# What would you do????



## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

Stepson, not for the first time, has stolen bits and pieces from the house and sold them.
Found out that he has recently stolen my wife's iPod (which I bought her for her birthday) and a Wii console (which wasn't his) and some games and sold them to a second hand shop down the road.
He is 17, 18 in July.
I am livid. He has stolen money from us before (broke into my wife's savings pot and took the best part of Â£200.00)
He ran off yesterday and has now gone to his Grandparents house for a few days until the dust settles.
He initially ran off because I said I was going to involve the Police this time.
Part of me (the biggest part) wants to do the little so & so for theft. As I say, it's not the first time he has done this. We have tried to sit down and chat with him about it, tried to instill values into him, but it does no good. Tried to get the Police to "scare the wits" out of him the last time, but they didn't bother.
My wife is heartbroken but doesn't want to involve the police as it will scupper any chance of him getting a job.
At my wits end with him.
Would YOU involve the police??? Bear in mind, it's not the 1st time he has done this, and he is going to be 18 in July.


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## DCB (May 26, 2014)

He obviously knows what he's doing or he wouldn't have run off. Tough one to answer Smiffy, but I'd say the tough love option of getting the police involved may be best in the long run. 

Know of someone who was able to continue in this style of petty theft many years ago, he ended up in a right mess by the time he was twenty.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 26, 2014)

I agree with DCB - I would bring the police into it.


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## AmandaJR (May 26, 2014)

He needs something to happen now to stop this behaviour so a scare from the police getting involved could work. Is it possible to speak to them and perhaps get a PCSO round to interview him albeit on an unofficial/off the record basis (not that he has to know that)?

I would hope that's the sort of service our police force should offer but they may just ignore your pleas for help. Worth a try?

Plus surely he has to pay back EVERYTHING??


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

The last time we had trouble with him I rang the Police. They came round and initially interviewed him. I didn't press any charges but did have a quiet word with them to see if they could take it further by calling him down to the police station for a further "interview" and to scare the crap out of him. The officer I spoke to said he would look into it. Despite me making a couple of further telephone calls to them, they didn't do it.


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## Hobbit (May 26, 2014)

One of my staff went through this. The story, still ongoing in some respects, didn't improve. What started off as petty theft, turned to violence when the lad beat up his mum for not giving him money. The lad was thrown out but returned before they changed the locks, when he then trashed the place.

Police were involved, and the official process was followed. Eventually, the lad was allowed back home but after a short while the process was repeated. By this time the root cause had been exposed - drugs. And what had started as soft drugs was by this time heroin. Very much the abridged version, as it went on for years.

If you ask the staff member now he'll tell you he wishes he'd started the 'tough love' process a lot earlier. He wishes he'd got Social Services involved whilst the lad was still a minor, and that he'd involved the police a lot sooner. Bizarrely, he says "stuff the embarrassment. We should have got help for us and the lad whilst we stood a chance of achieving something."

Its a tough one for you Smiffy. Only you and your better half know exactly where you are with this and what you need to do. Good luck.


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## Doon frae Troon (May 26, 2014)

Why is he stealing off your family?
You need to sort that question out first.

Are there other children involved in the family, if so what are their views.


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## sev112 (May 26, 2014)

Sent you a pm


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## freddielong (May 26, 2014)

Do you know why he is stealing? could he be doing drugs

I would say that if you threatened him with the police last time you have to push through with that or he will know you don't mean what you say and you are a soft touch. It really is a very tough situation and I hope that you are able to resolve it and get through as a family.


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

Doon frae Troon said:



			Why is he stealing off your family?
You need to sort that question out first.

Are there other children involved in the family, if so what are their views.
		
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As far as I know he is only stealing from us, but he has a fair bit of spare time on his hands what with College courses being a bit "all over the place" so he could (could) be stealing from elsewhere as well.
He is a habitual liar, and they trip easily off of his tongue....although after living with him since he was four I have a very good idea when he is lying or not.
He has a smoking habit (I smoke which doesn't help) but to be fair, he is mixing with a fair few lads/girls who also smoke so it was always likely he was going to start the habit anyway.
He is apparently stealing to feed his smoking habit, as when I asked him what he spent the money on his admitted tobacco.
I have broached the subject of drugs with him, and he has assured me that he hasn't dabbled with any....but again, I know the kids he mixes with, and where they come from. So whether this is true or not I don't know.
He has a twin brother who is totally the opposite. As opposed to smoking as you could possibly be, and just has his head down studying for his university place.


