PhilTheFragger
Provider of Entertainment for the Golfing Gods 🙄
was that a Jimmy Carr one?
Laughter - the best medicine
- Thread starter YandaB
- Start date
was that a Jimmy Carr one?
Mudball
Assistant Pro
The Rich Shoeshiner
Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there .
He used to sit on the chair , read the Wall Street Journal , and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny , great look .
One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO:
"What do you think of the stock market situation ?"
The CEO arrogantly asks him:
"Why are you so interested in this subject ?"
The shoeshine man replies:
"I have twenty million dollars deposited in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market"
The CEO of the bank asks:
"What is your name ?"
He replies:
"John Smith H ."
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department:
"Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?"
The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies:
*We certainly do , Sir !
He is an extremely esteemed customer ! He has twenty million dollars in his account ."
The CEO leaves the bank , approaches the shoeshine boy , and says:
"Mr. Smith , I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story . I'm sure we will have a lot to learn from you ."
At the board meeting , the CEO introduces him to the board members:
"We all know Mr. Smith , who makes our shoes shine like no one else . But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer , with twenty million dollars in his account .
I invited him to tell us the story of his life . I'm sure we can learn a lot from him . Please , Mr. Smith , tell us your life story ."
Then , Mr. Smith began to narrate his story:
"I came to this country thirty years ago as a young immigrant from Eastern Europe and with an unpronounceable name . I left the ship penniless in my pocket .
The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith .
I was hungry and exhausted . I started to wander in search for a job , but without success .
Suddenly , I found a coin on the sidewalk . I bought some apples .
I had two options: eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business .
I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money .
When I started accumulating dollars , I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes .
I didn't spend a dime on fun or clothes . I only bought bread and cheese to survive .
I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele .
I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny . After a while , I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes , which brought me more customers .
I didn't spend a dime on the pleasures of life . I kept saving every penny .
A few years ago , when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire , I had already saved enough money to buy his point , which was a better place than mine .
Finally , three months ago , my brother , who was a drug dealer in Chicago , passed away and left me twenty million dollars….
??
Anyway guys ,
this is just a campaign to promote reading ! Reading stimulates the mind and imagination and helps communication .
Every morning, the CEO of a major bank in Manhattan went to the corner where a shoeshine man was always there .
He used to sit on the chair , read the Wall Street Journal , and the shoeshine man gave his shoes a shiny , great look .
One morning, the shoeshine man asks the CEO:
"What do you think of the stock market situation ?"
The CEO arrogantly asks him:
"Why are you so interested in this subject ?"
The shoeshine man replies:
"I have twenty million dollars deposited in your bank and I am thinking about investing part of the money in the stock market"
The CEO of the bank asks:
"What is your name ?"
He replies:
"John Smith H ."
The CEO arrives at the bank and asks the Manager of the Major Accounts Department:
"Do we have a customer named John Smith H.?"
The Customer Service Manager for Major Accounts replies:
*We certainly do , Sir !
He is an extremely esteemed customer ! He has twenty million dollars in his account ."
The CEO leaves the bank , approaches the shoeshine boy , and says:
"Mr. Smith , I would like to invite you to be our guest of honor at our board meeting next Monday and tell us your life story . I'm sure we will have a lot to learn from you ."
At the board meeting , the CEO introduces him to the board members:
"We all know Mr. Smith , who makes our shoes shine like no one else . But Mr. Smith is also our valued customer , with twenty million dollars in his account .
I invited him to tell us the story of his life . I'm sure we can learn a lot from him . Please , Mr. Smith , tell us your life story ."
Then , Mr. Smith began to narrate his story:
"I came to this country thirty years ago as a young immigrant from Eastern Europe and with an unpronounceable name . I left the ship penniless in my pocket .
The first thing I did was to change my name to Smith .
I was hungry and exhausted . I started to wander in search for a job , but without success .
Suddenly , I found a coin on the sidewalk . I bought some apples .
I had two options: eat the apples and quench my hunger or start a business .
I sold the apples for 50 cents and bought more apples with the money .
When I started accumulating dollars , I managed to buy a set of used brushes and shoe polishes and started cleaning shoes .
I didn't spend a dime on fun or clothes . I only bought bread and cheese to survive .
I saved penny by penny and after a while I bought a new set of brushes and shoe polishes in different shades and colors and increased my clientele .
I lived like a monk and saved a penny after penny . After a while , I managed to buy a chair so that my customers could sit comfortably while I cleaned their shoes , which brought me more customers .
I didn't spend a dime on the pleasures of life . I kept saving every penny .
A few years ago , when the corner shoeshine colleague decided to retire , I had already saved enough money to buy his point , which was a better place than mine .
Finally , three months ago , my brother , who was a drug dealer in Chicago , passed away and left me twenty million dollars….
??
Anyway guys ,
this is just a campaign to promote reading ! Reading stimulates the mind and imagination and helps communication .
bobmac
Major Champion
What happened after the apples?
drdel
Tour Rookie
He gave up, in favour of selling joints
D
Deleted member 1147
Guest
So the moral of the story is don’t work hard, spend all you have, and some one else will leave you a fortune ?
Slime
Tour Winner
No idea.
backwoodsman
Tour Winner
Oh dear. A cat joke. Be prepared to be ostracised ...
Slime
Tour Winner
How about a dog joke?
Slime
Tour Winner
YandaB
Newbie
Doon frae Troon
Ryder Cup Winner
OOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Taking that tape off will be sore.
Prepare for scratches.
srixon 1
Journeyman Pro
The art of the silent fart, brilliant. A Labrador specialty.
My dog (cockapoo) has mastered this dark art as well
bobmac
Major Champion
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
This one's for ChrisD..
AmandaJR
Money List Winner
I feel sorry for Amanda's husband, he has no idea who it was
Very true - mine to be frustratingly noisy though
The premier inn at hayling have a new sign for when the H4H crew turn up
PhilTheFragger
Provider of Entertainment for the Golfing Gods 🙄
SatchFan
Q-School Graduate
Frankie Boyle.
