# A sign of the times?



## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

Interesting comments from Joanna Lumley, I sense the 'easily offended' brigade are more likely to agree with Nottinghamshire police though.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-37562400


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## 351DRIVER (Oct 5, 2016)

Pathetic that someone reports that to the police

Had my ass grabbed a few times by chicks in bars, years ago.. should I have called the police and had them charged with sexual assault?  Me being in my 20s, them in their 40s 

Wasting police time with stupid complaints bugs the crap out of me


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## bluewolf (Oct 5, 2016)

Not really expecting a balanced discussion on a golf forum are we?  Try posting this on Mumsnet


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## Pathetic Shark (Oct 5, 2016)

Thought it was going to be a thread about that great song from the 80s by The Belle Stars.


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## 351DRIVER (Oct 5, 2016)

bluewolf said:



			Not really expecting a balanced discussion on a golf forum are we?  Try posting this on Mumsnet 

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Mumsnet, so just had a look
interesting site
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2748822-My-partner-calls-me-****-face


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## Lord Tyrion (Oct 5, 2016)

Comments can sometimes be intimidating, wolf whistles alone probably not. Being offended by a wolf whistle alone seems pretty pathetic to me. I've genuinely been wolf whistled once, many years ago by a young woman in a group of women. Blimey did it put a bounce in my step (yes I know it may have been a dare or sarcastic but in my head they meant it )

That mumsnet link was not what I was expecting. Why would you need to start a thread to know that is unacceptable?


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## 351DRIVER (Oct 5, 2016)

Lord Tyrion said:



			Comments can sometimes be intimidating, wolf whistles alone probably not. Being offended by a wolf whistle alone seems pretty pathetic to me. I've genuinely been wolf whistled once, many years ago by a young woman in a group of women. Blimey did it put a bounce in my step (yes I know it may have been a dare or sarcastic but in my head they meant it )
		
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That was me, my dog had managed to get out of his harness


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## Lord Tyrion (Oct 5, 2016)

Yeah, you keep telling yourself that was why you whistled :thup:


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## bluewolf (Oct 5, 2016)

351DRIVER said:



			Mumsnet, so just had a look
interesting site
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2748822-My-partner-calls-me-****-face

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Good isn't it?  I've learned a lot about women from that site.. They're not all sugar and spice you know....


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## User62651 (Oct 5, 2016)

Waste of time reporting it to police but seriously a woman should be able to walk along the street in 2016 without a gang of builders whistling at her, 1970s behaviour that should stay there imho. It's mildly intimidating (to some women) group behaviour, doubt just one builder would whistle without an audience, more likely done for male group entertainment but it isn't appropriate particularly when aimed at a total stranger. Ask yourself if you would do it, I wouldn't.


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## jp5 (Oct 5, 2016)

Would you want your daughter being harassed by a group of men? I wouldn't.


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## stokie_93 (Oct 5, 2016)

351DRIVER said:



			Mumsnet, so just had a look
interesting site
http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2748822-My-partner-calls-me-****-face

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she still hasn't left me. Silly ****face


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## Lord Tyrion (Oct 5, 2016)

stokie_93 said:



			she still hasn't left me. Silly ****face
		
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:whoo::whoo:


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

maxfli65 said:



			Waste of time reporting it to police but seriously a woman should be able to walk along the street in 2016 without a gang of builders whistling at her, 1970s behaviour that should stay there imho. It's mildly intimidating (to some women) group behaviour, doubt just one builder would whistle without an audience, more likely done for male group entertainment but it isn't appropriate particularly when aimed at a total stranger. Ask yourself if you would do it, I wouldn't.
		
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Basically, this. Lowest common denominator, meant to intimidate/show off.


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## Kellfire (Oct 5, 2016)

"I would leave someone who called me this in a heartbeat. If I'd been married to him for 20 years with 10 kids I would bloody leave him."

A measured response from Mumsnet.


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## IainP (Oct 5, 2016)

Kellfire said:



			A measured response from Mumsnet.
		
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To be fair there is probably a thread on Mumsnet taking the mick out of some of the stuff that is posted on here!


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## bluewolf (Oct 5, 2016)

IainP said:



			To be fair there is probably a thread on Mumsnet taking the mick out of some of the stuff that is posted on here!
		
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If there was, it would be several hundred pages long and the vast majority of posts would contain a majority of swear words... They're a fearsome bunch, and I for one would not like to innocently wander in to one of their nights out....


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

When I was a kid, a wolfwhistle to a woman was a compliment.


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			When I was a kid, a wolfwhistle to a woman was a compliment.
		
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Of course it was. And all the good women knew to stay at home, making their husbands tea and gossiping with the other wives.

In the 21st century we like (well, some of us do!) to consider women as equals, and try not to treat them in an intimidating or condescending manner, purely on the basis of their looks.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			Of course it was. And all the good women knew to stay at home, making their husbands tea and gossiping with the other wives.

In the 21st century we like (well, some of us do!) to consider women as equals, and try not to treat them in an intimidating or condescending manner, purely on the basis of their looks.
		
