Smacking children, should you do it.

My father was a strict disciplinarian a product no doubt from his father who was a professional Soldier and fought in both world wars. my bother and i both felt the broom on our behinds on more than one occasion. didn't have any long lasting damage TBH. we knew not cross the line, same at School a major deterrent. we were both very well behaved on the whole as the threat of the Cane was ever looming.
 
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patricks148 said:
My father was a strict disciplinarian a product no doubt from his father who was a professional Soldier and fought in both world wars. my bother and i both felt the broom on our behinds on more than one occasion. didn't have any long lasting damage TBH. we knew not cross the line, same at School a major deterrent. we were both very well behaved on the whole as the treat of the Cane was ever looming.
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Oooh you enjoyed it did you! Naughty boy! ;)
 
drive4show said:
How old is your daughter now Phil? Wait till she gets to about 4 or 5 and really starts trying to push your boundaries ;)

And like I said in an earlier post, I really don't think ANYONE is advocating inflicting pain or a beating on a child. A smack isn't pain, it is more of a 'shock' therapy to make a child realise that they have reached the limit. Once you start inflicting pain it is no longer a smack.
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What you’re saying makes sense, but how do you legislate for that? Who decides when a smack is painful, you or the child?
 
Don Barzini said:
Oooh you enjoyed it did you! Naughty boy! ;)
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i was never caned, it was a great deterrent for me. the though of having your bare arse on show to the whole school, while it was caned was enough to deter me from bad behavior, though had the odd piece of chalk or board rubber thrown at me
 
pauldj42 said:
What you’re saying makes sense, but how do you legislate for that? Who decides when a smack is painful, you or the child?
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I guess it comes down to common sense......unfortunately a significant percentage of the population have little or none of that commodity!
 
Lord Tyrion said:
Disagree. You are hitting someone, plain and simple. You are showing, as an adult, that hitting someone is an acceptable option. If you show a child that then how do you expect them to react next time they are confronted with a problem with another child?
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Depends on the situation. My youngest was getting a hard time from one of his class mates - mental bullying rather than physical. We took it to the school but it continued as his teacher at the time was weak. So I basically told my son that he had my permission to thump this lad if he wanted to if he was getting to him. Fortunately he didn't have to as he eventually got a teacher who agreed with us and did something about it.

Sometimes standing up for yourself and being physical is the only way to deal with a problem. Where I grew up you had to otherwise you were an easy target.

Re. smacking, I can remember being smacked by both my mum and dad as a child. Did I deserve it? Yes I did. Did they feel bad about it? Yes I would think so. Do I feel or think less of them for smacking me? Of course not - I had a brilliant childhood and they are/were both fantastic parents. But the phrase "wait until your dad gets home" was all I needed to ensure that I stepped back into line pdq

Have I smacked my kids? Yes I have - but only in my own home when they've been fighting with each other. With 2 very active and physical boys, telling them to stop fighting / being rude/abusive / misbehaving, and then threatening to take their gadgets away or trying to reason with them just doesn't work. Did I feel bad about smacking them? Absolutely. Am I any less of a parent? Of course not - I love my boys to bits and I am proud how they are growing up; they are kind and considerate to others, polite and well mannered.
 
patricks148 said:
i was never caned, it was a great deterrent for me. the though of having your bare arse on show to the whole school, while it was caned was enough to deter me from bad behavior, though had the odd piece of chalk or board rubber thrown at me
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Exactly the same for me at school.....it was a serious deterrent. Having a parent say "Now then, lets talk about why you kicked that kid in the nuts" is hardly a deterrent.
 
PieMan said:
Depends on the situation. My youngest was getting a hard time from one of his class mates - mental bullying rather than physical. We took it to the school but it continued as his teacher at the time was weak. So I basically told my son that he had my permission to thump this lad if he wanted to if he was getting to him. Fortunately he didn't have to as he eventually got a teacher who agreed with us and did something about it.

Sometimes standing up for yourself and being physical is the only way to deal with a problem. Where I grew up you had to otherwise you were an easy target.

