I think tody is the first time I've admitte to myself that I'm starting to struggle. The first lockdown wasn't too bad, the weather was great, I was furloghed the kids were off etc, it was liveable with, but I don't like winter months at the best of times and this year I'm really starting to feel it. I'm sick of the whoe thing now, sick of living like this, not being able to play the game I love (and hate) despite it being probably the most covid secure thing you do. Sick of having remembering to grab a bloody mask before I go out anywhere, sick of being told I can't go out anyway, sick of being talked to like a piece of dog crap for daring to ask someone to put a mask on on public transport, for them to wave an 'exemption card', which they've downloaded off the web, in my face because wearing a bit of cloth over their face for a few minutes makes them a bit anxious and they can't breathe. No, you can't breath because you're the weight of a horse and you smoke 40 B+H a day you fat selfish slob. But I can't say that as I will lose my job so I just have to smile politely and get on with it, whilst getting more grief from mask wearing passengers for not enforcing the mask rule. I'm sick of my childrens education being harmed as they constantly have to take time off due to another child/teacher testing positive. The job I loved disappeared, literally overnight, and there's no sign of it coming back any time soon. I just want this over now and some kind of normality to return, but when/what will that be? The government that I once had faith in now don't seem to have a bloody clue and we're just going round in cirles.
And all the while people are dying in their hundreds, and I feel incredibly selfish for writing what I have becasue of that.
Sorry for the rant, hoping getting it off my chest a bit helps