# Five words to ruin a date!



## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

Saw this question on twitter, I'm sure we've all been on one side or the other. Bit of Friday fun:cheers: here's mine.


"You look like my mum"      :mmm:


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

Wow that's bigger than mine!


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## turkish (Jan 16, 2015)

I've got work early tomorrow!!!


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## Piece (Jan 16, 2015)

Do you have a sister?
Is that your Mum? Wow.
I'd like to watch football.


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## fundy (Jan 16, 2015)

sorry ive forgotten my wallet


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

Do you like wearing uniforms?


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

Val said:



			5 words?
		
Click to expand...

I was wondering who would be first to spot that- well done Private Pike!


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

Sorry? You don't like golf?


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## fundy (Jan 16, 2015)

Can I bring my kids?


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## patricks148 (Jan 16, 2015)

congratulations, when is it due?


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## GB72 (Jan 16, 2015)

Let's look at wedding dresses


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

Has the Lord touched you?


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

I love everything Star Wars!


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## Piece (Jan 16, 2015)

Can I have a lift?


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

4 pints of stella please

I can see dead people

you own a gimp mask?


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## Piece (Jan 16, 2015)

You look better lights off

My ex is over there


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## teetime75 (Jan 16, 2015)

You`re not like your photo.


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

the advert stated tall blonde...


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

Rooter said:



			4 pints of stella please

I can see dead people

*you own a gimp mask?*

Click to expand...

and

I own a gimp mask!


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

CMAC said:



			I own a gimp mask!
		
Click to expand...


Above duly cut and pasted for future use...


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## Wabinez (Jan 16, 2015)

I'd give that 5 minutes...


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## SocketRocket (Jan 16, 2015)

Phew!  Did you do that?


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## Liverbirdie (Jan 16, 2015)

It will stop itching soon.......


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## Piece (Jan 16, 2015)

Sorry, it just wouldn't flush


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

Chloroform wears off after 20


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## ColchesterFC (Jan 16, 2015)

Your mum did it better.


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## Piece (Jan 16, 2015)

Its not touching the sides


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## SocketRocket (Jan 16, 2015)

The voices said you're nice!


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## richart (Jan 16, 2015)

I'm a Golf Monthly forumer.oo:


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## CMAC (Jan 16, 2015)

richart said:



			I'm a Golf Monthly forumer.oo:
		
Click to expand...

winner :clap:


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## Rooter (Jan 16, 2015)

You mighta heard of me.....


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## Marshy77 (Jan 16, 2015)

Will you clean my balls


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## drewster (Jan 16, 2015)

my tags bleeping, must go !!


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## Tashyboy (Jan 16, 2015)

Get your coat, you've pulled.


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## North Mimms (Jan 16, 2015)

My husband's in The Army


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## ADB (Jan 16, 2015)

well your sister liked it

your choice, Bigmac or nuggets

my tourettes has improved recently


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## Farneyman (Jan 16, 2015)

"Does this smell of chloroform..."


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## PhilTheFragger (Jan 16, 2015)

You been eating garlic today?


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## PhilTheFragger (Jan 16, 2015)

I've been eating garlic today!


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## chrisd (Jan 16, 2015)

It's not a big rash


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## Maninblack4612 (Jan 16, 2015)

I forgot my hemorrhoid cream


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## Foxholer (Jan 16, 2015)

I play Golf every day!

My Golf's important to me!

What is your Golf handicap?


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## c1973 (Jan 16, 2015)

Was your boob job expensive?

Are those your own teeth?

Sorry, what's your name again?


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## Paul_Stewart (Jan 16, 2015)

My name's Smiffy...   cheque please.


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## Hobbit (Jan 16, 2015)

Couldn't your daughter make it?


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## Break90 (Jan 16, 2015)

OK if mum joins us?


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## williamalex1 (Jan 16, 2015)

You really suit that mustache.


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## Stuey01 (Jan 16, 2015)

Let me introduce my wife


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## chrisd (Jan 16, 2015)

Are you still a man?


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## Paul_Stewart (Jan 17, 2015)

Give that one five minutes


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## Fish (Jan 17, 2015)

I think we will go to Eastbourne


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## SocketRocket (Jan 17, 2015)

VD Clinic does good food!


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## triple_bogey (Jan 17, 2015)

''You're sister was even better''


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## HomerJSimpson (Jan 17, 2015)

They let you out?


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## SocketRocket (Jan 17, 2015)

SocketRocket said:



			VD Clinic does good food!
		
Click to expand...

Good, Im going in!


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## USER1999 (Jan 17, 2015)

The ladies tee. Really? Wow!


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## stevelev (Jan 17, 2015)

Can the team join in


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## Paul_Stewart (Jan 18, 2015)

I moderate on this forum


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## bladeplayer (Jan 18, 2015)

When did u shower last 

how open minded are you

dont dress in the dark 

do u own a mirror


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## wrighty1874 (Jan 18, 2015)

Do you spit or swallow?


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## 6inchcup (Jan 18, 2015)

"i play with PING clubs"


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## PhilTheFragger (Jan 18, 2015)

Paul_Stewart said:



			I moderate on this forum
		
Click to expand...

Infraction for Mr Stewart .....(only joking) :thup:


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## Imurg (Jan 18, 2015)

PhilTheFragger said:



			Infraction for Mr Stewart .....(only joking) :thup:
		
Click to expand...

That's only 4 words - or 6 if you're Foxy...:ears:


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## CMAC (Jan 18, 2015)

Siri, do you like her?


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## PhilTheFragger (Jan 18, 2015)

CMAC said:



			Siri, do you like her?
		
Click to expand...

Possibly a winner


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## sportsbob (Jan 19, 2015)

Just been released from prison


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## Slab (Jan 19, 2015)

I'm on Twitter and Facebook!

i-phones are the best because... 

Do you like X Factor?

... you had to be there!


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## Piece (Jan 19, 2015)

I'm custom fitted for you!


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## SocketRocket (Jan 19, 2015)

Bet nothing from this thread gets into next Golf Monthly Mag's Forum!


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## chellie (Jan 19, 2015)

How well hung are you


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## chrisd (Jan 19, 2015)

chellie said:



			How well hung are you
		
Click to expand...

Larger than forum average length


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## chellie (Jan 19, 2015)

chrisd said:



			Larger than forum average length
		
Click to expand...

Is that yards or metric


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## chrisd (Jan 19, 2015)

chellie said:



			Is that yards or metric
		
Click to expand...

Guesswork


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## chellie (Jan 20, 2015)

chrisd said:



			Guesswork
		
Click to expand...

I've got a tape measure


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## chrisd (Jan 20, 2015)

chellie said:



			I've got a tape measure
		
Click to expand...

Real length, you are joking?


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## Paul_Stewart (Jan 20, 2015)

SocketRocket said:



			Bet nothing from this thread gets into next Golf Monthly Mag's Forum!
		
Click to expand...

That's way too many words....

"I write Bill's back page"


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## JCW (Jan 20, 2015)

who let the dogs out


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## Sweep (Jan 21, 2015)

It's bigger than your brother's


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## chrisd (Jan 21, 2015)

Sweep said:



			It's bigger than your brother's
		
Click to expand...

It's smaller than your mums


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## pokerjoke (Jan 21, 2015)

Chrisd going to join us.

I was going to say someone else but he would have started whinning


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## Ads749r (Jan 22, 2015)

My girlfriend is a blonde.


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## SocketRocket (Jan 22, 2015)

My name is Charlie Konkers!


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