# idiots you have  seen today!!!



## patricks148 (Jan 17, 2017)

Thought i would start a thread for idiots you see doing stupid things from day to day.


Dropping my wife off at work this morning we overtook a woman on a bike with a dog on a lead in the middle of the road.... wearing headphones, so oblivious... the road... the A82 the main route between Inverness and Fortwilliam.


the mind boggles


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## ger147 (Jan 17, 2017)

I hope she had her donor card on her...


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## Robobum (Jan 17, 2017)

ger147 said:



			I hope she had her donor card on her...
		
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Hardly the time to go for a kebab is it?


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## pokerjoke (Jan 17, 2017)

Saw a classic today in the gym.
A women was trying to do cable extensions with a strap tied around her foot but she had the cable at the top of the machine instead of the bottom and her leg shot up in the air and she couldn't reach her foot.
I went across and got her foot out whilst another guy lifted her up,very funny.


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## Deleted member 16999 (Jan 17, 2017)

Just seen an Old Woman do an 8-9 point turn to get out of a disabled bay in the hospital car park, really shouldn't be driving on the public highway.


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## Smiffy (Jan 17, 2017)

patricks148 said:



			Thought i would start a tread for idiots you see doing stupid things from day to day.
Dropping my wife off at work this morning we overtook a woman on a bike with a dog on a lead in the middle of the road.... wearing headphones
		
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How stupid can you get???
Anybody knows a dogs hearing is much more acute than ours.
Why on earth would it need headphones?


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## pokerjoke (Jan 17, 2017)

Smiffy said:



			How stupid can you get???
Anybody knows a dogs hearing is much more acute than ours.
Why on earth would it need headphones?
		
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Very good


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## Smiffy (Jan 17, 2017)

pokerjoke said:



			Very good
		
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No. It was crap


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## patricks148 (Jan 17, 2017)

Smiffy said:



			How stupid can you get???
Anybody knows a dogs hearing is much more acute than ours.
Why on earth would it need headphones?
		
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he was prob listening to Snoop


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## Lump (Jan 17, 2017)

Someone walking down the M1 on the hard shoulder at 11pm last night. He was not a highway worker thats for sure. Called the police to let them know, thankfully it had already been called in.


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## Pathetic Shark (Jan 17, 2017)

Bunch of school kids this morning walking straight across a side road without even looking.  

2 mins later on said school run, seeing one idiot park on the marked yellow lines, with a sign saying "no parking/dropping off here" to drop off their two sprogs.   And then lean out of the window for a chat with another parent whilst cars started tailing up behind.


This thread could become an absolute forum classic.


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## FairwayDodger (Jan 17, 2017)

Walking home from work tonight and waiting at a crossing for the light to change....

Goes to red, nearest car stops so I start to cross.... second car floors it and overtakes the car that had stopped, runs the red light.... misses me!  I haven't even finished swearing at him when the stupid man in the first car (the one that stopped) decides to go again. He runs the red light, long after it changed and the green man was on. Two utter morons.


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## stokie_93 (Jan 17, 2017)

Going on my lunch break to find a very drunk gent trying to open my locked car. 

He was adamant it was his taxi home:thup:

oh Stoke.


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## JohnnyDee (Jan 17, 2017)

Stupidly went out in my car around the home school run.

There was numptyism a-plenty with pillocks driving right up to the car they were following and blocking side roads so as others trying to cross the main road turning right were unable to do so. 

Not to mention hoards of other complete spanners, who when turning right, straddled the middle of the T junction wide enough for two vehicles thus blocking people behind them who could otherwise have turned left and been on their way.

Then returned home only to see The High Spanner, Trump, on a TV programme.


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## SocketRocket (Jan 17, 2017)

Smiffy said:



			No. It was crap


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Barking


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## GreiginFife (Jan 17, 2017)

I am working in Leeds at the minute and saw a hipster chap on his bicycle decide that red lights are not meant for his planet saving cyclonazi-ing.... only to be knocked off by a BUS that, luckily for him, was turning from a side road quite slowly. 
I see this more and more in Glasgow as well, cyclists thinking the rules of the road dont apply to them. Matter of time before there is a fatality on Queen Street.


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## ScienceBoy (Jan 17, 2017)

I passed a mirror while getting ready for work


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## Blue in Munich (Jan 17, 2017)

GreiginFife said:



			I am working in Leeds at the minute and saw a hipster chap on his bicycle decide that red lights are not meant for his planet saving cyclonazi-ing.... only to be knocked off by a BUS that, luckily for him, was turning from a side road quite slowly. 
I see this more and more in Glasgow as well, cyclists thinking the rules of the road dont apply to them. Matter of time before there is a fatality on Queen Street.
		
