# Golf Sayings that make you cringe



## Liverpoolphil (Apr 27, 2015)

So which popular golf sayings you here from people make you cringe

Ill start with 

38 points with x blobs

Purest form of golf


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## AmandaJR (Apr 27, 2015)

"Be the right club"

"You hit a good ball" or just "good ball"


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## Robobum (Apr 27, 2015)

"Sally Gunnell" etc

Zzzzzzz


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## JamesR (Apr 27, 2015)

On a par 4: "4 net 2 for 4 points"


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## JamesR (Apr 27, 2015)

Robobum said:



			"Sally Gunnell" etc

Zzzzzzz
		
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I think I have played with 10 different people who have supposedly played with the guy who said it to Mr Gunnell!


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## fundy (Apr 27, 2015)

well out (to any ball that leaves the bunker). always use when playing with Madadey though as this pushes him over the edge lol


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## Davey247 (Apr 27, 2015)

Other than MASHED POTATO - Mark Crossfield when he asks himself 'would I GAME this club' - never heard that expression until I started watching his vids.  Makes me shudder every time.


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## phil78 (Apr 27, 2015)

"I'll just finish that off"


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## Alex1975 (Apr 27, 2015)

Boooo Another post for people to moan about others in......


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## JamesR (Apr 27, 2015)

It drives me mad when I play with my boss (off 13). 
If I hit a shot and know it's a poor one, and react accordingly (perhaps saying "caught it fat" or "no, it's out of the toe") and he says good shot as it comes up short of the green.
He then goes onto tell me "well I'd have been happy with it"!
That makes me cringe!


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## tugglesf239 (Apr 27, 2015)

Gaming or gamed 

Yuk


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## fundy (Apr 27, 2015)

sorry we cant let you through were playing a match/comp

(i dont care what youre playing if youve lost holes on the group in front and are holding everyone else up)


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## ScienceBoy (Apr 27, 2015)

Alex1975 said:



			Boooo Another post for people to moan about others in......
		
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Not really the OPs fault that people get personal. 

I don't particular dislike a particular phrase but anyone who just talks in them for an entire round is not helpful and probably breaking rules if in a comp. I'm daily tolerant so just get on with enjoying golf itself.


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Apr 27, 2015)

Any 'Americanism'

Front side, back side, gaming, top of the bag, trap, double eagle etc etc

We have a perfectly good language and a game with hundreds of years of tradition, why do we have to change it because of a few American commentators?


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## bobmac (Apr 27, 2015)

I don't usually play this well
Home hole
Tee ball
Four par
Hole location
Trap
It's still you
Your next one should be on


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## Fyldewhite (Apr 27, 2015)

Great putt! Just before it dies and lips out.........any "saying" including the word StaPleford........and, saving the worst 'till last.....I don't go that far on my holidays!!


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## Khamelion (Apr 27, 2015)

The Sally Gunnell one is very old now and should be never uttered again.


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## matt71 (Apr 27, 2015)

when playing with my missus I get this quite often and does my head in :


"Think that's me 1,2 or 3 up"

" Sorry Matt you lost and buying the lunch..again"


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## robert.redmile (Apr 27, 2015)

you're not allowed to wear "xyz etc" in the clubhouse.........


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## garyinderry (Apr 27, 2015)

"Aw good putt"


A second before it lips out.   Like someone hitting you on the side of the face with a trout.


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## garyinderry (Apr 27, 2015)

Pin placement.  



Is hole location any better?


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## Rooter (Apr 27, 2015)

"you lifted your head then", or "you saw it before you hit it".. What the hell does that even mean? 

Those or loser buys the beers. Lucky i like buying beer.


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## Liverbirdie (Apr 27, 2015)

tugglesf239 said:



			Gaming or gamed 

Yuk
		
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+1 on them.


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## Rooter (Apr 27, 2015)

Liverbirdie said:



			+1 on them.
		
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What if you hit a great shot, can i follow it up with "wow Liverbirdie, you've got game today!" ? no? Ok..


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## Region3 (Apr 27, 2015)

Rooter said:



			What if you hit a great shot, can i follow it up with "wow Liverbirdie, you've got game today!" ? no? Ok..
		
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Try "you really know how to golf your ball" instead. :thup:


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## pokerjoke (Apr 27, 2015)

Think that's gone.