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Oh OK. Is it acceptable (in your world) for me to approach a strange woman and politely tell her she looks very nice today?

I'm also confused as to why you consider a compliment to be condescending?


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Oh OK. Is it acceptable (in your world) for me to approach a strange woman and politely tell her she looks very nice today?
		
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Actually no, I would say that it isn't. Why do you think it would be ok to do that?

Edit to add: unless you do this to any person, regardless of sex/gender, in which case it is more acceptable. If you're choosing women specifically, then I would say it isn't ok.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			Actually no, I would say that it isn't. Why do you think it would be ok to do that?

Edit to add: unless you do this to any person, regardless of sex/gender, in which case it is more acceptable. If you're choosing women specifically, then I would say it isn't ok.
		
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Maybe because it would make her feel good about herself?


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			I'm also confused as to why you consider a compliment to be condescending?
		
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Because you're judging her on the basis of her looks. And most of the time, a wolfwhistle is expected to be received gratefully, as if they should be thankful the builders took time out of their day to bestow it on the lucky email


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Maybe because it would make her feel good about herself?
		
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How many guys have you said look good, to make them feel good about themselves?

What if it wouldn't make her feel good? What if in fact, a strange man coming up to her, unwanted, would actually make her feel vulnerable? What if she doesn't want to be judged purely on her looks?

What about those days she doesn't get someone saying "you look good", should she feel bad about herself?


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			Because you're judging her on the basis of her looks. And most of the time, a wolfwhistle is expected to be received gratefully, as if they should be thankful the builders took time out of their day to bestow it on the lucky email
		
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So you have a problem with people paying compliments? I got my haircut at the weekend, a girl in the office that I don't really know very well but had reason to talk to in a work capacity on Monday said my hair looked nice. Should I report her to HR for harassment?


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			So you have a problem with people paying compliments? I got my haircut at the weekend, a girl in the office that I don't really know very well but had reason to talk to in a work capacity on Monday said my hair looked nice. Should I report her to HR for harassment?
		
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Nope, no problem with compliments. Completely different situation as a) you know her, and b) she knew you had your hair cut and reflected on this. I imagine she'd also tell other women and other men that. 

You try going around your office, go up to only the women (not caring whether they're busy or not) and tell them they look good. Personally, I couldn't see that going on too long without getting a reputation!  

Completely different to going up to a strange person you know nothing about, and telling them they look good.

Edit: If I may ask, how would you expect "strange woman" who you just told looked good, to react?


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			When I was a kid, a wolfwhistle to a woman was a compliment.
		
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CheltenhamHacker said:



			Of course it was.
		
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CheltenhamHacker said:



			Nope, no problem with compliments.
		
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Glad we agree on something.


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Glad we agree on something.
		
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How would you expect "strange woman" who you just told looked good, to react, btw?


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



How would you expect "strange woman" who you just told looked good, to react, btw?



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I would expect her to feel intimidated and scared. Hopefully she would run away to find the nearest policeman to report me. Then I would be locked up and hidden away from this sad, sterile world that is devoid of personality.


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## williamalex1 (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			I would expect her to feel intimidated and scared. Hopefully she would run away to find the nearest policeman to report me. Then I would be locked up and hidden away from this sad, sterile world that is devoid of personality.
		
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:rofl:


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Then I would be locked up and hidden away from this sad, sterile world that is devoid of personality.
		
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Let me guess, it's "PC GAWN MAD"


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## shewy (Oct 5, 2016)

What I will add to this is why do people put up a pic every 5 mins with a pout on social media fishing for compliments?
If someone comments they look nice (public profile) does this count as sexual harassment then?


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## Kellfire (Oct 5, 2016)

shewy said:



			What I will add to this is why do people put up a pic every 5 mins with a pout on social media fishing for compliments?
If someone comments they look nice (public profile) does this count as sexual harassment then?
		
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You look lovely in your avatar. Very horny though.


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## craigstardis1976 (Oct 5, 2016)

Not a classy thing to do and serves no real purpose.


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## Lord Tyrion (Oct 5, 2016)

shewy said:



			What I will add to this is why do people put up a pic every 5 mins with a pout on social media fishing for compliments?
		
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Because they are sad and desperate for attention?


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## USER1999 (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Oh OK. Is it acceptable (in your world) for me to approach a strange woman and politely tell her she looks very nice today?
		
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By saying she looks nice today, you are implying that she didn't yesterday. You don't know her, so how do you know she looked like a dog yesterday, and doesn't just look great every day? 

Unless you are a stalker, or clairvoyant.


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## Pin-seeker (Oct 5, 2016)

jp5 said:



			Would you want your daughter being harassed by a group of men? I wouldn't.
		
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Probably a lot of things that you wouldn't want your daughter doing with men,but one day it will probably happen.


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## user2010 (Oct 5, 2016)

If you can`t go up to nice looking women in a pub/club etc and compliment them on their looks/hair/butt/legs etc, how do you expect to get your leg over at the end of the night?
Unless you`re "taking one for the team" and going for the munter first!
It`s the end of the human race people........We`re All DOOOOOOMED!


