Smacking children, should you do it.

I know mate, but as I’ve tried to show, last resort is when people are at their wits end and over react.
 
I’ve never properly smacked any of my 3 girls, but have given them a clip round the ear on occasion, mostly if they were doing something stupid like playing with matches or if I thought they weren’t listening to what I was saying when being told off.

I was smacked as a kid , probably deserved it,

As long as kids have guidelines and know the consequences of overstepping then proper smacking isn’t necessary
 
Discipline is one thing, abusing a child is totally different. If people cannot draw the line then they probably shouldn't be raising children in the first place.

Do I think kids are worse behaved now compared to when I was one.....yes I do and the stories my (teacher) girlfriend tells me every evening confirm that.
 
My dad never hit me but he did ground me a lot.
No games consoles etc in them days so solitary in my bedroom was not nice.
On the fence re smacking , never hit mine but they were quite well behaved .
I do wince when I see grown men / women hitting children so maybe falling on banning side.
 
drive4show said:
No you're not....beating a child is violence but a clip on the behind isn't.
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Disagree. You are hitting someone, plain and simple. You are showing, as an adult, that hitting someone is an acceptable option. If you show a child that then how do you expect them to react next time they are confronted with a problem with another child?
 
Lord Tyrion said:
Disagree. You are hitting someone, plain and simple. You are showing, as an adult, that hitting someone is an acceptable option. If you show a child that then how do you expect them to react next time they are confronted with a problem with another child?
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Fine...you have your opinion and I'll have mine.
 
Both my daughters received a smack across the back of their legs on the veryrare occasion. Didn’t harm them,and they don’t feel harmed or damaged now.
I don’t see a problem with use of a slap for proportionate behaviour, reasoning with a toddler isn’t possible in my mind.
 
Smacking is simply a quick fix, a means for the parent to get a 'result' quickly. Short term gain for the parent, with overwhelming evidence pointing to potential for long term harm for the child. It's often a reflection of the current state of mind of the parent rather than the actions of the child (bad day at work, personal issues, money worries etc)

'Punish' a child by smacking? - well guess what happens next time they are in a social situation where they have the upper hand power wise but aren't necessarily getting what they want - they use something they have learnt from authority - violence.

I personally can't imagine a scenario whereby it would be acceptable for me or my wife to punish our child physically. As my view is that children shouldn't be smacked, then if it were to happen in my life as a parent I would consider myself to be entirely at fault.
 
Liverbirdie said:
Ban parents smacking their children, but ok for strangers/neighbours/other family members to do it though. :)
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My uncles young son was messing about in a park...chasing pigeons absolutely nothing serious but not taking any notice of his parents telling him to stop...a stranger decided to stop him and smacked him on the arm. My uncle then got hold of his son, smacked him, made him go and sit with his mum and then turned and decked the stranger.
 
Love the comments where people say "it never did me no harm" yes it did it made you an argumentative ----t.
TheDiablo said:
Smacking is simply a quick fix, a means for the parent to get a 'result' quickly. Short term gain for the parent, with overwhelming evidence pointing to potential for long term harm for the child. It's often a reflection of the current state of mind of the parent rather than the actions of the child (bad day at work, personal issues, money worries etc)

'Punish' a child by smacking? - well guess what happens next time they are in a social situation where they have the upper hand power wise but aren't necessarily getting what they want - they use something they have learnt from authority - violence.

I personally can't imagine a scenario whereby it would be acceptable for me or my wife to punish our child physically. As my view is that children shouldn't be smacked, then if it were to happen in my life as a parent I would consider myself to be entirely at fault.
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Spot on.
Weak parent syndrome
 
Absolutely not. You might achieve a short term result - but you have no idea what long term harm might result - something I have personal experience of, and that did not come out until doing some serious self-investigation and reflection over the last few years.

Others might look at me and my life and say I've done pretty well, that I've got it pretty good and have all my life - that I am lucky to have the wife and family I have. Well all of that might well be (and is) true - and so on the surface the strict regime I was brought up in and that others know nothing of might not seem to have done me any harm - but they do not know of my largely hidden personal struggles as teenager and as an adult - they cannot see inside my head.