For a tee shot that's 50yards OOB


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## Jimaroid (Apr 27, 2015)

Khamelion said:



			The Sally Gunnell one is very old now and should be never uttered again.
		
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We get a variation of it here based on Liz McColgan. Even including the story about her husband which is especially odd considering the very public court case she went through.


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## drewster (Apr 27, 2015)

Dead Sheep !!!!


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## la_lucha (Apr 27, 2015)

The one winding me up at the moment is.....
If you could hit it straight you'd be off single figures. 

3 different PP have said that in the last two weeks and it winds me up every time.


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## Snelly (Apr 27, 2015)

Someone once asked me what the "turf interaction" was like with my new irons.  I told them to Foxtrot Oscar. 


If anyone said gaming to me relative to golf, I would react violently.


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## Rooter (Apr 27, 2015)

Snelly said:



			If anyone said gaming to me relative to golf, I would react violently.
		
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Are you playing at West Hill for H4H? I reckon you would try to kill me by the 3rd...


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## JamesR (Apr 27, 2015)

"Did you see it down?" - no sorry mate, the forest got in the way!

"FISM"


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## TonyN (Apr 27, 2015)

What do you play off? Oh yeah, no these clubs are for single figure players you wouldn't be able to hit them!


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## bladeplayer (Apr 27, 2015)

Not Sayings as such but .. 

Bite , bite ... Dude you just bladed a 3 iron , even if it had teeth it wouldn't bite ..

Go ball . Go Ball and then  in same sentence when ball did go .. sit now sit sit sit ..


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## Slab (Apr 27, 2015)

As Bob mentioned I hate hearing "It's still you"

Other thing I hate is "its too wet for buggys"


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## Lord Tyrion (Apr 27, 2015)

The worst for me is the non golfer saying, repeated by everyone I have ever met who does not play golf when they hear that I do: "Do you know what Mark Twain said about golf?......" Every time and they always think they are the first ones to quote it. 

As far as golfers go I have to agree with the stableford excuse of score followed by x number of blobs.


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## JamesR (Apr 27, 2015)

One of the regular one's when discussing courses:

"the Brabazon has a handful of iconic holes but other than that isn't that inspiring"


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## North Mimms (Apr 27, 2015)

"Good effort" means that you tried but it didn't quite work. So it's actually not much of a compliment.
I find myself saying this all the time- I can't help it


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## MendieGK (Apr 27, 2015)

Davey247 said:



			Other than MASHED POTATO - Mark Crossfield when he asks himself 'would I GAME this club' - never heard that expression until I started watching his vids.  Makes me shudder every time.
		
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Almost annoying as 'Lets get stuck in'


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## delc (Apr 27, 2015)

drewster said:



			Dead Sheep !!!!
		
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Still you (ewe)!


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## Liverbirdie (Apr 27, 2015)

Rooter said:



			What if you hit a great shot, can i follow it up with "wow Liverbirdie, you've got game today!" ? no? Ok..
		
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I'm only interested in game pie.


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## bobmac (Apr 27, 2015)

One


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## delc (Apr 27, 2015)

TV commentators (especially Americans) who state the blindingly obvious, e.g. "He'll want to make this putt"!


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 27, 2015)

Slab said:



			As Bob mentioned I hate hearing "It's still you"

Other thing I hate is "its too wet for buggys"
		
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Hate "too wet for buggies" ?! Sorry that's confused me


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## Slab (Apr 27, 2015)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Hate "too wet for buggies" ?! Sorry that's confused me
		
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Who really wants to walk in this heat?

Anyway very often the green to tee distance is ridiculous and buggys almost mandatory so I hate finding out we have to hoof it (its happened about four times in three years and its getting on my nerves


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## Spear-Chucker (Apr 27, 2015)

"3 metal". No, its a Â£$%&*%# "3 wood" and I'm about to bludgeon you to death with the aforementioned instrument. Butch Harmon, I'm looking at you.


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## Del_Boy (Apr 27, 2015)

Double eagle gets on my tits.  The old septic's have contributed a lot to the world but not this, it is albatross not double eagle


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## drewster (Apr 27, 2015)

delc said:



			Still you (ewe)!
		
