# New Father Tips



## Liverpoolphil (Feb 9, 2017)

As we all know this place smashes mumsnet when it comes to giving our advice for every single situation in life so...

In May I'm going to become a father for the first time to a little girl 

What tips , hints , helpfully antidotes , things to buy , etc would a new father need ?


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## Bazzatron (Feb 9, 2017)

This thread could be gold.

We're 13 days in and it's fantastic. We've found that we're writing down how much he drinks and when, easier than trying to remember. 

Phil, one thing that has been an absolute God send, is Shaun the sheep. Gives off sound that replicates what it's like for the baby in the womb. My little man was having a bit of a whinge and stopped as soon I switched Shaun on. Check it out.

Also, lucky to be able to take 3 weeks off. Felt I've needed it, not just from a sleep deprivation angle but from just being around to help the wife.


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## Pin-seeker (Feb 9, 2017)

Don't try & do everything by the book. 
All babies are different. 

Don't buy one of those things that strap the baby to you,they look redicelous. 

Be prepared to play less golf & your post count on here could go down.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Feb 9, 2017)

Spend all your time at the golf club and let Mrs Liverpool get on with it as everything you do will be wrong. I know, I'm talking from experience :rofl:


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## SocketRocket (Feb 9, 2017)

The first 40 years are the worst.


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## Dando (Feb 9, 2017)

cherish every day and make sure you take loads of photos so you can embarrass them when they are older!

my little monkey is 18 in a few weeks and its flown by.


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## Snelly (Feb 9, 2017)

If you want my advice, resign from the golf club and spend the first ten years of weekends with your kids rather than on the course. 

That is what I did and I think it was the right thing to do in hindsight.  They are only young once and it goes past in what seems like the blink of an eye.


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## Doon frae Troon (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations, children are a great joy for 98% of the time.:lol: 
Be prepared for big changes to your life. Babies are pretty resilient, they don't break easily. 


Best tip I was ever given was for young teenage girls [upwards to 40 years old]............Never be angry or upset if they ring and ask for an unexpected lift home.


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## ger147 (Feb 9, 2017)

Snelly said:



			If you want my advice, resign from the golf club and spend the first ten years of weekends with your kids rather than on the course. 

That is what I did and I think it was the right thing to do in hindsight.  They are only young once and it goes past in what seems like the blink of an eye.
		
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That's pretty much what I did and I have no regrets.


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## Hobbit (Feb 9, 2017)

Snelly said:



			If you want my advice, resign from the golf club and spend the first ten years of weekends with your kids rather than on the course. 

That is what I did and I think it was the right thing to do in hindsight.  They are only young once and it goes past in what seems like the blink of an eye.
		
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Having not stopped playing at least 4 times week when my first brood arrived, and experiencing divorce because of my selfishness, I'd recommend you really do consider the balance... if I had the chance again I'd do things very differently.


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## Liverpoolphil (Feb 9, 2017)

Hobbit said:



			Having not stopped playing at least 4 times week when my first brood arrived, and experiencing divorce because of my selfishness, I'd recommend you really do consider the balance... if I had the chance again I'd do things very differently.
		
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I work shift so already work a good number of weekends but have plenty of time off in the week. We have a rough plan for the weekends as she wants to go back to playing hockey. Golf will naturally be cut down but the wife forbids me from stopping


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## Papas1982 (Feb 9, 2017)

First thing to remember is once they're a year old, if anyone asks their age. You stop giving it in weeks! &#128516;&#128516;&#128512;

Id start stockpiling sleep now, and except for first few months if little one is breastfed. Help on the night duties. I know quite a few her "sleep" through the elbows when the little ones wake. If you get up and help out the brownie points will come in handy when you don't want a guilt free round. 

Imstarted golfing after kids my first was born and think as long as they always have priority. A bit of time out is fine. You don't need to live in each other's pockets. Just make sure it's not always yu out getting away. 

Treat the missus to us to a spa day/shopping etc when you have little one to yourself.


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## guest100718 (Feb 9, 2017)

I'd ignore the sanctimonious on here and find your own way. it much easier 2nd time and the 3rd is  doddle.


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## StevieT (Feb 9, 2017)

Only advice I'd give is to enjoy it!  Take it slow, try to relax and remember that these are the days you'll build some great memories.

My eldest is 15 now and it seems like yesterday we were bringing her home from the hospital in her car seat.  The years honestly do fly by (it's a cliche but really it's amazing how it goes!)

Congratulations, and enjoy the best job in the world.


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## Imurg (Feb 9, 2017)

On the big day take provisions for yourself.
She won't care but you'll be starving coz you're going to be there forever...

And expect to get thumped or your hand broken&#128514;


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## richart (Feb 9, 2017)

Liverpoolphil said:



			As we all know this place smashes mumsnet when it comes to giving our advice for every single situation in life so...

In May I'm going to become a father for the first time to a little girl 

What tips , hints , helpfully antidotes , things to buy , etc would a new father need ?
		
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Pray she takes after her mother.


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## Deleted member 18588 (Feb 9, 2017)

Remember children don't come with an Instruction Manual. Listen to all the advice but at the end of the day it will be down to you and your wife to make the decisions.

You will, inevitably, get some things wrong but I am absolutely certain that you and Mrs LP will get far more right than wrong. Trust your instincts.

And finally there are two things that will be the most valuable to your daughter and others that may follow. Your time and your love!


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## Hobbit (Feb 9, 2017)

Kids are not just for Christmas!


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## Liverpoolphil (Feb 9, 2017)

richart said:



			Pray she takes after her mother.
		
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Always one smart reply - just amazed it came from you


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## sawtooth (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations again Phil.