Fortunately today I have come to recognise the issues from my past and accept them and forgive...but do not be mistaken - 'it never did me any harm' might be OK for some - but it does not apply for all - and we are talking here of laws that must apply for all.
 
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I’m new to all this parenting lark but I can never ever see any situation that will justify inflicting any sort of physical pain in my own child - there is nothing she can do that will make me think that I’m going to give you a little slap. Im sure there will be plenty of times when she will test my patience but smacking ? Nope never , I would hope Society is Past that now. If it ever got to the stage of hitting then I wold have lost respect for myself and any respect for my little girl.
 
SwingsitlikeHogan said:
Absolutely not. You might achieve a short term result - but you have no idea what long term harm might result - something I have personal experience of, and that did not come out until doing some serious self-investigation and reflection over the last few years.

Others might look at me and my life and say I've done pretty well, that I've got it pretty good and have all my life - that I am lucky to have the wife and family I have. Well all of that might well be (and is) true - and so on the surface the strict regime I was brought up in and that others know nothing of might not seem to have done me any harm - but they do not know of my largely hidden personal struggles as teenager and as an adult - they cannot see inside my head.

Fortunately today I have come to recognise the issues from my past and accept them and forgive...but do not be mistaken - 'it never did me any harm' might be OK for some - but it does not apply for all - and we are talking here of laws that must apply for all.
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I cant know of course but that sounds a fair bit more serious than a smack
 
Liverpoolphil said:
I’m new to all this parenting lark but I can never ever see any situation that will justify inflicting any sort of physical pain in my own child - there is nothing she can do that will make me think that I’m going to give you a little slap. Im sure there will be plenty of times when she will test my patience but smacking ? Nope never , I would hope Society is Past that now. If it ever got to the stage of hitting then I wold have lost respect for myself and any respect for my little girl.
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How old is your daughter now Phil? Wait till she gets to about 4 or 5 and really starts trying to push your boundaries ;)

And like I said in an earlier post, I really don't think ANYONE is advocating inflicting pain or a beating on a child. A smack isn't pain, it is more of a 'shock' therapy to make a child realise that they have reached the limit. Once you start inflicting pain it is no longer a smack.
 
drive4show said:
A smack isn't pain, it is more of a 'shock' therapy to make a child realise that they have reached the limit. Once you start inflicting pain it is no longer a smack.
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that's where I think the lines blur for people - for me I see that as the parent making an excuse for being allowed to physically abuse their child, in my eyes no matter how you dress it up it is a physical attack and I personally would never do it. But to a lot of people it is "normal" and ok because thats how they were bought up.
 
Slab said:
I cant know of course but that sounds a fair bit more serious than a smack
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Yes - it was in time more than a little smack - but not at first it wasn't. And it was pretty rare. Though I have no evidence I can cite, I suspect that the nature of my father's discipline was little different to that applied by the fathers of many working class West of Scotland families in the 1960s and early 1970s. It was tough (and I was quite a tough wee lad) - it did not feel fair - it did not seem to damage - but I suspect that it did. My thinking is simply that from little smacks do bigger issues grow.
 
Smacking a child just shows you're all out of ideas on how to discipline them correctly. And I include myself in that because I've smacked my kids a couple of times. Each time, I was at the end of my tether and I lost control. Felt absolutely awful about it afterwards and have sworn to myself I will never do it again.

Have they been little sods since? Of course they have, so it was no deterrent. What did they learn? That daddy is bigger and stronger than they are and can inflict physical pain on them if he wants to. Nice lesson.

If you smack anyone else in an attempt to discipline them, you can be had up for assault. Why, therefore, anyone should consider it acceptable to smack a child is beyond me.
 
SwingsitlikeHogan said:
Yes - it was in time more than a little smack - but not at first it wasn't. And it was pretty rare. Though I have no evidence I can cite, I suspect that the nature of my father's discipline was little different to that applied by the fathers of many working class West of Scotland families in the 1960s and early 1970s. It was tough (and I was quite a tough wee lad) - it did not feel fair - it did not seem to damage - but I suspect that it did. My thinking is simply that from little smacks do bigger issues grow.
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So what long term damage do you think this has had on you?
 
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