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

So whats the deal if your single and you see a nice girl at the bus stop and tell her she looks nice? Is that a no no too?


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

Alex1975 said:



			So whats the deal if your single and you see a nice girl at the bus stop and tell her she looks nice? Is that a no no too?
		
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The answer to this stems from your answer to the following question:

"what would you do/think if she completely blanked you, or told you to go away?"


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## Doon frae Troon (Oct 5, 2016)

I once said to my secretary that she looked very nice this morning.

'Do I not look very nice on other mornings then ?' she replied with a little smile.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			The answer to this stems from your answer to the following question:

"what would you do/think if she completely blanked you, or told you to go away?"
		
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It's not even that. Women know that ignoring such behaviour or asking to be left alone often provokes an abusive response. You have no right to impose yourself on a stranger in this manner.


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## Liverbirdie (Oct 5, 2016)

What I do hate is the seemingly one way street, that this mainly seems to be accused of  i.e. blerks on women.

I was once at a black tie dinner do for the marine industry, and as is normal our Scottish brethren had the full gear on (kilt, socks etc). Two of our customers who come down were dressed like this, both about 18-19 years of age. We went to a late bar, with lots of 30-50 year old women in. Every 5 minutes their kilts were being lifted, their bums fondled etc.

Its not a 1 way street.


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## CheltenhamHacker (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			It's not even that. Women know that ignoring such behaviour or asking to be left alone often provokes an abusive response. You have no right to impose yourself on a stranger in this manner.
		
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That's what I was going to get at FD,  that it was imposing yourself on them. Completely agree with you


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## SocketRocket (Oct 5, 2016)

maxfli65 said:



			Waste of time reporting it to police but seriously a woman should be able to walk along the street in 2016 without a gang of builders whistling at her, 1970s behaviour that should stay there imho. It's mildly intimidating (to some women) group behaviour, doubt just one builder would whistle without an audience, more likely done for male group entertainment but it isn't appropriate particularly when aimed at a total stranger. Ask yourself if you would do it, I wouldn't.
		
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Come on, get a life, It's hardly a 'Hate Crime; is it!    I sometimes wonder how on earth we have managed to create so many thin skinned luvvies in this country.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

Liverbirdie said:



			What I do hate is the seemingly one way street, that this mainly seems to be accused of  i.e. blerks on women.

I was once at a black tie dinner do for the marine industry, and as is normal our Scottish brethren had the full gear on (kilt, socks etc). Two of our customers who come down were dressed like this, both about 18-19 years of age. We went to a late bar, with lots of 30-50 year old women in. Every 5 minutes their kilts were being lifted, their bums fondled etc.

Its not a 1 way street.
		
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Agreed Peter and I'm not condoning that but while you may have experienced it a handful of times in your life for many women it is a regular occurrence.


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## Pin-seeker (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			Agreed Peter and I'm not condoning that but while you may have experienced it a handful of times in your life for many women it is a regular occurrence.
		
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He may have only witnessed it a handful of times,but for some men it will also be a regular occurrence. 

You get a group of women out on the lash & they're definitely worse than men. 

Hen party's in Blackpool are ruthless &#128556;


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

Liverbirdie said:



			What I do hate is the seemingly one way street, that this mainly seems to be accused of  i.e. blerks on women.

I was once at a black tie dinner do for the marine industry, and as is normal our Scottish brethren had the full gear on (kilt, socks etc). Two of our customers who come down were dressed like this, both about 18-19 years of age. We went to a late bar, with lots of 30-50 year old women in. Every 5 minutes their kilts were being lifted, their bums fondled etc.

Its not a 1 way street.
		
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I actually had exactly this happen to me at a function. I was wearing a kilt and several women groped me including one who managed to grab hold of lil Gordy and I ended up with quite a painful bruise and a cut from her wedding ring on my manhood. If I had done that to a woman I'm sure I would have been arrested. Call me cynical but if I had called the police I somehow don't think they would have arrested her. Obviously I didn't call the police, I just put it down to a bit of harmless fun as nobody intended to hurt, injure or threaten anyone.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

murphthemog said:



			By saying she looks nice today, you are implying that she didn't yesterday. You don't know her, so how do you know she looked like a dog yesterday, and doesn't just look great every day? 

*Unless you are a stalker, or clairvoyant*.
		
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If that was the case I would tell her she looks very nice tomorrow.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			You have no right to impose yourself on a stranger in this manner.
		
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I pity any person that tries to pay you a compliment then if that is your reaction. Whatever happened to being nice and trying to make someone feel good?


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			The answer to this stems from your answer to the following question:

"what would you do/think if she completely blanked you, or told you to go away?"
		
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Go red and move on..... dunno really, it's never happened.


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## Liverbirdie (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			Agreed Peter and I'm not condoning that but while you may have experienced it a handful of times in your life for many women it is a regular occurrence.
		
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I dont doubt it Karen, probably even 90/10% in the past, but as the generations have gone on that ratio is changing IMHO

Its not just a blerk thing, its more a divvy thing. :thup:


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			I pity any person that tries to pay you a compliment then if that is your reaction. Whatever happened to being nice and trying to make someone feel good?
		
