Smacking children, should you do it.

[Fish]

And so you shouldnt be able to adopt - sorry but you told them you raise your hand to a child - no sane adoption agency is ever going to let you adopt after saying that.

Obviously there is an age/past times opinion on this, I’ve not read all the posts, but I can tell you from someone who was fostered and moved around from home (or family) to Home then eventually adopted, smacking & beatings was rife in the 60’s & 70’s on adopted children who weren’t adopted as babies and had troubled times being on the gravy train at fostered homes, who were in the main, but not always, the most kind, supportive and loving people you’d want to stay with, but for their own reasons, only wanted to be foster families.

But the constant upheaval of being settled for a few months or years only then to be passed on led to many difficult and different rules and smacking to imbed those rules was always the first course of punishment.

Smacking solves nothing, those that say it never did them any harm obviously thinks it’s ok to smack a child themself, well it isn’t, period!

If you can’t converse with you’re child, then you’ve failed, and smackingnor beating that child will change nothing, and of anything, will only cause further divides and resentment in years to come.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Because that's your opinion, but the experts at the time thought otherwise. As stated which you must of read, we told the adoption agency that if we were not allowed to smack our children ( should we feel the need) then we were more than happy to walk away.
Phil you have had children for a year, I am talking about 20 years ago. The daughter I adopted had, burns on her body, brain shaking and a fractured knee within two weeks of being born. There is a differance between that and a potential smack.

You may help youself if you give an initial timeline.

Sorry but that potential smack can cause harm and pain to a child , you dont know the pain thresholds of the child , you dont know the level of force that a child needs before they feel pain. Thankfully the world has moved on from 20 years ago and those dark ages arent tolerated anymore, violence always disgusts me - most of the time its an act of a coward , even more so when its against a child , someone physical smaller and weaker than them.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Anyone thinking that kids today are more badly behaved is deluded. It's rose tinted glasses and memory time. I remember seeing a page of quotes similar to the Socrates one posted earlier. They were stated by historical figures through the ages, around 200-300 years apart between each one. All on the same theme. Kids 'today' are all ruder, less considerate, less intelligent, poorer behaved, so on and so on. Apparently it's been the same for over 2,000 years 😁. Not sure when the golden era of kids behaviour was?

 

[Blue in Munich]

Anyone thinking that kids today are more badly behaved is deluded. It's rose tinted glasses and memory time. I remember seeing a page of quotes similar to the Socrates one posted earlier. They were stated by historical figures through the ages, around 200-300 years apart between each one. All on the same theme. Kids 'today' are all ruder, less considerate, less intelligent, poorer behaved, so on and so on. Apparently it's been the same for over 2,000 years 😁. Not sure when the golden era of kids behaviour was?

Kids in my day with a beef might have settled it between themselves with a punch up, but that was all it was. Now "dissing" someone leads to things being settled with knives. But kids aren't more badly behaved these days... Jeez.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Kids in my day with a beef might have settled it between themselves with a punch up, but that was all it was. Now "dissing" someone leads to things being settled with knives. But kids aren't more badly behaved these days... Jeez.

The knife problem is a current spike and largely limited to certain parts of London. Worrying but not a nation wide problem at this moment. In the last 40-50 years there were mods and rockers fighting with knives, flick knives came about, skinheads with knives. Knives are not a new problem. Luckily, as a country we largely suppress spikes in knife crime.

The back in my day angle is a slightly romantic view. That may have been the case in your area, in another region it may have been settled by knives still. You didn't see it but it doesn't mean it didn't happen. It just didn't happen near you so you don't think it occurred. Very little is new, few problems are original.

 

[Fish]

The knife problem is a current spike and largely limited to certain parts of London. Worrying but not a nation wide problem at this moment. In the last 40-50 years there were mods and rockers fighting with knives, flick knives came about, skinheads with knives. Knives are not a new problem. Luckily, as a country we largely suppress spikes in knife crime.

Tell that to the 3 teenagers families that have lost ‘children’ or young men to knife crime in my city in the last week, then factor Birmingham and other cities into that OUTSIDE of London, and you have a National problem. You are deluded and blinkered if you think it’s isolated to any degree to inner London!!

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I don't think it is isolated to London but the current spike is predominantly London based. Any knife crime and deaths are tragic. I would never and did not suggest otherwise.

 

[Blue in Munich]

The knife problem is a current spike and largely limited to certain parts of London. Worrying but not a nation wide problem at this moment. In the last 40-50 years there were mods and rockers fighting with knives, flick knives came about, skinheads with knives. Knives are not a new problem. Luckily, as a country we largely suppress spikes in knife crime.

The back in my day angle is a slightly romantic view. That may have been the case in your area, in another region it may have been settled by knives still. You didn't see it but it doesn't mean it didn't happen. It just didn't happen near you so you don't think it occurred. Very little is new, few problems are original.