Best tip ever, when she won't sleep take her out for a spin in the car she will soon nod off.


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## Marshy77 (Feb 9, 2017)

Hobbit said:



			Having not stopped playing at least 4 times week when my first brood arrived, and experiencing divorce because of my selfishness, I'd recommend you really do consider the balance... if I had the chance again I'd do things very differently.
		
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Would you play 5 times rather than 4 

We found having a routine helped massively but everyone is different. Take advice but don't always use it, like someone says don't go by the books, forums or social media advice - you'll figure it and find your feet. 

Also try not to fall asleep through night feeds!!!


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## SaintHacker (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations to you both Phil.:thup:  When will she be getting her first Everton kit?


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## FairwayDodger (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations Phil!

Don't have any experience to pass on but just remember.... everything doesn't *have* to be pink!


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## Khamelion (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations.

The thing is with daughters, mine is 20, is that you don't just have one penis to worry about, you have many. Between you and your missus, be as open and honest with her as she grows, respect her and she will respect you.

Oh yeah, bulk up, hit the gym now and by the time she's bringing her first friend who happens to be a boy home, there'll enough there to keep him wary.


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## anotherdouble (Feb 9, 2017)

Start saving. It's going to be a very expensive 21 or so years


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## Jimaroid (Feb 9, 2017)

Just prepare yourself for the most emotionally fantastic, stressful, tiring, jubilant and brilliant time of your life. I have a 4.5 year old girl, I thought I was well prepared for her arrival but I fell to bits with joy and happiness on her arrival. It's impossible to explain, it's a binary switch going from an expectant parent to holding your new born. Incredible times ahead for you.

I have never felt so useless or powerless as a person as I did during the birth. It wasn't an easy one. No matter how much you think you've prepared it will more than likely turn out differently to anything you've read or been told and it'll shock you. But, my golly gosh, the reward at the end of it all is impossible to put into words.

The best thing I purchased was one of these. Mrs laughed and called me crazy but of all the "unessential" stuff it was easily the single most useful purchase. http://www.mothercare.com/nappy-dis...6737.html?cgid=babycare_nappydisposal#start=1

Supermarket own-brand nappies are absolutely great quality, we used Tesco. Don't bother with top brands.

Make sure you keep a well stock supply of food in the house around due date. Get some "comfort food" ready meals in the freezer. You'll probably be wrecked on your return home and the last thing you want to do is nip out for missing supplies and you'll want energy dense easy to prepare food in a hurry. Some friends of ours brought cream cakes over the day we got back - wow! - were they good. 

Best tip of all; don't listen to other people's tips. You'll find your own ways and that's all part of the magic.


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## Jimaroid (Feb 9, 2017)

FairwayDodger said:



			Don't have any experience to pass on but just remember.... everything doesn't *have* to be pink! 

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Easier said than done. I gave up trying to fight the pink, it's impossible.


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## richart (Feb 9, 2017)

Daughters are easy until they get to about 12, then you are in for big trouble. I hear it gets better when they are about 35.

Don't let her get into competitive swimming unless you want to be getting up at 5.00 most mornings. Get her into tennis as soon as possible, as that is where the money is, and she could be your pension.:thup:

Move closer to grandparents, so you have ready made babysitters ?


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## Lord Tyrion (Feb 9, 2017)

Pictures, pictures and more pictures. Take loads of photos at all stages. Also make sure that you are in plenty of them, if you are the main photo taker. Very easy for the photo taker never to be seen.

If someone offers to babysit then take them up on it. You will never be more tired and the chance of either a night out or a chance for a proper sleep is a godsend. Don't be over polite, take people up on their offer.

Enjoy, it's brilliant.


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## Rooter (Feb 9, 2017)

1. Trust your instincts. (i am talking when they a little older, but still very valid)

When you think they are ill, you are their only voice. You might think you are p'ing off the doctors, so what. you have paid NI for years, you deserve the best. If you think they are not right push, push and push some more. Docs tried fobbing us off with a cold, turned out my eldest had pneumonia aged 2 and was admitted via ambulance in the end and was all sorted. Turned out she had an allergy to mold and damp spores which were in the bark at nursery playground!

2. Someone else said it, there is no instruction manual and there are no rights and wrongs. Something tells me about you Phil, that you wont worry about what other people think, but as soon as a baby is involved, then Christ are they judgemental... even during pregnancy, your wife will be hearing on a daily basis "oh your big for x weeks' 'oh your small for x weeks' Unless its a midwife or a doctor, laugh it off. If your mrs wants to bottle feed rather than breast feed, don't be pressured. All my kids have been bottle fed, my eldest is in the top 5% in her year, my lad is doing well, younger two are perfectly happy and healthy. Just do what you want, stick to your guns and be prepared for judgemental eyes and voices..

3. Save money. Kids are expensive, no getting round it! Sign up to Costco or similar and buy shizzle in bulk, ie nappies, wipes etc.

4. Enjoy it! Its an amazing experience, you will never look at your wife's lady area in the same way again, but it all still works after.

5. Take pictures and videos regularly. I saw a guy who took a pic of his first born every day for the first year and made a book from it, hindsight is wonderful to do that. 

6. Take your share of the load, I know you will, but its not 1960 anymore, do your bit!

7. Be very careful for the first few months, unless you want 2 quickly, women are highly fertile after child birth.

8. If you want tips on getting the baby out before due date, best ones we had given were, Curry, Pineapple, Raspberry lead (tea) and some nookie. Plus walking, lots of walking, get the mrs going up and down the stairs.

9. Be ready, have the hospital bag in the car, know your route and have a contingency, always have enough fuel in the car, get a bag of change in the hospital bag for coffee, snacks, vending machine etc.

