Virtual 18 holes??

Up bright and early and keen as anything to get the round finished off despite the bitter cold, we're at the 12th tee.

411 yard par 4. Slight dog leg right. Trees down the right hand side. OOB down the left. Trees guarding the left edge of the green too. And don't miss the green right or we'll be left with an unstoppable chip down a sharp incline.

Quick nip of sloe gin from the hip flask to warm up. Couple of rather stiff practice swings and.....

Not terrible. Caught it a little thin but the frost helps out with some much needed run.

245 yards, on the fairway, just left of centre. That'll do.

165 left. Just don't miss right with the approach.

Time for another nip from the hip flask.
 
Bring it on. Chilly this morning but I'm feeling refreshed opt for the safe play and a smooth 6 iron rather than a full 7. Catch it beautifully leaving a lovely divot. Hold the pose but it's leaking a little bit right, come on baby the forummers are watching hold your line......

.....members bounce!!!! (I might join this course after all) the ball rolls back towards the hole down the slope. A tricky downhill 15 footer breaking left to right about six inches if you get the pace right, needs a measured touch.
 
It's hanging on the lip of the hole Grumps.....if that's what you've convinced others 6" looks like....fair play sir! :D

Tapped in.

499yd par 4!!! What is going on, we're amateurs FFS. Bit of a dog leg right, OOB all the way down the left.

Luckily the rock hard frozen ground has seen my drive chasing and we are left centre of the fairway 198 to the front, pin is 30yds on. Big drop off over the back, can;'t go long.
 
Ground is playing like tarmac and long is not an option. Choose the trusty 5 iron. Winter rules means I can find a bit of turf that's a little more defrosted and catch it beautifully, it looks short but I didn't want to leave you fellas in the cr@p again...what the f... ball kicks off a frozen piece of ground and shoots 20 feet up in the air and is now bobbling and rolling along like plastic possessed. It's good news for us though we're on the green (albeit hugging the right hand side)but a daunting 20 yard putt that's breaking all over the show - someone better at reading greens needs to have a look at this one.
 
We're on the green (albeit hugging the right hand side)but a daunting 20 yard putt that's breaking all over the show - someone better at reading greens needs to have a look at this one.
Click to expand...

I'd like to volunteer to putt that 20 yarder that's breaking all over the show Captain Mainwaring.
You all know me and putters
:D :D :D
 
Any danger of hitting it then Smiffy!!!! Personally I'd prefer JD to take it on as he's less likely to knob it through the green and down the bank at the back / leave it 19 yards short!!!! :D
 
I'll putt it, Smiffy's putter relations have reached an all time low. So p!ssed off with a crap practice stroke he's helicoptered it into the bushes.

Line up putt putter back and give it an almighty smash up the green, still leave it a foot short.

Inside right should get it.
 
Next hole, long par 5. 578 yards, SI3. Elevated tee but a 265 yard carry over a big lake.
I initially pull my 3 wood out, think about it, and replace it, reaching for my trusty i15 Driver. Take a couple of practice swings, they feel up to their usual standard.
Place the driver back in the bag, fire up the old GoKart and head back to the clubhouse for a drink.
Jeez that was scarey
 
Has anyone got the GOKART customer service number? Something has fallen off Smiffy's plastic pig on the way back to the clubhouse. :o :D
 
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