Tashyboy
Please don’t ask to see my tatts 👍
The English Channel is not that wide, so yes..
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, and orders three pints of Guinness.
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished all three, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.
The bartender says to him,
"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
Just after New Year's Day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January!"
He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finished all three, he came back to the bar and ordered three more.
The bartender says to him,
"You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it but it would taste better if you bought one at a time."
The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin.
When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we all used to drink together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always drinks the same way.
He orders three pints and drinks the three pints by taking drinks from each of them in turn.
Just after New Year's Day, he comes in and orders two pints.
All the other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.
When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says,
"I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your sad loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.
"Oh, no," he says, "Everyone is fine. It's me......I'm doing Dry January!"
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Voyager EMH
Slipper Wearing Plucker of Pheasants
Cheap tipper. Must have been British.
jim8flog
Journeyman Pro
bobmac
Major Champion
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THE WRONG EMAIL ADDRESS
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly cold winter, staying at
the same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon some twenty years earlier. Because of hectic
schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel arrangements. The husband therefore left
Minnesota and flew to Florida on the Thursday, and his wife was to fly down the following day.
The husband checked in to the hotel and then used a computer in the hotel lobby to send an email to
his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address and without realising the error, he
sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He
was a minister who had been called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to
check her emails expecting to find messages from her friends and relatives. After reading the
messages she let out a piercing scream and fainted!! The widow’s son rushed into the room and
found his mother on the floor, and looking at the still open computer screen he read:
To: My loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
I know you are surprised to hear from me. I have just arrived and checked in. I see that everything
has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey
is as uneventful as mine was.
PS. It sure is hot down here!!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly cold winter, staying at
the same hotel where they had spent their honeymoon some twenty years earlier. Because of hectic
schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel arrangements. The husband therefore left
Minnesota and flew to Florida on the Thursday, and his wife was to fly down the following day.
The husband checked in to the hotel and then used a computer in the hotel lobby to send an email to
his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her address and without realising the error, he
sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband’s funeral. He
was a minister who had been called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to
check her emails expecting to find messages from her friends and relatives. After reading the
messages she let out a piercing scream and fainted!! The widow’s son rushed into the room and
found his mother on the floor, and looking at the still open computer screen he read:
To: My loving Wife
Subject: I’ve Arrived
I know you are surprised to hear from me. I have just arrived and checked in. I see that everything
has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then! Hope your journey
is as uneventful as mine was.
PS. It sure is hot down here!!
Slime
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Bob, a new health and safety officer went into the works canteen on the construction site for the first time for a cuppa, he hung his coat and hard hat in the cloakroom and sat down. Unfortunately, the scaffolders always had a habit of picking on new employees, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his hard hat had been stolen.
Bob strolled back into the canteen, handily flipped his clip board into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and slapped it down hard onto the table, 'Bang!'
'Which one of you pole jumpers stole my hat?' he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
'Alright, I'm gonna have another cuppa, and if my hat ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I did in London! And I don't like to have to do what I did in London!'
Some of the scaffolders shifted restlessly. Bob, true to his word, had another cuppa, walked outside, and his hard hat has been returned to the cloakroom.
He started to go back to his office. The site foreman wandered out of the canteen and asked, 'Oi mate, before you go... tell me, what happened in London?'
Bob, the safety officer, turned back and said, 'I had to buy a new hat.'
Bob strolled back into the canteen, handily flipped his clip board into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and slapped it down hard onto the table, 'Bang!'
'Which one of you pole jumpers stole my hat?' he yelled with surprising forcefulness.
No one answered.
'Alright, I'm gonna have another cuppa, and if my hat ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I did in London! And I don't like to have to do what I did in London!'
Some of the scaffolders shifted restlessly. Bob, true to his word, had another cuppa, walked outside, and his hard hat has been returned to the cloakroom.
He started to go back to his office. The site foreman wandered out of the canteen and asked, 'Oi mate, before you go... tell me, what happened in London?'
Bob, the safety officer, turned back and said, 'I had to buy a new hat.'
bobmac
Major Champion
Does anyone want to buy Trumps golf course in Aberdeen?
It could be up for sale soon
$83.3m
It could be up for sale soon
$83.3m
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venger
Well-known member
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Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
