Golf humor--------Family Men

[firestone]

Three men are in a bar, all very drunk, and talking to each other, bragging about their families.

The first guy says, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."

The second guy says, "That's nothin'. I have eleven sons. One more and I'll have a football team."

The third guy, the drunkest of them all replies "You guys haven't found true happiness. I have seventeen wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."

 

[drawboy]

During a tournament Jack nicklaus sliced the drive into the gallery, knocking a woman spectator out cold. When he arrived at the scene the lady had come around and was been comforted by the first aid guys. "I am really sorry announced Jack, if you go into the hospitality tent and say I sent you please help yourself to Champagne or whatever by way of an apology"
The woman did just that. At the end of play Jack went to make sure she was o.k. the lady was fine. "where are you staying tonight Jack?" she asked "The Ritz" replied Jack. "There is no need, please stop at mine to make up for your kindness I've had a wonderfull day" said the woman, so off they went. Once back at hers one thing led to another and the inevitable happened. Jack was getting out of the bed when the woman asked him where he was going? "I'm off to get dressed" said Jack "But darling, when Tiger stayed the night he made love to me again" she said. Jack thought, anything that young upstart can do, and got back in for another go. he was getting out again when she said Jack where are you off, when tiger was here he did it again. Jack slumped back in and once again did the biz. He rolled out of bed covered in sweat and crawled towards the bedroom door. "where are you going now"? said the woman frustrated.
Jack turned to her and said "I'm off to ring Tiger and see what the par is for this hole"!!

 

[vig]

A lady golfer hooked a ball on to an adjoining fairway and watched in horror as it struck a man. Down he went clasping his hands to his groin, rolling around in agony. The woman rushed to the man offering to relieve his pain as she was a physiotherapist.
The man said "no,i'll be fine" but she insisted. Dhe gently took his hands away, undid his trousers, put her hands inside and gave the most gentle massage that lasted for several minutes. She asked "how does that feel"
The man replied "it feels wonderful, but i still think my thumb is broken"