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Bless you Derek, I know what it means , it just makes me cringe. I think Wayne Riley said it on commentary the first time I hear it years ago and since then the world and his dog think it's funny to say "dead sheep" followed by  "still you....get it ?"


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 27, 2015)

Slab said:



			Who really wants to walk in this heat?

Anyway very often the green to tee distance is ridiculous and buggys almost mandatory so I hate finding out we have to hoof it (its happened about four times in three years and its getting on my nerves   

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So it's not really a golf saying as such then ?! Hence the confusion


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## cookelad (Apr 27, 2015)

delc said:



			TV commentators (especially Americans) who state the blindingly obvious, e.g. "He'll want to make this putt"!
		
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In a similar vein when reading in various press (normally beeb website) " 'Out of form player' seeks return to form at 'next big tournament' " - Really you mean said out of form player doesn't want to continue hacking round at the back of the field?


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## la_lucha (Apr 27, 2015)

Spear-Chucker said:



			"3 metal". No, its a Â£$%&*%# "3 wood" and I'm about to bludgeon you to death with the aforementioned instrument. Butch Harmon, I'm looking at you.
		
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Technically though, it aint no wood.


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## Spear-Chucker (Apr 27, 2015)

la_lucha said:



			Technically though, it aint no wood.
		
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Can only agree on a technical level, daft not to, but I think its more of a cultural thing - nefarious as that type of thing is though


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## ArnoldArmChewer (Apr 27, 2015)

Liverpoolphil said:



			So which popular golf sayings you here from people make you cringe

Ill start with 

38 points with x blobs

Purest form of golf
		
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They don't bother me in the slightest and I know I am as guilty as EVERYONE else in trotting them out.


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## NorfolkShaun (Apr 27, 2015)

Spear-Chucker said:



			"3 metal". No, its a Â£$%&*%# "3 wood" and I'm about to bludgeon you to death with the aforementioned instrument. Butch Harmon, I'm looking at you.
		
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:thup:

Hate it when someone says, fairway metal......... or metal wood........


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## Foxholer (Apr 27, 2015)

Jimaroid said:



			We get a variation of it here based on Liz McColgan. Even including the story about her husband which is especially odd considering the very public court case she went through.
		
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And there's Sonia O'Sullivan for the Irish - at least for the first part!


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## Hobbit (Apr 27, 2015)

I've got several I trot out on a regular basis. I love their cringeworthyness, which is all part of the banter.

Its only a game.


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## NorfolkShaun (Apr 27, 2015)

Great putt if you wanted to be halfway


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 27, 2015)

Hobbit said:



			I've got several I trot out on a regular basis. I love their cringeworthyness, which is all part of the banter.

Its only a game.
		
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True 

I think the likes of "Dennis wise" and "sleeping with the sis in law" and even Sally Gunnell are part of the cheesy banter


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## Bazzatron (Apr 27, 2015)

Anyone care to help me out with the Sally Gunnell expression?


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## NorfolkShaun (Apr 27, 2015)

Bazzatron said:



			Anyone care to help me out with the Sally Gunnell expression?
		
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topped shot is which goes flying along the fairway 'ugly but a good runner'


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## Bazzatron (Apr 27, 2015)

NorfolkShaun said:



			topped shot is which goes flying along the fairway 'ugly but a good runner'
		
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 thanks.


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 27, 2015)

NorfolkShaun said:



			topped shot is which goes flying along the fairway 'ugly but a good runner'
		
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Or the Paula Radcliffe 

Still,ugly but goes a long way


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## Foxholer (Apr 27, 2015)

Liverpoolphil said:



			True 

I think the likes of "Dennis wise" and "sleeping with the sis in law" and even Sally Gunnell are part of the cheesy banter
		
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The 'clean' version of the 'sis-in-law' one is the 'son-in-law' - not quite what you had in mind!


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## NorfolkShaun (Apr 27, 2015)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Or the Paula Radcliffe 

Still,ugly but goes a long way
		
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or the christine ohuruogu but i do struggle pronouncing that one so stick with Sally.

One that upsets my PP is i can often get my left and rights mixed up while calling a ball so it sounds like i'm calling the ball to go in the lake etc. well the think i mix it up :smirk:


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## G_Mulligan (Apr 27, 2015)

la_lucha said:



			Technically though, it aint no wood.
		
