# Hand notice in before having a new job lined up



## Lilyhawk (Jan 17, 2020)

I pretty much know what the majority's opinion is in regards of this, but perhaps there'll be a response in there somewhere that really gets to me. 

I'm in the gambling industry, working in the marketing department where my job basically is to make sure that we keep our customers for as long as possible, making sure they spend their money with us. Highly immoral, I know. 
Now, me and my colleagues are divided so we're looking after different regions, and it so happen to be that I've been given 2 regions, whilst everyone else looks after one. I've been sucking it up for over a year, doing all the daily work double, all the monthly meetings - double, all the reports - double. You get it. Double of all as I have 2 regions, whilst everyone else has one. 

I did a quick calculation just counting the bare daily work essentials, and in a year, it shows that I do about 18 working days more (based on 8 hour working day) than my colleagues for the same tasks do to me doing it double. 

This morning the big boss sent out an email, requesting for us to put together a learning presentation template for the programs that we're using. Now, most people received 2 programs each to create a presentation for, but - they were paired together with another colleague, whilst I was given 2 presentations to make also, but on my own. 

I almost lost it there and then but managed to get myself out from the building and walk around the block before answering. 

I've spoken to managers on several occasions before about workload, but nothing seem to get better, but just more work getting piled on. I'm an anxious person as is, but this is really starting to take it's toll now. Some friends have just said to "work less" and look for other things in the mean time, but I can't work less, cause I'm not in a line of work where I can delay things and just show up doing nothing. Campaigns and comms to customers has to go out. 

Have anyone here left a workplace before finding something new?


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## jim8flog (Jan 17, 2020)

Yes I quit on the spot once when I was told I was not getting a pay rise when all the others had. Luckily my wife backed me up when I told her and I got a new job within a couple of weeks.

It is very much industry dependent and if you are in some sort of computer programming job I doubt you will find it hard to find another. My son works in that industry and is responsible for recruiting his own team which he finds difficult because of a lack of candidates.


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## Deleted member 16999 (Jan 17, 2020)

Can you not request a formal meeting to put forward your grievances?

I’m sure they’d rather be aware of what’s happening before you either leave or, god forbid, you go off work ill with stress etc.


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## Robin Hood (Jan 17, 2020)

Difficult. I have always believed it is easier to get a job if you are in a job.
However if your current role is too stressful, move on quickly. Life is too short.
I have just read Pauls response and agree that this is a good starting point.
Good luck.


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## DRW (Jan 17, 2020)

Never quit without something lined up as such, don't think I would ever do that, as always had responsibilities. Would grin and bear it for the time being and sort out a new job and then leave the job and pass my comments on what was going on(if you don't mind burning bridges!).

That said, I did hand in my partnership notice after I 'rushed' a decision (I was not a happy bunny for quite a while and something just pushed me over the edge) and then negotiated the terms of 'retirement' from the partnership and how much I would pay for the terms I wanted, which took the following week iirc and formally withdrew after my 3 months notice I had to give. Couldn't find any premises suitable in that period, all a bit seat of the pants stuff, for my liking, but we(me/wife) made it happen and it worked out.

Hope you get it sorted, best of luck.


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## Imurg (Jan 17, 2020)

When I was in the Purchasing Department of a frozen fish importer the blame for mess ups landed on my desk instead of the people who were actually dealing with the issue.
Got to the point where a Buyer promised delivery of an item that was in transit. I quoted that said item "should" be delivered Tuesday. Buyer promptly tells customer he'll have item Wednesday
Tuesday comes and no fish - because the lorry broke down in Dover
Buyer rants at me saying is promised delivery, took it to the MD, got called in, got the 3rd degree, slammed my paperwork on his desk, told him to stick his job where the sun doesn't shine and walked out.
Began Driving Instructor training 3 days later
Best thing I ever did...


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## Bunkermagnet (Jan 17, 2020)

If I lived by myself and had no money concerns, I might. If I had a wife/partner, housing responibilities or family there's no-way I would burden the rest of them just because I felt aggrieved at work. I would start looking for another job and have a quiet word with my superior over how it was unfair, and why was it like it.


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## Tashyboy (Jan 17, 2020)

Imurg said:



			When I was in the Purchasing Department of a frozen fish importer the blame for mess ups landed on my desk instead of the people who were actually dealing with the issue.
Got to the point where a Buyer promised delivery of an item that was in transit. I quoted that said item "should" be delivered Tuesday. Buyer promptly tells customer he'll have item Wednesday
Tuesday comes and no fish - because the lorry broke down in Dover
Buyer rants at me saying is promised delivery, took it to the MD, got called in, got the 3rd degree, slammed my paperwork on his desk, told him to stick his job where the sun doesn't shine and walked out.
Began Driving Instructor training 3 days later
Best thing I ever did...

Click to expand...

that story sounds fishy to me 😁👍


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## 3offTheTee (Jan 17, 2020)

So sorry to hear of your problems. The answer is I would not unless I had a job lined up. What are the options for a new job and have you checked your options with what there is available?

What do your colleagues feel about the situation. You mention going to other managers but are you being assertive enough? How about going to the person above the managers, if there is one, after telling them what you are about to do if you do not receive support?

No idea how many regions but say 9 with 8 employees why can the Company not change the person around so everybody has 2for a month.

Good luck and remember health is more important.


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## Wolf (Jan 17, 2020)

There is no easy answer to your dilemma, however if its causing unwarranted stress and impacting how you feel outside of work then the first port of call would be to arrange a meeting with the person causing you the problem, lay out how you feel, what you feel is unfair and ask them for a resolution. If they are adament nothing will change inform them of your intention to look elsewhere. They can't fire you for that honesty and it may shock them into making positive changes for you, or they may say fine nothing will change your choice is your own, but at least you will know where you stand and have a clear conscience. 