10. Buy your wife something nice from baby, she deserves it!!

Seriously, any Q's drop me a PM, Kids is one of my specialist subjects! I'm a pretty big deal in the kid production world...

Oh and keep your sense of humour! 

Jimaroid has nailed it too with own brand nappies and wipes, after they are out of newborn stuff, the sainsburys or tesco own are perfectly good for soaking up wee and poo, why pay twice the price?!


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## bluewolf (Feb 9, 2017)

Congrats Phil. 

Only piece of advice I can give is to just enjoy it. Even when you're knackered, emotionally unstable and desperate for a pint... Enjoy every moment, because before you know it they'll be old enough to prefer spending time with their friends 

Oh, and everyone overdoes it with the firstborn. You'll sterilise everything in sight and do everything by the book. All the experienced parents will tell you that you don't need to do it, but you should carry on regardless. You'll learn your own way when you have the 2nd.


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## Liverpoolphil (Feb 9, 2017)

Cheers for all the responses guys - 

Karen I'm afraid all the pink stuff is already rolling in 

Lots of great stuff 

And to top it off with the master of kids - Rooter , laughed out loud , :thup:


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## user2010 (Feb 9, 2017)

Just Google what you need to know.:thup:


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## Duckster (Feb 9, 2017)

Congrats Phil and Mrs Phil!

My daughter turns 1 next Wednesday and it really has flown by.  You'll get loads of advice, some good some bad.  You get told how to do stuff, weve found most of that to be tosh.  Most of all, she'll let you know what's good, what's bad, what works. You'll figure it out.

Congratulations and it really does fly by.  Seems like only yesterday that we had a quiet night in Chorley hospital.

Oh aye, best thing we got given was a sleeping / grow bag thing, clips over her shoulders. Put Scarlett in it when she was 8 weeks and she immediately started sleeping straight through. Godsend.


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## Break90 (Feb 9, 2017)

Absolutely agree with the photo/video tips, you can never have enough. 

Something else we did when our daughter was born, was to set up an email address for her, which she doesn't know about.  Every now and then (birthday, christmas, special events etc) we send her an email detailing some of the stuff she's been up to, thing's she's done that have made us proud of her, with some photo's and videos. When she's 18 we'll let her open the inbox and read all the emails, watch the vids and see the pictures. Should hopefully mean that we won't forget the growing up years, and she'll have an account of her childhood which we otherwise might not have documented. 

Oh, and don't let her get her hands on a jumbo size pot of sudocreme when she's about 2 and supposed to be having a nap in her newly decorated nursery. It's a bloody nightmare to clear up and no amount of barrier spray completely covers the marks on the wall when you re-paint. 

Other than that, have fun, and enjoy it :thup:


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## Liverpoolphil (Feb 9, 2017)

Break90 said:



			Absolutely agree with the photo/video tips, you can never have enough. 

Something else we did when our daughter was born, was to set up an email address for her, which she doesn't know about.  Every now and then (birthday, christmas, special events etc) we send her an email detailing some of the stuff she's been up to, thing's she's done that have made us proud of her, with some photo's and videos. When she's 18 we'll let her open the inbox and read all the emails, watch the vids and see the pictures. Should hopefully mean that we won't forget the growing up years, and she'll have an account of her childhood which we otherwise might not have documented. 

Oh, and don't let her get her hands on a jumbo size pot of sudocreme when she's about 2 and supposed to be having a nap in her newly decorated nursery. It's a bloody nightmare to clear up and no amount of barrier spray completely covers the marks on the wall when you re-paint. 

Other than that, have fun, and enjoy it :thup:
		
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What an absolutely brilliant idea - cheers for that :thup:


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## Bazzatron (Feb 9, 2017)

Some great advice in here. Ta.


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## Marshy77 (Feb 9, 2017)

Break90 said:



			Absolutely agree with the photo/video tips, you can never have enough. 

Something else we did when our daughter was born, was to set up an email address for her, which she doesn't know about.  Every now and then (birthday, christmas, special events etc) we send her an email detailing some of the stuff she's been up to, thing's she's done that have made us proud of her, with some photo's and videos. When she's 18 we'll let her open the inbox and read all the emails, watch the vids and see the pictures. Should hopefully mean that we won't forget the growing up years, and she'll have an account of her childhood which we otherwise might not have documented.
		
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Now that is a bloody good idea. Might do that even though my 2 are 12 and 10.


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## Rlburnside (Feb 9, 2017)

Congratulations Phil

Just a thought for the grandparents, my daughter set up Tinybeans for us when she had her daughter, ever time she took a photo it was sent to us it lasted for the first year, so good to get regular photos when she was small.


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## Old Skier (Feb 9, 2017)

Liverpoolphil said:



			As we all know this place smashes mumsnet

What tips , hints , helpfully antidotes , things to buy , etc would a new father need ?
		
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Congrats, stay off mumsnet.


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## guest100718 (Feb 9, 2017)

Marshy77 said:



			Now that is a bloody good idea. Might do that even though my 2 are 12 and 10.
		
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kids hardly use email as it is.... in 18 years they'll probably not even know what email is


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## Marshy77 (Feb 10, 2017)

guest100718 said:



			kids hardly use email as it is.... in 18 years they'll probably not even know what email is
		
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in 6 years time they'll still use it.


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## Crazyface (Feb 10, 2017)

Couldn't be bothered to read through all the posts, but some good ones already in there, but my top tip is :-

You know those  little bottles of food you can buy when they start on solids? NEVER WARM THEM UP. They can be eaten cold, check  the labels. Sure it might seem heartless, but the baby doesn't know they can be warmed up and will eat them cold, so this means that when you are out somewhere and realise you've forgotten to bring one you can just walk into any shop, get one and feed baby. no hassle no mither no nowt. Job done!


