Laughter - the best medicine

[Norrin Radd]

View attachment 48408

Looks worse than it is ,he is totally fine starting it like that. The trigger is on the handle not the safety bar .

 

[Slime]

A woman in her forties went to a plastic surgeon for a face-lift.
The surgeon told her about a new procedure called "The Knob," where a small knob is placed on the back of a woman's head and can be turned to tighten up her skin to produce the effect of a brand new face lift.

Of course, the woman wanted "The Knob."

Over the course of the years, the woman tightened the knob, and the effects were wonderful -- the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to the surgeon with two problems.

"All these years, everything has been working just fine.
I've had to turn the knob and I've always loved the results.
But now I've developed two annoying problems:

First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them."

The doctor looked at her closely and said, "Those aren't bags, those are your boobs."

She said, "No point asking about the beard then..........."

 

[Slime]

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Turk, a German, an Indian, an American, an Argentinean, a Dane, am Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Columbian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portugese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyztani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukranian, a Dutchman, a Taiwanese, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, and a Norwegian walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," said the maître d', "but you can't come in here without a Thai."

 

[Dando]

 

[Norrin Radd]

View attachment 48410

Nearly but not quite , lol

I'm sure it will get a few

 

[Dando]

 

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An Aeroplane cleaner was cleaning the Pilot's cockpit when he saw a book titled, "HOW TO FLY AN AEROPLANE FOR BEGINNERS (Volume 1).

He opened the first (1st) page, which said: "To start the engine, press the red button...." He did so, and the airplane engine started....

He was happy and opened the next page...

"To get the aeroplane moving, press the blue button..."He did so, and the plane started moving at an amazing speed....

He wanted to fly, so he opened the third (3rd) page, which said: To let the aeroplane fly, please press the green button...

"He did so, and the plane started to fly.. He was excited..!!

After twenty (20) minutes of flying, he was satisfied and wanted to land, so he decided to go to the fourth (4th) page....

And....page four (4) says; "To know how to land an aeroplane, please purchase Volume 2 at the nearest bookshop!"

*Moral Lesson*
Never attempt anything without complete information.

 

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[Dando]

 

[venger]

 

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