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It's not being nice when a complete stranger propositions you in the street. Happened to me this week and I was terrified.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			It's not being nice when a complete stranger propositions you in the street. Happened to me this week and I was terrified.
		
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Is it not a thing where it depends how it goes down? How the guy is presented and how he approaches, body language, if he's attractive to you and who you are as a person?


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			It's not being nice when a complete stranger propositions you in the street. Happened to me this week and I was terrified.
		
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Did you smile and say thank you before walking away or did you say 'Do one you knob'? His reaction will largely be determined by your reaction.


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## Big D 88 (Oct 5, 2016)

This reminds me a lot of Loose Women...

They oggle over men all the time yet at least once a month they have a debate about men being perverted.

I have to believe thats its probably close to 50/50 split in terms of men and women acting untoward against the opposite sex these days.

Only last week an older women said to my mate, 'if i was 20 years younger?!'

If a man says that to a women he's a predator


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

Alex1975 said:



			Is it not a thing where it depends how it goes down? How the guy is presented and how he approaches, body language, if he's attractive to you and who you are as a person?
		
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The context is important, you are correct. How attractive you may consider yourself is not. Your example involved going up to a complete stranger at a bus stop and commenting on her appearance. That's just never ok in my opinion. You're just some random ******** that's decided to pester her.

Women are a diverse bunch but I promise you very few, if any, are happy to be hit on by random strangers on the street or on public transport.


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## Doon frae Troon (Oct 5, 2016)

Well............7 year old grandchild lost her first tooth.
I asked her what the going rate for the Tooth Fairy was nowadays.

According to her it is Â£200......nae flies on that one.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			The context is important, you are correct. How attractive you may consider yourself is not. Your example involved going up to a complete stranger at a bus stop and commenting on her appearance. That's just never ok in my opinion. You're just some random ******** that's decided to pester her.

Women are a diverse bunch but I promise you very few, if any, are happy to be hit on by random strangers on the street or on public transport.
		
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I'm sorry but I fail to see how passing a nice comment such as 'I really like your coat/shoes/dress' or whatever to someone whilst waiting at a bus stop is pestering someone. I would call it passing the time of day until the bus turns up.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Did you smile and say thank you before walking away or did you say 'Do one you knob'? His reaction will largely be determined by your reaction.
		
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Yeah exactly, if I'd told him to "do one" I'd likely have got a mouthful of abuse or worse.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			The context is important, you are correct. How attractive you may consider yourself is not. Your example involved going up to a complete stranger at a bus stop and commenting on her appearance. That's just never ok in my opinion. You're just some random ******** that's decided to pester her.

Women are a diverse bunch but I promise you very few, if any, are happy to be hit on by random strangers on the street or on public transport.
		
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My comment was "if he's attractive to you".

You then go on to say that women are diverse but you assure me very few if any like being hit on..... madness. This just cannot be the case?

Btw I'm in a 24 year relationship with 100% fidelity so don't hit on anyone but hid. Just think your statements are hugely sweeping?!


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			Yeah exactly, if I'd told him to "do one" I'd likely have got a mouthful of abuse or worse.
		
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You're an intelligent woman, why would you chose to do that instead of politely saying thank you and walking away? That would diffuse most situations from my experience.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			I'm sorry but I fail to see how passing a nice comment such as 'I really like your coat/shoes/dress' or whatever to someone whilst waiting at a bus stop is pestering someone. I would call it passing the time of day until the bus turns up.
		
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That lack of empathy is your problem, I've tried to explain it from my perspective.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			That lack of empathy is your problem, I've tried to explain it from my perspective.
		
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I have enough 'people skills' to understand when someone isn't interested in passing the time of day and know when not to pursue a conversation. Don't think that every male that strikes up a conversation with you is making a pass, some are quite simply trying to be pleasant.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

Alex1975 said:



			My comment was "if he's attractive to you".

You then go on to say that women are diverse but you assure me very few if any like being hit on..... madness. This just cannot be the case?

Btw I'm in a 24 year relationship with 100% fidelity so don't hit on anyone but hid. Just think your statements are hugely sweeping?!
		
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My point was that context was important. You selectively ignored the precise situation that I was referring to, which was relevant to your original example of pestering a woman at a bus stop.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			I have enough 'people skills' to understand when someone isn't interested in passing the time of day and know when not to pursue a conversation.
		
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I'm sure you do but very many don't and won't take a hint and get violent if ignored or rejected and women know that so put up with a lot of unwelcome crap.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			I'm sure you do but very many don't and won't take a hint and get violent if ignored or rejected and women know that so put up with a lot of unwelcome crap.
		
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Maybe the issue lies with the people of Edinburgh because that certainly isn't the case down here in Bournemouth.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			You're an intelligent woman, why would you chose to do that instead of politely saying thank you and walking away? That would diffuse most situations from my experience.
		
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In this situation I was walking to work and this guy matched my pace and started walking with me. I couldn't just walk away.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Maybe the issue lies with the people of Edinburgh because that certainly isn't the case down here in Bournemouth.
		