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

sev112 said:



			Sent you a pm
		
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Have received it Sev and it's appreciated mate. Will follow it up later as I am working today.
Rob
Cheers mate


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## Crazyface (May 26, 2014)

I'd go with involving professionals at the earliest opportunity. This will be no guarrentee of success but at least you'll have the comfort of knowing you gave him the best chance to sort himself out. The behaviour could caused by something  just messing up his head and a non family member could be able to find out what this is.  Good Luck.


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## Midnight (May 26, 2014)

Sent you a PM mate


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

Just like to say a big "Thank you" to all the replies and PM's I have received (got yours Midnight mate...thanks. And the others ) At work at the moment but will go home later and have a chat with the wife again, but as I say she is really upset about it.
The stupid thing is, at all other times Mathew (Stepson) is brilliant. First to offer a cup of tea when we come in from work, if he see's us walking down the front path with shopping in our hands he will rush to the door to open it. If I need anything doing and ask him he never refuses. It's just his continual lies and stealing that ruins everything. It's like two steps forward, one step back all the time. He has been like this since he was 11 or 12 but it has gradually been getting worse and worse. I've never laid a finger on him, always felt the word is mightier than the sword. But feck me....I've run out of ideas.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 26, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			Just like to say a big "Thank you" to all the replies and PM's I have received (got yours Midnight mate...thanks. And the others ) At work at the moment but will go home later and have a chat with the wife again, but as I say she is really upset about it.
The stupid thing is, at all other times Mathew (Stepson) is brilliant. First to offer a cup of tea when we come in from work, if he see's us walking down the front path with shopping in our hands he will rush to the door to open it. If I need anything doing and ask him he never refuses. It's just his continual lies and stealing that ruins everything. It's like two steps forward, one step back all the time. He has been like this since he was 11 or 12 but it has gradually been getting worse and worse. I've never laid a finger on him, always felt the word is mightier than the sword. But feck me....I've run out of ideas.
		
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In the group he hangs around with is he a "follower" or more of a leader ? 

Is there a girl he is trying to impress maybe ? 

It does seem that he is a good lad at heart - maybe it's an outside influence ?


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			In the group he hangs around with is he a "follower" or more of a leader ? 

Is there a girl he is trying to impress maybe ? 

It does seem that he is a good lad at heart - maybe it's an outside influence ?
		
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A "follower"

We know that there is a girl in the background, although he denies that there is anything to it other than they are "friends". I have my doubts here.

I am absolutely certain he is trying to "buy" their friendship as he suffers very much from low self esteem.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 26, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			A "follower"

We know that there is a girl in the background, although he denies that there is anything to it other than they are "friends". I have my doubts here.

I am absolutely certain he is trying to "buy" their friendship as he suffers very much from low self esteem.
		
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Yeah it certainly seems that way - need to find a way to break that chain to those people and then tackle the self esteem 

It's very tough situation to deal with and I'm unsure now about involving the police ? Maybe there is something his brother could do ?


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

As I mentioned earlier, he is now at his Grandparents. His Uncle is in the Army, and has contacted the wife this afternoon. 
He hasn't told Matthew yet but he is planning on taking him to see an Army friend of his on Wednesday. Apparently he is ex Police and built like a brick outhouse and the plan is to really lay it on thick and scare the living daylights out of him.
Mathew respects his Uncle. At one time he wanted to go into the Army based on what he had told him. Unfortunately his friends put paid to that by telling him he was an idiot for even contemplating it.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 26, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			As I mentioned earlier, he is now at his Grandparents. His Uncle is in the Army, and has contacted the wife this afternoon. 
He hasn't told Matthew yet but he is planning on taking him to see an Army friend of his on Wednesday. Apparently he is ex Police and built like a brick outhouse and the plan is to really lay it on thick and scare the living daylights out of him.
Mathew respects his Uncle. At one time he wanted to go into the Army based on what he had told him. Unfortunately his friends put paid to that by telling him he was an idiot for even contemplating it.
		
