Embarrassing Golf Moments

[AMcC]

Have regaled this tale before but due a re visit.

It was the Irvine Trades charity day and on the twelfth tee the prize was for the SHORTEST drive. The beer tent was set up opposite the tee. I tried to tee off with a 5 wood, just caught the ball with the nose of the club and it sailed off at an angle up in to the adjacent trees, rumbled about a bit and dropped down a few feet in front of the tee

My team mates were rolling about the tee laughing, which made me feel great, not, and they had to dispatch a junior 150 yards down the fairway to retrieve the mark for the previously shortest drive.

I did win, if that is the right word a bottle of whisky . :whoo:

 

[Doon frae Troon]

As a young Head Greenkeeper in the pre mobile phone 1980's I was testing out the irrigation system at the start of spring.
The controls were in a building adjacent to the clubhouse.
Another greenkeeper was adjusting the heads and I allowed 5 minute timings between greens circuits.
He was a bit slow approaching the 9th green and saw the pop ups come on,
Unfortunately the Lady Captain was standing in her skirt directly below one pop up.
She was convinced we did it deliberately.

 

[srixon 1]

Many years ago I was playing my first comp as a single figure golfer. I had been paired up to play with two 28 handicappers. As I stood over the ball for my first tee shot my thoughts were, "right I will show you two duffers how to play this game". Twenty minutes later stood on the second tee they had both scored par 4's while I was chalking up a 10. The worse thing about it all is I didn't loose a ball, go OOB or incurr any type of penalty shot, it was pure hacking all the way. Still makes me shudder now when I think about it.

 

[johng]

I've posted this before, may be worth a retelling?


A year or two after I started playing I thought I'd get some 'proper' clubs for myself. I ended up in an independent seller who used an indoor bay and simulator to fit clubs from. After hitting some shots the salesman - sorry 'pro' thought he'd give me a few tips on improving my swing. On one fatal shot he got me to hold at the top of the swing and he repositioned my hands and hips, then telling me to swing down. I did as instructed and brought the leading edge of the iron, axe like, into the motion sesnsing lasers and circuit boards. The whole system was wiped out. I was stunned but this was nothing compared to the look on his face. Valiantly he tried to cover up the damage muttering something about needing a new system anyway and it could be repaired easily...
In fairness he was determined to complete his sale, sorry my fitting experience, so ditching technology he brought out the perspex impact board and some marking strips for the clubs. Again I'd never seen, let alone hit a ball form an impact board, and in my innocence asked if there was the possibility of the board getting broken. On surer ground he replied that they were unbreakable and i had nothing to woory about, talk about misplaced confidence. So i took my stance, the club was taped, the ball waiting to be hit. Deep, but nervous breath, jerky backswing, rushed downswing and all hell broke loose. I swayed back on the downswing causing the club to hit the back edge of the board propelling it forward at 80+ mph across the fitting bay. It smashed into the steel strutts supporting a net and partioned walls and exploded into bits. The ball meanwhile remained in situ, reminding me of the magic table cloth trick. Out of shock, embarassment and genuine humour I collpased to the floor laughing and that was the end of my custom fitting session. The shop owner came over to survey the damage, and though no comment was made I could tell my custom was no longer needed. Hey Ho, live and learn. I still feel very uncomfortable every time i see an impact board and it genuinely took me a long time to get over the incident....

 

[granters]

I've posted this before, may be worth a retelling?


A year or two after I started playing I thought I'd get some 'proper' clubs for myself. I ended up in an independent seller who used an indoor bay and simulator to fit clubs from. After hitting some shots the salesman - sorry 'pro' thought he'd give me a few tips on improving my swing. On one fatal shot he got me to hold at the top of the swing and he repositioned my hands and hips, then telling me to swing down. I did as instructed and brought the leading edge of the iron, axe like, into the motion sesnsing lasers and circuit boards. The whole system was wiped out. I was stunned but this was nothing compared to the look on his face. Valiantly he tried to cover up the damage muttering something about needing a new system anyway and it could be repaired easily...

Speaking of which, i J Arthured one at my fitting a few months ago, missed the net and hit 2 walls. wrong shaft in at the time obviously

 

[mcbroon]

I've posted this before, may be worth a retelling?


A year or two after I started playing I thought I'd get some 'proper' clubs for myself. I ended up in an independent seller who used an indoor bay and simulator to fit clubs from. After hitting some shots the salesman - sorry 'pro' thought he'd give me a few tips on improving my swing. On one fatal shot he got me to hold at the top of the swing and he repositioned my hands and hips, then telling me to swing down. I did as instructed and brought the leading edge of the iron, axe like, into the motion sesnsing lasers and circuit boards. The whole system was wiped out. I was stunned but this was nothing compared to the look on his face. Valiantly he tried to cover up the damage muttering something about needing a new system anyway and it could be repaired easily...
In fairness he was determined to complete his sale, sorry my fitting experience, so ditching technology he brought out the perspex impact board and some marking strips for the clubs. Again I'd never seen, let alone hit a ball form an impact board, and in my innocence asked if there was the possibility of the board getting broken. On surer ground he replied that they were unbreakable and i had nothing to woory about, talk about misplaced confidence. So i took my stance, the club was taped, the ball waiting to be hit. Deep, but nervous breath, jerky backswing, rushed downswing and all hell broke loose. I swayed back on the downswing causing the club to hit the back edge of the board propelling it forward at 80+ mph across the fitting bay. It smashed into the steel strutts supporting a net and partioned walls and exploded into bits. The ball meanwhile remained in situ, reminding me of the magic table cloth trick. Out of shock, embarassment and genuine humour I collpased to the floor laughing and that was the end of my custom fitting session. The shop owner came over to survey the damage, and though no comment was made I could tell my custom was no longer needed. Hey Ho, live and learn. I still feel very uncomfortable every time i see an impact board and it genuinely took me a long time to get over the incident....