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## BoadieBroadus (Feb 10, 2017)

all kids are different so hard to know what will work when it comes to sleeping feeding etc.

if i had one rule for a first time dad it would be not to martyr yourself by being awake in the night just because mum and baby are. you can do your bit in the day time and take the baby out in the pushchair and let mum get some rest.

use your time to make industrial quantities of bolognese / chilli etc and keep in the freezer so you are never stuck for a hearty meal.


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## Jimaroid (Feb 10, 2017)

Couple of things I just remembered, might seem a little bizarre.

Get this App: http://huggamind.com/product.php?cid=2

Ignore the nonsense about brain development. It's just a fancy baby rattle really, it uses very high contrast shapes and symbols that are easy to see. Anyway, when all else failed in consoling our daughter we used to show her the slideshow of that App and it always calmed her down and put her into a lovely sleepy mood.

You won't believe how much babies like playing with phones & tablets. I was massively resistant at first, but with supervision, they are incredible pacifiers. Buy all the Peppa Pig episodes and have them on standby on your phone. Honestly, when you feel the meltdown coming, give them the phone with an episode of Peppa Pig and it's like a flipping miracle of peace and happiness.


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## jdpjamesp (Feb 10, 2017)

Liverpoolphil said:



			As we all know this place smashes mumsnet when it comes to giving our advice for every single situation in life so...

In May I'm going to become a father for the first time to a little girl 

What tips , hints , helpfully antidotes , things to buy , etc would a new father need ?
		
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It's probably been said by others already as I'm late to the party. The single most important thing you can do for your little one is make time for them. I hate to say it, but family trumps golf. If you don't make the time for the kids they'll be grown up and gone before you know it and you'll regret it. You'll still have golf (and other things) when they're gone.


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## DRW (Feb 10, 2017)

Liverpoolphil said:



			In May I'm going to become a father for the first time to a little girl
		
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All the best and hope the birth goes well for your wife/partner.:thup:

The energy from young ones is just so amazing, oh to bottle it.

Enjoy, make as much time as possible to spend with them and I hope you have a 'girl' that isn't too much trouble!

And learn on the job, did I say enjoy the sleepness nights, the worry, the cost and the poo but its fun and brilliant watching them grow up.


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## Alex1975 (Feb 10, 2017)

Liverpoolphil said:



			As we all know this place smashes mumsnet when it comes to giving our advice for every single situation in life so...

In May I'm going to become a father for the first time to a little girl 

What tips , hints , helpfully antidotes , things to buy , etc would a new father need ?
		
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No tips, mother nature made sure you will look after your child. Just a comment: Get ready for the best thing that ever happened to you. Its really the meaning of life.


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## londonlewis (Feb 10, 2017)

advice from father of 2 - daughter is 3, son is 3 months

1. *very important - *pack a towel in your car for the journey to the hospital 
I ended up delivering my son in the passenger seat of my car on the A317. A towel would have saved the mess going everywhere 

2. *could be helpful - *we downloaded a white noise app (sleep bug) when my daughter was born. Would make her nod off every time we put it on. 
However, our son doesn't even seem to notice it. 

3. *joke *When she is born, say to the doctor "hey, what's wrong with his thing?". 

4. *most important - *make sure your mrs is ok. Hormones can be off the scale, so you need to look out for baby blues / post-natal depression. 
It can be pretty tough for the first few months; the tiredness can be really difficult for everyone. 

5. *and finally*... congratulations and good luck. Daughters are great.


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## Scoobiesnax (Feb 10, 2017)

Buy these two things 

http://www.sweetdreamers.co.uk/baby-product/ewan-the-dream-sheep

and this:

http://www.johnlewis.com/sleepyhead-deluxe-portable-baby-pod-white/p231482924 (expensive but worth it!)

My wee man is 7 weeks old and those two item are fantastic for him.

After reading some responses on here I'm feeling guilty that I play once a week!! Even just text messaged the wife to tell her I'll do both early morning feeds over the weekend!!  Cheers lads


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## G.U.R (Feb 10, 2017)

As people have said parenting is a very personal thing, but as a father of a 22 year old and identical 17 year old girls, we found getting into a routine early makes all the difference. Also if you bottle feed invest in a decent flask so no boiling the kettle during the night.

All the best and enjoy it, before you know it they are grown up and you wonder what all the fuss was about.


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## Spear-Chucker (Feb 10, 2017)

Cherish every second, buy shares in Calpol and stay patient. You'll figure the rest regardless of what anyone says.

Watch for post natal depression - I was woefully uninformed (why would I have known, looking back) and never _really _believed it could happen... It's tough but gets better with loads of support.


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## hovis (Feb 10, 2017)

Pin-seeker said:



			Don't try & do everything by the book. 
All babies are different.
		
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or by Google


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## The Autumn Wind (Feb 10, 2017)

Snelly said:



			If you want my advice, resign from the golf club and spend the first ten years of weekends with your kids rather than on the course. 

That is what I did and I think it was the right thing to do in hindsight.  They are only young once and it goes past in what seems like the blink of an eye.
		
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Yup, I did the same thing, quit my golf membership for 10 years. I never regretted it then, and never have since. Golf is great, but bringing up children that depend on you is so fulfilling. And golf is a sport that is so easy to get back into, unlike taking 10 years out from rugby etc


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## The Autumn Wind (Feb 10, 2017)

Phil, when I see you at the club this weekend, I'll give you and your Mrs my wife's mobile number. She's a Special Care Baby Unit sister, and will answer any questions or worries you have before or after the birth. Especially useful when you just need some reassurance at the end of the phone.