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At which point there will be a campaign to ban the buses because they are dangerous and it couldn't possibly be the cyclists' faultâ€¦â€¦. :angry:


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## GreiginFife (Jan 17, 2017)

Blue in Munich said:



			At which point there will be a campaign to ban the buses because they are dangerous and it couldn't possibly be the cyclists' faultâ€¦â€¦. :angry:
		
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You are correct Rich. Mind you, with 90% of the bus drivers, that's an accurate description.


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## SaintHacker (Jan 17, 2017)

I saw a bloke wearing a Portsmouth shirt...


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## Crazyface (Jan 18, 2017)

pauldj42 said:



			Just seen an Old Woman do an 8-9 point turn to get out of a disabled bay in the hospital car park, really shouldn't be driving on the public highway.
		
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I've thought for a very long time, that when you see things like this, you should be allowed to walk over, open the drivers door, remove the keys and launch them over the nearest fence.


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## bobmac (Jan 18, 2017)

I don't think you are allowed to launch an old woman over a fence


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## SteveW86 (Jan 18, 2017)

I had an interesting one at the driving range today. There were 3 young lads (id guess 16-18) who when I arrived were giving it their best Happy Gilmore impressions, I noticed that they had a hire club each so could tell they were just there for a bit of fun. They were being pretty loud and the ball was going pretty much everywhere other than out into the range. Didn't bother me though as I can zone out pretty well at the range, just as long as I didn't get hit with a ball.

I could hear other people there having a moan about them to each other, but I was just happy swinging away. Then, one of the lads approaches me and says..."excuse me, do you mind showing me how to hit it far?". I showed him a few things, then left him with the idea that he is more likely to hit it far if he stops trying to hit the ball as hard as he can. He thanked me and went back to his mates. I had a sneaky watch and he managed to hit some pretty good shots compared to his happy gilmore efforts. They left before me, and as they walked past they all thanked me for the tips.

I didn't know what to make of it at first, struck me as first impressions aren't always right, what looked to be a rowdy bunch being a nuisance turned into a group of polite teenagers. Hopefully they will be back


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## Doon frae Troon (Jan 18, 2017)

SteveW86 said:



			I had an interesting one at the driving range today. There were 3 young lads (id guess 16-18) who when I arrived were giving it their best Happy Gilmore impressions, I noticed that they had a hire club each so could tell they were just there for a bit of fun. They were being pretty loud and the ball was going pretty much everywhere other than out into the range. Didn't bother me though as I can zone out pretty well at the range, just as long as I didn't get hit with a ball.

I could hear other people there having a moan about them to each other, but I was just happy swinging away. Then, one of the lads approaches me and says..."excuse me, do you mind showing me how to hit it far?". I showed him a few things, then left him with the idea that he is more likely to hit it far if he stops trying to hit the ball as hard as he can. He thanked me and went back to his mates. I had a sneaky watch and he managed to hit some pretty good shots compared to his happy gilmore efforts. They left before me, and as they walked past they all thanked me for the tips.

I didn't know what to make of it at first, struck me as first impressions aren't always right, what looked to be a rowdy bunch being a nuisance turned into a group of polite teenagers. Hopefully they will be back
		
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Well done Steve, we would have a lot more people playing golf if they all had your attitude.
Old folk tend to forget forget how badly behaved they were when they were 16-18 years old.


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## SocketRocket (Jan 18, 2017)

SteveW86 said:



			I had an interesting one at the driving range today. There were 3 young lads (id guess 16-18) who when I arrived were giving it their best Happy Gilmore impressions, I noticed that they had a hire club each so could tell they were just there for a bit of fun. They were being pretty loud and the ball was going pretty much everywhere other than out into the range. Didn't bother me though as I can zone out pretty well at the range, just as long as I didn't get hit with a ball.

I could hear other people there having a moan about them to each other, but I was just happy swinging away. Then, one of the lads approaches me and says..."excuse me, do you mind showing me how to hit it far?". I showed him a few things, then left him with the idea that he is more likely to hit it far if he stops trying to hit the ball as hard as he can. He thanked me and went back to his mates. I had a sneaky watch and he managed to hit some pretty good shots compared to his happy gilmore efforts. They left before me, and as they walked past they all thanked me for the tips.

I didn't know what to make of it at first, struck me as first impressions aren't always right, what looked to be a rowdy bunch being a nuisance turned into a group of polite teenagers. Hopefully they will be back
		
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Anyone found to be enjoying themselves must leave the range immediately!


