The Most Annoying, Disgusting, and Vile Person to Play With, Ever!

[Tashyboy]

Last year I played in a society day at Mapperley, one of the lads who is a horrible prat got drawn in my fourball. The other two lads faces were a picture. Anyway Dick Head had been having rough time of it lately with his girlfriend. After a few holes I just remarked " i hope he manages to sort it out with his Missis".
He said quote " I am only keeping her sweet til she has the abortion and then she's history, ave already started seeing her Bessie mate". How I never knocked his head off his shoulders I don't know. I was seething with the insensitive prat. One of the other lads overheard what he said and never spoke to him for the rest of the round.
i beat him on count back with 35 points and he left a putt over the hole on the 17th.

 

[JustOne]

To be honest I'd rather play with a 'potty mouth' who brags about his life than some obnoxious, stuck up his own bum, nitwit who thinks golf owes him something and is too far above your station to even be friendly.

 

[jdpjamesp]

IHe never shuts up about himself, just going on and on about how much money he has, houses he owns, women he's slept with, things he's done with prostitutes, scores he's supposedly posted, and shots he's apparently pulled-off. He really is a vile human being, and the swine makes my skin crawl. He just doesn't shut up, and it's the sort of stuff you'd hear in a Bangkok bar, probably where he met his Thai Bride, never mind on an English golf course! It's not when the conversation arises when he reveals his sexual exploits either, it's just his natural conversation, and I have to say that I was close to chucking-up my breakfast on a tee-box last week. You just don't want it.

I suppose the only consolation is that most of it is probably a lie and he actually sits at home, lonely, eating cheesos and watching "motoring" programs on TV.

 

[Fish]

This is getting a bit like Through the Keyhole, but where is it and who could it be :mmm:

:smirk:

 

[Slab]

This is getting a bit like Through the Keyhole, but where is it and who could it be :mmm:

:smirk:

Who plays on a course like this... remember the clues are there!

.... So, he's a 24-carat plonker, weirdo, and sexual-deviant, has zero etiquette, causes physical damage to the course, manipulates his handicap, and cheats. Could there be anyone worse, I'd really like to hear it?

Continuing the Through the Keyhole theme this could apply to quite a few celebrities!

 

[tsped83]

Say something.

This. A bit of a no brainer isn't it?

 

[Hobbit]

Say something.

This. A bit of a no brainer isn't it?

Don't abdicate your responsibility to the club and its members by running off to the Captain. Deal with the bad behaviour when it happens.

 

[BoadieBroadus]

every club has at least one of these...

if you think yours doesn't.... then its you!

 

[tsped83]

Don't abdicate your responsibility to the club and its members by running off to the Captain. Deal with the bad behaviour when it happens.

That's what I meant. Say it to the culprit immediately. If he's a knob, duly tell him so.

 

[bobmac]

That's what I meant. Say it to the culprit immediately. If he's a knob, duly tell him so.

Not easy if he's a 6'7'' South African bank manager

 

[Ethan]

Look, nobody else want to say it so I will. You would be doing the world a service if you clobbered this guy with a sand wedge, and buried his body in that soft area behind the 5th green.




























NB. Golf Monthly does not condone murder, even a dislikable muppet like this.

 

[rksquire]

Sounds like a personality defect, needs an arm round the shoulder and a quick explanation of if he reeled himself in he might have a few more willing playing partners. Bell ends everywhere though, comes with the territory... even on tour I'm sure!

 

[RollinThunder]

I had no idea they were so many people like him, I honestly thought he was some sort of one-off . I agree with Green Bay Hacker, it's like he doesn't know how to act around people he doesn't know, and treats people he doesn't know like his mates.

Either way, I'm refusing to play with him from now on, even though I must admit that I always play well when I'm with him. The last two times I've drew him I've got a cut .

There are half-a-dozen people who are also boycotting him, so he'll soon find out that he's not wanted. I think that's why he latches onto who he can, just to get himself a game. As for confronting him, he's a bell-end through and through, and I don't want to play with him, because he makes my skin crawl. I don't want to change him, and possibly mould him into someone that's bearable to play with, I want to avoid him, as other members do. Like the saying goes, you can't polish a turd, and giving him a talking to about his etiquette, may sort his golf out, but it won't stop him being a disgusting creature.