I have once walked from a job on the spot after months of doing extra hours covering after a manager above me walked out, the company then chose to overlook me for someone less qualified whose first action was to tell me they were cancelling my holiday id had pre approved for months for time away with my kids  he told me get my priorities right work comes first. I walked there and then it was a great feeling but not financially the sensible one.


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## Doh (Jan 17, 2020)

Do you have someone who supports you in formal supervision sessions or a line manager. I definitely would be making  my feeling known to them. If your job is making you ill you have to look after number one.


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## SocketRocket (Jan 17, 2020)

Does your company have an HR department?  If so you may be able to discuss your concerns with them.   Companies have a responsibility for Employees health and that includes how they do not create a stressful working environment.  I hope you can resolve this and please dont let it make you ill.


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## Robster59 (Jan 17, 2020)

I worked for ICI for 27 years in Cheshire.  I met my partner who lived in Glasgow and as the company were offering redundancy terms I took them and moved up north without having a job lined up.  My partner supported me as she felt that I was being undervalued at ICI anyway.
I managed to find a job in Scotland, then as with Wolf was overlooked for a job as Assistant Manager.  I warned the company if they messed me around I'd leave but I don't think they believed me.  And I'd just won Account Manager of the Year.  They appointed someone with no experience, expect me to train him and then respond to him and not the manager.  I found another job at £10k a year more and handed in my notice.  The managers office had a full glass front and he was in with his manager at the time.  The people in the office saw this and said they saw both managers shrink back from the envelope when it was put on their desk .   I've done far better now than if I had stayed at ICI.

The thing to remember is that if you're doing two jobs then they won't change while you put up with it.  If you leave they will have to get two people to replace you or may get two other people to do two regions which I imagine would be difficult so I think you're in a pretty strong position.  Let them know you're unhappy, are looking elsewhere and will move if things don't improve.


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## fundy (Jan 17, 2020)

Yes have done so twice in the past and left there and then, both times feeling I was put in a position that was unresolvable by the owner of the company,  as an accountant at the time jobs were aplenty and had full faith I would have the pick of jobs (which ultimately i did) but I certainly would not have stayed another day in 1 of the jobs even if I wasnt sure about getting another job (as staying wouldve have potentially risked my whole career anyway)

You need to assess how easy it will be to get another job and whether its worth trying to stick it out until you find one or not


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## Hobbit (Jan 17, 2020)

Request a formal meeting with HR. Explain the efforts you’ve made in the past to resolve this - hopefully you have emails to support this, and tell them it’s become a work related health issue.

As blunt as it might seem, go direct to HR over your boss’s head.

If you want to walk without a job to go to that’s entirely your choice. Personally, I’d go down the health route first.


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## Tashyboy (Jan 17, 2020)

Me I would make it quite simple, I would let it be known that “ I am looking for another job”. If they don’t give a monkeys, Then you know you are doing the right thing. I they ask you why tell them and don’t hold back. If you love your job, then you can fight for it. But I would not jump without another job. That said I don’t know your circumstances re mortgage and family etc.


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## Doon frae Troon (Jan 17, 2020)

Hobbit said:



			Request a formal meeting with HR. Explain the efforts you’ve made in the past to resolve this - hopefully you have emails to support this, and tell them it’s become a work related health issue.

As blunt as it might seem, go direct to HR over your boss’s head.

If you want to walk without a job to go to that’s entirely your choice. Personally, I’d go down the health route first.
		
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That is sound advice in your circumstances.
Looks like your health is suffering because of your company's work place actions.

Mind you I knew someone who worked in the Gambling sector and it was high pressure dog eat dog stuff.
She was very highly paid so stuck it out for a few years to build a nest egg then quit.

I quit my last job 20 years ago due to lack of support and leadership issues.
When the Director read my detailed letter of resignation he just looked up, laughed, and said 'I see there is no point in me trying to persuade you to stay'
4 Weeks later I got an offer to go back as a consultant to finish a major stalled project. I went in for a meeting and when it came to mentioning fees I asked for a silly amount.
They politely declined.


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## Lilyhawk (Jan 17, 2020)

Thanks all for the replies given. 

I'll have a good think over this weekend over how to  handle this. Some here have already met me and may know that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve from time to time. I can be very impulsive and make rash decisions that I later come to regret. On the other hand I'm probably the most conflict scared person you'd ever meet, so a thing like this is a big one for me. I've previously dealt with depression/anxiety on and off for quite a few years time, and I start to see way to many familiar patterns emerging at the moment. 

Come Monday, I hope I've gathered enough self esteem to ask my line manager for a chat to let my feelings known. 

Thanks all again for the response, really appreciated.


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## IanM (Jan 17, 2020)

Good advice... always talk before you walk....   a*nd don't see this as conflict.*... cos it is not.  If you were a the boss and had a team member with a grievance.. you would prefer them to come and talk to you about it, wouldn't you.  This is the way to remove the anxiety... explain how you feel and what you need.   If they don't act, they don't deserve you as an employee.

- I left a job without another to go too, but only after I'd tried to resolve it.

- and on the other point.  I got a "name your price" offer from a tobacco company once - I laughed and said I wouldn't work for them whatever they offered.


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## Stuart_C (Jan 17, 2020)

If you are comfortable enough financially to not work for a couple of months I'd leave asap.

If not then grin and bear it and look for something sharpish.

Best of luck fella.


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## Doon frae Troon (Jan 17, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Thanks all for the replies given.