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You'd be surprised I think. Probably most men would if they saw what women put up with on a regular basis.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			My point was that context was important. You selectively ignored the precise situation that I was referring to, which was relevant to your original example of pestering a woman at a bus stop.
		
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I'm not trying to catch you out, just having the conversation. I spotted you had said that context was relevant. I also don't think matching someone's pace when walking is an acceptable approach.


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## Pin-seeker (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			Yeah exactly, if I'd told him to "do one" I'd likely have got a mouthful of abuse or worse.
		
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Or maybe he'd av just wished you a good day. 

You really do appear to have a dim view of the male species. 

It must be so hard being a female in this world,I doff my hat to you.


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

Pin-seeker said:



			Or maybe he'd av just wished you a good day. 

You really do appear to have a dim view of the male species. 

It must be so hard being a female in this world,I doff my hat to you.
		
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Yeah, maybe. Just generally doesn't seem worth the risk though. 

Your sarcasm does you no credit. This a serious subject and I'm just sad that some of you can't see it from the other side.


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## Pin-seeker (Oct 5, 2016)

FairwayDodger said:



			Yeah, maybe. Just generally doesn't seem worth the risk though. 

Your sarcasm does you no credit. This a serious subject and I'm just sad that some of you can't see it from the other side.
		
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Sorry but you make out that if a man gets knocked back by a women he suddenly turns into Jack the Ripper.


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## HowlingGale (Oct 5, 2016)

Have to say if anyone paid a complete stranger a compliment like 'you look nice' or that's a nice dress it would seem to me like the start of the 'chatting up' process. If it's at a bus stop in the middle of the day it would seem a bit creepy coming from a guy. Especially an older one.

The only time it would occur to me to say something like that would be when I'm blootered. However id lose any articulation and instead of 'you look nice'  it would be 'you're pure gorgeous, by the way'.

Having spoken to a number of female friends and colleagues about similar situations, believe me, unless they find you attractive it does come across as creepy.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

HowlingGale said:



			Have to say if anyone paid a complete stranger a compliment like 'you look nice' or that's a nice dress it would seem to me like the start of the 'chatting up' process. If it's at a bus stop in the middle of the day it would seem a bit creepy coming from a guy. Especially an older one.

The only time it would occur to me to say something like that would be when I'm blootered. However id lose any articulation and instead of 'you look nice'  it would be 'you're pure gorgeous, by the way'.

Having spoken to a number of female friends and colleagues about similar situations, believe me, *unless they find you attractive* it does come across as creepy.
		
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But how are you going to know?


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## Farmergeddon (Oct 5, 2016)

I once hit on a woman I didnt know by telling her she looked great, we have now been married 45 years, just how do men chat up a woman these days???
ANd on the subject of sexual harassment, I used to work for IBM fixing Punches and verifiers (the 70s!) some places had hundreds of these things all worked by women most of which were divorced  just walking in some places was scary. One day I squatted down behind a machine and my trousers split, how on earth anybody heard with all the racket the machines made I have no idea but I know what happened next..


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## Doon frae Troon (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Maybe the issue lies with the people of Edinburgh because that certainly isn't the case down here in Bournemouth.
		
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Give over.....no women being attacked in Bournemouth.
Bet the local paper tells a different story.


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## Blue in Munich (Oct 5, 2016)

drive4show said:



			When I was a kid, a wolfwhistle to a woman was a compliment.
		
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Do I need to practice my wolf whistle for Sunday weekâ€¦â€¦â€¦


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## FairwayDodger (Oct 5, 2016)

Pin-seeker said:



			Sorry but you make out that if a man gets knocked back by a women he suddenly turns into Jack the Ripper.
		
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I've tried to explain but I actually think you're deliberately missing the point. I've been "hit on" twice recently in situations where I was alone and unable to get away. Both times by men who refused to take the hint and leave me alone. The attention was very unwelcome and, rationally or not, I was intimidated and scared.

I'm sure you'll now laugh at me for that reaction but I'm asking you to try and see it from my perspective and apply a little empathy.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 5, 2016)

Farmergeddon said:



*I once hit on a woman I didnt know by telling her she looked great, we have now been married 45 years*, just how do men chat up a woman these days???
ANd on the subject of sexual harassment, I used to work for IBM fixing Punches and verifiers (the 70s!) some places had hundreds of these things all worked by women most of which were divorced  just walking in some places was scary. One day I squatted down behind a machine and my trousers split, how on earth anybody heard with all the racket the machines made I have no idea but I know what happened next..
		
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:clap::thup::cheers:


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## SatchFan (Oct 5, 2016)

I hired a big skip a few weeks ago and while my wife was in the middle of it packing the rubbish neatly a white van drew up and stopped. The driver wound down his window and told her she was far too good looking to be thrown away. It made her day.


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## garyinderry (Oct 5, 2016)

If we have learnt anything from American tv shows its that you can walk up to a girl anywhere and ask her out. Straight up.  