Re. smacking, I can remember being smacked by both my mum and dad as a child. Did I deserve it? Yes I did. Did they feel bad about it? Yes I would think so. Do I feel or think less of them for smacking me? Of course not - I had a brilliant childhood and they are/were both fantastic parents. But the phrase "wait until your dad gets home" was all I needed to ensure that I stepped back into line pdq

Have I smacked my kids? Yes I have - but only in my own home when they've been fighting with each other. With 2 very active and physical boys, telling them to stop fighting / being rude/abusive / misbehaving, and then threatening to take their gadgets away or trying to reason with them just doesn't work. Did I feel bad about smacking them? Absolutely. Am I any less of a parent? Of course not - I love my boys to bits and I am proud how they are growing up; they are kind and considerate to others, polite and well mannered.
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Spot on Paul, this thread can be closed now as far as I'm concerned :thup:
 
drive4show said:
I guess it comes down to common sense......unfortunately a significant percentage of the population have little or none of that commodity!
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I see the issue more with babies and at what age smacking starts, the debate has moved on to school age and bullying.
A lot of us on here grew up in a different time when society was more accepting of physical punishment.
 
Captainron said:
I do not have an issue with smacking when it is deserved.
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Again thats the deeper issue - I dont think physical punishment is correct for something a child has done wrong.

Maybe thats the way the next phase of this discussion could go..... for those that are ok with a little clip, smack etc what kind of wrong doing do you think is justifiable for a smack?
 
Flippin Eck. My posts usually last about four comments.
Found D4S comments interesting, in essence kids are worse at school now, than when we were kids. But as has been mentioned the cane was a deterrent in the olden days.
Me and Missis T were approved for adoption and in our last meeting I mentioned I had smacked my son. They picked up on it and said " sorry we cannot let you adopt, you might have a child placed in you care who has been physically abused" Missis T said " no problems you can shove your adoption". She also pointed out we could have a child that has been sexually assaulted and that assault started with a cuddle, something we give our kids every night. Are we to now stop cuddling our kids when they go to bed at night.
I don't think there is a fine line between a smack and physical violence. Ironically the birth mother of adopted daughter then sent a letter with 20 questions one of which said " do you smack you children". Let me tell you if she had been in that room when I read it, there would of been violence. With the injuries her daughter suffered before she was taken into care. She had some balls to ask that question.
I mentioned smacking to Missis T, she recalled an incident in Tycross Zoo years ago. A mother chimpanzee was trying to settle its baby chimp in its straw bed. The baby was proper playing up wanting to play. Mother gave it a clout on its backside. Baby squealed and me and Missis Ts jaws just hit the floor. It was astonishing to see. But it worked .
Re policing it indoors, cannot see how you can, but said woman on telly when asked " if you see a child in a supermarket get a smack for being naughty, what would you do if the law has banned smacking". She said " I would ask the parent, can I help you". Am sure that would help.
 
Interesting subject, ever thought that if you are withholding PlayStations or stopping them going out or making children sit on a naughty chair is mental abuse, which it clearly is. Just as smacking is physically abuse apparently......

I have no issues with smacking when needed and clearly of the suitable level, better than having to learn life in the police station due to lack of respect of the 'rules' of life.
 
SocketRocket said:
Jimmy, sit on the naughty step.
No!
Jimmy, sit on the naughty step.
No!
Jimmy, sit on the naughty step.
No!
Jimmy, sit on the naughty step.
No!

Now let that be a lesson to you Jimmy.
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Been there, but persevered, it has taken about 2 hours to end a 3 minute spell on the naughty matt before, but it does work! Patience works, you give up after 3 attempts you will fail.

I would say my kids are pretty good, but they do push the boundaries and i think they are at there worst for this around 4-6yrs.
 
pauldj42 said:
I see the issue more with babies and at what age smacking starts, the debate has moved on to school age and bullying.
A lot of us on here grew up in a different time when society was more accepting of physical punishment.
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I think that is the crux of it. Previous generations didn't know the potential harm it can cause and there's no way anyone can blame them.

However, it's all well and good all of the older 'it didnt do me any harm' generation on here saying 'it worked for me' and not having an issue with it. But in reality you should consider yourselves fortunate to not have been negatively effected by it.

Even putting my moral compass aside for a second, scientific research studies have shown there are no benefits to smacking children - it doesnt result in 'learning' better/different behaviours, yet it has conclusively been linked to slower development, increased aggression, mental health, depression, substance abuse etc. All things that are right at the fore of society in 2018.

No benefits, lots of negatives and morally questionable.

As a parent it feels as if every decision you make around raising children is judged and therefore I am loathed to judge any parent, but physical discipline to a powerless child is something I'll never be on board with.
 
Tashyboy said:
in essence kids are worse at school now, than when we were kids.
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"The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room."

- Socrates, 470-399 BC
 
pokerjoke said:
Again lazy parenting,talk to your kids
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You mean lazy posting by you IMHO

Did you think about actually adding something to the thread or perhaps replying to my first sentence or do you think it is just rubbish ? You did not even ask how many times I have smacked my son, but by all means you judge away :lol: :wink: :)
 
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