The good news is that he's moving abroad soon, I've heard from a source, and as to where, my bet's Thailand. Mr Dudley and Ting Tong from Little Britain is what he's like, the similarities are there. Would you wan't him in your four-ball? :sbox:

 

[woody69]

I think I've found the most annoying, disgusting, and horrible creature to have ever played golf.

Quite a few adjectives in that opening sentence. So it's safe to say, you don't really like him.

At my club, a lot of the members roll-up at the same time at weekends for a comp, and it looks like he's found out when there's a few of us there, so he can latch onto someone and get himself a game. No sane person would want to play with him, so he has to play with anyone he can, whether they like it or not. We were teeing-off, and he shouted over, in the middle of my swing, to ask if he could join us, and against the judgement of myself and another player in our 3-ball, the third member agreed, who didn't know how he was, so it was very difficult to say no.

No it isn't. "No", there I just said it. "Sorry I don't want to be a dick about it, and no hard feelings but I don't want to play as a 4-ball"

The next day, at the same time, we had a random draw for the groups, and us being the last group, he turned up late, so he joined my 3-ball again. Twice in two days I drew this sod, and the only thing stopping me from walking off was the belief that I shouldn't allow him to ruin my day, so I gritted my teeth and carried on.

Well that's a start. He may be a bellend, but it's quite easy to ignore someone on a golf course. There is lots of room out there.

He never shuts up about himself, just going on and on about how much money he has, houses he owns, women he's slept with, things he's done with prostitutes, scores he's supposedly posted, and shots he's apparently pulled-off. He really is a vile human being, and the swine makes my skin crawl. He just doesn't shut up, and it's the sort of stuff you'd hear in a Bangkok bar, probably where he met his Thai Bride, never mind on an English golf course! It's not when the conversation arises when he reveals his sexual exploits either, it's just his natural conversation, and I have to say that I was close to chucking-up my breakfast on a tee-box last week. You just don't want it.

So here's a novel idea. Say something. You say, "I'm really not interested in hearing about your sexual exploits to be honest.


Saying that, I would be interested to know what someone can say that makes you want to throw up.

His etiquette is also non-existent. He always talks when people are putting,

So stop and say, can you be quiet please

and rather than just taking his ball and the flag, he just gloats about himself and his performance, such as how many points he got for that hole, how he read it right, how his putting is doing at the moment, and all sorts of other selfish rubbish.

And? Hardly worth getting upset about a little narcissism. Quite easy to ignore.

He thinks nothing of shouting and balling when people are taking their swings too.

So tell him at the time. STOP TALKING IN MY BACKSWING. It's not difficult. I'm sure he would start to get it by the 2nd or 3rd time of being told.

When he takes a flagstick out, he always throws it across the green, and I've seen this damage a green.

So say something. "Don't throw the flag you'll damage the green". Again, by the 2nd or 3rd time he'll start to catch on.

For some reason, he insists on having a cart, and drives it like a total bell-end. He always skids on fairways, never keeps to paths, and last week, he ran over someone in our group's ball. The worst thing was is that all three of us saw him do it, and he still tried to deny it, which was ridiculous!

Maybe he has a medical issue. Maybe he is just plain lazy, but who cares. When he is in his cart he isn't with you is he, so take in the peace. If he is supposed to stick to the paths, you can address that easily by saying "STICK TO THE PATHS". If he doesn't listen, Say you'll phone the pro shop and tell them. It's your course and want it to be in the best condition possible and not have it ruined by carts.

I've also seen him cheat. He sliced into a ditch, and then after shouting and balling to everyone about it's lie, whether he could play it, if he could get a drop, right in the middle of someone else's swing. When he finished, he claimed a 7, which was a convenient 7 for 1 for him, even though I counted him having 6 shots before he even hit the green. Everybody was so fed-up with him by this stage, and he was in no position to win the comp, so we left it.

Well that was a BIG mistake. You call him out on it there and then and count through the shots. You don't have to be confrontational, you just say, hang on it was 1 off the tee, then iron from blah blah etc up to, 7 on to green then putt for 8?

Before a round, he was gloating about his handicap going up, and was genuinely happy that this is happening. He said that he needs more chances to win comps, so he needs his handicap to go up, and was happy that he's "getting shots back". This is something that would really get some other member's blood boiling, as there is nothing worse than a cheat.

Someone's handicap going up doesn't make them a cheat. If he was doing it to cheat he wouldn't be calling 7 for 1 as he did in your last sentence would he? Perhaps he feels he can't ever play to his existing handicap and the extra shot may make him more competitive. That doesn't make him a cheat.

