Getting Old - How worried are you and options?

[3offTheTee]

Watched the Ed Ball’s programmes the other week and Panorama tonight. Nothing political here but getting old is something that affect us all. Cost is a major problem for care in older age and for some of us it is closer than we think.

For us it is worrying as neither us have brothers nor sisters and 3 sons and family live in Spain, Australia and New Zealand.

Have you thought about the potential problems and seeing the 3 programmes they are worrying times. Any thoughts?

 

[williamalex1]

I hope to pass away in my sleep after a good football result and a few brandies in the distant future .
My wife is younger and in a lot better nick than me, but still couldn't cope looking after me physically and I wouldn't wish that on her.
What will be will be.
I wouldn't make a good resident in a care home

 

[SocketRocket]

Watched the Ed Ball’s programmes the other week and Panorama tonight. Nothing political here but getting old is something that affect us all. Cost is a major problem for care in older age and for some of us it is closer than we think.

For us it is worrying as neither us have brothers nor sisters and 3 sons and family live in Spain, Australia and New Zealand.

Have you thought about the potential problems and seeing the 3 programmes they are worrying times. Any thoughts?

One thing that's certain, worrying about it won't change anything. People either have the wealth to see them through an expensive care home or they have to rely on the state, in many cases old age brings health issues like dementia where it's the family that can get more depressed than the elderly person.

 

[jim8flog]

My wife needed constant care but we were lucky in that she stayed at home.

I look back at her care package and wonder if she would have got that in the current climate. The locals had to put up a special case to keep her at home because they total amount of hours and cost far exceeded what it would have cost to put her in to a nursing home. One of the big things for her was having to be put to bed at 8.30 at night at the age of 40 and not being got out of bed until 9am.

I live on my own and and it is something that worries me.

 

[Hobbit]

I don’t worry about me. It will be whatever it is. However, I do worry about HID, assuming I go first. There’s lots of things she either can’t do, e.g. she’s not IT savvy, or won’t attempt.

If in later years we need help with cleaning the place, washing, ironing then we’ll find someone.

There’s a position on the committee at the bowls club called welfare officer, and there’s a core of members who get stuck in when people struggle. There’s a 93 year old member whose marbles are a bit rattly. He gets 2 visits a day. His meals are done for him, as is his cleaning. Any interaction with Spanish bureaucracy is covered. All at no cost to him.

 

[IanM]

I'm more worried about not getting old.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

One reason my wife has for considering a move to a Scotland is that, my side, we are a quite large, and very close and supportive family, and my wife gets on well with my cousins and their children. On my wife’s side she doesn’t have much in the way of close family - and certainly nothing down south where we are given our daughter could move anywhere in the country even though she is currently only a mile away.

As we will almost certainly move from here in 5-7yrs time, were we to head north of the border she feels we’d have much more family support not that far away. Of course there are reasons we might not move. But yes…in respect of getting old, having family support not far away is a consideration high on our list of considerations.

 

[Tashyboy]

My wife needed constant care but we were lucky in that she stayed at home.

I look back at her care package and wonder if she would have got that in the current climate. The locals had to put up a special case to keep her at home because they total amount of hours and cost far exceeded what it would have cost to put her in to a nursing home. One of the big things for her was having to be put to bed at 8.30 at night at the age of 40 and not being got out of bed until 9am.

I live on my own and and it is something that worries me.

Serious question Jim. In what sense does being on your own worry you? My mum and Dad have 4 kids, me and me younger brother see my parents regular. My other two bother and sister not so and it upsets my parents.
Stay safe Jim

 

[williamalex1]

One reason my wife has for considering a move to a Scotland is that, my side, we are a quite large, and very close and supportive family, and my wife gets on well with my cousins and their children. On my wife’s side she doesn’t have much in the way of close family - and certainly nothing down south where we are given our daughter could move anywhere in the country even though she is currently only a mile away.

As we will almost certainly move from here in 5-7yrs time, were we to head north of the border she feels we’d have much more family support not that far away. Of course there are reasons we might not move. But yes…in respect of getting old, having family support not far away is a consideration high on our list of considerations.

Remember she'll need a big warm coat .

 

[HomerJSimpson]

A little worried as both parents dies in their early 70's. I do worry about getting old as HID and I don't have kids and so no-one to look after us or at least help. We both have com-morbidities which also nags away. Given my mental health isn't/hasn't been in a great place in the last 18 months it isn't something I try to dwell on. I need to look at my NHS pension and think about adding to the pot

 

[jim8flog]

My son lives 150 miles away and although my daughter lives near me I really do not want her to feel responsible for my care. I know from experience just how much work that can involve and the emotional pressures that it also brings. I tried my hardest to keep both of them away from having to do any of the care for my wife.

Having been inside many care homes when my wife went in for me to have some respite I know I would never want to be in one, it is not the sort of life I would want . I see it as existing rather than living. My wife absolutely hated having to go in to one.

I also remember the resentment from my sister towards my brother and me as being the only one who lived close to our mum who did most of the caring in her dying weeks. We had managed to get her in to a hospice but she insisted on dying ay home.

 

[Tashyboy]

Personally it’s not something I worry about at all. I worked in the pits for 36 years and paid into pensions for 36 years. I have never been financially rich and never will be, unless Euro millions is kind to me. But I have been a millionaire when it comes to family. No one will convince me wealth is better than health.
working in the medical centre at the pits taught me there is a shitty end of the stick. Life can be taken away in an instant. My golfing playing partners have seen that. I hope to leave this life full of memories and not dreams.
All that said, I really do feel for those that have no one. It is on a par with those that do have someone who have kids that don’t give a *** about visiting there elderly parents and grandparents.

 

[Jamesbrown]

The day when I can barely walk or wipe my own backside is the day I call it quits. I’m not worried, just worried it gets there too quickly.
Would be nice if euthanasia would be legal by then in this country.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Remember she'll need a big warm coat .

Indeed…that being one of the reasons we might NOT move north of the border….in fact it’s the MAIN reason ??

 

[williamalex1]

Indeed…that being one of the reasons we might NOT move north of the border….in fact it’s the MAIN reason ??

Be a Snowbird.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Be a Snowbird.

Not getting being a snowbird…?

 

[Ethan]

The day when I can barely walk or wipe my own backside is the day I call it quits. I’m not worried, just worried it gets there too quickly.
Would be nice if euthanasia would be legal by then in this country.

You aren't worried about next Thursday?

 

[chrisd]

I'm immortal - I've been dying to say that ??

 

[Jamesbrown]

You aren't worried about next Thursday?

No I could be dead by then.

 

[williamalex1]

Not getting being a snowbird…?

That's what Canadians call their pensioners who go to Florida and stay over the winter months and return home in summer.