I'll have a good think over this weekend over how to  handle this. Some here have already met me and may know that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve from time to time. I can be very impulsive and make rash decisions that I later come to regret. On the other hand I'm probably the most conflict scared person you'd ever meet, so a thing like this is a big one for me. I've previously dealt with depression/anxiety on and off for quite a few years time, and I start to see way to many familiar patterns emerging at the moment.

Come Monday, I hope I've gathered enough self esteem to ask my line manager for a chat to let my feelings known.

Thanks all again for the response, really appreciated.
		
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Well done, I would request that a member of your company's HR also attends that meeting.
{Hoping HR is still a term used for the old Personnel Dept.}


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## Bazzatron (Jan 17, 2020)

Sounds an awful situation to be in, speaking to the boss has to be the first port call, HR will ask you that first so don't delay that bit, then straight to HR who have a duty of care to their employees.


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## Bazzatron (Jan 17, 2020)

Failing that, wait until summer and get signed off. Play everyday then.


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## IanM (Jan 17, 2020)

I thought you won enough in sweep money to not work!


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## Lilyhawk (Jan 17, 2020)

IanM said:



			I thought you won enough in sweep money to not work!
		
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😂😂😂


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## Papas1982 (Jan 17, 2020)

Golf is expensive fella. I’d start looking around and also try and get a proper line of meetings set up to put your point across. 

Your op appears to cover it all imo. 

Also, as and when you do leave. Don’t forget to give us all a heads up of what odds you’ve stacked up 😂😂😂


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## Griffsters (Jan 17, 2020)

Being in a job you hate can be soul destroying, make a change. I worked in IT for years as 2nd / 3rd line support but it bored me silly for a large proportion of it but I was stuck there due to family and commitments. I didn't have the experience in other fields to get an equivalent paying role. Long story short, I worked out what was the bottom line i needed to earn to live and looked at roles I *wanted* to do that would get me experience. Cut my cloth according to means and all that, other half was great and daughter was by this time more self sufficient. Four years later it has literally just come together, new year saw a job offer that I see as vindication of the decision.

I took  severance package that whilst not exactly massive gave me a little breathing room, so f your company does anything like that might be worth asking... I left and got minimum wage work to start just to keep money coming it. There were times when I literally thought 'WTF have I done' but gradually things improved as I progressed through various roles gaining valuable experience.

Good luck.


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## Captainron (Jan 17, 2020)

You only need 1 kidney. I’ve seen you drink......


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## Griffsters (Jan 17, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Thanks all for the replies given.

I'll have a good think over this weekend over how to  handle this. Some here have already met me and may know that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve from time to time. I can be very impulsive and make rash decisions that I later come to regret. On the other hand I'm probably the most conflict scared person you'd ever meet, so a thing like this is a big one for me. *I've previously dealt with depression/anxiety on and off for quite a few years time, and I start to see way to many familiar patterns emerging at the moment.*

Come Monday, I hope I've gathered enough self esteem to ask my line manager for a chat to let my feelings known.

Thanks all again for the response, really appreciated.
		
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I absolutely get where you are coming from and a lot of my issues came from poor work life balance, lack of personal fulfilment that lead to self esteem issues and a vicious downward spiral personally. Work is a massive part of life that affects everything, particularly if it is stressful and very demanding like you say. I'd say just be honest with yourself about what outcome you want and where you would like to be then make a plan to get there. Money isn't everything.


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## HomerJSimpson (Jan 17, 2020)

I ended up doing two full time roles like the OP. I was doing the medical recruitment role I had been taken on in. looking after everything to do with the rotational doctors that usually come in August and February. At the time there was a temp being paid via an agency sitting next to me doing locum cover for all areas of the trust on a daily basis when there were gaps due to sickness or long term bookings were coming up for renewal or required. As part of cost cuts she was let go and I got her role on top of mine

I managed to stick it for just over three years but it really had an impact on my health and I really felt unable to provide a level of service I was happy with. I was on the verge of walking out and like the OP with nothing lined up but couldn't face the financial uncertainty or really be able to cope with not working financially for any period of times. I raised it in my one-to-ones raised it with HR but as the role was attached to the HR function that got short shrift and basically told to put up or shut up. Fortunately in September 2018 I got the role I have now and haven't been happier in the trust for many many years. I was lucky though and I empathise with the OP. It is a tough decision. 

I did think about getting signed off sick with stress but knowing how HR used absence to start managing some employees out (sad but true and I certain not just in the NHS) and knowing the workload would be there plus a backlog if I returned it didn't seem an option. I ran it past the union rep (off record) but there wasn't a lot they seemed able to do. I hope the OP can come to a decision that works. I was really concerned leaving with nothing to go to especially at my age in the job market and how that would look and having to defend the inevitable questions at any future interview


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## Dando (Jan 17, 2020)

If you’re unemployed then you can bugger off back to your own country! Why should my taxes pay for lazy scroungers who are better golfers than me

🤣😂🤣😂


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## GB72 (Jan 17, 2020)

I have taken a gamble before by asking for a meeting to discuss workloads and my opening line was that the outcome of the meeting would decide whether I handed in my notice at the end of it. Surprisingly everything got sorted pretty quickly thereafter


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## Slab (Jan 18, 2020)

Lots of good advice for the OP
... Let's start on the tangents... 



HomerJSimpson said:



			I ended up doing two full time roles like the OP. I was doing the medical recruitment role I had been taken on in. looking after everything to do with the rotational doctors that usually come in August and February. At the time there was a temp being paid via an agency sitting next to me doing locum cover for all areas of the trust on a daily basis when there were gaps due to sickness or long term bookings were coming up for renewal or required. As part of cost cuts she was let go and I got her role on top of mine

I managed to stick it for just over three years but it really had an impact on my health and I really felt unable to provide a level of service I was happy with. I was on the verge of walking out and like the OP with nothing lined up but couldn't face the financial uncertainty or really be able to cope with not working financially for any period of times. I raised it in my one-to-ones raised it with HR but as the role was attached to the HR function that got short shrift and basically told to put up or shut up. Fortunately in September 2018 I got the role I have now and haven't been happier in the trust for many many years. I was lucky though and I empathise with the OP. It is a tough decision. 