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and irons aren't made of iron

My cringe phrase is "Never up never in" hate it!


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## USER1999 (Apr 27, 2015)

Great strike.

A good shot is a good shot, but a great strike is going into the trees, or OB.


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## Imurg (Apr 27, 2015)

Not golf specific but the phrase "Nothing better/worse than...."
Believe me, there is always something better/worse........


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## bluewolf (Apr 27, 2015)

When someone playfully shouts "FIVE", because "Fore", just isn't warning enough... Wind yer neck in fella..


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## Tashyboy (Apr 27, 2015)

Not read all the thread but played a "hitler" today.

Two shots in the bunker.


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## Tiger man (Apr 27, 2015)

That's pin high! Then lands 15 yards short


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## Imurg (Apr 27, 2015)

Someone, who shall remain nameless, regularly exclaims how good a line he's hit the ball on....regardless of whether its 30 yards long or short.....


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## GreiginFife (Apr 27, 2015)

G_Mulligan said:



			and irons aren't made of iron

My cringe phrase is "Never up never in" hate it!
		
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Umm, isnt steel made from iron? Albeit an alloy?

Cringeworthy phrases make for lightening a game that doesnt usually lighten itself.


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## HomerJSimpson (Apr 27, 2015)

Most of the oldies covered. Still get the "head up" know it all, usually off a higher handicap. Personally I'm not fussed if someone trots a hackneyed cliche out or not. Better than playing in stony silence. Sometimes I even find that someone making a sarky comment fires me up and I want to par the next just to shove a metaphoric two fingers up to them


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## Sats (Apr 28, 2015)

Lord Tyrion said:



			The worst for me is the non golfer saying, repeated by everyone I have ever met who does not play golf when they hear that I do: "Do you know what Mark Twain said about golf?......" Every time and they always think they are the first ones to quote it.
		
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I'm so with you on this one, i normally retort that Mark Twain was a utter t***er


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## Tiger man (Apr 28, 2015)

Care to enlighten me to the rest of this one?


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## davemc1 (Apr 28, 2015)

Not sure weather to add this one as it did make me laugh. It's an updated Sally Gunnel.

the sister inlaw 

you know you shouldn't be up there, but happy you are...  Still makes me smile


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## PhilTheFragger (Apr 28, 2015)

Imurg said:



			Someone, who shall remain nameless, regularly exclaims how good a line he's hit the ball on....regardless of whether its 30 yards long or short.....
		
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Its called taking a positive from a negative situation young padawan.  New Golf Thinking and all that 

Next you'll be whining about the 9 times you heard "That's A Par" last Friday


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## Imurg (Apr 28, 2015)

PhilTheFragger said:



			Its called taking a positive from a negative situation young padawan.  New Golf Thinking and all that 

Next you'll be whining about the 9 times you heard "That's A Par" last Friday   

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Funny......i thought I had 10 pars.......????


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## Lord Tyrion (Apr 28, 2015)

Tiger man said:



			Care to enlighten me to the rest of this one?
		
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I am in pain having to repeat this but for you..."golf is a good walk spoiled". Aaaaarrrgghhhhhhhh.


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## Crow (Apr 28, 2015)

Not so much a saying but oft trotted out on course websites: "a par here is always a good score"


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## Billythefish (Apr 28, 2015)

On the green,  after a put and it ends up still being further away from the other balls.  'Oh **** it's a FISM!'

Means **** it's still me


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## Tiger man (Apr 28, 2015)

Lord Tyrion said:



			I am in pain having to repeat this but for you..."golf is a good walk spoiled". Aaaaarrrgghhhhhhhh.
		
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Thank you, I did not mean to cause distress!


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## JohnnyDee (Apr 28, 2015)

A few that amuse me.

"How did that not drop?
"Great pick up there."
"That could be very expensive"
"I didn't get all of that"
"I can't believe that stayed straight and didn't break."
"I have a bit of a bad back today"


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## Region3 (Apr 28, 2015)

JohnnyDee said:



			"How did that not drop?"
		
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I'm afraid I'm guilty of that one, but usually after I've knocked it 3' wide and 5' short.


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## Val (Apr 28, 2015)

I'll just hit another one, just in case.


