New Parent .... How much Golf?
- Thread starter Depreston
- Start date
phillarrow
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2022
- Messages
- 513
I had a total break when my kids were born...for 12 years!!! 
I wasn't playing golf when my kids came along, I played club hockey. I soon realised that committing to play every week was not fair on my wife. An injury came along and made the decision very easy. I stopped soon after, took up golf the following year
The joy of golf is that you choose when you play, how long you play for. You might go from playing twice a week to twice a month, or 18 holes regularly to 9 holes occassionally. Work out what is best for you and your other half. You do need to keep doing your own thing, having your own hobbies but equally your life is going to change, that's life with kids.
One thing to remember when your mates are ribbing you about missing golf, having kids is brilliant. You don't want to be living on the course, missing all the good stuff. It's a balance, good luck
The joy of golf is that you choose when you play, how long you play for. You might go from playing twice a week to twice a month, or 18 holes regularly to 9 holes occassionally. Work out what is best for you and your other half. You do need to keep doing your own thing, having your own hobbies but equally your life is going to change, that's life with kids.
One thing to remember when your mates are ribbing you about missing golf, having kids is brilliant. You don't want to be living on the course, missing all the good stuff. It's a balance, good luck
well that just won’t be happening here likeI had a total break when my kids were born...for 12 years!!!
Speaking to the guys at our club about that issue seems to be about once or twice a month depending on how understanding the mum is and also what sort of experience you have, some babies are easier than others!
My advice would be to see if there is a swap for something she likes doing?
My advice would be to see if there is a swap for something she likes doing?
phillarrow
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jan 27, 2022
- Messages
- 513
Ha ha! I don't blame you mate!
My wife worked nights, including weekend nights, so playing golf would have meant neither of us were with the kids on those days and/or spending no time together. I tried to balance it for the first year but it just didn't work, so I chose time with my kids over my hobby.
LT is right though, don't do what I did! And I mean that. I went too far, sacrificed too much, and ended up resenting some of the restrictions I had imposed on myself. I'm divorced now! With my new partner, we have a much healthier balance of our individual lives and 'together' lives and my kids (who are almost grown up now) are fine on the odd occasion when I cancel seeing them for golf.
Let her have two days off in return for a round of golf for you.
need_my_wedge
Has Now Found His Wedgie
I took a 10 year break when my wife first came to the UK, until our lad reached 8 years old, at which point he started coming with me.
I wasn't playing golf when my kids came along, I played club hockey. I soon realised that committing to play every week was not fair on my wife. An injury came along and made the decision very easy. I stopped soon after, took up golf the following year
The joy of golf is that you choose when you play, how long you play for. You might go from playing twice a week to twice a month, or 18 holes regularly to 9 holes occassionally. Work out what is best for you and your other half. You do need to keep doing your own thing, having your own hobbies but equally your life is going to change, that's life with kids.
One thing to remember when your mates are ribbing you about missing golf, having kids is brilliant. You don't want to be living on the course, missing all the good stuff. It's a balance, good luck
We had the discussion when we were trying and then when we found out... she seemed fine with once a weekend earliest slot in the comps back by 11. then the rest of the weekend i'll be available
sounds great in theory doubt it will happen though
bobmac
Major Champion
Play as much as you want and if she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is. That's what I told my last 3 ex wives
my manPlay as much as you want and if she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is. That's what I told my last 3 ex wives
Imurg
The Grinder Of Pars (Semi Crocked)
I took a year out.
Got some range sessions in to keep the swing in some sort of order
After a year we'd got into a rhythm and I was ab,e to play again...not as much as I used to though.
Got some range sessions in to keep the swing in some sort of order
After a year we'd got into a rhythm and I was ab,e to play again...not as much as I used to though.
HeftyHacker
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2020
- Messages
- 1,323
I had my first littlun in June and managed to get out at least once a week until about September time when the nights closed in.
Since then its been a little more limited as we have plans etc at the weekends but I still get out once a fortnight and to the range one evening a week at least when the littlun is down for the night.
I have an incredibly understanding partner who has seen my struggles with mental health these past couple of years and knows how much good it does me to get out in the fresh air with mates for a few hours.
It helps that shes from a golf mad family so sees it as somewhat normal that the menfolk disappear for a few hours a week to hit a small ball into a hole a long way away.
For all the lack of social interaction through wfh has impacted me mentally, I don't think I'd have played anywhere near as often had I been in the office - being able to nip downstairs and see my little girl grow through the past 8 months has been time I never could have dreamt of before the pandemic and time that I would have been trying to make up for in the evenings and weekends had i been in the office. That would have inevitably led to golf taking a back seat.
Since then its been a little more limited as we have plans etc at the weekends but I still get out once a fortnight and to the range one evening a week at least when the littlun is down for the night.
I have an incredibly understanding partner who has seen my struggles with mental health these past couple of years and knows how much good it does me to get out in the fresh air with mates for a few hours.
It helps that shes from a golf mad family so sees it as somewhat normal that the menfolk disappear for a few hours a week to hit a small ball into a hole a long way away.
For all the lack of social interaction through wfh has impacted me mentally, I don't think I'd have played anywhere near as often had I been in the office - being able to nip downstairs and see my little girl grow through the past 8 months has been time I never could have dreamt of before the pandemic and time that I would have been trying to make up for in the evenings and weekends had i been in the office. That would have inevitably led to golf taking a back seat.
Seems like a question to ask your wife rather than us lot?