He really is a foul excuse of a golfer, and for someone to act like he does on a golf course is just disgraceful .

Yep, we got that.

I was talking with the pro, and after stating that myself and another member are refusing to play with him, the pro mentioned that we aren't alone. He's only an associate member, so pays a green-fee to play in a comp, so I don't even think the committee are in a position to reprimand him.

Is that fact he is "only an associate member" a problem here? Either way, of course the committee can reprimand him.

I'll be having a word with the captain about him when I next see him, and hopefully something will be done, as his behaviour as seen by myself and other members was terrible, and for an undeserving golfer to be paired-up with him is unfair. I think he should be asked to leave the club, but it would need substantial complaints, and committee backing, and most people don't want to get involved.

You included it seems. How about you just speak to the guy yourself instead of hiding behind the captain? You don't have to be rude or confrontational.

So, he's a 24-carat plonker, weirdo, and sexual-deviant, has zero etiquette, causes physical damage to the course, manipulates his handicap, and cheats. Could there be anyone worse, I'd really like to hear it?

Weirdo and Sexual deviant? Are you 12 years old? You don't like him, and you don't like playing with him but people should speak up at the time rather than letting his behaviour go unchallenged.

 

[Jates12]

Quite a few adjectives in that opening sentence. So it's safe to say, you don't really like him.





No it isn't. "No", there I just said it. "Sorry I don't want to be a dick about it, and no hard feelings but I don't want to play as a 4-ball"







Well that's a start. He may be a bellend, but it's quite easy to ignore someone on a golf course. There is lots of room out there.





So here's a novel idea. Say something. You say, "I'm really not interested in hearing about your sexual exploits to be honest.


Saying that, I would be interested to know what someone can say that makes you want to throw up.





So stop and say, can you be quiet please





And? Hardly worth getting upset about a little narcissism. Quite easy to ignore.







So tell him at the time. STOP TALKING IN MY BACKSWING. It's not difficult. I'm sure he would start to get it by the 2nd or 3rd time of being told.





So say something. "Don't throw the flag you'll damage the green". Again, by the 2nd or 3rd time he'll start to catch on.





Maybe he has a medical issue. Maybe he is just plain lazy, but who cares. When he is in his cart he isn't with you is he, so take in the peace. If he is supposed to stick to the paths, you can address that easily by saying "STICK TO THE PATHS". If he doesn't listen, Say you'll phone the pro shop and tell them. It's your course and want it to be in the best condition possible and not have it ruined by carts.





Well that was a BIG mistake. You call him out on it there and then and count through the shots. You don't have to be confrontational, you just say, hang on it was 1 off the tee, then iron from blah blah etc up to, 7 on to green then putt for 8?





Someone's handicap going up doesn't make them a cheat. If he was doing it to cheat he wouldn't be calling 7 for 1 as he did in your last sentence would he? Perhaps he feels he can't ever play to his existing handicap and the extra shot may make him more competitive. That doesn't make him a cheat.





Yep, we got that.





Is that fact he is "only an associate member" a problem here? Either way, of course the committee can reprimand him.





You included it seems. How about you just speak to the guy yourself instead of hiding behind the captain? You don't have to be rude or confrontational.





Weirdo and Sexual deviant? Are you 12 years old? You don't like him, and you don't like playing with him but people should speak up at the time rather than letting his behaviour go unchallenged.

Wow, but This.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

If he's really that obnoxious it seems you have two choices. Say something face to face or don't play with him (which might still happen if he cops a strop)

 

[Sats]

Not easy if he's a 6'7'' South African bank manager

Even more reason to tell the Mod Edit , grow a set, 6'7'' doesn't mean he can't be told to Mod Edit

 

[Fish]

Not easy if he's a 6'7'' South African bank manager

Headbut him in the gonads :smirk:

 

[Craigg]

I suppose the only consolation is that most of it is probably a lie and he actually sits at home, lonely, eating cheesos and watching "motoring" programs on TV.

 

[Smiffy]

I suppose the only consolation is that most of it is probably a lie and he actually sits at home, lonely, eating cheesos and watching "motoring" programs on TV.

Like that bloke who went to the doctor complaining that his tadger had turned orange.
When asked how he passed his time he said he sat viewing you porn eating "Wotsits" all day.