Laughter - the best medicine

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

We were watching TV together when I noticed my wife scratching her face a few times.
I said "What's the matter?"
She said "My chin is itching".
I said "Which one?"
And..... that's when the fight started.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Stayed in an expensive hotel recently.
The bathroom towels were a nightmare.
So luxuriously thick and fluffy I couldn't close my suitcase.

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Warning ….. incoming Dad Joke

Was at my daughters yesterday and my other 2 daughters were visiting
We had a lovely time.

Middle child mentioned that at her partners work , a chap had called in to say that he wouldn’t be in coz his male cat “ Chuck” had started to give birth to kittens, there were 3 already , could be more and the whole house was utter chaos , kids screaming etc etc

I asked if this was “Caturnity leave “

Brilliant punnery, play on words, worthy of joke of the year……..

Jesus H Christ you could have heard the tumbleweed rolling.

“Dad that was awful” said one
Not one snigger, not one

Thinking of disowning them

 

[Imurg]

I'm with the Girls................

 

[PhilTheFragger]

I'm with the Girls................

No class some people

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Warning ….. incoming Dad Joke

Was at my daughters yesterday and my other 2 daughters were visiting
We had a lovely time.

Middle child mentioned that at her partners work , a chap had called in to say that he wouldn’t be in coz his male cat “ Chuck” had started to give birth to kittens, there were 3 already , could be more and the whole house was utter chaos , kids screaming etc etc

I asked if this was “Caturnity leave “

Brilliant punnery, play on words, worthy of joke of the year……..

Jesus H Christ you could have heard the tumbleweed rolling.

“Dad that was awful” said one
Not one snigger, not one

Thinking of disowning them

I'd have sniggered in support.

 

[nickjdavis]

Warning ….. incoming Dad Joke

Was at my daughters yesterday and my other 2 daughters were visiting
We had a lovely time.

Middle child mentioned that at her partners work , a chap had called in to say that he wouldn’t be in coz his male cat “ Chuck” had started to give birth to kittens, there were 3 already , could be more and the whole house was utter chaos , kids screaming etc etc

Does the cat need an agent?

 

[Voyager EMH]

Warning ….. incoming Dad Joke

Was at my daughters yesterday and my other 2 daughters were visiting
We had a lovely time.

Middle child mentioned that at her partners work , a chap had called in to say that he wouldn’t be in coz his male cat “ Chuck” had started to give birth to kittens, there were 3 already , could be more and the whole house was utter chaos , kids screaming etc etc

I asked if this was “Caturnity leave “

Brilliant punnery, play on words, worthy of joke of the year……..

Jesus H Christ you could have heard the tumbleweed rolling.

“Dad that was awful” said one
Not one snigger, not one

Thinking of disowning them

Family furore for feminine father feline fertility

 

[Slime]

 

[AmandaJR]

Family furore for feminine father feline fertility

Ooh nice. Awesome alliteration

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Me at 16.
"I will never end up like my parents!"
Me now.
"Why are all the lights on upstairs and who's altered the thermostat??"

 

[venger]

 

[Orikoru]

View attachment 61345

Ironic, but obviously the answer would be the most recent Batman which was Affleck.

 

[Slime]

 

[nickjdavis]

I have one highly intelligent child who is designing a new type of parachute and, putting this as politely as I can, I have another child who is willing to test it.

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

No matter how stupid you sometimes feel, remember Little Red riding Hood couldn't figure out that a talking wolf, dressed in drag, wasn't really her grandmother.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I started every phone call with "My battery's about to die". That way I can hang up as soon as I'm bored.