How successful you will be depends on how attractive she finds you. If she doesn't like what she sees, you are immediately branded a creep. 

Most decent men in the UK don't attempt this for fear of being branded. Actual creeps who don't know no means no, ruin it for everyone. 

Most men wait until both parties are suitably oiled before taking the plunge and going in for the make or break move.  

These days most don't even risk rejection. It's much simpler to swipe left or right.  Lol


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## Beezerk (Oct 5, 2016)

The blokes ive known who wolf whistle women were generally nobs, and they called their missus "babe".
#yuk


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## Liverbirdie (Oct 5, 2016)

garyinderry said:



			If we have learnt anything from American tv shows its that you can walk up to a girl anywhere and ask her out. Straight up.  

How successful you will be depends on how attractive she finds you. If she doesn't like what she sees, you are immediately branded a creep. 

Most decent men in the UK don't attempt this for fear of being branded. Actual creeps who don't know no means no, ruin it for everyone. 

Most men wait until both parties are suitably oiled before taking the plunge and going in for the make or break move.  

These days most don't even risk rejection. It's much simpler to swipe left or right.  Lol
		
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Or take their tops off after 15 pints in the John Lennon bar - how you thought that would be attractive I'll never know.


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## garyinderry (Oct 5, 2016)

Last year I was walking across a street and two young girls where standing not too far away.  

A wolf whistle sounded and I walked on and it was quickly followed by another. A little embarrassed I looked over to acknowledge that yes I am an attractive fellow and to give a pleasant nod only to find that the two girls weren't in the least  bit interested in my presence but my admirer had been a parrot that was sitting in a cage outside a house next door to the girls. 

Felt like a right knob.


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## HowlingGale (Oct 5, 2016)

Alex1975 said:



			But how are you going to know?
		
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You don't. You use Tindr just like every other singleton/ married person looking to hook up.

Or start a conversation about the weather.

Or talk about golf.

But if the first words out yer gub are 'that's a nice dress' then it probably won't be received the way you intended.


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## HowlingGale (Oct 5, 2016)

garyinderry said:



			If we have learnt anything from American tv shows its that you can walk up to a girl anywhere and ask her out. Straight up.  

How successful you will be depends on how attractive she finds you. If she doesn't like what she sees, you are immediately branded a creep. 

Most decent men in the UK don't attempt this for fear of being branded. Actual creeps who don't know no means no, ruin it for everyone. 

Most men wait until both parties are suitably oiled before taking the plunge and going in for the make or break move.  

These days most don't even risk rejection. It's much simpler to swipe left or right.  Lol
		
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Didn't read this before I posted. Will try and not steal your thunder again.


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## williamalex1 (Oct 5, 2016)

HowlingGale said:



			Didn't read this before I posted. Will try and not steal your thunder again.
		
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Ah! HowlingGale,  so you do thunder too  , BTW less of the ageist remarks please .

 No more nice swing compliments for you FD , sorry Karen I couldn't resist :smirk:


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## ColchesterFC (Oct 5, 2016)

Beezerk said:



			The blokes ive known who wolf whistle women were generally nobs, and they called their missus "babe".
#yuk
		
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I used to call the ex Mrs Colch "Babe" but it wasn't an attempt at affection. It was after the film of the same name.


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## Beezerk (Oct 5, 2016)

ColchesterFC said:



			I used to call the ex Mrs Colch "Babe" but it wasn't an attempt at affection. It was after the film of the same name. 

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Nasty man


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## williamalex1 (Oct 5, 2016)

ColchesterFC said:



			I used to call the ex Mrs Colch "Babe" but it wasn't an attempt at affection. It was after the film of the same name. 

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I wonder what your ex thought the FC in your forum name meant :rofl:


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

HowlingGale said:



			But if the first words out yer gub are 'that's a nice dress' then it probably won't be received the way you intended.
		
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Depends how you say it.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 5, 2016)

Blue in Munich said:



			Do I need to practice my wolf whistle for Sunday weekâ€¦â€¦â€¦ 

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I'm pretty sure that if you whistled at Louise she would take it in the manner you intended. She might even whistle back


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## HowlingGale (Oct 5, 2016)

williamalex1 said:



			Ah! HowlingGale,  so you do thunder too  , BTW less of the ageist remarks please .

 No more nice swing compliments for you FD , sorry Karen I couldn't resist :smirk:
		
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&#128512; I've been a creep for years. Sorry was implicating those over 30 with that statement.

Just as an aside there are different rules depending who's doing what though. I remember on a works night out one of the office girls almost lost a finger up my bahookie. Then on our xmas night out at the same venue I was just about stripped to the waist. It was 'just a bit of fun'. Wonder what would have happened if the roles were reversed.


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## louise_a (Oct 5, 2016)

Farmergeddon said:



			I once hit on a woman I didnt know by telling her she looked great, we have now been married 45 years, just how do men chat up a woman these days???
ANd on the subject of sexual harassment, I used to work for IBM fixing Punches and verifiers (the 70s!) some places had hundreds of these things all worked by women most of which were divorced  just walking in some places was scary. One day I squatted down behind a machine and my trousers split, how on earth anybody heard with all the racket the machines made I have no idea but I know what happened next..
		
