Unwelcome playing parners

[PaulMdj]

To be honest, I don't get the problem: If I don't want to play with someone, I just don't! No one can force me to!

Bit difficult for 30 guys to get 7-8 slots together after he’s put his name down in one of them.

The three guys he’s joined up with have the same choice you would do.

What if these 3 guys can only play once a week and by cancelling they miss out, next week 3 other guys etc etc.

I reckon we’d all feel the same as you as an individual, but he’s ruining a roll up by the sounds of it.

 

[Oops!]

Bit difficult for 30 guys to get 7-8 slots together after he’s put his name down in one of them.

The three guys he’s joined up with have the same choice you would do.

What if these 3 guys can only play once a week and by cancelling they miss out, next week 3 other guys etc etc.

I reckon we’d all feel the same as you as an individual, but he’s ruining a roll up by the sounds of it.

If all else fails, the other three can chip in and book a “fictitious” fourth player for their flight. That way, the unwanted player can’t book himself in.

Okay, it costs money, but it might be worth it…!

But that would really be a last option for me. First, I’d try talking to him.

 

[PaulMdj]

If all else fails, the other three can chip in and book a “fictitious” fourth player for their flight. That way, the unwanted player can’t book himself in.

Okay, it costs money, but it might be worth it…!

But that would really be a last option for me. First, I’d try talking to him.

And if it is found out they have done that they risk club disciplinary issues.

I think they’ve got 2 choices, play alongside him and not speak (apart from the one marking his card) or withdraw if the guys in the 3 ball felt that strongly.

But if they withdraw he needs to be told why.

 

[Radbourne2010]

This resonates with me a little. Back in 2018 I started a messy divorce which dragged on for nearly two years. It affected relationships within my family, friend circle & social network. This of course included golf. It's difficult spending 4+ hours with your own thoughts, trying to master a difficult game whilst keeping up the pretense of having fun & talking about all the usual things we discuss on the golf course. In the end I had to give up golf for 6 months, suspend my membership at my club & cut myself off from a sport & lifestyle I'd bulit uip over the past 15-20 years. It actually took a lot of courage, and thankfully support from fellow members & close golf friends, to cagole me back to the golf course & eventually re-join my club. No one outside of my close circle of friends knew what I'd been through & barely anyone asked or cared.

Maybe worth having a one-to-one chat with this guy. Try to get him to open up a little instead of going in hard by telling him how obnoxious he was/is & that no one wants/wanted to play with him. Just saying, not everything is what it appears.

 

[KenL]

This guy is a real one off. There are 30 in the group and he managed to alienate every single of them!

Wonder why the club let him re-join if he’s that bad. Is there no vetting process?

 

[JonnyGutteridge]

Can I ask what makes him so unbearable? Behaviour, opinions, etiquette?

 

[rudebhoy]

Wonder why the club let him re-join if he’s that bad. Is there no vetting process?

No. It’s not like he was kicked out. He chose to leave and is now back. When I joined, you had an interview with the general manager. I could be wrong but I think these days, you pay your subs, you are in.

 

[KenL]

No. It’s not like he was kicked out. He chose to leave and is now back. When I joined, you had an interview with the general manager. I could be wrong but I think these days, you pay your subs, you are in.

Yes I suppose so at most clubs. Some are still very traditional requiring letters of introduction etc.

 

[rudebhoy]

Can I ask what makes him so unbearable? Behaviour, opinions, etiquette?

A bit of all 3. He takes great pleasure in telling everyone how great he is at everything (not just golf) and how everyone else is hopeless. As soon as he joined us, he started a barrage of complaints on the WhatsApp group. It got a bit poisonous.

He is just one of those obnoxious types. No point sitting down and explaining anything to him and giving another chance. We just want him to sod off and annoy someone else!

 

[clubchamp98]

A bit of all 3. He takes great pleasure in telling everyone how great he is at everything (not just golf) and how everyone else is hopeless. As soon as he joined us, he started a barrage of complaints on the WhatsApp group. It got a bit poisonous.

