Who wants a bonus....I do.

[Tommo21]

First part taken from the BBC web site about RBS

"Indeed the bank has said it made a loss of up to £8bn in 2008 and will have to write off £20bn worth of assets relating to the takeover of ABN Amro". I like this, I want a part of this, I want a bonus system that that pays me a small fortune when I’m in the $hite. So lets look at other professions that could pay bonuses for massive failure.

Bob the builder, builds a new block of luxury flats right in the middle of a field of $hite and unbelievably the flats never sell………..Bob gets a big bonus for turning $hite into a smelly eyesore.

Barry the brain surgeon, he operates on his patient but decides to go for a round of golf mid operation. The patient sadly passes away………Barry gets a nice wee bonus for saving the NHS the after care.

Larry the lawyer rips off numerous people for legal aid and gets a bonus for showing up the flaws in the system.

Peter the policeman sits for days to try and catch a murder before he does it again. Pete falls asleep and is rewarded with a nice bonus and pension for highlighting the extra hours police have to endure.

Harvey the stair lift builder forgets to put in the safety mechanism and poor old wifey is killed when the lift shoots down the stairs…….Harvey gets a nice bonus as the stairlift has to be replaced for the old wifes husband.

Billy the butcher decides to use a bit of beef that’s past it’s best and gives the old folks home a good clear out……Billy gets a bonus for have to work overtime to make the next batch of sausages.

Anyone else like to add a bonus.

 

[nmartyn]

yeah i'd like one for working in an investment bank - putting in a shed load of overtime and weekends throughout the year, with no days in lieu and no extra pay, only for the big wigs to award themselves huge bonus' whilst the rest of us get sod all other than monthly 'redundancy announcements' when we all come into work and sit [****] scared hoping the phone doesn't ring with someone from HR asking you to go to a meeting room to be told you're gone.

thats happened 3 times in the past 3 months and believe me when i say its NOT a nice place to be right now.
oh and by the way i work in IT where our aim is to make life easier and increase profit margins for the trade floor - do we see a kick back from this? do we feck.

we have to attend 'town hall speeches' from CO's telling us how well its all going.... followed by regular assurances that no more cuts will be made - a week later... guess what.

 

[Tommo21]

And not one of the banking bosses who caused all this trouble have any banking qualifications.