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## Rooter (Feb 11, 2017)

Just saw an ad for this app, looks good for timeline of baby pics and more. Not used it or associated to it. 

https://m.lifecake.com/


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## ScienceBoy (Feb 11, 2017)

My tip is to know where your nearest 24 hour supermarket is. You will make many a trip in the first 2 months.

Mine is now 17 months so it's still fresh in my mind.

My other tip is don't strive for equality with a partner, strive for balance. Know who is doing what when and it all works out.


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## User62651 (Feb 11, 2017)

Remember breast is best, particularly at 3am feeds.

Once they start moving independently move everything of value at least 3 feet off the ground.

Would re-iterate the speed they grow up - frighteningly quick, dont miss it. I told my Mrs to forget work until the youngest was 5 years old ready for primary, just enjoy being a mum, was difficult financially but worth it emotionally.

I had an enforced layoff from golf for injury reasons and it was a good thing in many ways, spent all that time with the kids instead. Now my two are 10 and 7 and already have some 'attitude' and don't need us anything like they did. I'm getting back into golf this year, feel fine about a few hours off on a Sunday now and hopefully I can encourage the kids too in time so its something we can do together.

Accept/encourage help from relatives, even short breaks of a few hours are good to get some time with just you and your partner away from the little one.

As someone else mentioned when number 2 or 3 come along its old hat, so much easier.

Be kind to your Mrs when the kid prefers you - girls like their dads and boys like their mums!


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## Farneyman (Feb 11, 2017)

Answer all their questions no matter how small and irrelevant it seems at the time.

If you wont talk to them about the small stuff then they won't want to talk to you about the bigger stuff when they are older.

Enjoy every moment.


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## Deleted member 18588 (Feb 11, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Just saw an ad for this app, looks good for timeline of baby pics and more. Not used it or associated to it. 

https://m.lifecake.com/

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It may be different with girls but our experience with our sons and their mates (all now 30+) there was no interest in photographic reminders of their childhood.

Made us wonder why we had bothered.


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## User62651 (Feb 11, 2017)

Get an estate car - prams, travel cots and high chairs take up a lot of space.


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## Rooter (Feb 12, 2017)

maxfli65 said:



			Get an estate car - prams, travel cots and high chairs take up a lot of space.
		
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Now I'm gonna disagree here! I find it so funny with mates having kids now they all jump and buy a huge estate! Absolutely no need to, Pushchair and associated junk will fit in any car. I only have a massive car now as I need 6 seats, but even when we had 3, I drove a 3 series saloon and the wife had a clio then an Astra hatchback.

It's a kid, not a dog. You do not need an estate!


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## Trojan615 (Feb 12, 2017)

Hobbit said:



			Kids are not just for Christmas!
		
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Keep the box and the receipt ....


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## Lord Tyrion (Feb 12, 2017)

MetalMickie said:



			It may be different with girls but our experience with our sons and their mates (all now 30+) there was no interest in photographic reminders of their childhood.

Made us wonder why we had bothered.
		
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My daughter is coming up to 15. She loves looking at baby photos of herself, loves it. My son, 17, is not bothered at all. However, we love looking back so if neither cared it would still have been worth it for us alone.


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## SocketRocket (Feb 12, 2017)

Let them know the limits and that you love them whatever.


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## Bazzatron (Feb 12, 2017)

We used one of these for the first time last night, much better than going down to the kitchen and waiting for the kettle to boil and then cooling it down.

https://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/product/perfect-prep-machine


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## hovis (Feb 12, 2017)

i forgot to say.  when they are very young be prepared to be headbutted in the face ALOT!!  big head,  small body is a bad recipe. 

and then you can look forward to constantly being ill as children seem to breed illnesses.    
11 years in the fire service and I've had 2 periods of sickness in 8 years.   my daughter is  almost 3 and in the last 3 years I've had 7 periods of sickness


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## hovis (Feb 12, 2017)

Bazzatron said:



			We used one of these for the first time last night, much better than going down to the kitchen and waiting for the kettle to boil and then cooling it down.

https://www.tommeetippee.co.uk/product/perfect-prep-machine

Click to expand...

these where recently on watchdog saying they breed bacteria and the filters weren't doing their job after 2 uses.


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## Bazzatron (Feb 12, 2017)

hovis said:



			these where recently on watchdog saying they breed bacteria and the filters weren't doing their job after 2 uses.
		
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 cheers mate, I'll have a look into this. A quick Google shows TT have refuted it (of course they would)

Back to the walk down two flights to the kettle!


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## hovis (Feb 12, 2017)

Bazzatron said:



 cheers mate, I'll have a look into this. A quick Google shows TT have refuted it (of course they would)

Back to the walk down two flights to the kettle!
		
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i would have no problem using one.   bacteria?   i once caught my daughter supping water out of the dogs bowl.    she's still alive!!   chases alot of sticks though

we used to boil a jug of water and then leave it in the fridge.  make up a bottle then microwave


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## richy (Feb 12, 2017)

1. Breast is best  

2. Start getting used to having a lot less 'free' time.


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## ScienceBoy (Feb 12, 2017)

richy said:



			1. Breast is best  

2. Start getting used to having a lot less 'free' time.
		
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What is the "free time" you speak of?

Actually ours is a gem for bedtimes, been putting himself to bed for months now. 

My secret was at 6 months to invest a huge amount of effort setting up a good bedtime routine.

Took me two weeks of practically sleeping on his floor, near the end I could commando crawl out, by the end I could just put him down in his cot and leave, voila sleeping baby.

Had a hiccup after he went to Canada at 9 months but since around 11 months he has been brilliant. Usually sleeps from 6pm to 6am. Had one month were 13 hours asleep was frequent. The downside was he gave up a second day nap at a year... now he just grabs an hour at the most late morning then powers on till bedtime.