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## Tashyboy (Jan 18, 2017)

Went to me uncles funeral in Oldham yesterday. Had as good a day as you can have under the circumstances. Anyway I started on the red wine and it was flowing. Off to bed in the 247 hotel in Oldham. I was in and out of a deep sleep, all night tossing and turning. I could half hear some drunken shouting in the hallway. Which was met with the usual thoughts from me of gobby phalanx head drunken idiots 
Anyway I woke up this morning and asked Missis T what that was all about. Apparantly a women in the room opposite us was screaming that the guy in her room had raped her, the police had turned up and carted said idiot off. Went for our breakfast and the Police were in the reception. Not good at all.


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## Blue in Munich (Jan 18, 2017)

This morning's idiot had only de-iced his side windows sufficiently to see his wing mirrors, no view to either side whatsoever, the pillock.

This evening's utter cretin was fixing a water pipe problem.  In the freezing conditions, and despite there being a gully within 5 feet of him on the same side of the road, he saw fit to spray the water to the middle of the carriageway so it ran the full width of the road, doubtless to freeze later.  Brain dead.


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## IanM (Jan 18, 2017)

SaintHacker said:



			I saw a bloke wearing a Portsmouth shirt...
		
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.just for you...............not today, but a month or two back, I was crossing the footbridge next to Southampton Central Station and there were two lads (about 15 0r 16) loitering on the Bridge looking suspicious... I turned round to see them putting stickers on the bridge then ran off as fast as they could back toward the station.

The stickers had Pompey related stuff on them....   I guess they'd got the train over to do that and scarpered!   Football hooliganism isn't what it was!


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## Crow (Jan 18, 2017)

On the M6 today, saw someone on the hard shoulder, travelling in the opposite direction, on a pushbike,,


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## Imurg (Jan 18, 2017)

A Spotty Youth with a "Pimped" VW Golf.
Lowered, skirted and spoilered..
So low that he grounded his car on a set of speed bumps on an estate this afternoon...
He crawled over the first bump, obviously scraping his "performance" exhaust, tried to do the same on the next one and he actually came to a halt with all 4 wheels off the ground...
3 lads got out and started pushing.....The exhaust gave up and had a snooze on the road while smoke started coming from underneath the car.

I was nearly crying , it was so funny.....
How to cross the fine line between looking cool and looking like a dickhead - he crossed it big time.


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## patricks148 (Jan 18, 2017)

On the way to Nairn this morning a guy in a Land Rover Discovery doing just under 40 with his full beams on all the way. Its a busy road that time of the morning and just held up about 30 cars and lorries all the way. There are few chances of overtaking along this road at that time, but i managed to get past, but was almost blinded by his headlights as i got in front


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## drdel (Jan 18, 2017)

Guy in Wickes builders merchants using 3 elastic 'bungy' straps to hold a sheet of ply to his roof rack.  Didn't follow to see how his double wammy faired.


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## patricks148 (Jan 19, 2017)

walking the dogs last night along the side of the river Ness, saw a group of about 10 teenagers on BMX bikes riding down the road, no street lights here and none of them had any form of light and all  wearing dark clothing. i could only just see them as they went past me. oncoming car, only saw them as his headlights caught them, no where for him to go as they where right across the road. luckily they split and the car only just missed them. The car stopped as the driver could not believe what he had just seen. The bikers didn't, just joined up again and carried on..  those boys don't know how lucky they were.


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## Tashyboy (Jan 19, 2017)

Like the kid who came out of ASDA a couple of weeks ago doing a wheelie on his mountain bike. His front wheel missed my head by a foot. If it had hit me I would of been done for assault.


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## Marshy77 (Jan 19, 2017)

I'd put myself in this category!!

Frying some braising steak off on Sunday before putting them in a casserole dish to braise in the oven. Just wanted to seal the outside of the steaks so got my pan smoking hot, sealed the first one and got distracted and the pan was really smoking, took it off the heat for a few moments, splash of oil and then back on the heat. Placed (dropped) the steak into the pan and was then covered by red hot oil the splashed right up my left arm and also 3 spots on my face - one on my cheek, one at the side of my eye and the other inbetween my top lip and nose!!! Looks like some kind of disease! Just before my 40th birthday celebrations too!!

I am an idiot.


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## Crazyface (Jan 19, 2017)

Top tip:- You do not need to seal meat. Just chuck it in and stew it.


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## Slime (Jan 19, 2017)

ScienceBoy said:



			I passed a mirror while getting ready for work
		
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Same as that.
The frightening thing was that I thought it was my dad!


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## USER1999 (Jan 20, 2017)

A guy in a black 4x4 driving at 6.45 this morning, with no lights on, in the pitch black. Idiot.


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## Lord Tyrion (Jan 20, 2017)

I'm seeing a minimum one car a day driving at 8 in the morning with no lights on. Every day. Never a police car around when you want one.


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## ger147 (Jan 20, 2017)

Lord Tyrion said:



			I'm seeing a minimum one car a day driving at 8 in the morning with no lights on. Every day. Never a police car around when you want one.
		