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That seems like a very good plan 

Shame his friends put him of the Army because young lads can really build a great career for themselves - certainly worth looking at again. Hopefully that can help mate


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## PhilTheFragger (May 26, 2014)

Army might be the making of him, but not with a criminal record

Its time to grow up and take responsibility for his life

not easy Rob and wish you all the best


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## c1973 (May 26, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			As I mentioned earlier, he is now at his Grandparents. His Uncle is in the Army, and has contacted the wife this afternoon. 
He hasn't told Matthew yet but he is planning on taking him to see an Army friend of his on Wednesday. Apparently he is ex Police and built like a brick outhouse and the plan is to really lay it on thick and scare the living daylights out of him.
Mathew respects his Uncle. At one time he wanted to go into the Army based on what he had told him. Unfortunately his friends put paid to that by telling him he was an idiot for even contemplating it.
		
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If the lad respects his uncle then maybe painting a great picture of army life rather than scaring the bejesus out off him might be the way to go. Show the boy what he could possibly achieve in direct comparison to what these 'friends' are achieving. I've kinda made an assumption based on the possibility they are the root cause here that they are low life's.......bit of an assumption I know, but if true worth considering.

Either way I hope you can get it sorted out, stealing from family ain't the way to go and I hope he can turn things around.


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

I was all for him going into the army. I was in there and it didn't do me any harm. Looking back, I wish I'd stayed in there longer. Great food, some great mates and earning money to boot.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 26, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			I was all for him going into the army. I was in there and it didn't do me any harm. Looking back, I wish I'd stayed in there longer. Great food, some great mates and earning money to boot.
		
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And so much more as well mate - seeing the world , sense of,achievement , life skills and qualifications that unit can't teach people.


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## Foxholer (May 26, 2014)

You have my sympathy Smiffy.

I can't help though, as when an equivalent thing happened to me, I was completely flummoxed! He's come through it in the end - again, an Uncle who he respects helped - and is doing pretty well apparently.

You'd be surprised how often this sort of thing actually happens though - it's much more 'the Rule' than a nice peaceful journey to adulthood! And it's the classic age. 

Only suggestion is to make sure he doesn't neglect his college work. Tough graft for someone with a short concentration span and lots of distractions, but worth it in the end.

He could well make a great Sales guy though. The ability to tell folk what they want to hear is a huge plus for that area! 

Good Luck!


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## 3offTheTee (May 26, 2014)

My sympathy for your problem. Does he accept you as a 'dad' as you have been there for 13 years? How is your relationship with him and how much respect does he have for you? Where is his original father and would anything be gained by him becoming involved?

What contact is there with the original father? Why do you feel he has reacted like this? 

It is all well and good us all trying to offer solutions but you are sour wife know what makes him tick or otherwise

Thinks 'kids' at that age are pretty smart and involving the police would be a last resort especially if they saw the problem through as it would affect him in later life.

Really hope it sorts itself out.


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## sandmagnet (May 26, 2014)

Rob it sounds your trying your very best and hope you sort this out! My advice is find the real problem out 1st, stealing is not the main problem, it's the why which is ie drugs,fruit machines, girl,bully's and so on.police is the last resort as you can't go back from that! And may stick a wedge between you and wife. Trouble is nowadays there is nothing much going for kids and the fall by wayside and really hope you can turn him around. Good luck and really hope you get to the bottom of it.


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## Smiffy (May 26, 2014)

3offTheTee said:



			My sympathy for your problem. Does he accept you as a 'dad' as you have been there for 13 years? How is your relationship with him and how much respect does he have for you? Where is his original father and would anything be gained by him becoming involved?

What contact is there with the original father? Why do you feel he has reacted like this? 

It is all well and good us all trying to offer solutions but you are sour wife know what makes him tick or otherwise

Thinks 'kids' at that age are pretty smart and involving the police would be a last resort especially if they saw the problem through as it would affect him in later life.

Really hope it sorts itself out.
		
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He accepts me as his Dad, he always has. I "took him on" when he and his brother (obviously) were four years of age. We get on "ok" (as much as parents and teenage kids can get on I suppose). He has been fishing with me on numerous occasions, and we chat about different things. His biological father died just after I met his Mum. He suffered from cystic fibrosis and spent the last few years mainly in hospital. Unfortunately, he is a "chip off the old block". His Father was a habitual liar, and was also into thievery. The apple didn't fall very far from the tree in this instance.


