PhilTheFragger
Provider of Entertainment for the Golfing Gods 🙄
Somebody sent me these 
Q. What’s the difference between Cinderella and an Australian cricketer
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
Q. What do you call a world class Australian cricketer
A. Retired.
Q. What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube?
A. Laughing stock.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Q. What’s the difference between an Aussie batsman and a formula one car?
A. Nothing. If you blink you’ll miss them both.
Q. What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A. The entire Australian innings.
Q. What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.
Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease?
A. The woman who irons the Australian team’s cricket whites.
Q. Why don’t Aussie fielders need travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What is the most proficient footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen before going out to bat.
Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat….
A. A vet
Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a phoenix?
A. At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.
A bloke walks into a brothel and says: “I’m a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?â€
The madam replies £60.
Wow, what do I get for that,†he says.
She says: “A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricketers for a meeting.
They want to know how they went downhill so fast.
Q. What’s the difference between Cinderella and an Australian cricketer
A. Cinderella knew when to leave the ball
Q. What do you call a world class Australian cricketer
A. Retired.
Q. What do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube?
A. Laughing stock.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a funeral director?
A. A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.
Q. What’s the difference between an Aussie batsman and a formula one car?
A. Nothing. If you blink you’ll miss them both.
Q. What do Aussie batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come from.
Q. What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
A. The entire Australian innings.
Q. What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.
Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.
Q. Who spends the most time on the crease?
A. The woman who irons the Australian team’s cricket whites.
Q. Why don’t Aussie fielders need travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.
Q. What is the most proficient footwork displayed by Australian batsmen?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.
Q. What is the definition of optimism?
A. An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen before going out to bat.
Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten, Walloped.
Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.
Q. What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat….
A. A vet
Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.
Q. What’s the difference between Michael Clarke and a phoenix?
A. At the end of the ashes, the phoenix still has a future.
A bloke walks into a brothel and says: “I’m a bit kinky, how much for total humiliation?â€
The madam replies £60.
Wow, what do I get for that,†he says.
She says: “A baggy green cap and an Australia shirt.
The Australian bobsleigh team have asked the Aussie cricketers for a meeting.
They want to know how they went downhill so fast.
