# Golf sayings that get on your proverbials...



## CMAC (Apr 29, 2014)

you know the ones, some sayings that make your hackles rise or eyes role

*"I left a few out there"*.....:angry: really, did you really, you mean your not a perfect golf robotic machine:rofl:

*"Good shot"* when you've thinned one that's low and fading to the OB:mmm:

*"take your time"* when you've said you're going to just finish the putt, they mean well but..

*"Never up never in"*, yes, yes I know that thanks, I was trying to get it in ffs :ears:


*"you lose"* needs no commentary


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## HawkeyeMS (Apr 29, 2014)

CMAC said:



			you know the ones, some sayings that make your hackles rise or eyes role

*"I left a few out there"*.....:angry: really, did you really, you mean your not a perfect golf robotic machine:rofl:

*"Good shot"* when you've thinned one that's low and fading to the OB:mmm:

*"take your time"* when you've said you're going to just finish the putt, they mean well but..

*"Never up never in"*, yes, yes I know that thanks, I was trying to get it in ffs :ears:


*"you lose"* needs no commentary

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I believe the "take your time" one is actually advice and a breach of the rules.

*"Never leave a birdie putt short"* - Well I didn't do it on purpose


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## Birchy (Apr 29, 2014)

"At least you gave it a go" Just after you belt a putt 6 feet past


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## dotty001 (Apr 29, 2014)

*Well out * when you've just about managed to move ball a yard out of the bunker , shut it , I took too much sand made a **** swing and now I'm fuming :rofl:


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## HawkeyeMS (Apr 29, 2014)

Ooooh, I just remembered this one....

*"That's a par for 4 points"* -  This really should never happen - ever


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 29, 2014)

"game" as in " I game Mizuno "

Also found out recently that telling someone to "take their time." Is the most broken rule in Amatuer golf


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## louise_a (Apr 29, 2014)

when you top one off the tee, "at least its straight" my mum used to say that a lot.


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## TheJezster (Apr 29, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			I believe the "take your time" one is actually advice and a breach of the rules.

*"Never leave a birdie putt short"* - Well I didn't do it on purpose 

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I wouldnt say it was personally.  I'd never call it as that either, It's not what I would class as 'advice' pertaining to the laws of golf.


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## Slab (Apr 29, 2014)

CMAC said:



			you know the ones, some sayings that make your hackles rise or eyes role

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*My Pro...* (he's not your pro he's the club pro or the pro)

*Book a lesson

Are you gonna pick it up now?*


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			"game" as in " I game Mizuno "

Also found out recently that telling someone to "take their time." Is the most broken rule in Amatuer golf
		
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 Is my 'get a bloody move on' advice/breaking a rule ?


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			Ooooh, I just remembered this one....

*"That's a par for 4 points"* -  This really should never happen - ever 

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 Agree, real men .................


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## gripitripit (Apr 29, 2014)

Be the right club.....
Get down......
At least you getting value for money..!


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## Stuey01 (Apr 29, 2014)

"Does your husband play golf too?" As you leave a putt short.

I quite like "good strike" as you belt one 6 ft by though.


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## Hobbit (Apr 29, 2014)

*"You're stood to close to it................... after you've hit it."* aaaarrrggghhh!!!! My response could be, "that's advice, you're DQ'd."


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## c1973 (Apr 29, 2014)

Definitely 'I game...' , 'what do you game' or any derivative - It's just so bleedin' annoying. I assume it's an Americanism?

The rest don't bother me much as long as it's well intended, or more importantly a bit of banter between friends.


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## HawkeyeMS (Apr 29, 2014)

TheJezster said:



			I wouldnt say it was personally.  I'd never call it as that either, It's not what I would class as 'advice' pertaining to the laws of golf.
		
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Unfortunately however, it is and as Phil said, the most commonly broken rule in amateur golf.


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## CMAC (Apr 29, 2014)

Slab said:



*My Pro...* (he's not your pro he's the club pro or the pro)

[/B]
		
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agreed, that and *my coach*, you mean the guy you and a thousand other hackers pay for a lesson:rofl:


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## CMAC (Apr 29, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			Unfortunately however, it is and as Phil said, the most commonly broken rule in amateur golf.
		
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yes, apparently so, can you imagine the scene if anyone was ever pulled up and penalised for it....oh mama!


