I need a golf partner. Rant Warning.

[Skypilot]

Need a new golf partner

Rant Warning first.

I'm really pissed off with my golfing partner (my brother)
We both retired and started playing golf together about 5 years ago when he took retirement.

We both have annual membership at our local club which is excellent value - If You Play Now and Then

Anyway - The original arrangement was we would play 3 times a week.
But almost straight off he looks for excuses to cancel. Routine stuff like Dr/Dentist appointments, shopping, car servicing etc. All stuff that that I or anyone one else would schedule around.

Then came medical issues (HAH) He's fit as a fiddle (4 years younger than me) and I suffer with feet and ankle problems as well as arthritis.
He's decided that pushing a trolley tires him. So now we share my clubs except for a couple that he carries in a pencil bag to satisfy the club regulations.
Also - He will only play a maximum of 9 holes. This has meant our handicaps have expired as we have not been able to put in full cards.

Now this morning he rang me...
I can't play tomorrow as I've got to go to the shops
But, says I, we always finish by 10:30.
"Er, um, yeah, um . . . . Are you stockpiling food because of the coronavirus" (typical diversion tactics)
Me " WHAT, no. What are you on about"
Him - "Well, with all the deaths there'll be panic buying.
Me - "They've just been discussing it on the TV. 21 people have died in the UK and 14,000 died of Flu last year.
Him - "Er, ok. see you next time then.

I need to find someone else to play with. I enjoy the golf and need the exercise.

Any suggestions welcome.

 

[RangeMonkey]

There haven’t been any deaths in the UK from Covid-19.

 

[Orikoru]

It sounds like he just doesn't really enjoy golf, he should have the courage to be a bit more honest with you if that's the case though.

If you're already a member at a club then just speak to the captain or someone about how can be a bit more involved there, join roll-ups or enter competitions to meet the other members and get to know them - and get to know what times you can pop down to get a game with someone.

 

[User20204]

I'd suggest you simply just look for another playing partner as he's clearly not interested and it's obviously stressing you.

As it happens my brother is similar, last year I went out my way to play with him on a Sunday as he'd just joined our club so he had someone to play with. 6 times he played, call offs was the usual, oh I'm picking up Mark (his son) oh the football is on, oh I've pulled a shoestring. Hadn't heard a peep out of him since early June last year in regards golf, couple weeks back he says, paid my fees again, looking forward to it....joker.

 

[Russ_D]

Sounds to me like he took up golf with you because a) it sounded like a good idea at the time. b) because he's your brother and you are obviously pretty close if you are able to share hobbies.

The thing about golf is that many people take it up thinking it cant be that hard then realise it is and give up.
I think he's making excuses because he doesn't want to let you down.

 

[Jensen]

Maybe he enjoys the golf, but not with you ??
I would schedule a meet, assuming he doesn't cancel that ??, and be direct as to what the problem is.
If you don't have any joy then move on and look to play with other members at roll up etc

 

[User20204]

I would schedule a meet,

Schedule a meet ? It's his brother not his boss at work he can just pick the phone up and ask him.

 

[Old Skier]

Join the seniors if your old enough. Normally plenty of opportunities there normally. Othwise move down to N Devon and I'll pay with you

 

[Jensen]

Schedule a meet ? It's his brother not his boss at work he can just pick the phone up and ask him.

That's fine, just make sure the Personal Assistant is also there to take notes

 

[patricks148]

Sounds like he wants to break up with you... did he also mention it was "him and not you" and he "needed space"

plenty more fish in the sea, stick a notice on the board at the club, speak to the pro about who you could play with or if you are a member at a decent course in the SE, people on here will be over you like a rash for a game

 

[IanM]

....made me smile! My sister is great, but sometimes she makes me scream!

....play with other people. Problem solved

 

[Skypilot]

It sounds like he just doesn't really enjoy golf, he should have the courage to be a bit more honest with you if that's the case though.

If you're already a member at a club then just speak to the captain or someone about how can be a bit more involved there, join roll-ups or enter competitions to meet the other members and get to know them - and get to know what times you can pop down to get a game with someone.

I agree with your first point.
Don't you have to have a valid handicap to do these roll-ups and competitions?

 

[IanM]

...no, and they will mark your card till you have enough lodged to get your handicap

 

[Orikoru]

I agree with your first point.
Don't you have to have a valid handicap to do these roll-ups and competitions?

Yes to enter the competitions, but you could play in a few competition rounds alongside other members to get them to mark your three cards for initial handicap again.

 

[Wolf]

Pop in the club speak to the Pro I'm sure he can arrange a game with some friendly members then you'll start expanding the circle of people you play with get cards marked and get handicap. It'll become all the more fun and sociable for you?

Got to admit I couldn't think of anything worse than ever having to play a round with my brother again ?

 

[Old Skier]

I agree with your first point.
Don't you have to have a valid handicap to do these roll-ups and competitions?

It sounds like you need to speak to some members and the secretary.

 

[Skypilot]

Sounds to me like he took up golf with you because a) it sounded like a good idea at the time. b) because he's your brother and you are obviously pretty close if you are able to share hobbies.

The thing about golf is that many people take it up thinking it cant be that hard then realise it is and give up.
I think he's making excuses because he doesn't want to let you down.

Thanks for your answer but we are not close (except he only lives a few streets away )
In fact he drives me mad. He's really totally self absorbed.
We've played golf for years but until retirement it was a handful of times a years.

If I can find a way to get more involved with other groups such as seniors etc or find someone else to play with I'll just give up on him.

 

[jpjeffery]

He will only play a maximum of 9 holes. This has meant our handicaps have expired as we have not been able to put in full cards.

This at least will no longer be an issue when the WHS comes in later this year...

 

[jpjeffery]

Yes to enter the competitions, but you could play in a few competition rounds alongside other members to get them to mark your three cards for initial handicap again.

Depending on the club. We stipulate only one card is required to renew your competition status.

 

[trevor]

I joined a new club exactly a year ago without knowing a single person. I now play in the seniors on Monday, 2 roll ups and often a game by myself or a friend.