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## MadAdey (Apr 29, 2015)

fundy said:



			well out (to any ball that leaves the bunker). always use when playing with Madadey though as this pushes him over the edge lol
		
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Cheers Steve, there I was just about to post it myself.........:rofl:


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## MadAdey (Apr 29, 2015)

Crow said:



			Not so much a saying but oft trotted out on course websites: "a par here is always a good score"
		
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I've never understood that either. I've always considered a par a good score on any hole, I've certainly never considered a par a bad score. Maybe something along the lines of this would be a better way of putting it:

       "An accurate tee shot and approach is required on this long, tight, 
        par 4 if your going to make par"


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## Paul_Stewart (Apr 29, 2015)

"Good shot" said the moment the clubhead strikes the ball.
Followed by "that's unlucky" when the ball flies straight into the bunker it was going in all along.


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## NorfolkShaun (Apr 29, 2015)

Val said:



			I'll just hit another one, just in case.
		
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:thup:


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## Snelly (Apr 29, 2015)

The Americanisms on page 1 aside, none of these phrases annoy me in the slightest. I quite like most of them in fact. 

Part of the tapestry of the game and something to be embraced and enjoyed. 


Returning to the U.S. influence, I am reminded how irritating it is when people say the hole number as in "I got a birdie on 14" when they really mean, the 14th.


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## bobmac (Apr 29, 2015)

Snelly said:



			Returning to the U.S. influence, I am reminded how irritating it is when people say the hole number as in "I got a birdie on 14" when they really mean, the 14th.
		
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Or when they say "I'm playing golf Thursday" :angry:


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## bobmac (Apr 29, 2015)

No, I'm not going to bother hitting another one, we'll find that one


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## chrisd (Apr 29, 2015)

It's been said I know, but

You do not GAME clubs, balls or anything else, you play with them!

Get that through your thick skull, you do not GAME equipment!!


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## bobmac (Apr 29, 2015)

chrisd said:



			It's been said I know, but

You do not GAME clubs, balls or anything else, you play with them!

Get that through your thick skull, you do not GAME equipment!!
		
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While we're at it...............
Verbs are not to be used as nouns  :angry:


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## MadAdey (Apr 29, 2015)

chrisd said:



			It's been said I know, but

You do not GAME clubs, balls or anything else, you play with them!

Get that through your thick skull, you do not GAME equipment!!
		
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+1 &#128545;


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## Snelly (Apr 29, 2015)

chrisd said:



			It's been said I know, but

You do not GAME clubs, balls or anything else, you play with them!

Get that through your thick skull, you do not GAME equipment!!
		
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bobmac said:



			While we're at it...............
Verbs are not to be used as nouns  :angry:
		
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Totally agree. 

The vocabulary of empty heads.......


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## Hobbit (Apr 29, 2015)

A version of the Sally Gunnell, and not too clean.

"It's running like a sailor's... richard..."


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## Maninblack4612 (Apr 29, 2015)

"I'm afraid I'll have to see that in". If you're not going to give the putt keep your mouth shut!


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## MadAdey (Apr 29, 2015)

Maninblack4612 said:



			"I'm afraid I'll have to see that in". If you're not going to give the putt keep your mouth shut!
		
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Thats definatly a pointless phrase. Either give or not!


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## drewster (Apr 29, 2015)

"It's a good line in from there" after hooking it over trees onto a neighbouring fairway.  Well bloody aim that way then if it's so good.  "You've dropped your lipstick" and "Does your husband play ?"  if you leave it 6 inches short....really winds me up.


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## Crazyface (Apr 29, 2015)

"Oh well you're pin high" as you wade into deep thick rough

From a mate who doesn't play much comes this one after someone PUTTS in a tap in putt

"Good shot" :angry:


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## rksquire (Apr 29, 2015)

Bazzatron said:



			Anyone care to help me out with the Sally Gunnell expression?
		
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Didn't know myself - but found these.... that's me sorted for the weekend!

http://www.golftoday.co.uk/19th/humour/shot_names.html


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## matt71 (Apr 29, 2015)

rksquire said:



			Didn't know myself - but found these.... that's me sorted for the weekend!

http://www.golftoday.co.uk/19th/humour/shot_names.html

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love some of them lol


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## JohnnyDee (Apr 29, 2015)

Some great ones on this thread that have really made me laugh, and if I can just at my voice in support of the castigation of total and utter edits who insist upon using nouns as verbs.