I did think about getting signed off sick with stress but knowing how HR used absence to start managing some employees out (sad but true and I certain not just in the NHS) and knowing the workload would be there plus a backlog if I returned it didn't seem an option. I ran it past the union rep (off record) but there wasn't a lot they seemed able to do. I hope the OP can come to a decision that works. I was really concerned leaving with nothing to go to especially at my age in the job market and how that would look and having to defend the inevitable questions at any future interview
		
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Homer what's so sad about managing our some of the employees with absence problems? 

Providing it's the fakers and wastrals that ultimately get ousted then crack on I say


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## Smiffy (Jan 18, 2020)

A lot depends on how actively you are looking for a new job.
Sometimes saying "stuff it" and walking out gives you the kick up the arse you need to get something else.


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## Dibby (Jan 18, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			I've spoken to managers on several occasions before about workload, but nothing seem to get better, but just more work getting piled on. I'm an anxious person as is, but this is really starting to take it's toll now. Some friends have just said to "work less" and look for other things in the mean time, *but I can't work less, cause I'm not in a line of work where I can delay things and just show up doing nothing. Campaigns and comms to customers has to go out.*

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Lots of good advice already, one thing that hasn't been covered is why the above is true? What would happen if you didn't complete a campaign? Unfortunately, you may already have set a precedent by accepting more work, in my experience whenever an inch is given a mile is taken. I've seen it so often, workloads are increased, an odd extra hour turns into a regular pattern, suddenly teams are working 7 days a week.

You may not quite have reached the above extreme yet, but what happens if you don't complete your workload? Providing you are not negligent, doing nothing is clearly not ok, but if you work at the same rate as all your colleagues and you communicate clearly ("By close of business today I will be able to complete X,Y,Z and A,B,C will be completed tomorrow") any sensible manager would notice the risk and spread the load more appropriately, I imagine the only reason they haven't yet is because you keep completing everything successfully.

The alternative is if you are willing to do the work of 2 people, then make it worthwhile, if you got paid 1.5 times the pay for the job but produced twice as much as everyone else, everyone is winning, the company doesn't have to pay 2 people and you get a bunch of cash to waste on golf kit. It may be too late here as the company has already seen you were willing to do more for less, so it depends whether they think they could replace you with someone similar or if they see your value, no harm in asking though.


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## duncan mackie (Jan 18, 2020)

Couple of points that don't seem to have been made

1. Leaving without anywhere to go could leave you in an even more stressful predicament, and with no obvious solutions if you struggle to get something. At least you currently know you have a choice fully under your control.

2. Print out a bullet point sheet and give it to your manager when you meet to discuss. Take your time setting it out and wording it ( e.g. never use 'can't' - use 'struggling to balance' etc. This does two things, provides a reminder to you on language and focus areas when in the meeting.

3. Follow-up the meeting in writing with direct reference to the sheet and what's been agreed (hopefully positively) by both parties. It should not be capable of being read as a list of demands!

All the best


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## harpo_72 (Jan 18, 2020)

Some very good advice, but I would say have a plan and be prepared for the unexpected and the down right stupid.
Talk to your doctor about stress, make sure it’s recorded. You don’t have to use it but it might come in handy down the line .. and give you some phrases that get the HR teams ears.
With respect to HR, they work for the company, not for you. In the end they will protect the company if you push them. Don’t have any expectations of them , I hope they pleasantly surprise you. 

Reading between the lines, I think your capable at what you do and seen as an asset. But a good manager manages their assets and protects them. If your manager knows his/her business they will move heaven and earth to keep you in good form. They should be asking you what you need as support how they can help etc .. then make it happen. 

And no don’t walk, not until your ready. Look for solutions but don’t be afraid to play the system, after all, they will.


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## IanM (Jan 18, 2020)

Most HR teams also dont want their organisation sued for bad practice.   

Talk to your boss.  Be honest and helpful.   If they are worth working for they will be supportive. If not, it tells you plenty 

Talk to your doc 

Talk to you friends.   

It's fixable.  All the best


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## harpo_72 (Jan 18, 2020)

IanM said:



			Most HR teams also dont want their organisation sued for bad practice
		
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Yes that is what you would expect. But employment law won’t really prevent bad practice unless it’s a racial/ sexual malpractice. If it’s a clear breach of law, HR will take the risk ... employment law needs to improve in these areas. If you were guaranteed as the evidence is clear the penalties should be applied, but they are not always and there is some inconsistency making the risk worth taking for the HR teams.


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## Liverbirdie (Jan 18, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Thanks all for the replies given.

I'll have a good think over this weekend over how to  handle this. Some here have already met me and may know that I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve from time to time. I can be very impulsive and make rash decisions that I later come to regret. On the other hand I'm probably the most conflict scared person you'd ever meet, so a thing like this is a big one for me. I've previously dealt with depression/anxiety on and off for quite a few years time, and I start to see way to many familiar patterns emerging at the moment.

Come Monday, I hope I've gathered enough self esteem to ask my line manager for a chat to let my feelings known.

Thanks all again for the response, really appreciated.
		
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Hope it goes well, lar.


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## pendodave (Jan 19, 2020)

Apologies if this has been suggested already, but why not just find another job? No need to hand in notice or anything, just get cracking while in your current role. In my experience, workplaces don't change their way of working very much, and even if they say they will, things soon creep back to normal.
There are two advantages of this, firstly you might find something better. Secondly, this is something you have completed control of, unlike your current situation, and this feeling of 'agency' can be quite invigorating and positive.
Good luck whatever you choose, being unhappy at work is no fun at all.