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I genuinely don't understand how they don't know. Day running headlights are very bright so you could be fooled into thinking you have lights on looking out the windscreen. But surely the fact you can't see your dashboard because it's pitch black should be a dead giveaway???


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## Sweep (Jan 20, 2017)

ger147 said:



			I genuinely don't understand how they don't know. Day running headlights are very bright so you could be fooled into thinking you have lights on looking out the windscreen. But surely the fact you can't see your dashboard because it's pitch black should be a dead giveaway???
		
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You can get caught out. My car has auto lights but when I took it in for service last week they had turned the lights off. I also have daytime running lights so I didn't notice I had no lights on until I drove into a less well lit area. So I had lights on at the front (day running lights) but none on at the back and my instrument panel lit up like a Christmas tree. As it's digital, it's lit up all the time.


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## Region3 (Jan 20, 2017)

ger147 said:



			I genuinely don't understand how they don't know. Day running headlights are very bright so you could be fooled into thinking you have lights on looking out the windscreen. But surely the fact you can't see your dashboard because it's pitch black should be a dead giveaway???
		
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Even without auto headlights or daytime running lights, some cars have the dashboards permanently lit. I've had a Vauxhall and a Seat that both did it and it caught me out a few times.
You tend to notice relatively quickly though, like driving in dimly lit areas or you notice no relection on the car in front when you're in a queue.
People driving the whole journey like that are just not paying attention.


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## Dando (Jan 20, 2017)

on my walk to the station this morning a guy drove passed me trying to see out of his windscreen that was still frosted on the outside and steamed up on the inside. he was leaning forward looking out of the small area that his heater had cleared which was no more than 3-6 inches high.


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## Pin-seeker (Jan 20, 2017)

Saw a grown man wearing a football shirt (he wasn't playing football).


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## Bunkermagnet (Jan 20, 2017)

Region3 said:



			Even without auto headlights or daytime running lights, some cars have the dashboards permanently lit. I've had a Vauxhall and a Seat that both did it and it caught me out a few times.
You tend to notice relatively quickly though, like driving in dimly lit areas or you notice no relection on the car in front when you're in a queue.
People driving the whole journey like that are just not paying attention.
		
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My Volkswagon van has a dash binnacle that is lit all the time, however it also has a light sensor in the dash so if it detects the amibient light has dropped (going through a tunnel or night-time) the dash backlighting is dimmed to off so then your dash is black and unreadable until you turn the lights on.


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## Golfmmad (Jan 22, 2017)

Region3 said:



			Even without auto headlights or daytime running lights, some cars have the dashboards permanently lit. I've had a Vauxhall and a Seat that both did it and it caught me out a few times.
You tend to notice relatively quickly though, like driving in dimly lit areas or you notice no relection on the car in front when you're in a queue.
People driving the whole journey like that are just not paying attention.
		
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Speaking of daytime running lights, I think manufacturers should include rear lights as daytime lights as well. People think that  their daytime lights in poor visibility are enough, but its driving with no lights on at the rear.

I see so many idiots on motorways and dual carriageways driving in heavy rain with no lights on at all! The spray from the road surface makes them almost invisible. Why? Put yer flippin lights on!


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## CheltenhamHacker (Jan 22, 2017)

Golfmmad said:



			Speaking of daytime running lights, I think manufacturers should include rear lights as daytime lights as well. People think that  their daytime lights in poor visibility are enough, but its driving with no lights on at the rear.

I see so many idiots on motorways and dual carriageways driving in heavy rain with no lights on at all! The spray from the road surface makes them almost invisible. Why? Put yer flippin lights on!
		
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Hang on, you do or you don't see them?


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## Norrin Radd (Jan 22, 2017)

i saw one being sworn in as president of America


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## Pathetic Shark (Jan 22, 2017)

I saw about a million of them protesting about "democracy" because they lost.


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## Hobbit (Jan 22, 2017)

Norrin Radd said:



			i saw one being sworn in as president of America
		
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Damn! Beat me to it...


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## patricks148 (Jan 24, 2017)

Saw a woman heavily pregnant walking along the riverside tonight, absolutely stottin. 

My wife asked if she was OK, but only got the reply "feck off"


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Jan 25, 2017)

Why do people have their fog lights on in urban areas? If you can't see a car 30 yards in front of you then you shouldn't be on the road full stop!


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## Imurg (Jan 25, 2017)

Driving to the course this morning - it's dark, foggy, -2Â°C and slippy.(there's one idiot there!)
And I'm doing 29mph in a 30 limit - and I'm being overtaken.......
And as the Muppet pulls back in he sets up a slide, manages to correct it and disappears off into the gloom.....
Not sure what planet he was in orbit around but it wasn't ours..
He's probably in a ditch now......


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