White noise is good but don't rely on it, the best bedtime routine is the simplest. We can take ours anywhere or do anything now and he just sleeps.


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## Stuart_C (Feb 12, 2017)

Congrats Phil, my best  advice is buy Dr Brown bottles, expensive but well worth it.

The first couple of months was the hardest part for me, broken sleep to a light sleeper is pure torture.


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## Rooter (Feb 13, 2017)

richy said:



			1. Breast is best
		
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Says who? with a bottle you can measure exactly how much they have had, share the load, get 100% of the nutrients etc required. OK it works for some not others, just because the govt say its best doesn't mean it is for everyone.

There are many reasons why breast is not best for a lot of women/babies and to have the disapproving eyes and comments when bottle feeding really does not help. And yes, that really does happen! All of my 4 were bottle fed and are perfectly fit/healthy/smart/happy.

As per anything with kids and the point of this thread, there is no single right answer. By nature, we are all different.


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## Crazyface (Feb 13, 2017)

The wifes tip is  ROUTINE. You would not believe the stories she tells me about the women at work and the bedtime troubles some of them have. From very ones coz the children won't go to bed to the one where the mother has to go to bed with the child and lie with them until they go to sleep. This child is FIVE !

Oh, I'd add in, do not buy them electronic game consoles of any kind. They can get addicted to them and throw tantrums when you take them from them.


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## Mark_Aged_42 (Feb 13, 2017)

While you have the time and energy, cook some decent meals and put them in the freezer. You will not believe how knackered you and your Mrs will become.
So having good food ready made will be a great boost for your spirits.


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## User62651 (Feb 13, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Says who? with a bottle you can measure exactly how much they have had, share the load, get 100% of the nutrients etc required. OK it works for some not others, just because the govt say its best doesn't mean it is for everyone.

There are many reasons why breast is not best for a lot of women/babies and to have the disapproving eyes and comments when bottle feeding really does not help. And yes, that really does happen! All of my 4 were bottle fed and are perfectly fit/healthy/smart/happy.

As per anything with kids and the point of this thread, there is no single right answer. By nature, we are all different.
		
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Pretty sure it was only a joke - new dad gets to sleep through! Nothing to do with judging anyone's parenting credentials!


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## hovis (Feb 13, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Says who? with a bottle you can measure exactly how much they have had, share the load, get 100% of the nutrients etc required. OK it works for some not others, just because the govt say its best doesn't mean it is for everyone.

There are many reasons why breast is not best for a lot of women/babies and to have the disapproving eyes and comments when bottle feeding really does not help. And yes, that really does happen! All of my 4 were bottle fed and are perfectly fit/healthy/smart/happy.

As per anything with kids and the point of this thread, there is no single right answer. By nature, we are all different.
		
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its not just the government that say its better.   they'd make more money on tax selling the formula.   there are many independent research papers available to read all confirming that breast milk is better
its scientifically proven that the mothers breast milk during the first two weeks contains shed loads off antibodys to map out the baby's immune system.   i must have read 100's of papers on the subject.   in America they've also shown that breast fed babies are less likely on a massive scale in developing IBS in later life. 

as for not measuring it.....  express the milk and put it into a bottle.   now you can measure it and dad can now help with the feeds. 

i get that some women can't but to choose not to for no specific reason is selfish in my opinion.   anything natural has got to be better than powdered cows milk. 

oh,  and you save a shed load of money


can you list some of the reasons why breast isn't best please


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## londonlewis (Feb 13, 2017)

hovis said:



			its not just the government that say its better.   they'd make more money on tax selling the formula.   there are many independent research papers available to read all confirming that breast milk is better
its scientifically proven that the mothers breast milk during the first two weeks contains shed loads off antibodys to map out the baby's immune system.   i must have read 100's of papers on the subject.   in America they've also shown that breast fed babies are less likely on a massive scale in developing IBS in later life. 

as for not measuring it.....  express the milk and put it into a bottle.   now you can measure it and dad can now help with the feeds. 

i get that some women can't but to choose not to for no specific reason is selfish in my opinion.   anything natural has got to be better than powdered cows milk. 

oh,  and you save a shed load of money


can you list some of the reasons why breast isn't best please
		
Click to expand...

My wife breastfed our first for 12 months. 
And is 3 months into breastfeeding our second (which she will do for a year). 

Our attitude is 'the research says breastfeeding is better' but even if they are wrong, why take the risk? 
We want to give our two kids the very best opportunities in life. That's all we want. 

I do appreciate some women can't breastfeed and I spoke to my wife about that and said 'if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it'.


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## Reemul (Feb 13, 2017)

I always find the sleep thing funny. Those that have kids that sleep think those that don't are stupid and doing things wrong and those that have kids that won't sleep realise those that have ones that do have no idea what it is like.

I have 2 boys one aged 10 and the other 6.

My eldest dropped his 2 hour day sleep at 6 months old and never slept through the day again. He also never slept through the night once until he was 6. Even now he doesn't sleep that well. He goes to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm and gets to read for 30 minutes. He normally falls asleep by 9.15-10pm. He wakes up at 6am every day the same as he has done since he was a baby. When he was a baby you got 3 hours before he woke up until he was 6 after that he would only wake up once or twice a night until he was about 8. It was hell for a while.

My youngest who is 6 goes to bed at 7.30pm and sleeps until 7am every day no issues ever. Never wakes up, was out of nappies at night by 3 unlike my eldest who was 8. We tried everything on the eldest and none of it worked at all. I mean we spent years trying stuff and now we accept he just doesn't need the sleep. He is top of his class at school, works really hard and is super well behaved so he isn't tired at all.