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## tsped83 (Apr 29, 2014)

*"Bite, Bite, Bite!". 

*Golf balls do not have teeth.


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## Alex1975 (Apr 29, 2014)

We have a few post like this a year and I find it quite astonishing what winds people up.... Chill out people, its a game! People like to talk about it when they are playing it and generally speaking partners like to support one another in the form of encouraging comments. 


How could be the club, stay your line, get down wind anyone up. I love talking to my ball, I talk to others balls and others talk to my ball.... Its fun, your willing it to do what you request.

Should I not shout to the horses at the races last night... its part of the thing.

I do get that most of this post is pretty light light hearted but it seems that some of you walk round the course looking for trouble and hating on anyone who does not conform with your very dull outlook on our sport....


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## Stuey01 (Apr 29, 2014)

"One..."

Always good for a giggle.


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## Martin70 (Apr 29, 2014)

If you REALLY want to put someone off ask them "Do you breathe in or out during your backswing"  as they line up


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## CMAC (Apr 29, 2014)

Alex1975 said:



			We have a few post like this a year and I find it quite astonishing what winds people up.... Chill out people, its a game! People like to talk about it when they are playing it and generally speaking partners like to support one another in the form of encouraging comments. 


How could be the club, stay your line, get down wind anyone up. I love talking to my ball, I talk to others balls and others talk to my ball.... Its fun, your willing it to do what you request.

Should I not shout to the horses at the races last night... its part of the thing.

*I do get that most of this post is pretty light light hearted* but it seems that some of you walk round the course looking for trouble and hating on anyone who does not conform with your very dull outlook on our sport....
		
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I don't think you do Alex


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

"chill out, its only a game!"


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## el marko (Apr 29, 2014)

My swing coach. 

SIT SIT SIT

my gamer...


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

"well it sounded great" as you slice one wildly into the rough!


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## Birchy (Apr 29, 2014)

Rooter said:



			"well it sounded great" as you slice one wildly into the rough!
		
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That's a good one :thup:

Another is "good contact" despite the ball heading in the compete opposite direction of where it should be going :rofl:


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

"you lifted you head" or "you saw it before you hit it" what does that one even mean!! mate of mine uses that one a lot!


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## Alex1975 (Apr 29, 2014)

CMAC said:



			I don't think you do Alex

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I do but golfer do not really have the best reputation with the rest of the world for being a happy bunch of sportsmen and there is a good reason for that.... Why are you looking to exacerbate things that get on your wick and how can such things as "my pro" really whined you up? I mean really?!

I just think its bad vibes! Enough things to belly ake about in my opinion.


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## ScratchSRL (Apr 29, 2014)

When I know for a fact that it is out of bounds, GLARINGLY OBVIOUS, and a playing partner says *'that might just still be in play' *


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## Spear-Chucker (Apr 29, 2014)

'Herbert' holes out from 30ft; stands on one leg, clenches fist and bellows 'get in'. You Sir, are not Payne Stewart. You've just made a putt for seven. Grumpy? Yes. Sue me.


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## Martin70 (Apr 29, 2014)

When you leave a putt miles short and your mate shouts out "You've dropped your lipstick"


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## G.U.R (Apr 29, 2014)

"It's a better line in from there" as you end up on the wrong fairway/ rough..


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## Deleted Member 1156 (Apr 29, 2014)

Not a saying but hate it when people click their fingers as they race a putt past the hole.


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## bladeplayer (Apr 29, 2014)

Not alot bugs me on the course really except people talking just as im playing , if your talking fine  keep talking, 
 if your quiet stay quiet , its only a couple of seconds .. or loud people in other groups bellowing across the course no care for others 

A few that  use to bug me but i dont let them anymore

was someone saying "good shot"  when its obviously not , my answer used to be "depends on your expectations i suppose"

someone hitting a rubbish shot with a great result then acting like they meant to play it that way. to which my reply would be "that takes practice  to get right "


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## CMAC (Apr 29, 2014)

Alex1975 said:



			I do but golfer do not really have the best reputation with the rest of the world for being a happy bunch of sportsmen and there is a good reason for that.... Why are you looking to exacerbate things that get on your wick and how can such things as "my pro" really whined you up? I mean really?!

I just think its bad vibes! Enough things to belly ake about in my opinion.
		