Mods & Rockers and Skinheads aren't kids, they're grown adults. This thread is about kids behaviour.

Lived & worked in the same general area as a police officer. Thanks for your advice about what I did and didn't see, what I did & didn't know occurred and what I did & didn't think happened; I started my career with nothing more than a cotton shirt and a truncheon as protection and was never concerned about dealing with kids, I finished it with a stab proof vest, CS spray and a friction lock baton as protection and a great deal of concern when dealing with kids. But nothing's changed, it's all a romantic figment of my imagination...

Fish is right, you are blinkered and deluded.

 

[TheDiablo]

Mods & Rockers and Skinheads aren't kids, they're grown adults. This thread is about kids behaviour.

Lived & worked in the same general area as a police officer. Thanks for your advice about what I did and didn't see, what I did & didn't know occurred and what I did & didn't think happened; I started my career with nothing more than a cotton shirt and a truncheon as protection and was never concerned about dealing with kids, I finished it with a stab proof vest, CS spray and a friction lock baton as protection and a great deal of concern when dealing with kids. But nothing's changed, it's all a romantic figment of my imagination...

Fish is right, you are blinkered and deluded.

The thread is actually about smacking a child and the rights and wrongs associated with it. Serious question - Do you think if kids had been smacked growing up they'd be more or less prone to committing violent crime?

Knife crime is a whole different topic, and a very adult, social problem that has been around for generations, and despite a current spike and media driven agenda remains lower than it was 10 years ago. Nothing to do kids or with smacking a child or not. 4 in 5 stabbings are committed by adults. 1 in 6 surgeries as a result of knife crime are on children. Thesd in itself are of course far too high and undoubtedly tragic, but knife crime isn't a new inner city kids problem made in the last 10 years and to allude to it as such is fantastically incorrect.

 

[Tashyboy]

Mods & Rockers and Skinheads aren't kids, they're grown adults. This thread is about kids behaviour.

Lived & worked in the same general area as a police officer. Thanks for your advice about what I did and didn't see, what I did & didn't know occurred and what I did & didn't think happened; I started my career with nothing more than a cotton shirt and a truncheon as protection and was never concerned about dealing with kids, I finished it with a stab proof vest, CS spray and a friction lock baton as protection and a great deal of concern when dealing with kids. But nothing's changed, it's all a romantic figment of my imagination...

Fish is right, you are blinkered and deluded.

Without sounding like the four Yorkshiremen in faulty towers. You had it good. 😘 Daughter who is in the police walks around with a glock and H and K mp5. She was on the Ross kemp show last week for a few seconds. Listening to kids as young as 12 walking around with guns. Not good. Might take more than a raised eyebrow to sort them out.

 

[USER1999]

Heck, if you can't smack kids, who can you smack?

 

[Deleted member 18121]

Ok, so your child misbehaves to the point that you smack them.... They turn around and hit you back. Then what? You hit them again harder this time so they know who is boss?

Violence breeds violence, your children learn directly from you. Don't teach them that violence is ok.

 

[USER1999]

I don't have kids. Not really my thing.

 

[Pin-seeker]

I got the odd smack as a child,but never felt the need to smack my child.
Some kids definitely need firmer parenting tho imo.

 

[Deleted Member 1156]

You know there is proven links between violence towards children and those children growing up to commit violent crime?

Have you got any more feet left to shoot?!

You clearly don't understand the difference between violence and discipline.

 

[Kellfire]

You clearly don't understand the difference between violence and discipline.

Agreed.

I think smacking children can be appropriate on rare occasions.

But NOTHING I would ever advocate could be referred to as violence.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Agreed.

I think smacking children can be appropriate on rare occasions.

But NOTHING I would ever advocate could be referred to as violence.

Does the kid know the difference? and if so, at what age?

 

[Don Barzini]

There is plenty of evidence, just try a quick google search. Knife crime at record levels, do you think these crimes are being carried out by us 'silver surfers' or perhaps more likely teens and 20 somethings? God forbid if someone pulls a knife on you in the street but good luck trying to reason with them.

Knife crime is obviously an issue.

I'm not sure I buy the argument that it's on the rise because children nowadays aren't smacked though.

 

[Crazyface]

I have never smacked either of my sons, now 32 and 24. One is a Liverpool supporter and one a Manchester United supporter. The prosecution rests !

 

[Deleted member 15344]

Agreed.

I think smacking children can be appropriate on rare occasions.

But NOTHING I would ever advocate could be referred to as violence.

I’m struggling to ever see an occasion where I will see smacking a child as an appropriate reaction so can you please highlight one where it’s a justified reaction for a grown adult to raise your hand to a child ?