So what I am saying is if your child sleeps through the night from an early age really appreciate it, it is super and realise that there are a lot of people who don't get that at all. Even now though he is a good boy he cannot help but make a racket at 6am, you know going to the toiled and dropping the seat or banging a door I mean he's a kid but we haven't had any sort of a lie in for over 10 years now.


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## Reemul (Feb 13, 2017)

Another thing we did was ensure no single parent was the dominant one. We shared everything except the breast feeding. My boys never pick one over the other and view us as the same. we work very hard to never undermine each other and ensure we are both singing from the same hymn sheet. We also had the same with family who looked after them when the wife went back to work. 

We have never had major behaviour issues (of course they can be naughty) as the message is the same all over, good , stable, loving guidelines that we stick to.

We have a few friends who have kids and one of the parents has little or no say and has a tendency to be ignored or they just ask the other parent until they get their own way. 

Don't undermine each other, it is tough at first but working together makes it a hell of a lot easier in the short and long term.


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## hovis (Feb 13, 2017)

Reemul said:



			I always find the sleep thing funny. Those that have kids that sleep think those that don't are stupid and doing things wrong and those that have kids that won't sleep realise those that have ones that do have no idea what it is like.

I have 2 boys one aged 10 and the other 6.

My eldest dropped his 2 hour day sleep at 6 months old and never slept through the day again. He also never slept through the night once until he was 6. Even now he doesn't sleep that well. He goes to bed between 7.30pm and 8pm and gets to read for 30 minutes. He normally falls asleep by 9.15-10pm. He wakes up at 6am every day the same as he has done since he was a baby. When he was a baby you got 3 hours before he woke up until he was 6 after that he would only wake up once or twice a night until he was about 8. It was hell for a while.

My youngest who is 6 goes to bed at 7.30pm and sleeps until 7am every day no issues ever. Never wakes up, was out of nappies at night by 3 unlike my eldest who was 8. We tried everything on the eldest and none of it worked at all. I mean we spent years trying stuff and now we accept he just doesn't need the sleep. He is top of his class at school, works really hard and is super well behaved so he isn't tired at all.

So what I am saying is if your child sleeps through the night from an early age really appreciate it, it is super and realise that there are a lot of people who don't get that at all. Even now though he is a good boy he cannot help but make a racket at 6am, you know going to the toiled and dropping the seat or banging a door I mean he's a kid but we haven't had any sort of a lie in for over 10 years now.
		
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i find it crazy how people with newborns share a bed.   my wife and i had a great system where my wife would sleep on the spare bedroom and get up to do all the night feeds.   in the morning we would swap over and she would sleep during the day.    i dont see the point on both parents being awake (I'm awake so you're awake attitude)   all you get is two grumpy adults that haven't slept being short with each other


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## Reemul (Feb 13, 2017)

hovis said:



			i find it crazy how people with newborns share a bed.   my wife and i had a great system where my wife would sleep on the spare bedroom and get up to do all the night feeds.   in the morning we would swap over and she would sleep during the day.    i dont see the point on both parents being awake (I'm awake so you're awake attitude)   all you get is two grumpy adults that haven't slept being short with each other
		
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You are making an assumption. I sleep so lightly that slight noises in the house wake me all the time. So Kid makes noise, I wake up, sometimes wife wakes up, mostly we both wake up regardless. One of the things we did to allieviate this was have him in his own room at 6 months. we still both woke up regardless.

As mentioned above we tried everything to ensure we both got extra sleep it's just not that easy. Then when number 2 came along ensuring number 1 wouldn't wake to  both were awake at the same time meant 2 adults were needed.

If only it was so simple as people tell you......

To add a 6 year old isn't a newborn...


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## hovis (Feb 13, 2017)

Reemul said:



			You are making an assumption. I sleep so lightly that slight noises in the house wake me all the time. So Kid makes noise, I wake up, sometimes wife wakes up, mostly we both wake up regardless. One of the things we did to allieviate this was have him in his own room at 6 months. we still both woke up regardless.

As mentioned above we tried everything to ensure we both got extra sleep it's just not that easy. Then when number 2 came along ensuring number 1 wouldn't wake to  both were awake at the same time meant 2 adults were needed. i should have made that more clear on my post 

If only it was so simple as people tell you......

To add a 6 year old isn't a newborn...
		
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i wasn't making assumptions.   i quoted your  post as you was talking about sleep patterns thats all.  i wasn't referring to your routine. i should have made that more clear in my post 

we put our child in her room from day one.   this room had a single bed where mom slept for the first three months.   i too am a light sleeper (a mouse farts and I'm awake)   i invested in a set of ear plugs and slept away.


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## richy (Feb 13, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Says who?
		
Click to expand...

Erm.....



hovis said:



			its not just the government that say its better.   they'd make more money on tax selling the formula.   there are many independent research papers available to read all confirming that breast milk is better
its scientifically proven that the mothers breast milk during the first two weeks contains shed loads off antibodys to map out the baby's immune system.   i must have read 100's of papers on the subject.   in America they've also shown that breast fed babies are less likely on a massive scale in developing IBS in later life. 

as for not measuring it.....  express the milk and put it into a bottle.   now you can measure it and dad can now help with the feeds. 

i get that some women can't but to choose not to for no specific reason is selfish in my opinion.   anything natural has got to be better than powdered cows milk. 

oh,  and you save a shed load of money


can you list some of the reasons why breast isn't best please
		
Click to expand...




londonlewis said:



			My wife breastfed our first for 12 months. 
And is 3 months into breastfeeding our second (which she will do for a year). 

Our attitude is 'the research says breastfeeding is better' but even if they are wrong, why take the risk? 
We want to give our two kids the very best opportunities in life. That's all we want. 