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## Jamesbrown (Jan 19, 2020)

Walked out of two jobs. Best thing I’ve ever done, would do it again if I had to. 

Get a sick note for stress, take 6 month off to find another job and get paid. 
It’s immoral but you only work there, you don’t own it, your just a biological machine.


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## Lord Tyrion (Jan 19, 2020)

Dibby said:



			Lots of good advice already, one thing that hasn't been covered is why the above is true? What would happen if you didn't complete a campaign? Unfortunately, you may already have set a precedent by accepting more work, in my experience whenever an inch is given a mile is taken. I've seen it so often, workloads are increased, an odd extra hour turns into a regular pattern, suddenly teams are working 7 days a week.

You may not quite have reached the above extreme yet, but what happens if you don't complete your workload? Providing you are not negligent, doing nothing is clearly not ok, but if you work at the same rate as all your colleagues and you communicate clearly ("By close of business today I will be able to complete X,Y,Z and A,B,C will be completed tomorrow") any sensible manager would notice the risk and spread the load more appropriately, I imagine the only reason they haven't yet is because you keep completing everything successfully.

The alternative is if you are willing to do the work of 2 people, then make it worthwhile, if you got paid 1.5 times the pay for the job but produced twice as much as everyone else, everyone is winning, the company doesn't have to pay 2 people and you get a bunch of cash to waste on golf kit. It may be too late here as the company has already seen you were willing to do more for less, so it depends whether they think they could replace you with someone similar or if they see your value, no harm in asking though.
		
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I think this is a very good point. We get a lot of courier drivers coming to us at work and quite frequently I hear the complaint that the depot are trying to load an additional route onto their vehicle. The new ones flog themselves to do it, the wily ones take a whole load of parcels back to the depot and tell the managers the extra is not possible. That only has to happen a couple of times for the load to be reduced to a standard level. 

The OP is currently being taken advantage of by his bosses but unfortunately he is carrying out all of the actual load. A realignment needs to take place to bring him back to a realistic workload . 

Whatever the OP decides, make sure you put your health first. Good luck.


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## HomerJSimpson (Jan 19, 2020)

I walked out of a job after three days. Role expectation nothing like the advertised role and the one I interviewed for. I simply told the manager I wouldn't claim for the three days pay due, wouldn't work my notice and as far as the CV goes the job never happened. Felt a very big decision for me as I'm usually someone that likes order and clarity in my life so jumping with nothing to go to went against the grain. Worked out in the end but not something I'd consider now


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## Lilyhawk (Jan 19, 2020)

Didn’t expect it to be about 50 answers to this if I’m honest, so once again thanks all for the feedback. 

Have already started sending out a few applications for other jobs, and will continue doing so in the coming weeks as I believe I’ve passed the point of no return regarding the situation at work, and cannot see what changes could be put in place for any improvements to come from it. 

Having been thinking of this quite a lot over the weekend, I do realise I have myself to blame partly for the situation, as I’ve been taking on extra work since day one, but yeah, it’s really starting to take its toll now mentally with not a day passing by without feeling that it’s just a matter of playing catch-up and not being ahead.


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## HomerJSimpson (Jan 19, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Didn’t expect it to be about 50 answers to this if I’m honest, so once again thanks all for the feedback.

Have already started sending out a few applications for other jobs, and will continue doing so in the coming weeks as I believe I’ve passed the point of no return regarding the situation at work, and cannot see what changes could be put in place for any improvements to come from it.

Having been thinking of this quite a lot over the weekend, I do realise I have myself to blame partly for the situation, as I’ve been taking on extra work since day one, but yeah, it’s really starting to take its toll now mentally with not a day passing by without feeling that it’s just a matter of playing catch-up and not being ahead.
		
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Have the chat with the manager and see what happens but most importantly take care of yourself especially if you see some depression triggers and signs emerging.


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## Blue in Munich (Jan 19, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Didn’t expect it to be about 50 answers to this if I’m honest, so once again thanks all for the feedback.

Have already started sending out a few applications for other jobs, and will continue doing so in the coming weeks as I believe I’ve passed the point of no return regarding the situation at work, and cannot see what changes could be put in place for any improvements to come from it.

Having been thinking of this quite a lot over the weekend,* I do realise I have myself to blame partly for the situation,* as I’ve been taking on extra work since day one, but yeah, it’s really starting to take its toll now mentally with not a day passing by without feeling that it’s just a matter of playing catch-up and not being ahead.
		
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Taking on extra work, or being given extra work?  Big difference, and you've been given the extra work in this instance so this is *NOT* on you.

Completely different field of work, but very similar situation, 3 of us have 2 regions, 5 of us have 1 region.  Former boss acknowledged that there was a work imbalance & said that "the team" needed to find a way around it.  Obviously that involved some people taking on more work so guess what, nothing changed.  New boss & a slight change of reporting system mean that we now have a more informal reporting system.  New boss tells me that in recent meetings he has been approached by other team members behind my back who have asked him what can be about it as they were concerned about my stress levels.  One of them has run some reports showing the current disparity in levels (which was quite shocking as I have nearly 3 times the level of work of the lowest team member) and so hopefully there is some light at the end of the tunnel.  That said I'm not holding my breath as these figures showed that we are carrying a pair of lazy sods of the first order.

Any chance there are people there who would be prepared to do the same for you, or has it got beyond that?  Either way it goes I wish you the best with it as I know that feeling of playing catch up rather than being ahead of the game and it ain't fun.