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Alex, it's all just a bit of fun, really, I'm sure none of us actually get wound up, it's forum talk- join in.........it's fun


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## Stuey01 (Apr 29, 2014)

G.U.R said:



			"It's a better line in from there" as you end up on the wrong fairway/ rough..
		
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That's a classic. Love that one.


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## One Planer (Apr 29, 2014)

My personal favourite:

*"It looked good in the air!"*

The fact it flew the green and went OOB is irrelevant then??


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## Beezerk (Apr 29, 2014)

Martin70 said:



			When you leave a putt miles short and your mate shouts out "You've dropped your lipstick"
		
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I ain't got a clue what that means but I may have to use it myself


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## 6inchcup (Apr 29, 2014)

when your playing partner carves one to the left or the right and the saying "not bad it has opened the green up from there" falls from their lips,even though they are knee deep in the clag.


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## Martin70 (Apr 29, 2014)

Beezerk said:



			I ain't got a clue what that means but I may have to use it myself 

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He is implying you are putting like a girl


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## HawkeyeMS (Apr 29, 2014)

CMAC said:



			Alex, it's all just a bit of fun, really, I'm sure none of us actually get wound up, it's forum talk- join in.........it's fun

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Speak for yourself "Par for 4 points!" indeed 
	





















:rofl:


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## G.U.R (Apr 29, 2014)

After hitting a tree/mound and ending back on the fairway/green you claim use of "local knowledge".


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

drive4show said:



			Not a saying but hate it when people click their fingers as they race a putt past the hole.
		
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 I agree with that one. Also people that say get in the hole, when your putt is heading into a bunker.:angry: Can't wait to play with Smiffy again.


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## GB72 (Apr 29, 2014)

Sorry but I hate all those little sayings like 'a Sally Gunnell' or an 'Adolf Hitler'. They are not funny, sound totally forced and everyone has heard them all before. 

Also dislike the use of 'not stylish but effective' as I thin one onto the green (even worse I now find myself saying it every now and again)


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## JamesR (Apr 29, 2014)

I really grates when, after you've clearly caught it heavy, your playing partner suggests perhaps you under clubbed.


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## Twire (Apr 29, 2014)

After I've knobbled one 50 yards up the fairway, my misses will say 'well at least it's going in the right direction'.


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## Foxholer (Apr 29, 2014)

GB72 said:



			Sorry but I hate all those little sayings like 'a Sally Gunnell' or an 'Adolf Hitler'. They are not funny, sound totally forced and everyone has heard them all before. 

Also dislike the use of '*not stylish but effective*' as I thin one onto the green (even worse I now find myself saying it every now and again)
		
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Well that could be the 'Sister-in-law' shot or the 'Giggsy'! Or, the cleaner version: the Son-in-law shot - not quite what you had in mind! Heard a new one on Sunday: The Bernie Madoff - Plenty of green and a great lie!


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## two-clubs (Apr 29, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			"game" as in " I game Mizuno "

Also found out recently that telling someone to "take their time." Is the most broken rule in Amatuer golf
		
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c1973 said:



			Definitely 'I game...' , 'what do you game' or any derivative - It's just so bleedin' annoying. I assume it's an Americanism?

The rest don't bother me much as long as it's well intended, or more importantly a bit of banter between friends.
		
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Yes, most definitely this.


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## guest100718 (Apr 29, 2014)

GB72 said:



			Sorry but I hate all those little sayings like 'a Sally Gunnell' or an 'Adolf Hitler'. They are not funny, sound totally forced and everyone has heard them all before. 

Also dislike the use of 'not stylish but effective' as I thin one onto the green (even worse I now find myself saying it every now and again)
		
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Yep.


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## Slab (Apr 29, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			Speak for yourself "Par for 4 points!" indeed 
	View attachment 10207


:rofl:
		
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Is _that's a bogey for 3pts_ better?


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## fundy (Apr 29, 2014)

No pictures on the scorecard 

TBH Im with Al on this (he does spend a lot of time trying to talk to my golf ball though!!!!!)


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## Alex1975 (Apr 29, 2014)

fundy said:



			No pictures on the scorecard 

TBH Im with Al on this (he does spend a lot of time trying to talk to my golf ball though!!!!!)
		
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AaaHummm.... I think you are thinking of Neil!..... Neil "GET UP".... ball flies the green.....


