Laughter - the best medicine

[clubchamp98]

View attachment 56363

That’s wrong.
Just been in M&S and it’s Chaos. Gale force 10.

 

[Slime]

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Not sure where to post this but......
Our boiler packed in Saturday so no heating or hot water (getting repaired tmw).
Im in my golf thermal top, cardigan and fleecy jogger.
Scrolling Netflix and found this log fire burning which plays for an hour. I've had it playing for 40mins and I swear I've warmed up!

 

[PhilTheFragger]

Not sure where to post this but......
Our boiler packed in Saturday so no heating or hot water (getting repaired tmw).
Im in my golf thermal top, cardigan and fleecy jogger.
Scrolling Netflix and found this log fire burning which plays for an hour. I've had it playing for 40mins and I swear I've warmed up!
View attachment 56371

The power of autosuggestion

 

[Slime]

 

[Tashyboy]

Does Evri Santa take a photo

 

[RichA]

Does Evri Santa take a photo

He doesn't use the chimney. Just dumps the presents behind the wheelie bin.

 

[Slime]

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the
stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man stood there.
'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road.
Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em '.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

 

[Slime]

My mate Scott just rang me & said he's just got a bargain coat from House of Bruar.
Original price was £280 & he got it for £75. He said it is supposed to be slightly imperfect, but he's had a good look all over it & the only thing he can find is that one of the sleeves is slightly shorter than the other two !

 

[Slime]

I never did find out what the knights in white sat in.

 

[Slime]

 

[Imurg]

 

[Imurg]

 

[Voyager EMH]

Three geezers gave him rather expensive presents, but Mary and Joseph gave him a tiny little teddy bear.

We know this because, "The little Lord Jesus lay down his wee ted."

 

[venger]

 

[sunshine]

Tom had been in Police work for 25 years. Finally sick of the
stress, he quit his job and bought 50 acres of land in Alaska as far from humanity as possible. He saw the postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise it was total peace and quiet. After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocked on his door. He opened it and a huge, bearded man stood there.
'Name's Cliff, your neighbor from forty miles up the road.
Having a Christmas party Friday night. Thought you might like to come at about 5:00...'
'Great', says Tom, 'after six months out here I'm ready to meet some local folks Thank you.'
As Cliff is leaving, he stops. 'Gotta warn you. Be some drinking'.
'Not a problem' says Tom. 'After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of 'em '.
Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. 'More 'n' likely gonna be some fighting' too.'
'Well, I get along with people, I'll be all right! . I'll be there. Thanks again.'
'More'n likely be some wild sex, too,'
'Now that's really not a problem' says Tom, warming to the idea. 'I've been all alone for six months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?'
'Don't much matter. Just gonna be the two of us.'

By all means share your Christmas plans on another thread. But this thread is supposed to be for jokes.

 

[jim8flog]

I never did find out what the knights in white sat in.

They said they would tell everybody when they reached the end.

 

[Imurg]