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## Hobbit (Jan 20, 2020)

Burning "go-to" people; this was one of my pet issues, which I raised at numerous meetings down the years. I'd hear managers talk about Joe Bloggs doing a great job, and Joe Bloggs doing great things, and Joe Bloggs doing great things. 

First of all, recognise, respect and reward them for their efforts. Acknowledge to them that their work is at a level that is recognised as being exemplary. Ask them are they ok working at that level over a period of time, and tell them its ok to ease off occasionally. Let other team members see and hear you, as a manager, acknowledging the extra effort. And, as a manager, ask yourself is it healthy to have someone working at that level over a sustained period.

Next, look at the rest of the team. Can the load be spread? Is Fred Smith 'hiding behind' Joe Bloggs' efforts, i.e. are you as a manager rewarding poor performance by leaving Fred alone whilst Joe is picking up extra work? Is it a training issue for the rest of the team? Is another team member required?

Pretty much every manager has "go-to" people. Its a natural result of group dynamics, and of the "peer-prodigy" relationships that develop in hierarchical management structures. But a good manager will manage those relationships and the workloads constructively. 

At the monthly management meeting we'd go through the sick, lame and lazy list. Who was off and why. What could we do to support them. We'd also discuss the reasons behind anyone handing in their notice. For me, burning "go-to" people wasn't acceptable, and my management team knew that.


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## need_my_wedge (Jan 20, 2020)

Have done it once before, when much younger. Had out of hours cover added to our role on a trial basis, promised a set sum for the trial, then negotiation to make it permanent if it worked. It was successful, the set sum never materialized for the trial period, and a new rota with out of hours cover appeared with no negotiation for the additional work. Took it up with our then director in a meeting with the team, his exact words were "you can like it or F*$k off". I quit on the spot. In those days, I was on 3 months notice, got marched out by security that morning, and paid the three months noice by the company. Started a new job a week later, got lucky that time.

There has already been some good advice on here, I don't know how old you are, or what commitments you have, so if I was you, I would look for a new job before handing any notice in. It just gives peace of mind.


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## Blue in Munich (Jan 20, 2020)

Hobbit said:



			Burning "go-to" people; this was one of my pet issues, which I raised at numerous meetings down the years. I'd hear managers talk about Joe Bloggs doing a great job, and Joe Bloggs doing great things, and Joe Bloggs doing great things. 

First of all, recognise, respect and reward them for their efforts. Acknowledge to them that their work is at a level that is recognised as being exemplary. Ask them are they ok working at that level over a period of time, and tell them its ok to ease off occasionally. Let other team members see and hear you, as a manager, acknowledging the extra effort. And, as a manager, ask yourself is it healthy to have someone working at that level over a sustained period.

Next, look at the rest of the team. Can the load be spread? Is Fred Smith 'hiding behind' Joe Bloggs' efforts, i.e. are you as a manager rewarding poor performance by leaving Fred alone whilst Joe is picking up extra work? Is it a training issue for the rest of the team? Is another team member required?

Pretty much every manager has "go-to" people. Its a natural result of group dynamics, and of the "peer-prodigy" relationships that develop in hierarchical management structures. But a good manager will manage those relationships and the workloads constructively. 

At the monthly management meeting we'd go through the sick, lame and lazy list. Who was off and why. What could we do to support them. We'd also discuss the reasons behind anyone handing in their notice. For me, burning "go-to" people wasn't acceptable, and my management team knew that.
		
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How familiar does that sound; very! 

Don’t suppose you fancy coming back do you Brian?


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## Hobbit (Jan 20, 2020)

Blue in Munich said:



			How familiar does that sound; very!

Don’t suppose you fancy coming back do you Brian?
		
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To be honest Richard I don't miss the daily drudge of achieving the sales and service number, of the training academy hitting the bums on seats requirements or of admin processing all the orders. Was the JIT process in the warehouse achieving the right numbers, and were they shipping on time. And on it goes with quality, H&S, HR etc etc.

However, I really do miss the HR bits, of developing individuals and seeing them be promoted or move onto opportunities we couldn't offer them. I have been tempted to come back and do some consultancy work, developing managers. And I have turned down 3 months in the US doing it, knowing that 3 months becomes 4 and then there's the telephone support expected when the team goes 'live.'

But then I open another bottle of Rioja...


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## williamalex1 (Jan 20, 2020)

I walked out of a couple of jobs in the early 60s but there was plenty of other jobs available back then, and I was young free and single 
I always remember the  old Johnny Paycheck song, Take this Job and Stuff It I aint working here no more.


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## Liverbirdie (Jan 20, 2020)

Have you ever manged Molde? 

May be a highly-paid job going in the north west, soon.


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## Imurg (Jan 20, 2020)

Back in the 80's one of my best mates worked as a sales rep for Biffa the skip/rubbish bunch.
He told me that a few of the other reps almost took it in turns to hand in their notice, go into a meeting with the boss and come out with a pay rise.
Until one day, an unsuspecting chancer came out with a P45...
They didn't try again.....


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## Lilyhawk (Jan 24, 2020)

Ok, so just a little update. 

During the bi-weekly 1-2-1 with my boss I raised the issues that I have regarding all the extra work, how many more hours it actually comes to etc etc. 

To be honest we have touched upon the subject before, but not in the same way as yesterday. As I am a bit of a wimp I didn't say straight out that I am or will be looking for something new if nothing changes, but I think it must've shone through that I'm not very happy with how things are currently. 

He's always been quite sympathetic with how I've been feeling, but I also know that he's not the top dog, so he can only pass it on up the food chain. He replied to me today saying that the powers higher up will look at the team structure and see what we can do. I'll take their word for it for now and crack on for a little while longer. Time will tell when I have my next breakdown. I promise not to start a new thread here, but at least have the courtesy to continue on this one instead.