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## dufferman (Apr 29, 2015)

"Home Course Bounce"

AKA

"Lucky Bounce"


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## Val (Apr 29, 2015)

A phrase i use that i know winds people up normally follows a knifed shot out of the bunker to my call - "well out" 

So if your playing with me and it happens to you don't be surprised :rofl:


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## Sponge1980 (Apr 29, 2015)

LOL, the "dead sheep" did make me laugh. I'm going to start using that striaght away.


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## Crow (Apr 29, 2015)

I like to use "well out" when somebody hits it fat from the fairway, or better still the tee.


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## bobmac (Apr 29, 2015)

If you had hit that 50 yards further, it would have been a good shot.
Be as good as I look
Did you get all of that?
Try and keep up
Watch the OOB on the right


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## Hobbit (Apr 29, 2015)

"Only the line and length kept it out."


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## TonyN (Apr 29, 2015)

'GET IN' 'ITS IN' 'CANT MISS' when your put isn't even half way. I swear this kept 5 of my putts out last night. Was fuming every time my partner shouted it and it lipped out. 

This was usually followed by 'How did that not go in'      

'BECAUSE YOU KEEP (Mod Edit) SHOUTING 'ITS IN' BEFORE IT IS' :rant:


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## Cheifi0 (Apr 29, 2015)

bobmac said:



			Or when they say "I'm playing golf Thursday" :angry:
		
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Just sounds like they're from Yorkshire.


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## JohnnyDee (Apr 29, 2015)

"They're not taking the break after all this rain", as yet another one misses the cup some 5 inches over-borrowed.

"Looked good in the air!", as a PP's putt leaps six inches in the air after hitting an unprepared pitch mark.


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## wrighty1874 (Apr 29, 2015)

You're playing well
Never up never in
Would let you through but you'll go nowhere


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## HomerJSimpson (Apr 29, 2015)

Think you better reload
Think you better reload again
That's 7 off the tee then


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## lobthewedge (Apr 29, 2015)

Playing the last hole of a 36hole championship as a junior, had a 4 shot lead and a wedge in my hand for my second shot. Proceeded to shank it into the car park in front of the waiting crowd.

My dad, who had picked up my bag and walked the last few holes with me, uttered the immortal words:

"What the (Mod Edit) did you do that for?  Quit fannying about, you're looking like a tit!"

Not so much a golf saying, but inspirational none the less.


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## MadAdey (Apr 30, 2015)

You've got a weak right hand


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## MadAdey (Apr 30, 2015)

HomerJSimpson said:



			Think you better reload
Think you better reload again
That's 7 off the tee then
		
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Never heard that one befor Homer, sounds like have though, on several occasions........


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## PhilTheFragger (Apr 30, 2015)

Guys Point of Order
Swearing or swearing with asterisks is strictly forbidden on this forum

Ive edited some, but future ones will result in Infractions, Please remind yourselves of the Forum rules at the top of OOB

Lets keep it nice please

Thank you


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## HickoryShaft (Apr 30, 2015)

What handicap did you say you were again? (after hitting a decent drive on the first)



Have to say - this is when I am playing a drawn game or match with people I don't normally play with. The guys I do play with normally take every opportunity for a wind up and its all part of the fun for me - the above would be the mildest opportunity in those games and its more likely to be :

What handicap did you say you were again? (after hitting a bad drive on the first):lol:


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## Sweep (May 1, 2015)

Commentators when a player sinks a putt on the 18th...
"That will make his dinner taste a little better"


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## williamalex1 (May 1, 2015)

I've heard " that's a giraffes ass " = high and stinking.
My favourite saying  is when playing our 3rd hole with new guests.

 The tee shot requires a minimum carry of 220 carry over water from the  whites .I call it a Barnes Wallace as I whistle the Dam-busters tune as their ball bounces almost ! across a water :rofl:

 A Robert The Bruce.  try try try again = 5 off the tee .


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## Foliage Finder (May 1, 2015)

Heard a couple of blokes last week talk about a gynaecologists assistant...

Had to look it up :mmm:


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