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## G1BB0 (May 26, 2014)

bad news Rob, I am going through similar with my 16 y/o daughter, tough love about to be invoked. I should have done it when she 1st started going off the rails as its now biting me in the arris big style.

Hopefully he can be turned round and will thank you later in life.


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## HomerJSimpson (May 26, 2014)

Even though we've not always seen eye to eye, I'm genuinely sad to read this Smiffy and hope you and your good lady can find a way to sort this. Not having kids I can't give you any practical advice but hope you all manage to find a way to resolve this and he can change his ways before it's too late and before too much damage to the family unit is done. I hope it gets sorted quickly


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## Oddsocks (May 26, 2014)

Rob, does he work or have any form of income? Maybe if he was earning his on money albeit on a part time basis at least the "need to thieve" may be reduced to temptation only....

Either way good luck mate.


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## jon25new (May 26, 2014)

Firstly sorry to hear the troubles your going through! The stuff he is stealing seem worth more then the money you would need to smoke with. Could he be under pressure from the people he is hanging around with? Also do you know anyone in the police who could take him to one side? I do think it will be hard in the long term if you involve the police


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## SocketRocket (May 26, 2014)

I can only suggest you both sit down with him, explain how what he is doing is upsetting you, tell him that you both love him very much and will always be there for him when he really needs someone.

If that doesn't work then try a swift kick in the gonads!


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## Andy808 (May 26, 2014)

PhilTheFragger said:



			Army might be the making of him, *but not with a criminal record*

Its time to grow up and take responsibility for his life

not easy Rob and wish you all the best
		
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Why would it make a difference?
I know several people who have had very successful careers in the forces even with a record for petty crimes in their pasts.


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## ToddM1985 (May 26, 2014)

Get the police involved, if he carries on it could be someone's car etc down the line and not just a slap on the wrists. Tough situation though when its your own family but sometimes you have to be cruel to be kind.


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## MadAdey (May 27, 2014)

This is not an uncommon situation and it pops up on programs like Jeremy Kyle all the time. Problem is by the time it gets to that point it has normally moved on from just stealing a few bits and bobs from the house. If you have tried talking to him and he is still not listening then it gets to the point where you have to act on your threats. 

Rob, this may sound harsh, but it gets to the point where he is just laughing at you because he keeps doing it and you do not do anything but make threats. You have to do something to nip this in the bud now because you do not know where it is going to go  next. Is he going to start robbing other peoples houses, stealing cars, mugging people etc etc. May sound extreme, but I bet you never thought he would be doing what he is now.

if you really our running out of options and he is still doing it the I think you know what has to be done next. Good luck Rob, hopefully you can sort this out.


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## gripitripit (May 27, 2014)

I don't know if this is gonna prove popular but I would give me a clump or 2 to show him the error of his ways....to quote Tony Soprano
"There's an old Italian saying: "You mess up once, you lose two teeth."

If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.


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## MadAdey (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			I don't know if this is gonna prove popular but I would give me a clump or 2 to show him the error of his ways....to quote Tony Soprano
"There's an old Italian saying: "You mess up once, you lose two teeth."

If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.
		
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Easy to say, harder to do. What if say for instance your 17 year old son is twice as big and sticks one back on you. Violence is never the answer IMO. If he is doing this chances are there is a reason behind it, a little bit more than because he wants to. So is giving him a thrashing going to help the situation, as now he will never talk to you again, let alone sort out why he is doing this. Maybe he then moves out, ends up staying round some morons house and gets more involved with committing crimes.

To me using violence is not an answer, the only answer violence is.....the wrong one!


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## ADB (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			I don't know if this is gonna prove popular but I would give me a clump or 2 to show him the error of his ways....to quote Tony Soprano
"There's an old Italian saying: "You mess up once, you lose two teeth."

If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.
		
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Beat some sense into him, that will get to the route of the problem......not.

Can't believe that attitude personally, but each to their own and I certainly don't judge how people bring their children up. Sure last thing Smiffy & family needs is the son to report him on assault charges.

A very difficult situation that needs a firm hand in some decisions, whilst still providing the son with family support.

Best wishes Rob, hope things improve.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			I don't know if this is gonna prove popular but I would give me a clump or 2 to show him the error of his ways....to quote Tony Soprano
"There's an old Italian saying: "You mess up once, you lose two teeth."

