Hand notice in before having a new job lined up

[Wolf]

Take it easy for a few days days let yourself have a chance reset and do something that makes you smile. Little wins each day no matter what they are will help, if you ever need a chat theres many on here happy to listen and even pm me or others we may not always be able to do much but we can share amongst us in some way.

 

[Deleted member 25172]

Best wishes, lets hope it all gets sorted for you and that the only future worry you have is whether you'll make the next 10 foot putt ?

It’s the 2-3 footers I worry about, not the 10!

 

[rksquire]

Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention. I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional. I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being. As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.

 

[Deleted member 25172]

Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention. I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional. I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being. As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.

Thanks for encouraging words. I have been through this before unfortunately, and I believe that a part of me just simply have tried to convince myself that I’m not going down the same route again. Obviously, I’ve been telling lies to myself, but at least I’ve come to terms with it now. First thing I did on Tuesday morning after calling in sick was to go and sign up for a GP. Have never been registered for a GP in the UK before, so it’ll take some time for the registration to go through and then to be able to get an appointment.
So, a few steps in the right direction, and a lot more to be taken (getting back to training, meditation, book appointment with doctor, medication (possibly), and also just in general try to be a bit kinder to myself.
For those here that have played golf with me, they know what I’m talking about. In the big picture, that may seem a very tiny thing, if it would have an effect at all, but how I beat myself up there on the course is how I do in every other scenario in life as well.

 

[rksquire]

You'll get there - you're doing the right things, don't run away from it (which you're not) and accept all the help bring offered. Your golf analogy is interesting, it's easier said than done, but in the moment allow yourself to be disappointed with the shot or round, but don't dwell on it or beat yourself up about it. Golf is often a torture at the best of times! Good luck, and be proud of yourself for the steps you've taken.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

You'll get there. Recognising the problem is actually a massive step. HID has had depression (and self-harm) issues and recently said she feels like she's back on a downward spiral. Stuff at work not going tickety boo but she's actively working through that but it's taking a toll. She's already spoken with her GP and had an initial chat with the local Talking Therapies the GP sorted for her. She knows it's a long road ahead but we'll get there together

I hope from Lilyhawk's perspective that if nothing else, dumping everything out in that meeting was cathartic and a line drawn in the sand from which to move forward from. Keep positive and never be scared to vent on here if you have the need

 

[Patster1969]

The other thing I would say is does your company have an EAP (employee assistance programme) as an employee benefit, as these usually offer confidential one on one phone (& sometimes face-to-face) counseling through a third party provider, so nothing is reported back to the employer? When I was struggling last year, they were really helpful to talk to and also offer advice.

 

[Imurg]

It's not easy to go away for a few days and not think about work when its work that's made you go away for a few days
I was in the same boat in 2002 and 2003.
Pressure of work etc etc
Cracked, took time off, didn't go back.
That's when I started the training to be a driving instructor.
Good luck with whatever it takes to get your head back on properly.
There will always be an ear to listen on the Forum.

 

[Blue in Munich]

Well done for taking the next step, it's not easy. Stick with it, and keep a record of everything that happens should you need it later. All the best with it & as others have said, there's more than a few sympathetic ears on here if you need them.

 

[Deleted member 25172]

The other thing I would say is does your company have an EAP (employee assistance programme) as an employee benefit, as these usually offer confidential one on one phone (& sometimes face-to-face) counseling through a third party provider, so nothing is reported back to the employer? When I was struggling last year, they were really helpful to talk to and also offer advice.

I’m gonna speak to HR once back in and see if we have anything of that sorts when I’m back in. Thanks for the tip!

 

[Deleted member 25172]

It's not easy to go away for a few days and not think about work when its work that's made you go away for a few days
I was in the same boat in 2002 and 2003.
Pressure of work etc etc
Cracked, took time off, didn't go back.
That's when I started the training to be a driving instructor.
Good luck with whatever it takes to get your head back on properly.
There will always be an ear to listen on the Forum.

That is true, but my feeling is that they did take on board what I was saying now and that if nothing changes I will leave, whether I want to or not. At least it does feel like I can breathe now without this massive lump in my stomach for the time being, so let’s hope change is actually coming!

 

[Dando]

Just remember you’re not the only in this situation mate.

Have you got access to counselling as I’ve had 10 sessions via my firms health insurance and I was amazed how easy it was to talk to a stranger and I feel so much better for it

As Jon said, no excuses not to come to Paris now

 

[Deleted member 25172]

Just remember you’re not the only in this situation mate.

Have you got access to counselling as I’ve had 10 sessions via my firms health insurance and I was amazed how easy it was to talk to a stranger and I feel so much better for it

As Jon said, no excuses not to come to Paris now

Thanks! Im gonna look into it first thing when I’m back in to see if we have anything similar.

Hehe, afraid Paris is still off the cards...

 

[Dando]

Thanks! Im gonna look into it first thing when I’m back in to see if we have anything similar.

Hehe, afraid Paris is still off the cards...

If your worried about not getting back into the uk I’m sure we’ll be able to smuggle you in

 

[Deleted member 17920]

Nice one Jakob for letting them know the issues.

Hopefully they will do all that’s right to keep you and make sure you enjoy your job.

 

[Blue in Munich]

If your worried about not getting back into the uk I’m sure we’ll be able to smuggle you in

Lying git; you were going to abandon him there to give the rest of us a chance at H4H!

 

[Dando]

Lying git; you were going to abandon him there to give the rest of us a chance at H4H!

Oh crap, sorry guys!

 

[Tashyboy]

Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention. I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional. I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being. As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.

As good a post I have read on here for some time. ?

 

[Jacko_G]

Well, it took a couple of weeks, but it was inevitable. The big mental breakdown came this Monday when it all just swept over me. The last 2 days have been spent looking out the window when I haven’t been tucked under the duvet crying for nothing.

Sent a message to my boss yesterday afternoon and asked to have a conversation first thing in the morning today together with his boss as well.

Laid it all out, my previous history of anxiety/depression, the melt down, the workload and stress. It was harder to talk about then what I expected, but it feels good now I didn’t hold anything back.

They’re going to sit down today to look at what tasks they can shift off from me ASAP.

They sent me home and told me to come back on Monday and To try not to think about work at all and just rest.

Hopefully there will be some change for the better. At the same time, it’s also obvious that I myself have quite some work to do to give myself the best chance of being happy and as free from stress and anxiety as I can be, both at and outside of work.

That takes courage. I respect you even more that you typed that on a public forum.

You have a lot more courage than you think.

Stick in and good luck, also don't go back until you are ready.

?

 

[Liverbirdie]

Things will get better at one point, now you have shown a great strength.

It may be days, weeks or even months, but at some point you will be proud of yourself and hopefully you'll get a better job (dont just judge it on the wages, but on the whole job package).

You'll come through it and when you do raise a glass to yourself, fella. Best of British, Jakob, most impressive bi-lingual swearer I know.