I think we have a winner!

 

[Khamelion]

There's some absolute belters in this thread, had tears steaming down my face laughing.

 

[AllyLodge]

My worst was a few years back when playing the 12th at lamberhurst. We were all newbies so holding a couple of oldies up, and they weren't too pleased. As we approached the tee, it started bucketing down with rain. The 12th is a long par 3 over water. I wasnt wearing a glove, and low and behold, my club flew out of my hands. Luckily enough, the club was caught 15ft in the trees above us ! My friends were crying in laughter whilst the 4 ball behind us used their ball retriever to retrieve my club. It was not my greatest moment.

-Alex

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Further to my earlier thread.
The Club used to put up a huge marquee on the putting green for the Summer Ball.
On my first year whilst on my way home I popped my head in to see a beautiful set up with very posh tabels, dance floor etc.
I then thought that it might be a quite a good idea to isolate the putting green pop ups from that planned evenings watering

 

[Laughing Gravy]

I've posted this before, may be worth a retelling?


A year or two after I started playing I thought I'd get some 'proper' clubs for myself. I ended up in an independent seller who used an indoor bay and simulator to fit clubs from. After hitting some shots the salesman - sorry 'pro' thought he'd give me a few tips on improving my swing. On one fatal shot he got me to hold at the top of the swing and he repositioned my hands and hips, then telling me to swing down. I did as instructed and brought the leading edge of the iron, axe like, into the motion sesnsing lasers and circuit boards. The whole system was wiped out. I was stunned but this was nothing compared to the look on his face. Valiantly he tried to cover up the damage muttering something about needing a new system anyway and it could be repaired easily...
In fairness he was determined to complete his sale, sorry my fitting experience, so ditching technology he brought out the perspex impact board and some marking strips for the clubs. Again I'd never seen, let alone hit a ball form an impact board, and in my innocence asked if there was the possibility of the board getting broken. On surer ground he replied that they were unbreakable and i had nothing to woory about, talk about misplaced confidence. So i took my stance, the club was taped, the ball waiting to be hit. Deep, but nervous breath, jerky backswing, rushed downswing and all hell broke loose. I swayed back on the downswing causing the club to hit the back edge of the board propelling it forward at 80+ mph across the fitting bay. It smashed into the steel strutts supporting a net and partioned walls and exploded into bits. The ball meanwhile remained in situ, reminding me of the magic table cloth trick. Out of shock, embarassment and genuine humour I collpased to the floor laughing and that was the end of my custom fitting session. The shop owner came over to survey the damage, and though no comment was made I could tell my custom was no longer needed. Hey Ho, live and learn. I still feel very uncomfortable every time i see an impact board and it genuinely took me a long time to get over the incident....

Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant!!

 

[chris661]

I've posted this before, may be worth a retelling?


A year or two after I started playing I thought I'd get some 'proper' clubs for myself. I ended up in an independent seller who used an indoor bay and simulator to fit clubs from. After hitting some shots the salesman - sorry 'pro' thought he'd give me a few tips on improving my swing. On one fatal shot he got me to hold at the top of the swing and he repositioned my hands and hips, then telling me to swing down. I did as instructed and brought the leading edge of the iron, axe like, into the motion sesnsing lasers and circuit boards. The whole system was wiped out. I was stunned but this was nothing compared to the look on his face. Valiantly he tried to cover up the damage muttering something about needing a new system anyway and it could be repaired easily...
In fairness he was determined to complete his sale, sorry my fitting experience, so ditching technology he brought out the perspex impact board and some marking strips for the clubs. Again I'd never seen, let alone hit a ball form an impact board, and in my innocence asked if there was the possibility of the board getting broken. On surer ground he replied that they were unbreakable and i had nothing to woory about, talk about misplaced confidence. So i took my stance, the club was taped, the ball waiting to be hit. Deep, but nervous breath, jerky backswing, rushed downswing and all hell broke loose. I swayed back on the downswing causing the club to hit the back edge of the board propelling it forward at 80+ mph across the fitting bay. It smashed into the steel strutts supporting a net and partioned walls and exploded into bits. The ball meanwhile remained in situ, reminding me of the magic table cloth trick. Out of shock, embarassment and genuine humour I collpased to the floor laughing and that was the end of my custom fitting session. The shop owner came over to survey the damage, and though no comment was made I could tell my custom was no longer needed. Hey Ho, live and learn. I still feel very uncomfortable every time i see an impact board and it genuinely took me a long time to get over the incident....