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## Liverbirdie (Jan 24, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Ok, so just a little update.

During the bi-weekly 1-2-1 with my boss I raised the issues that I have regarding all the extra work, how many more hours it actually comes to etc etc.

To be honest we have touched upon the subject before, but not in the same way as yesterday. As I am a bit of a wimp I didn't say straight out that I am or will be looking for something new if nothing changes, but I think it must've shone through that I'm not very happy with how things are currently.

He's always been quite sympathetic with how I've been feeling, but I also know that he's not the top dog, so he can only pass it on up the food chain. He replied to me today saying that the powers higher up will look at the team structure and see what we can do. I'll take their word for it for now and crack on for a little while longer. Time will tell when I have my next breakdown. I promise not to start a new thread here, but at least have the courtesy to continue on this one instead. 

Click to expand...

At least you have said your piece, there is a lot to be said for not keeping it bottled up.

Hope things ease or good look with the job hunting.


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## Doh (Jan 24, 2020)

I am sure getting off your chest will have been helpful to you, just don’t let it drift longer than you need to.


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## Robster59 (Jan 24, 2020)

Doh said:



			I am sure getting off your chest will have been helpful to you, just don’t let it drift longer than you need to.
		
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This.  Making the right noises is one thing, getting something done is another matter entirely.


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

Well, it took a couple of weeks, but it was inevitable. The big mental breakdown came this Monday when it all just swept over me. The last 2 days have been spent looking out the window when I haven’t been tucked under the duvet crying for nothing. 

Sent a message to my boss yesterday afternoon and asked to have a conversation first thing in the morning today together with his boss as well. 

Laid it all out, my previous history of anxiety/depression, the melt down, the workload and stress. It was harder to talk about then what I expected, but it feels good now I didn’t hold anything back. 

They’re going to sit down today to look at what tasks they can shift off from me ASAP. 

They sent me home and told me to come back on Monday and To try not to think about work at all and just rest. 

Hopefully there will be some change for the better. At the same time, it’s also obvious that I myself have quite some work to do to give myself the best chance of being happy and as free from stress and anxiety as I can be, both at and outside of work.


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## chrisd (Feb 13, 2020)

Best wishes, lets hope it all gets sorted for you and that the only future worry you have is whether you'll make the next 10 foot putt 😋


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## Wolf (Feb 13, 2020)

Take it easy for a few days days let yourself have a chance reset and do something that makes you smile. Little wins each day no matter what they are will help, if you ever need a chat theres many on here happy to listen and even pm me or others we may not always be able to do much but we can share amongst us in some way.


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

chrisd said:



			Best wishes, lets hope it all gets sorted for you and that the only future worry you have is whether you'll make the next 10 foot putt 😋
		
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It’s the 2-3 footers I worry about, not the 10!


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## rksquire (Feb 13, 2020)

Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention.  I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional.  I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being.  As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

rksquire said:



			Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention.  I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional.  I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being.  As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.
		
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Thanks for encouraging words. I have been through this before unfortunately, and I believe that a part of me just simply have tried to convince myself that I’m not going down the same route again. Obviously, I’ve been telling lies to myself, but at least I’ve come to terms with it now. First thing I did on Tuesday morning after calling in sick was to go and sign up for a GP. Have never been registered for a GP in the UK before, so it’ll take some time for the registration to go through and then to be able to get an appointment. 
So, a few steps in the right direction, and a lot more to be taken (getting back to training, meditation, book appointment with doctor, medication (possibly), and also just in general try to be a bit kinder to myself. 
For those here that have played golf with me, they know what I’m talking about. In the big picture, that may seem a very tiny thing, if it would have an effect at all, but how I beat myself up there on the course is how I do in every other scenario in life as well.


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## rksquire (Feb 13, 2020)

You'll get there - you're doing the right things, don't run away from it (which you're not) and accept all the help bring offered.  Your golf analogy is interesting, it's easier said than done, but in the moment allow yourself to be disappointed with the shot or round, but don't dwell on it or beat yourself up about it.  Golf is often a torture at the best of times!  Good luck, and be proud of yourself for the steps you've taken.


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## HomerJSimpson (Feb 13, 2020)

You'll get there. Recognising the problem is actually a massive step. HID has had depression (and self-harm) issues and recently said she feels like she's back on a downward spiral. Stuff at work not going tickety boo but she's actively working through that but it's taking a toll. She's already spoken with her GP and had an initial chat with the local Talking Therapies the GP sorted for her. She knows it's a long road ahead but we'll get there together

I hope from Lilyhawk's perspective that if nothing else, dumping everything out in that meeting was cathartic and a line drawn in the sand from which to move forward from. Keep positive and never be scared to vent on here if you have the need


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## Patster1969 (Feb 13, 2020)

The other thing I would say is does your company have an EAP (employee assistance programme) as an employee benefit, as these usually offer confidential one on one phone (& sometimes face-to-face) counseling through a third party provider, so nothing is reported back to the employer?  When I was struggling last year, they were really helpful to talk to and also offer advice.


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## Imurg (Feb 13, 2020)

It's not easy to go away for a few days and not think about work when its work that's made you go away for a few days
I was in the same boat in 2002 and 2003.
Pressure of work etc etc
Cracked, took time off, didn't go back.
That's when I started the training to be a driving instructor. 
Good luck with whatever it takes to get your head back on properly. 
There will always be an ear to listen on the Forum.


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## Blue in Munich (Feb 13, 2020)

Well done for taking the next step, it's not easy.  Stick with it, and keep a record of everything that happens should you need it later.   All the best with it & as others have said, there's more than a few sympathetic ears on here if you need them.