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## RichardSanderson (Apr 29, 2014)

"that would have been perfect if..." - Well it didn't and it isn't perfect! Might as well say "that would have been perfect if I'd hit a decent shot".

"Fore" (at nothing more than a raised voice whilst watching a ball drift OB 300 yards away)

"good weight" at a putt that finishes 7 yards left of the hole.

"golf shot" 

"what bats are you using? / nice bats"


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## USER1999 (Apr 29, 2014)

It's in, when it isn't.


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

Well it's pin high... As you miss a green by 30 yards left of right.


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## StrangelyBrown (Apr 29, 2014)

Unlucky.

No it wasn't... I hit the ground an inch and a half before the ball.


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## DannyOT (Apr 29, 2014)

*'Stay up!'* - When a put is rolling off line away from the hole. 'Stay up' sounds like they want it to stay out of the hole and miss.


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## CheltenhamHacker (Apr 29, 2014)

StrangelyBrown said:



			Unlucky.

No it wasn't... I hit the ground an inch and a half before the ball.
		
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This is what gets to me. When I've just duck hooked one off the tee, after playing badly for the few holes before that. "unlucky". Nonsense, no luck about it, just my poor swing!


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## StrangelyBrown (Apr 29, 2014)

CheltenhamHacker said:



			This is what gets to me. When I've just duck hooked one off the tee, after playing badly for the few holes before that. "unlucky". Nonsense, no luck about it, just my poor swing!
		
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I guess that it's a bit more polite than "aye, that swing was utter manure mate"


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## dotty001 (Apr 29, 2014)

Gil_Emott said:



			I really grates when, after you've clearly caught it heavy, your playing partner suggests perhaps you under clubbed.
		
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Ahh yes the confused look and question what club did you hit , it doesn't flipping matter when you chunk it like that


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

"oh thats why you are a mid/high handicap"

"if you could drive, chip and putt, you would be ok at this game!"


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## BoadieBroadus (Apr 29, 2014)

"trees are 90% air"


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## Stuey01 (Apr 29, 2014)

BoadieBroadus said:



			"trees are 90% air"
		
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So is a net.

"Apart from the line and length that was a good putt"

"That's a dead sheep"


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## Imurg (Apr 29, 2014)

No worries, plenty of green to work with........

#GCW


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## Mattyboy (Apr 29, 2014)

There's only one that gets on my wick......

'Was that an eight or a nine?'

UUUUURRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!:angry:


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## Doon frae Troon (Apr 29, 2014)

Tiger Woods is the best golfer the world has seen.


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## User20205 (Apr 29, 2014)

All of them, especially all of that 'Sally gunnell' nonsense as mentioned before, smacks of Mickey Mouse muni golf to me. It was never funny....and never will be!!

The other thing that grinds my gears (apart from 'gaming' ffs) is being told 'good shot' when it's not.

It's just an empty platitude, just say nothing !!


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 29, 2014)

therod said:



			All of them, especially all of that 'Sally gunnell' nonsense as mentioned before, smacks of Mickey Mouse muni golf to me. It was never funny....and never will be!!

The other thing that grinds my gears (apart from 'gaming' ffs) is being told 'good shot' when it's not.

It's just an empty platitude, just say nothing !!
		
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Look forward to North Hants  

Lots of good shots and Paula Radcliffes


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## hoop67 (Apr 29, 2014)

2 Words...bats  track.........They are not bats.They are golf clubs.It is not a track.It is a golf course.Gets on my thrupny bits


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## User20205 (Apr 29, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Look forward to North Hants  

Lots of good shots and Paula Radcliffes 

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you gonna be 'gaming' your new big dog ???:thup:


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## Hobbit (Apr 29, 2014)

hoop67 said:



			2 Words...bats  track.........They are not bats.They are golf clubs.It is not a track.It is a golf course.Gets on my thrupny bits
		
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Track...TRACK!... horses use tracks ya big... I hate track.


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 29, 2014)

therod said:



			you gonna be 'gaming' your new big dog ???:thup:
		
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:rofl:

Will be getting lots of "Sally Gunnells"


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## Scooby999 (Apr 29, 2014)

Nothing really gets to me, love banter esp when you can give each other a good slating!

only one golfing saying that gets me is shouting "get in the hole" on TV!