I know this is football not golf but a feller on my football team has two young kids and still goes and plays football four times a week. Must have an understanding partner.
We're not quite there yet but the wife has suggested I'll be able to keep playing, maybe it'll be 18 holes every two weeks, or 9 holes early morning or something. It's give and take surely, if you spend a day playing golf, then she gets a day to herself another time?
I know this is football not golf but a feller on my football team has two young kids and still goes and plays football four times a week. Must have an understanding partner.
We're not quite there yet but the wife has suggested I'll be able to keep playing, maybe it'll be 18 holes every two weeks, or 9 holes early morning or something. It's give and take surely, if you spend a day playing golf, then she gets a day to herself another time?
SurreyGolfer
Active member
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2021
- Messages
- 174
So i'm about to be a new Dad ...
Is my golfing days over for the foreseeable
I have a (nearly) 4yr old, a 2 yr old and my wife is 39 weeks pregnant, so I feel relatively well qualified to answer this despite being a novice golfer
A few points from me:
- A lot will depend on the baby's temperament. If relatively chilled and a good sleeper/feeder, you might even be able to take the baby to the driving range for an hour or so and frame it as giving mum 'a break'. At the other end of spectrum if the baby just doesn't sleep, cries constantly and is constantly attached to Mum....tough situation to drive off and leave her to it for 4hrs!
- A lot will depend on how your partner is doing. PND is real and mood swings are not uncommon. Make sure she is out doing her hobbies/socialising as well (when she feels up to it) and she will be less likely to be resentful of you being out on the course. If you're spending Sat AM playing golf, takeover childcare Sat PM and/or give Mum a lie in on Sunday? Whoever mentioned balance, that really is key.
- I've typically found getting up at the crack of dawn and being one of the first out on the course is the way to get it done. You miss less of the 'normal' family time (back in time for Brunch), you can get round quicker, and you can still make plans for lunch/afternoon. Going out regularly at 10am on a Saturday, taking 4.5hrs to get round (my course is busy) and essentially taking up 'the whole day' just isn't feasible. Plan B for me is a range session during the lunchtime nap, or a twilight 9 holes.
- It's getting more difficult as they go from baby to toddlers/young kids. They have parties to go to, adventure playgrounds they want to visit, clubs to attend, etc. They're just generally more demanding!
I 'play' (as in a session on the range, a lesson or 9-18 holes) 0-2 times a week. Sometimes it's 0, very rarely it's 2 x 18 holes! Trick for me is to be flexible and I'm lucky that my course/range is no more than a 5min drive away!
Good luck! One is a doddle
Bdill93
Undisputed King of FOMO
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2020
- Messages
- 4,436
As a very new dad myself (Cooper born 14th Jan 22) I can safely say it takes a back seat for the first few weeks..
However
If you're as canny as me, you'll find ways to get out there still. I have played 2 18 hole rounds and 1 9 hole round since his arrival. As Surreygolfer alludes to above - getting out very early is the key at the weekend.
The summer I think will be my best friend.. 2 hours in an evening for 9 holes will be far easier to wangle than giving up 4 hours on a weekend morning.
I'm also a Villa Season Ticket Holder and only missed one game since his birth - its all possible, just manage your time well. Right now you might think you'll miss golf, but on Sunday I gave up 9 holes to clean the house so Mrs Bdill93 was less stressed! Id do that 10x over for her too, she gave me my boy!
However
If you're as canny as me, you'll find ways to get out there still. I have played 2 18 hole rounds and 1 9 hole round since his arrival. As Surreygolfer alludes to above - getting out very early is the key at the weekend.
The summer I think will be my best friend.. 2 hours in an evening for 9 holes will be far easier to wangle than giving up 4 hours on a weekend morning.
I'm also a Villa Season Ticket Holder and only missed one game since his birth - its all possible, just manage your time well. Right now you might think you'll miss golf, but on Sunday I gave up 9 holes to clean the house so Mrs Bdill93 was less stressed! Id do that 10x over for her too, she gave me my boy!
Personally think everyone needs a hobby/past time that they do away from the family. Whether that’s golf, football, gym, gardening, meeting up with friends, knitting, whatever, it’s good to have a balance and time to yourself. Same for the kids when they’re older, teaches them independence and gets them into good habits.
I did the total opposite of course. Gave up football, golf (didn’t play regularly back then), going out with my mates etc, and it took a failed relationship to realise that being in each other’s pockets 24 hours a day isn’t good for anyone!
I did the total opposite of course. Gave up football, golf (didn’t play regularly back then), going out with my mates etc, and it took a failed relationship to realise that being in each other’s pockets 24 hours a day isn’t good for anyone!
In the 6 months up to the birth of my son, I was playing 6 rounds a week. He is now 13 and I have played around 15 rounds since he was born!
I have started to get back into it now, as my son is showing an interest in the game which gets me out.
I have started to get back into it now, as my son is showing an interest in the game which gets me out.
Bazzatron
Q-School Graduate
We had the discussion when we were trying and then when we found out... she seemed fine with once a weekend earliest slot in the comps back by 11. then the rest of the weekend i'll be available
sounds great in theory doubt it will happen though
Can't wait to see the follow up to this
You won't want to be teeing off at 7am when you've been up in the night.
I've got a 5 year old and an 8 month old, and have started my weekly rounds again now after the second arrived. Left around 8 months before the my first came along.
Golf will be there forever, your kids being babies wont be.
