jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
Orikoru
Tour Winner
My wife actually did ask about putting the heating on the other day. I just laughed in her face.
Norrin Radd
Tour Winner
When are you due to recover
Doon frae Troon
Ryder Cup Winner
Women feel the cold more than men.
I have been told.
Heating is a constant battle in our house
Orikoru
Tour Winner
She's a weirdo though - she's cold when I'm warm, but she's also too hot when I'm cold. I think she might be from a different planet.
Sid Rixon IV
Head Pro
Husband to wife:
"I'm off to the pub, put your coat on".
Wife: "Ooh, you're taking me too!"
Husband: "No. I've turned the heating off."
"I'm off to the pub, put your coat on".
Wife: "Ooh, you're taking me too!"
Husband: "No. I've turned the heating off."
Slime
Tour Winner
Slime
Tour Winner
An atheist was walking through the woods one day in Alaska admiring all that evolution had created.
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.
A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "
"VERY WELL" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
"What majestic trees !
What a powerful river !
What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.
As he walked alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. Turning to look, he saw a 13 foot Kodiak bear beginning to charge toward him. He ran as fast as he could down the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was rapidly closing on him. Somehow he ran even faster, so scared that tears came to his eyes. He looked again and the bear was even closer. His heart pounding in his chest he tried to run even faster yet. But alas, he tripped and fell to the ground. As he rolled over to pick himself up he saw the bear reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to deliver a killing blow.
"OH MY GOD !" he pleadingly screamed.
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the powerful river stopped flowing.
A brilliant light shone upon the man and a thunderous voice came from all around,
"YOU DENY MY EXISTENCE FOR ALL THESE YEARS. YOU TEACH OTHERS THAT I DON'T EXIST. YOU EVEN CREDIT CREATION TO SOME COSMIC ACCIDENT. DO YOU EXPECT ME TO HELP YOU OUT OF THIS PREDICAMENT? AM I TO COUNT YOU AS A BELIEVER? "
Difficult as it was, the atheist looked directly into the light and said, "It would be hypocritical to ask to be a Christian after all these years and under these circumstances but perhaps you could make the bear a Christian? "
"VERY WELL" said the voice.
The light went out.
The river ran.
The sounds of the forest resumed.
The huge bear dropped down on his knees, brought both paws together, bowed and spoke............
"Lord, thank you for this food which I am about to receive."
nickjdavis
Head Pro
Pin-seeker
Well-known member
Slime
Tour Winner
I can see clearly now the Rayner's gone!
Voyager EMH
Slipper Wearing Plucker of Pheasants
My grandfather was called Dean.
My grandmother's name was Pearl.
We used to call them Grandma and Grand papapapapapappa-papapapapapappa-pa
My grandmother's name was Pearl.
We used to call them Grandma and Grand papapapapapappa-papapapapapappa-pa
venger
Well-known member
jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
Slime
Tour Winner
venger
Well-known member
Slime
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AussieKB
Well-known member
RichA
Well-known member
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