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## Sponge1980 (Apr 29, 2014)

"Did you see where that went?" 

From players who watch their ball until it stops rolling on the fairway but turn away in disgust at anything wayward.


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## mefromhere (Apr 29, 2014)

"Looked good in the air" when your putt has taken a massive bobble and finished halfway to the hole.

More annoyed at the green than the person saying it though ...


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## sev112 (Apr 29, 2014)

"36 points with 3 blobs"

EVERYONE had 3 blobs and they didn't win either !!! Grrrrrrrr


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

therod said:



			All of them, especially all of that 'Sally gunnell' nonsense as mentioned before, smacks of Mickey Mouse muni golf to me. It was never funny....and never will be!!

The other thing that grinds my gears (apart from 'gaming' ffs) is being told 'good shot' when it's not.

It's just an empty platitude, just say nothing !!
		
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 I will email this post to the Mariners,  just so they don't say anything to upset you.


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## Rooter (Apr 29, 2014)

Ouch, that was a Brazilian...


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Look forward to North Hants  

Lots of good shots and Paula Radcliffes 

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 Don't mention that he was out driven by a geriatric, after creaming one on the long drive hole at Cowdray..


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## MadAdey (Apr 29, 2014)

Where do I start then?

*"well out" *No I over swung, quit on it and was lucky to move it 1 yard out of the bunker.
*"that was unlucky" *No, I missed the fairway by 10 yards and got stuck behind a tree, it was a crap swing and I was lucky to find it in the first place.
*"it was a good line" *No my ball has just lipped out and gone 3 foot past. If the pace was better then the line was wrong and I would have missed it by 6" on the low side, so the line was not good.
*"you left a few shots out there today" *No I hit 3 bad chips that cost me 3 shots, I didn't leave anything out the
*"BITE, BITE, BITE" *contrary to popular belief golf balls do not have teeth and if they did they would still not be able to sink them in after that 3w never got above 6 foot from the deck
*"what did you hit there" *I thought it was a little round white thing, Titleist wrote on the side, goes by the name of a GOLF BALL! Or did I hit something else by mistake......

TO be honest not a lot bugs me on the course and I just see this thread as a bit of fun, but the above saying always make me chuckle to myslf.


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

I like to say bite bite when I top a lob wedge 50 yards through the green. I could say a lot worse.


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## RGDave (Apr 29, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			Ooooh, I just remembered this one....

*"That's a par for 4 points"* -  This really should never happen - ever 

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I agree.


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## Hobbit (Apr 29, 2014)

What's wrong with a par for 4 points? Someone played well, and probably well above their standard.

Its the 8 for a point that winds me up. A triple bogey gets a point?!?!?


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## richart (Apr 29, 2014)

Hobbit said:



			What's wrong with a par for 4 points? Someone played well, and probably well above their standard.

Its the 8 for a point that winds me up. A triple bogey gets a point?!?!?
		
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 Don't you mean a snowman ?


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## Pin-seeker (Apr 29, 2014)

When none golfers say 'it's a good walk spoiled' oh how I laugh


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## NST (Apr 29, 2014)

GB72 said:



			Sorry but I hate all those little sayings like 'a Sally Gunnell' or an 'Adolf Hitler'. They are not funny, sound totally forced and everyone has heard them all before. 

Also dislike the use of 'not stylish but effective' as I thin one onto the green (even worse I now find myself saying it every now and again)
		
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My boy goes to the same school as Sally Gunnell's children. When she married she didn't take her husbands surname. At last years school golf day, one of the dads shouted 'gone on Sally' after topping a driver down the fairway. Another in the group asked him to explain, so he said, not pretty but a great runner, you know like Sally Gunnell. The reply, that's my wife!


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## Swinger (Apr 29, 2014)

I hate it when people refer to what it obviously a push hook as a 'draw' and when people refer to a shank as 'nearly a perfect shot'.


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## Rumpokid (Apr 29, 2014)

"There for nothing"...High handicapper, hitting ball like low handicapper in Stableford...Grrrrr....


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## Stuey01 (Apr 29, 2014)

When someone thins one that never gets off the ground and runs and runs... "Nice putt"


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## Papas1982 (Apr 29, 2014)

Be the club & be lucky!

2nd is especially annoying as my bro in law appears to have a tree resistant ball!!