I do appreciate some women can't breastfeed and I spoke to my wife about that and said 'if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it'.
		
Click to expand...

Cheers lads, saved me some typing.


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (Feb 13, 2017)

I'd rather like my old one back


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## the smiling assassin (Feb 13, 2017)

Our two were both breast fed too. If that's the route you're hoping to go it may require some patience. There is definitely a technique to it, and it can be poorly taught by midwives in our experience. I'm not sure if it's true, but I've heard that a high percentage of mums who choose to bottle feed try breast feeding but switch within a couple of days due to discomfort. This does match our friends experiences too. Worth sticking with it, and getting help as my wife found each time it took a few days to properly get the hang of it again. Just need to feed mum healthy stuff thereafter. We avoided alcohol but not sure if there's any evidence to that, just felt right. Bottle feeding, from our very limited experience (when wife had mastitis for a few days), is a complete faff in comparison (her words, not mine!) and also surprisingly expensive.


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## Rooter (Feb 14, 2017)

Re my breast is best comments which a few responded to. My wife couldn't breast feed, my comments were based around the experience of being judged by complete strangers. My eldest (9) is in the top 10% of her year group in every subject, is fit happy and healthy. The others are progressing in the same way. 

One of the commenters said his mrs said, don't beat yourself up if you can't, which is spot on, but pretty hard to actually do for a woman. 

I firmly believe that there is no disadvantage or anything by bottle feeding. Ok you have to pay for it, but hey, who cares, you gonna pay for their food for the next 16yrs+ anyway..


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## MendieGK (Feb 14, 2017)

The whole 'give up golf' narrative is a load of tosh in my opinion. Life doesn't stop because you have a child. We all need our own time 

shopping wise - Aldi nappies and wet wipes. Much cheaper and great quality. Wet wipes are life changing in so many ways. You'll regret not having them before you had a child, they're brilliant for everything.

once she Settles on a favourite toy/teddy/comfort item - buy LOTS of them! Life isn't worth living is it gets lost


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## MendieGK (Feb 14, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Re my breast is best comments which a few responded to. My wife couldn't breast feed, my comments were based around the experience of being judged by complete strangers. My eldest (9) is in the top 10% of her year group in every subject, is fit happy and healthy. The others are progressing in the same way. 

One of the commenters said his mrs said, don't beat yourself up if you can't, which is spot on, but pretty hard to actually do for a woman. 

I firmly believe that there is no disadvantage or anything by bottle feeding. Ok you have to pay for it, but hey, who cares, you gonna pay for their food for the next 16yrs+ anyway..
		
Click to expand...

i agree mate, you'll be made to feel like a criminal but it made our lives a lot easier when our lad struggled to breast feed


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## ScienceBoy (Feb 14, 2017)

We couldn't get past 2 months, was 100% bottle by then. Just happens that way sometimes.

In the good old days there was always someone else to do it for you if you couldn't.

Our boy is very strong and physically able, he drinks gallons of milk now.

We got absolute 0 comments about bottle feeding from so young. It's not surprising to hear it still happening but we didn't encounter it.

RE those about non-sleeping toddlers etc. You are right, those of us with sleepers just don't understand! I realise that we are lucky to get the solid sleep we do and the evening free time.

When he doesnt sleep it hits us very hard, we are just not used to it.

Regarding nappies we found the cheaper ones did not work for us, broke and leaked a lot. Pampers were brilliant and we used a mixture of the Pants and normal style. Pants during the day and extra absorbent at night.

Buying premium is one of the reasons ours sleeps well as the cheaper nappies lead to bad nights sleep.


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## richy (Feb 14, 2017)

Rooter said:



			Re my breast is best comments which a few responded to. My wife couldn't breast feed, my comments were based around the experience of being judged by complete strangers. My eldest (9) is in the top 10% of her year group in every subject, is fit happy and healthy. The others are progressing in the same way. 

One of the commenters said his mrs said, don't beat yourself up if you can't, which is spot on, but pretty hard to actually do for a woman. 

I firmly believe that there is no disadvantage or anything by bottle feeding. Ok you have to pay for it, but hey, who cares, you gonna pay for their food for the next 16yrs+ anyway..
		
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Id never judge someone who bottle fed, especially if it was medical or the like. My wife's cousin was unable to and it cut her up inside. 

It was tough for us to begin with, far harder than we expected it to be.


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## Rooter (Feb 14, 2017)

richy said:



			Id never judge someone who bottle fed, especially if it was medical or the like. My wife's cousin was unable to and it cut her up inside. 

It was tough for us to begin with, far harder than we expected it to be.
		
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Nor would any other normal person! new mums are a different breed...


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## chico (Feb 14, 2017)

Get yourself a cricketers box. It's amazing the amount of times they manage to smack you in the knackers as they're growing up.


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## ScienceBoy (Feb 14, 2017)

chico said:



			Get yourself a cricketers box. It's amazing the amount of times they manage to smack you in the knackers as they're growing up.
		
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2-3 times during the week and then that again each weekend day...

Friggin hurts


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## Jimaroid (Feb 14, 2017)

Oh, Lordy, yes. And watch out for that special baby power move - the reverse tantrum with head butt into the nose. 

It hurts. A lot. Especially during a dozy 3am feed.


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## alexandral (Feb 15, 2017)

Actually, you should be more careful. it is necessary for you to keep patient and try harder. 
i have two daughter and they are good children.

(Mod edit, links removed)


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## G.U.R (Feb 15, 2017)

If we've moved on to warnings, then watch out for what I called the Kryptonite nugget in the nappy. It's about the size of a broad bean, has a half life of 30,000 years and can fill a house with the most god awful stench known to man.


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