He is just one of those obnoxious types. No point sitting down and explaining anything to him and giving another chance. We just want him to sod off and annoy someone else!

He’s not POTUS is he?

Tough one but sometimes you need to tell him to sod off .!

 

[sunshine]

Can I ask what makes him so unbearable? Behaviour, opinions, etiquette?

He wore black socks with shorts

 

[Springveldt]

Wonder why the club let him re-join if he’s that bad. Is there no vetting process?

They let any old riff raff in, even me.

No. It’s not like he was kicked out. He chose to leave and is now back. When I joined, you had an interview with the general manager. I could be wrong but I think these days, you pay your subs, you are in.

Same when I first joined. Had to have a quick chat with the general manager. This time they just took my money, maybe because I had been a member for 8 years previously though.

 

[sunshine]

I agree with what you suggest, but you can’t make him “get lost” especially if he is such ahole.

I think you need to slice your tee shot into the trees. Ask him to help you look for your ball, deep into the woods, then when he's not looking a quick 4 iron to the back of his skull and he won't be troubling you any more. Best to plan ahead and dig a shallow grave in the right spot before you tee off, then you can quickly dump the body without having to call through the group behind.

 

[Springveldt]

He’s not POTUS is he?

Tough one but sometimes you need to tell him to sod off .!

Don't think the guy has been club champion so clearly not POTUS.

 

[Lucifer MorningStar]

A bit of all 3. He takes great pleasure in telling everyone how great he is at everything (not just golf) and how everyone else is hopeless. As soon as he joined us, he started a barrage of complaints on the WhatsApp group. It got a bit poisonous.

He is just one of those obnoxious types. No point sitting down and explaining anything to him and giving another chance. We just want him to sod off and annoy someone else!

How do you know there’s no point if you don’t try. He may be completely unaware of his shortcomings and if nobody tells him how can anyone expect anything different.

I used to play league matches and was paired with the guy everyone hated . I ended up getting on really well with him simply because at the outset I laid out what I’d heard about him. He had no idea his actions made people feel the way they did about him, ended up playing medals and comps together simply because I honest and he took that on board. Whereas others simply went down the ignore route and could never work out why his behaviour toward them didn’t change.

I’m not saying it’ll work out that way in your case but does it really hurt to try. Best case scenario he listens and becomes a better person, worst case he ignores it all and is still a pleb but even in that regards you’ll both know where you stand and can move on without bothering each other again.

 

[WorldHandicapSystem]

Surely someone from your group of lads could put their big boy pants on and have a quiet word with the chap in question?

 

[The Fader]

We had a guy join our club a couple of years ago. He didn’t have anyone to play with so we welcomed him into our roll up group.

It turned out that he was totally obnoxious. Within a couple of months he had managed to antagonise the whole group, and we took a collective decision to tell him he was no longer welcome to play with us.

He disappeared from our radar, and eventually left to join another club.

Moving forward 12 months, he has now rejoined our club, and has now started putting his name down to play with our lads wherever he spots a gap. He first booking is in two weeks time.

It’s a bit of an awkward one, we can’t remove him from our bookings, so are pondering how to deal with this. We could ignore him other than marking his card, but that is going to make a pleasurable game very awkward. We could tell him to stop putting his name down to play with us, but he is likely to complain to the club saying he has a right to put his name down with anyone he pleases.

Thoughts?

Your answer is in lines 2 and 3 above.

Give him a secomd chance and If he hasn't changed - just rinse and repeat.

Chances are he will react as he did previously

 

[ADB]

It’s only words, does he keep up with the pace of play and know the rules…if so, think your group is being a little precious and clicky

 

[kp17]

One of the 30 phone the guy and say stop booking in with us we aw think you are an absolute pain in the neck

 

[kp17]

Unless he’s like a really obnoxious boxing champion