JPH
Q-School Graduate
why did the lion get lost ?
Cos jungle is massive
Cos jungle is massive
Funny Stuff
- Thread starter Fish
- Start date
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
I went to this Zoo and they only had one dog in it!!!!
It was a Shih Tzu!!
It was a Shih Tzu!!
DappaDonDave
Journeyman Pro
What's the difference between a joke and a temperature?
Nurses can take temperatures
Nurses can take temperatures
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
Did you hear about the Israeli Kamikaze Pilot.
Crashed his plane into his brother-in-laws scrap yard.
Crashed his plane into his brother-in-laws scrap yard.
wrighty1874
Journeyman Pro
The BBC has a new show starting next week.I'm a child, get this celebrity outta me!!!!
sawtooth
Tour Winner
What do you get if you eat Xmas decorations?
Tinsillitis !
Tinsillitis !
A Welshman was washed up on a beach after a shipwreck. Only a sheep and a sheepdog were washed up with him. After looking around, he realized that they were stranded on a deserted island.
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance..
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Cherie Blair. That evening, the man brought Cherie to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again.
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Cherie and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Cherie batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
*
*
*
*
*
He said, 'could you take the dog for a walk?'
After being there awhile, he got into the habit of taking his two animal companions to the beach every evening to watch the sunset. One particular evening, the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds, the breeze was warm and gentle - a perfect night for romance..
As they sat there, the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man. Soon, he leaned over to the sheep and put his arm around it.. But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely until the man took his arm from around the sheep. After that, the three of them continued to enjoy the sunsets together, but there was no more cuddling.
A few weeks passed by and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Cherie Blair. That evening, the man brought Cherie to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful evening - red sky, cirrus clouds, a warm and gentle breeze - perfect for a night of romance. Pretty soon, the man started to get those feelings again.
He fought the urges as long as he could but he finally gave in and leaned over to Cherie and told her he hadn't had sex for months. Cherie batted her eyelashes and asked if there was anything she could do for him.
*
*
*
*
*
He said, 'could you take the dog for a walk?'
Idlenorth1
Head Pro
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me!
My girlfriend is a pornstar,
She is going to be so p####d off when she find out
Courtesy of sickipedia
My girlfriend is a pornstar,
She is going to be so p####d off when she find out
Courtesy of sickipedia
teetime72
Head Pro
A Farmer at a Welsh campsite was showing a camper to his pitch
when they came across a sheep struggling to get through a bramble
hedge back into the field , i t was wriggling it`s back end trying to free itself.
The camper said " I wish that was a woman"
Replied the Farmer " I wish it was dark".
when they came across a sheep struggling to get through a bramble
hedge back into the field , i t was wriggling it`s back end trying to free itself.
The camper said " I wish that was a woman"
Replied the Farmer " I wish it was dark".
sawtooth
Tour Winner
The wife kept breaking the washing machine, so I divorced her and the washing machine hasn't since.
Its true what they say in the adverts then.
Washing machines live longer with cow gone.
Its true what they say in the adverts then.
Washing machines live longer with cow gone.
williamalex1
Money List Winner
whats the difference between complete and finished------answer , your complete if you marry the right girl , your finished if you marry the wrong girl , and your completely finished if the right girl finds you with the wrong girl
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
News Flash:
Someone has drilled a peep hole into the Ladies changing rooms at the local Gym.
The Police are looking into it!
Someone has drilled a peep hole into the Ladies changing rooms at the local Gym.
The Police are looking into it!
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
A 4ft tarot reader recently escaped from prison, police said... "There's a small medium at large".
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
NEWS FLASH !!!!
Vandals have broken into the Police head Quarters and smashed up all the toilets!
A Police spokesman said 'At this time they have nothing to go on'
Vandals have broken into the Police head Quarters and smashed up all the toilets!
A Police spokesman said 'At this time they have nothing to go on'
johnnyWilders
Hacker
I'm sending you this message from my hospital bed. Luckily, the doctors believe that I'm going to make a full recovery.
As a friend, I feel I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
As a friend, I feel I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
PIng
Head Pro
A dwarf walked into our golf club last week wearing a BNP tee-shirt. I thought "that's a little racist".
Chrisb83
Assistant Pro
Whats the best thing about sleeping with 37 year olds?
There's 30 of them!
People in yemen don't like the flintstones but people in abu dhabi do
There's 30 of them!
People in yemen don't like the flintstones but people in abu dhabi do
stevelev
Journeyman Pro
williamalex1
Money List Winner
the Dr put my wife on a new pill and now we have sex every night, it dont matter what position were in , nothing wakes her .
if only
if only