This is one of THE funniest posts I have ever read on here. FACT.

 

[brendy]

Wasnt Scott Gourlays shop by any chance was it?

 

[johng]

Wasnt Scott Gourlays shop by any chance was it?

Wrong end of the country for me Brendy.

It was a shop in Cardiff -Golfbrands - no longer in existence (went bankrupt due to replacing broken equipment I believe?)

 

[Wabinez]

apart from a full tilt airshot the other weekend, the only thing that springs to mind for me happened last year some time.

Playing out 7th, i put my tee shot in the rough on the left, about 10 yards short of the 150 marker. No real route over the top, as it wouldn't go up quick enough to go over the trees, i went to punch one up onto the fairway. Stance taken, massive gap to get out in front of me, i struck the ball as crisp as anything. Unfortunately for me, the ball also caught the 150 yard marker as crisp as anything, and head on. The ball came straight back at me at a rate of knots, and I couldn't get out of the way. It caught me about an inch below my adam's apple, and left a nice red mark on my throat/chest.

 

[joma1108]

Bit of pain to this one, 20 years ago not long after starting to play i was playing with my brother at barshaw park in paisley, standing on the second tee, blind shot uphill to the fairway and i got the big dog out and leathered it, the ball flew 10 yards in front and hit the small marker bins on the tee box, shot back like a rocket and hit me square on the left eyebrow knocking me out cold.

When i came around there were three games on the tee box all beginning to panic a bit and the least concerend was my sibling, he asked if im all right and i said i think so, he then told me i was playing three as i had a penalty for touching my own ball.

I dont remeber anything about the rest of the round as i was concussed however i was told there were lots of funny looks throughout the rest of the round and when i got back to the car i realised why, all down the left side of my head was red with dried in blood and i looked like an extra for the elephant man.

One trip to casualty 5 stitches and a mild concussion later was back home.
Doctors wouldnt believe my story and thought i had been mugged or assualted and called the cops who wouldnt believe me either!!

I still get jitters standing on the second tee of any hole now lol well not lol as it was bloody sore but can laugh about it now.

 

[sydney greenstreet]

Yesterday was my most embarassing moment, tee'd off and hit the left hand deep rough 18-24 inches then took 7 shots to get it 6 yards sideways then 7 iron to front of the ditch then a wood to edge of the green and up and down for a 12, the rough was twisting around the club so much that one shot lobbed up and went over my left shoulder.

 

[thecraw]

Bit of pain to this one, 20 years ago not long after starting to play i was playing with my brother at barshaw park in paisley, standing on the second tee, blind shot uphill to the fairway and i got the big dog out and leathered it, the ball flew 10 yards in front and hit the small marker bins on the tee box, shot back like a rocket and hit me square on the left eyebrow knocking me out cold.

When i came around there were three games on the tee box all beginning to panic a bit and the least concerend was my sibling, he asked if im all right and i said i think so, he then told me i was playing three as i had a penalty for touching my own ball.

I dont remeber anything about the rest of the round as i was concussed however i was told there were lots of funny looks throughout the rest of the round and when i got back to the car i realised why, all down the left side of my head was red with dried in blood and i looked like an extra for the elephant man.

One trip to casualty 5 stitches and a mild concussion later was back home.
Doctors wouldnt believe my story and thought i had been mugged or assualted and called the cops who wouldnt believe me either!!

I still get jitters standing on the second tee of any hole now lol well not lol as it was bloody sore but can laugh about it now.

Royal Barshaw! :thup:


I had to buy my own golf ball back at knife point on one of the holes there when I was a wee boy starting out the game. No wonder the polis didn't believe you.

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Craw.
Reminds me of the lovely story of one of the Glasgow clubs.
This club had a handful of holes which bordered the Cooncil estate and after tea time the locals used to come out and play.
Members used to cut across to avoid playing these holes in the evening.

One new member was not aware of this and when playing with a friend came across a crowd of about 30 following a couple playing. He asked politely if he could play through to be met with.

'Well pal, normally we widnae mind but can ye no see the lads are playing in a final.'

 

[williamalex1]

was it blairbeth

 

[Slime]

Many years ago I was playing in a society, for the first time, at St. Georges Hill.................posh or what!
I was standing on the tee & shaking like a leaf............then it was my go.
I addressed the ball, with a 5 iron for safety, and was well aware of all the others on the tee.
I then made the fatal mistake of glancing toward the club house, only to be met by the gazes of several handle-bar moustached Major Generals & Brigadiers. Big gulp, look at the ball & swing smoothly.
I'm not sure exactly when I closed my eyes, but, at the completion of my follow through my eyes re-opened.
What a frightening sight I beheld, a divot, my divot, the size of a large hanging basket, tumbling end over end and finally coming to rest somewhere in the heather.
I looked down, I just had to............and yes...........there it was............my golf ball.............still on it's peg!
But, oh my God, the divot hole was mahoosive, I mean I could have hidden in it, and it was a good 6 inches nearer my feet than the ball was...........I just felt sooooooooooo stupid.
Great course though!

Slime.