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But where did you tell your now wife that, in a pub or club where it might be considered chatting up, or randomly in the street where it might be considered scary?


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## Farmergeddon (Oct 6, 2016)

louise_a said:



			But where did you tell your now wife that, in a pub or club where it might be considered chatting up, or randomly in the street where it might be considered scary?
		
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It was in the laundrette actually...


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## Slab (Oct 6, 2016)

I may have picked this up wrong due to skimming through the posts but no oneâ€™s seriously advocating that its acceptable to approach a women at a bus stop and say â€˜you look nice' or 'that's a nice coat/bag/shoesâ€™ as their opening line to start a conversation!


TAXI!


Oh and no way the women should be expected to say 'thank you' in reply


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## bluewolf (Oct 6, 2016)

So, I'm not really sure what the lesson is here.. 
It would appear to be that it's not Ok to compliment a Lady unless you're good looking and happy to be rejected.. 

Or is it that the future of dating is online?

 Or is it that there is a time and place for these sort of advances and the street is not one of them (The Impulse adverts have been lying to me for years). 

Or is it that both sexes are going to have to adjust their views slightly to avoid any sort of unfortunate mix up in future..

I know one thing though. A wolf whistle is most definitely not a compliment.. It can be taken as one if the recipient is of a mind to do so, but at best it's naive. At it's worst it's lecherous and intimidating..


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

bluewolf said:



			So, I'm not really sure what the lesson is here.. 
It would appear to be that it's not Ok to compliment a Lady unless you're good looking and happy to be rejected.. 

Or is it that the future of dating is online?

 Or is it that there is a time and place for these sort of advances and the street is not one of them (The Impulse adverts have been lying to me for years). 

Or is it that both sexes are going to have to adjust their views slightly to avoid any sort of unfortunate mix up in future..

I know one thing though. A wolf whistle is most definitely not a compliment.. It can be taken as one if the recipient is of a mind to do so, but at best it's naive. At it's worst it's lecherous and intimidating..
		
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Pretty much correct Danny although I suspect even online dating is still dodgy as IP addresses can be traced and reported.

Looks like the human race is about to die out as people prefer not to have any contact with each other anymore in case someone gets offended


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## stokie_93 (Oct 6, 2016)

Slab said:



			I may have picked this up wrong due to skimming through the posts but no oneâ€™s seriously advocating that its acceptable to approach a women at a bus stop and say â€˜you look nice' or 'that's a nice coat/bag/shoesâ€™ as their opening line to start a conversation!
		
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If you have my good look and charm it's easy


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## bluewolf (Oct 6, 2016)

drive4show said:



			Pretty much correct Danny although I suspect even online dating is still dodgy as IP addresses can be traced and reported.

Looks like the human race is about to die out as people prefer not to have any contact with each other anymore in case someone gets offended   

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It looks like my approach of standing at the other side of the bar, occasionally looking over then looking away once eye contact is made, then spending the rest of the night trying to think of something urbane and charming, then realizing that she left an hour earlier so going getting a large pepperoni pizza and going home- is going to be the method of choice in the future mate...


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

Slab said:



			I may have picked this up wrong due to skimming through the posts but no oneâ€™s seriously advocating that its acceptable to approach a women at a bus stop and say â€˜you look nice' or 'that's a nice coat/bag/shoesâ€™ as their opening line to start a conversation!


TAXI!


Oh and no way the women should be expected to say 'thank you' in reply
		
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What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?


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## PhilTheFragger (Oct 6, 2016)

drive4show said:



			What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?
		
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Get real Gordon, that is so out of touch with reality

I mean when did you last use a bus


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

PhilTheFragger said:



			Get real Gordon, that is so out of touch with reality

I mean when did you last use a bus   

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Good point!


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## Slab (Oct 6, 2016)

drive4show said:



			What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?
		
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Are you looking for advice on what's acceptable behaviour with the intention of changing because you realise the above is quite different to this:



drive4show said:



			I'm sorry but I fail to see how passing a nice comment such as 'I really like your coat/shoes/dress' or whatever to someone whilst waiting at a bus stop is pestering someone. I would call it passing the time of day until the bus turns up.
		
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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

Slab said:



			Are you looking for advice on what's acceptable behaviour with the intention of changing because you realise the above is quite different to this:
		
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No, I'm just asking what you think is acceptable.


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## Lord Tyrion (Oct 6, 2016)

bluewolf said:



			It looks like my approach of standing at the other side of the bar, occasionally looking over then looking away once eye contact is made, then spending the rest of the night trying to think of something urbane and charming, then realizing that she left an hour earlier so going getting a large pepperoni pizza and going home- is going to be the method of choice in the future mate...
		
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I have just re-lived many an evening with that description. The only difference for me was I would swap the pizza for a quarter pounder with cheese, extra chilli sauce, no onions, from the kebab shop at the Haymarket Newcastle, no longer there. That managed to get me most of the way home walking back to my flat. Other than that we clearly had identical, soul destroying experiences. I'm pleased I am married and don't have to go through all of that again.


