I have a cold!

Sneds

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I currently have my nose running like a tap, but I really need to be better for Thursday. Can anybody recommend any remedies that will ensure a rapid recovery. All suggestions considered and no expense will be spared! x
 

viscount17

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there are a few, the best involve, in various proportions, cinnamon essence, ginger extract and Woods 100.

the point of these is that though they won't do anything for the cold, after a few you really won't care.
 

AuburnWarrior

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I currently have my nose running like a tap, but I really need to be better for Thursday. Can anybody recommend any remedies that will ensure a rapid recovery. All suggestions considered and no expense will be spared! x

Sounds like a common ailment - 'Man Flu'!

To cure you need to lay on the sofa for pretty much all day in comfortable clothes (no girdles). Equip yourself with a bell - this is vital! Whenever you need ANYTHING you ring the bell. HID must then come and attend to you. It is imperative that she refrains from moaning as this will hinder your recovery.

It will last for only two days my man - be strong! Look inside yourself for the extra strength - SAS style.

We're all with you (I've just lit a candle.....) :cool:
 

drawboy

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I currently have my nose running like a tap, but I really need to be better for Thursday. Can anybody recommend any remedies that will ensure a rapid recovery. All suggestions considered and no expense will be spared! x

Sounds like a common ailment - 'Man Flu'!

To cure you need to lay on the sofa for pretty much all day in comfortable clothes (no girdles). Equip yourself with a bell - this is vital! Whenever you need ANYTHING you ring the bell. HID must then come and attend to you. It is imperative that she refrains from moaning as this will hinder your recovery.

It will last for only two days my man - be strong! Look inside yourself for the extra strength - SAS style.

We're all with you (I've just lit a candle.....) :cool:
AuburnWarrior I salute you Sir, you are a shining example of manhood it is so good to see someone who will stand up for the rights of all men suffering that most debilitating
illness Man-flu.Well said. :)
 

HomerJSimpson

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If the need arises to have to get up from the sofa going down like an Italian defender due to your weakened flu ridden state will win you extra sympathy votes with HID. That or she'll tell youto stop being a girly wuss and get on with it. Worse case scenario she'll use the period every month and childbirth cards at which point a tactical withdrawl is current convention
 

Yerman

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But watch out for random drug tests for performance enhance drugs. Cocaine drys noses quickly, but does have a down side!
 

vig

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I too have man flu, serves me right for ridiculing it last week.

got blethered Sun night but still feel like s***!

going to try and venture out on Thursday if my chest clears.
Cold air should bring it up a treat
 

Mick47

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Sorry mate contrary to advice offered by Auburn Warrier (who is either single or newly wed) you are on your own.
40 years of deadlock have taught me that:
HID will not feel our pain.
She will not tend your fevered brow.
She will not respond to your bell ringing.
She will not offer sympathy.
She will not see it as an excuse to stay off work.
She will not see your illness as anything more than a slight cold.
She will think you (and all men)are great big wimps.
She will not agree that whisky and the sofa are aids to your recovery.
She will certainly not see the logic in you being too ill to work but the freash air of the golf course may be good for you.
She will tell you that if it were men who bore the children there would be a lot less people on the planet.

Take a tip from a pro don't mention your illness go about your tasks with a martered expression on your face. In the evening visit the pub or clubhouse where you will find people who truely understand the pains of man flu, there you will find the medicine you need served in pint glasses.
Don't expect any sympathy though, soon as you're out of earshot your brothers in arms will berate you for spreading your germs round the pub/clubhouse instead of staying at home. :D
 
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