If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.
		
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Would suggest doing the opposite of that would be a better ploy 

Any use of violence will have the opposite effect of what you want to achieve

Yes we grew up in a time when a clip round the ear ensured we didn't do it again - it's not that time anymore


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## gripitripit (May 27, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			it's not that time anymore
		
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And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.


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## bladeplayer (May 27, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Would suggest doing the opposite of that would be a better ploy 

Any use of violence will have the opposite effect of what you want to achieve

Yes we grew up in a time when a clip round the ear ensured we didn't do it again - it's not that time anymore

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gripitripit said:



And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.
		
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While not wholeheartedly agreeing with your original statement of a thump or 2 i do agree with the above 

Tough call for Smiffy tho , dont envy him , maybe if you know a copper thru work or something to turn up in uniform but unofficialy to have a word ..

Best of Luck with it Rob


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## Liverpoolphil (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.
		
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Sorry but disagree totally 

People still showed disrespect in the 60-90's as well

Not being able to hit your child isn't the reason for lack of respect.


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## BrizoH71 (May 27, 2014)

My now ex-brother-in-law went through something similar with his eldest.

The lad was born in Germany, as BiL was stationed there in the army, before moving to Aldershot and then back to Scotland when his marriage broke down.

After they returned, the boy turned very insular and developed stealing tendencies. He stole from us, his gran, aunt, friends. The police threat calmed things down for a while, and then they would resurface.

My BiL was at his wits' end with him. He wouldn't get a job because he was on track for a criminal record, especially as at his worst he even turned to fire-raising. He went through countless social workers and counsellors, and it all seemed hopeless.

Then he was diagnosed with a form of Aspergers, and with the right treatment and support he improved a great deal. He's still a toe-rag but seems to have screwed the nut a great deal.

Certainly not saying your boy has Apergers or any form of Autism, and I'm no expert. But if all else fails, it might be worthwhile checking out in case his behaviour is linked to some form of mental or behavioural disorder.


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## ADB (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			And that is why the youth today have no respect for anyone or anything.
		
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Sweeping generalisation alert......


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## Smiffy (May 27, 2014)

With regards hitting the lad...it ain't going to happen.
I have two older kids, Harry and Lydia, who are my own.
They have never had a finger laid on them in the past, and they fully respect other people, and other peoples property.
If ever they needed "sorting out" a raised voice let them know that I wasn't happy.
This one is different.
And well done BrizoH71. The lad has been diagnosed with MILD Aspergers.


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 27, 2014)

snaphookwedge said:



			Sweeping generalisation alert......
		
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Major sweeping generalisation


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

Simple fix. Go into his room take his xbox or playstion and sell it.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 27, 2014)

hovis said:



			Simple fix. Go into his room take his xbox or playstion and sell it.
		
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If he has one and doesn't fix anything really


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			If he has one and doesn't fix anything really
		
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I disagree mate. If he learns that evertime he lifts something he loses something of the same monetary value then i bet he thinks twice.

I always remember when i pulled the head of my sisters cabbage patch doll when i was 15 (out of spite) my dad took my best computer game "mario kart" put it in the bargain pages and made me hand the cash over to my sister.  Wouldn't do that again


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## Liverpoolphil (May 27, 2014)

hovis said:



			I disagree mate. If he learns that evertime he lifts something he loses something of the same monetary value then i bet he thinks twice.

I always remember when i pulled the head of my sisters cabbage patch doll when i was 15 (out of spite) my dad took my best computer game "mario kart" put it in the bargain pages and made me hand the cash over to my sister.  Wouldn't do that again
		
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And what if he has sold all his stuff already ? 

You need to get down to the crux and heart of the issue and deal with it from there. Look at the root issues as opposed to trying quick fixes but deep down they don't fix anything.


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			And what if he has sold all his stuff already ?
		
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People pay well for a kidney


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## Liverpoolphil (May 27, 2014)

hovis said:



			People pay well for a kidney
		
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What ?


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:





What ?
		
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If he hasn't got anything left then sell a kidney.    that joke certainly crashed and burned


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## Smiffy (May 27, 2014)

He definitely has got a ps3 and an x-box in his bedroom.....they are both mine, which I had disconnected and put in our bedroom as we don't use them anymore. He saw fit to go in and connect them up in his room.
He had a new (to him) iPhone that he said he had purchased from a mate for Â£15.00 on the proceeds of the sale of the other items. I smashed that to bits.