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## Slab (Oct 6, 2016)

drive4show said:



			No, I'm just asking what you think is acceptable.
		
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I don't believe what I think is acceptable interests you one iota


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## Alex1975 (Oct 6, 2016)

I work with mostly woman, I just did a quick poll in the office. I asked "if your walking down the street and you get wolf whistled is it a compliment or an annoyance?"

Compliment 5 (one comment of "I love it")

Annoyance 2


They are a diverse group of ladies.


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## Hacker Khan (Oct 6, 2016)

To be honest, having met a few people commenting in this thread, if they started saying to strangers at bus stops that they looked nice they it would definitely fall into the creepy category.  Me included.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

Slab said:



			I don't believe what I think is acceptable interests you one iota
		
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Yeah true, I just thought I would waste my time typing stuff on the internet.


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## Sweep (Oct 6, 2016)

drive4show said:



			What about......you are waiting for a bus along with another woman and you say something along the lines of 'lovely weather for the time of year' and she responds with 'yeah it's been glorious'. You then say ' you look really smart, off to a wedding or something?'

Is that acceptable in your opinion?
		
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As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it. 
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.


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## PhilTheFragger (Oct 6, 2016)

a few months ago I was in London shopping, walked into a department store, Think it was Fortnum & Mason, walked through the door and held it open for the person behind, who happened to be female and American.

Got a right rocket about her being perfectly able to open a door by herself, to which I replied that I was holding the door open for the next person irrespective of gender as a common courtesy, and that it was feminists like her that give male chauvinist pigs like me a bad name.

Took her a while to work this out and I just walked away shaking my head.


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## Alex1975 (Oct 6, 2016)

PhilTheFragger said:



			a few months ago I was in London shopping, walked into a department store, Think it was Fortnum & Mason, walked through the door and held it open for the person behind, who happened to be female and American.

Got a right rocket about her being perfectly able to open a door by herself, to which I replied that I was holding the door open for the next person irrespective of gender as a common courtesy, and that it was feminists like her that give male chauvinist pigs like me a bad name.

Took her a while to work this out and I just walked away shaking my head.
		
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Sarcasm, they don't do it, you totally lost her with the "chauvinist pigs like me a bad name" bit.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Oct 6, 2016)

Sweep said:



			As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it. 
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.
		
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Thank you, I think this post sums up the entire thread for me  :thup:


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## Liverbirdie (Oct 6, 2016)

PhilTheFragger said:



			I mean when did you last use a bus   

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Or something resembling the back end of one?


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## Robobum (Oct 6, 2016)

Alex1975 said:



			I also don't think matching someone's pace when walking is an acceptable approach.
		
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Im not going to speed up just so she can perv at my arse.


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## williamalex1 (Oct 6, 2016)

Sweep said:



			As many have said, it's all about context. If your intention is to have a nice chat it will usually come across that way, just as a leary persons intentions will be clear by the way the approach is made. I don't believe that any decent person with the right intentions would want to make another uncomfortable.
I do fear though that in this regard the professionally offended brigade are making this kind of interaction very difficult. All men are often seen in the same light and there is always the risk of a genuine attempt at small talk or complement being met with a sharp rebuke. Most of the time it's just easier not to bother. Nowadays I find myself not saying anything other than "hi" or maybe a quick smile and I would never even think about talking to a child. Quite a shame when you think about it. 
In my experience women love to be complemented, as long as the complement is genuine with no strings attached.
Personally I wouldn't even dream of wolf whistling at a woman - except I do sometimes at Mrs Sweep.
		
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Was Mrs Sweep not called Sue


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## Robster59 (Oct 6, 2016)

If you look at the original article from the lady involved then you will see it was more than a wolf whistle and more an ongoing harassment which is not acceptable. 
http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/32493749/woman-goes-to-police-over-wolf-whistles
From the above, I actually don't blame her for reporting it as people should be able to walk down the street without being pestered by knuckle dragging mouth breathers (apologies to any Orang Utans reading this). 

Of course, some people handle these things in different manners.  A lady friend of mine tells a story about when her and a young girl walked into a bar in Glasgow and hadn't realised it was quite a rough one.  As they walked through the door one bloke shouted at the young girl "Hey hen, do you want to come over here and sit on my face?" to the amusement of the regulars.  Her quick-as-a-flash response was "Why? Is your nose bigger than your knob?" and everyone in the pub burst out laughing at the blokes expense.  The other woman grabbed her and quickly escorted her back out of the pub. 

Interesting about the American woman moaning about having the door held for her.  I do it for manners for everyone but I heard a Radio discussion from women who thought being called Ladies was patronising.  Now I do tend to refer to groups of women I approach to as Ladies, and blokes as Gents.  So I asked in the office if women there found it offensive to be called Ladies and none of them did and couldn't understand why those on the Radio programme did.


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## Sweep (Oct 6, 2016)

williamalex1 said:



			Was Mrs Sweep not called Sue 

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No, she ran off with Sooty, the cow.


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