Daft things your other half has said or done

[Khamelion]

As the subject says, what daft things has your other half done that's made you smile, or wonder why you're with them at all.

Number 1 - When first courting we went to a wild fowl reserve, we had wandered around all the hides bar the wader hide, when I ask if she wanted to go, she replied she couldn't as she had no wellies.

Number 2 - When I told her that my friend had put a CD multichanger in the boot of his car, she asked how the CD's got to the front. I told her there was a special track under the car which the CD's slid along to get to the CD head unit, she believed me.

Number 3 - This is my fav, there was a video on the news one night where some guy had developed a way of getting bees to sniff out drugs in baggage in airports, now I don't know if this was an April fool or not but she wondered how the bees worked, so I told her the bee keeper had a lot of extra small leads and the bees flew in front of him and would land of those people who smelt of drugs.

Anyone got anything?

 

[Shiny]

Number 2 made me spit tea on my keyboard.

 

[Paul_Stewart]

We were doing a quiz once. Question was who was the second man on the moon. She asked me for a clue. "Buzz.." I said. "Lightyear?"

 

[drawboy]

Mine married me.......can't get any dafter than that!

 

[thecraw]

Driving up north one year we were approaching the Fair City of Perth where there is a sign for Scone Palace. The wife proceeds to say " oh, there's a scone place up ahead we can stop there I'm hungry!"

Also on that same trip up near Torridon I'm pointing out the majestic mountains of Liathach, Alligan etc as we're driving over to Skye in some of Scotlands most beautiful scenery when out the blue she states "sheep must be bored"!

 

[Doon frae Troon]

First trip to Scotland with my fiance [soon to be wife] I convinced her that we occasinally get snow in September. She packed all her winter woolies and ended up buying a bikinni for the beach.

 

[CliveW]

Mine once said, "You're noy playing golf today are you?". How stupid was that???

 

[birdieman]

Soon after we'd met we were sharing the driving down to Wales, it was late in the day and she was clearly speeding in a 30 zone somewhere around Caernarfon so I said "this is a 30 isn't it?" to which she replied "yeah but it's nighttime".

 

[CMAC]

Old GF thought as the sun was setting and changing colour it was cooling down

she was a keeper

 

[Region3]

My wife went to Kenya last year with some friends. Before she went she asked my daughter if she would like a stuffed toy animal bringing back for her, as it's the animals that people go to Kenya for and there isn't much else in the way of gifts you can bring back for an 8 year old girl.

Daughter: "Yes please."
Wife: "What animal would you like?"
Daughter: "A meerkat please."
Wife: "I don't think they'll have any Russian animals"

 

[Dellboy]

Old GF thought as the sun was setting and changing colour it was cooling down

 

[Iaing]

I was on honeymoon with the current wife and as we were having dinner and picking from the menu she starts moaning that the sea bass would have skin on. ( she doesn't eat fish with skin or bones )
So after that debate she says she'll have duck.
So as I'm getting a bit pissed off as I'm ready to order, I say " you'd better hope that the duck doesn't have the feathers left on."

She says " don't be daft. Ducks don't have feathers."

 

[Golfmmad]

Sitting in the lounge with the wife and she turns to me and says, "Have you seen my glasses, I can't find them anywhere". I said, "They are sitting on top of your head"!


Another one, but from my eldest Stepdaughter that I have never let her live down.

She was looking for a job at the time and noticed a headline in the paper which read, "1000's of jobs in peril!"

She said to her husband, "Where abouts is Peril".:mmm:

 

[palindromicbob]

Working in the hospital I had a set of keys handed down to me by my father. He got them when he started nursing 40 years ago. When I started working on the wards it was a newly refurbed place and the key's weren't needed. I only used them for times I was working extra shifts on the other wards. Anyway got changed wards to one that used the key and went to the key box hanging by the stairs. It had been various keys and I noticed it looked very empty. I couldn't find my work key so asked where all the keys were. She replied. "I sorted them out and threw out the ones I didn't know the use for".

Been together 5 years and I had never felt properly angry at her until those words came from her mouth. She isn't stupid but her logic was so flawed, she didn't even check to see if I knew what they were for. She simply took it upon herself to throw them out. The key itself didn't matter so much but the sentimental value of them is beyond value. It even had a key from the old hospital when it had padded cells etc.

Apparently a box specifiically designed for storing keys was not a good enough place for them. If I didn't get arrested for domestic assault that day then I think she's safe forever.

 

[louise_a]

Sitting in the lounge with the wife and she turns to me and says, "Have you seen my glasses, I can't find them anywhere". I said, "They are sitting on top of your head"!


Another one, but from my eldest Stepdaughter that I have never let her live down.

She was looking for a job at the time and noticed a headline in the paper which read, "1000's of jobs in peril!"

She said to her husband, "Where abouts is Peril".:mmm:

When I was a kid I always wondered where Random was.

 

[RGDave]

this one is killing me...

Number 2 - When I told her that my friend had put a CD multichanger in the boot of his car, she asked how the CD's got to the front.

My wife commented on some of the names of the F1 driver today.

"One of them is called "Roman Goujon" to which I replied
"yeh, and there's also a driver called Pasta Maldonado"

"why are they named after food!?"

 

[Neddy]

Not my other half but my mum asked my dad earlier why England kept picking Mario Balotelli......

 

[chrisd]

My good lady announced just before Christmas that she was thinking of putting some fairy lights round her bush!

 

[hamshanker]

Few years ago wife needed to go to the shop and had to park up and drop her off just outside the parking bays and while she was in the shop a bay came available so i parked up in there....
In the mean time a car same make n colour parked up to where i had just been and to my delight and also telling the daughter to keep quiet she came out of the shop and parked her arse in this other car:rofl: the look of shock on the drivers face was priceless with tears of laughter from me n daughter,to say wifey was'nt impressed would be an understatement....

and

She dragged me food shopping with her once which she knows i hate,so i had just got a fart machine which i slipped into her handbag without her knowing,so when we got to the till i made an excuse that i needed to get a paper and left her to pay,so now hid around the corner the fart machine was remote controlled i started to set it off....the look of horror and embarrassment on wifes face as she was rummaging through her bag to prove to the check-out girl that it was'nt her was also priceless......since then ive never been invited to do food shopping again:clap:

 

[connor]

Bare in mind my dearly beloved educates our future generation!
We brought something for 1000 but as the shop owner gets on with us due to shopping there a few times he have us 10%discount so 100 off.
Mrs then when chatting to me later said if it cost 100 we would of got it for free?

I glared at her realised she was beig serious and just laughed haha