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			He had a new (to him) iPhone that he said he had purchased from a mate for Â£15.00 on the proceeds of the sale of the other items. I smashed that to bits.
		
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Now we're talking


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## Foxholer (May 27, 2014)

gripitripit said:



			If my son ever behaves like that when he is older he will learn the hard way.
		
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And could well be understood, if not excused, when he sticks a knife into you before you do the same in a subsequent event!

As posted by others, the time when a 'clip round the ear' achieves the desired result has gone! Behaviour management is a game of chess - and the kids always play the White pieces!

@Smiffy. I think it would have been better if, rather than smashing that iPhone, had confiscated it and held it as an incentive to change behaviour - but you would have had to make it known that it was in a secure place that he couldn't get to, otherwise the incentive/challenge is for him to retrieve it (so the exercise backfires!).

Finding the right 'positive incentive trigger' is quite possibly worth the effort.

And plenty of hugs has been known to help too!


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

I think children should feel loved and cared for by their parents but i think they should have an element of fear of parents too!   I remember being in asda with my dad when i was 22. There was a 5 year old on the fooor having one almighty tantrum. I asked my dad if i had ever done that and he said " no son, you wasn't allowed "


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## Smiffy (May 27, 2014)

Foxholer said:



			@Smiffy. I think it would have been better if, rather than smashing that iPhone, had confiscated it and held it as an incentive to change behaviour
		
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How I wish I had a Â£ for every time I had done that in the past Foxholer. 
We have stopped him playing on his PC, taken his consoles and other things away from him before and given them back to him once his behaviour has settled down again. It works for a while, but he knows he is going to get them back again if he tows the line so has lost it's effectiveness.
I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson. His Mums iPad has gone forever, so has the Wii console and games thanks to his actions. Now lets see how he feels when something he has been out and "purchased" himself, albeit with stolen money, has gone the same way. I'm fed up with messing around to be honest. 
It broke my heart to see my wife so upset on Sunday. She was distraught. It was as much as I could do to hold off pogging him one, he's big enough and ugly enough to take a swipe at. But I didn't.


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## Foxholer (May 27, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			How I wish I had a Â£ for every time I had done that in the past Foxholer. 
We have stopped him playing on his PC, taken his consoles and other things away from him before and given them back to him once his behaviour has settled down again. It works for a while, but he knows he is going to get them back again if he tows the line so has lost it's effectiveness.
I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson....
		
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Fair enough. It never got to that stage with 'ours'. So perhaps your new/uprated approach may have an effect.


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## MadAdey (May 27, 2014)

Smiffy said:



			I smashed his phone to teach him a lesson. His Mums iPad has gone forever, so has the Wii console and games thanks to his actions. Now lets see how he feels when something he has been out and "purchased" himself, albeit with stolen money, has gone the same way. I'm fed up with messing around to be honest.
		
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I am a bit of a sadistic git Rob. When his birthday comes round I would buy him F@@@ all and get your misses an Ipad. When he looks at you wondering where his present is, tell him that you can't afford to be buying him presents as well as replacing the items that he stole to sell. 

So let him know that all of actions will have consequences and using what money would be spent on him is going to be used to replace things he has stolen, might make him think next time. Also inform him that this is his last chance, anymore and the Police will be involved. Really lay it to him so he gets the picture it is not another idle threat, this time you will go through with it.


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## hovis (May 27, 2014)

MadAdey said:



			I am a bit of a sadistic git Rob. When his birthday comes round I would buy him F@@@ all and get your misses an Ipad. When he looks at you wondering where his present is, tell him that you can't afford to be buying him presents as well as replacing the items that he stole to sell. 

So let him know that all of actions will have consequences and using what money would be spent on him is going to be used to replace things he has stolen, might make him think next time. Also inform him that this is his last chance, anymore and the Police will be involved. Really lay it to him so he gets the picture it is not another idle threat, this time you will go through with it.
		
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Sounds like a great idea to me. I would pay good money to see his face when his birthday present is an ipod for his mom


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## HomerJSimpson (Jun 3, 2014)

Smiffy

Out of interest did this get resolved with or without police intervention and have things improved at all. I hope they have and you and your wife can move forward


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