It's nice to be invited.

[vig]

True Murph, but they're not quite as joyful an occasion are they? Also, I don't like seeing young children at funerals. I think their innocence should be protected as long as possible.

Got to agree with the children bit. We didn't allow our son to attend the funeral of my Dad. He was 7 but
a) I didn't think it was fair to put him through it at such a young age and potentially traumatise him for life.
b) I wanted him to remember his Grandad as he was
c) I would have fallen apart if he had got upset.
I am choking a little now just remembering all this again and it's 15 years ago.

He insisted on attending his Grans funeral but he was 16 then.

Weddings are a chance to catch up with relatives that we never hardly see and always say "we'll not have to leave it so long for the next reunion"........ But always do.

We are/have always been a close family but why oh why do we never make time to have regular get togethers.

 

[Atticus_Finch]

We are/have always been a close family but why oh why do we never make time to have regular get togethers.

Life gets in the way Vig I'm afraid.
I know what you mean though.

 

[Herbie]

Another opportunity to dress up and catch up with mates/relatives on a level playing field, but not as expensive as weddings sort of thing. As in weddings not the only occasion.

True Murph, but they're not quite as joyful an occasion are they? Also, I don't like seeing young children at funerals. I think their innocence should be protected as long as possible.

Im sorry to say, but between the sadness and tears (that you see at weddings too!) I have had more laughs and better pissups at funerals than weddings and Ive been to too many of both.lol.

As far as the comment above about a good time to meet old family/friends on level ground, or however put, I personally dont need a wedding for that as I think enough of my family and friends to see them enough otherwise.lol.

And as far as kids at funerals go, I neither agree nor disagree, I think its down to the stability and aproach of the parents and the charactor of the kids. Kids are more understanding of life and death than they are given credit for, unless they live with families who hide everything they might percieve as harmful, when in fact its normality we are talking about.If you educate kids about life and death,Kids understand it better than adults. The worst thing for a kid is having a grandad that suddenly stops comming to see them and mum and dad tell them he lives in heaven now, does that give the kids an understanding why grandad didnt say goodbye and just stops comming to see them or stops them going to his house to play? Thats just one example of denying the existance of death and funerals to kids.Keeping some stuff from kids isnt always protecting innocense, but can be creating guilt or even dislike of the departed (if close ).Does anyone consider that the departed might want kids around rather than everyone in black looking miserable??

 

[vig]

I agree with some of what you say Herb.
Kids are more grounded than they are given credit for.

The boy knew his Grandad had died, he used to visit him EVERY day "we" felt it was best for him that he didn't attend the funeral and maybe it was to protect his innocence. Kids don't stop kids very long these days and he remembers his grandad as he was and not some miserable sombre ceremony.
When he was old enough to make the choice himself he did.

 

[Dave3498]

Usually while catching up with family/mates I haven't seen in a while. It's the only occasion that different generation of the family can socialize on a level playing ground. I love them.

Not a chance mate. Once the inevitable deafening disco starts you can forget social intercourse. Even between the records the disc-jockey wants to prattle on about the the hit he's just played and the fantastic new sound he's about to destroy our hearing with. All the guests just sit around looking at eachother, unable to communicate because of the noise.

Why do these disc-jockey always think that everone has turned up just to hear them?

 

[Herbie]

I agree with some of what you say Herb.
Kids are more grounded than they are given credit for.

The boy knew his Grandad had died, he used to visit him EVERY day "we" felt it was best for him that he didn't attend the funeral and maybe it was to protect his innocence. Kids don't stop kids very long these days and he remembers his grandad as he was and not some miserable sombre ceremony.
When he was old enough to make the choice himself he did.

I agree that making decisions for kids of certain ages is a dialema for all parents, we try to teach as much as we can to our two (ages 10 and 7 ) Funerals are a bit miserable I agree and their grandads was no exception, we kept them away from the ceremony but the came to garden of rememberance after and they took it all better than the adults and brightened it up a little.

Its a tough call no matter how you look at it though.