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

Patster1969 said:



			The other thing I would say is does your company have an EAP (employee assistance programme) as an employee benefit, as these usually offer confidential one on one phone (& sometimes face-to-face) counseling through a third party provider, so nothing is reported back to the employer?  When I was struggling last year, they were really helpful to talk to and also offer advice.
		
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I’m gonna speak to HR once back in and see if we have anything of that sorts when I’m back in. Thanks for the tip!


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

Imurg said:



			It's not easy to go away for a few days and not think about work when its work that's made you go away for a few days
I was in the same boat in 2002 and 2003.
Pressure of work etc etc
Cracked, took time off, didn't go back.
That's when I started the training to be a driving instructor. 
Good luck with whatever it takes to get your head back on properly. 
There will always be an ear to listen on the Forum.

Click to expand...

That is true, but my feeling is that they did take on board what I was saying now and that if nothing changes I will leave, whether I want to or not. At least it does feel like I can breathe now without this massive lump in my stomach for the time being, so let’s hope change is actually coming!


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## Dando (Feb 13, 2020)

Just remember you’re not the only in this situation mate.

Have you got access to counselling as I’ve had 10 sessions via my firms health insurance and I was amazed how easy it was to talk to a stranger and I feel so much better for it

As Jon said, no excuses not to come to Paris now


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## Lilyhawk (Feb 13, 2020)

Dando said:



			Just remember you’re not the only in this situation mate.

Have you got access to counselling as I’ve had 10 sessions via my firms health insurance and I was amazed how easy it was to talk to a stranger and I feel so much better for it

As Jon said, no excuses not to come to Paris now
		
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Thanks! Im gonna look into it first thing when I’m back in to see if we have anything similar. 

Hehe, afraid Paris is still off the cards...


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## Dando (Feb 13, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Thanks! Im gonna look into it first thing when I’m back in to see if we have anything similar.

Hehe, afraid Paris is still off the cards...
		
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If your worried about not getting back into the uk I’m sure we’ll be able to smuggle you in


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## Lincoln Quaker (Feb 13, 2020)

Nice one Jakob for letting them know the issues. 

Hopefully they will do all that’s right to keep you and make sure you enjoy your job.


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## Blue in Munich (Feb 13, 2020)

Dando said:



			If your worried about not getting back into the uk I’m sure we’ll be able to smuggle you in
		
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Lying git; you were going to abandon him there to give the rest of us a chance at H4H!


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## Dando (Feb 13, 2020)

Blue in Munich said:



			Lying git; you were going to abandon him there to give the rest of us a chance at H4H!
		
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Oh crap, sorry guys!


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## Tashyboy (Feb 13, 2020)

rksquire said:



			Anxiety, stress, fear, the feeling of being overwhelmed and depression (in general, not suggesting these are all applicable here), indeed anything that affects mental health, is nothing to be embarrassed about and - even if you don't feel like this is true - you have taken a great and brave first step in recognizing it and in bringing it to your companies attention.  I don't know your personal situation, but certainly reducing workload and pressure will help, but I would also recommend you have a conversation with your doctor or if you can afford it another healthcare professional.  I am no professional (as my golf handicap would indicate!) but issues like this can be cyclical so getting some assistance, comfort or being taught certain techniques will be beneficial for your future well being.  As I've said, you've taken a massive step in talking about it, even here, as I know many people would to continue to bottle it up and that is unhealthy, but I would also encourage you now that you have taken that step to go one step further.
		
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As good a post I have read on here for some time. 👍


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## Jacko_G (Feb 13, 2020)

Lilyhawk said:



			Well, it took a couple of weeks, but it was inevitable. The big mental breakdown came this Monday when it all just swept over me. The last 2 days have been spent looking out the window when I haven’t been tucked under the duvet crying for nothing.

Sent a message to my boss yesterday afternoon and asked to have a conversation first thing in the morning today together with his boss as well.

Laid it all out, my previous history of anxiety/depression, the melt down, the workload and stress. It was harder to talk about then what I expected, but it feels good now I didn’t hold anything back.

They’re going to sit down today to look at what tasks they can shift off from me ASAP.

They sent me home and told me to come back on Monday and To try not to think about work at all and just rest.

Hopefully there will be some change for the better. At the same time, it’s also obvious that I myself have quite some work to do to give myself the best chance of being happy and as free from stress and anxiety as I can be, both at and outside of work.
		
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That takes courage. I respect you even more that you typed that on a public forum.

You have a lot more courage than you think. 

Stick in and good luck, also don't go back until you are ready.

👍


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## Liverbirdie (Feb 13, 2020)

Things will get better at one point, now you have shown a great strength.

It may be days, weeks or even months, but at some point you will be proud of yourself and hopefully you'll get a better job (dont just judge it on the wages, but on the whole job package).

You'll come through it and when you do raise a glass to yourself, fella. Best of British, Jakob, most impressive bi-lingual swearer I know.


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## ConorReact21 (Jan 29, 2021)

So, that's risky but you should leave your current job. I've got similar situation due to the fact that I couldn't stand low salary and decided to change everything. Likewise, talking about your situation, I have this opinion because you are a pretty experience person and it wouldn't be a problem for you to find a new job. Moreover, you can get help with it on https://uk.jooble.org/jobs-boots-warehouse/Burton+on+Trent,-Staffordshire. At least, many of my friends found their jobs there. So I sincerely hope you'll do the same)


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## JamesR (Jan 30, 2021)

I once left a job without another one to go to. One potential to employer didn’t like it, but the others who offered work didn’t mind.


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## Anderton (Mar 9, 2021)

JamesR said:



			I once left a job without another one to go to. One potential to employer didn’t like it, but the others who offered work didn’t mind.
		
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That's a pretty common situation I think


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