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## Fish (Apr 29, 2014)

I'm taking a Gerry Adams

Gonna use my Michael Barrymore

That's gone Ken Livingstone


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## Alex1975 (Apr 29, 2014)

Pin-seeker said:



			When none golfers say 'it's a good walk spoiled' oh how I laugh 

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Ahh this one I agree with. Usually said by people who don't take walks either....


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## Pin-seeker (Apr 29, 2014)

Alex1975 said:



			Ahh this one I agree with. Usually said by people who don't take walks either....
		
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Thing is mate they actually think it's funny & that no one as ever said it before.


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## wrighty1874 (Apr 29, 2014)

And they know damn well it's a 9!!



Mattyboy said:



			There's only one that gets on my wick......

'Was that an eight or a nine?'

UUUUURRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!:angry:
		
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## IainP (Apr 29, 2014)

In the spirit of the thread, 'grinds my gears'   

Okay maybe not a golf saying, but had not come across it until on here!


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## Twin Lakes (Apr 29, 2014)

Good shot........ 
I'm playing well at the moment (but not scoring).............
I've got 2 shot's here...................:clap:
It was tough out there..................(The winner didn't struggle)
Made a par with my 2nd ball............!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm off ??? but everyone says I'm better than that..............
Those provisionals always go well..................


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## 3565 (Apr 29, 2014)

After being drubbed 5&3 and you've shot 2 over to that point, to hear him say, 

'i just had one of them days' 

he is lucky not to get a 9i in his skull........


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## Liverpoolphil (Apr 29, 2014)

3565 said:



			After being drubbed 5&3 and you've shot 2 over to that point, to hear him say, 

'i just had one of them days' 

he is lucky not to get a 9i in his skull........
		
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That just seems someone trying to be nice in winning 

Players do have "those days"


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## davidy233 (Apr 29, 2014)

3565 said:



			After being drubbed 5&3 and you've shot 2 over to that point, to hear him say, 

'i just had one of them days' 

he is lucky not to get a 9i in his skull........
		
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I can guarantee I'm not going to be nice enough to say 'I just had one of those days' - golf is a social activity - matchplay is war

And by the way I'll talk to my ball if I want


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## ventura (Apr 29, 2014)

Oh you've been playing golf this morning, did you win?

Well there's 150 people playing today, I was in the fourth group out and the results won't be posted for 2 days. I'm not sure yet!


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## Idlenorth1 (Apr 29, 2014)

An older member I played with last year said to me after I had topped it off the tee, " that my boy was premature adulation" 
It made us all laugh and whenever I see someone top it now or do it myself I always think of that comment, lightens the mood


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## Sir Scoop-A-Lot (Apr 29, 2014)

Mine is definitely.... *you have to keep your head down*


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## Allanxyz (Apr 29, 2014)

Sir Scoop-A-Lot said:



			Mine is definitely.... *you have to keep your head down*

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Definitely this... for two reasons.
Firstly you're not in the best of moods as you've just topped it
Secondly this is a dead give away that the person has no idea about golf and is the last person who should be giving out advice, invariably I've been given this advice by someone who's been hacking their way round the course.


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## 3565 (Apr 29, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			That just seems someone trying to be nice in winning 

Players do have "those days"
		
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or it could be rubbing salt into the wound, it's bad enough getting a hammering, but when they say that..........


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## Franco (Apr 29, 2014)

I am a novice, and notice that FCs become upset at my lack of gratitude when they 'help' me with 'You lifted your head' and 'Don't try to hit it so far'.  I really need to exercise self-control when I hear 'Too hard' when the ball goes two yards past the cup.


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## Evesdad (Apr 29, 2014)

Hobbit said:



			What's wrong with a par for 4 points? Someone played well, and probably well above their standard.

Its the 8 for a point that winds me up. A triple bogey gets a point?!?!?
		
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Had both in my round on Saturday!


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## mchacker (Apr 29, 2014)

As above, any misplaced (well intentioned or otherwise) advice is met with a grunt while I try not to bark a forceful instruction to be quiet with a particular focus on four letters. All the other I can take as it's just someone trying to make conversation, Can't say I'm a fan of awkward silences, not least when someone is obviously fuming after blading a wedge. In fact thinking about it, I quite welcome the silly comments as it takes the focus of my mind away from the bad shot.

That said, no pictures on a scorecard doesn't fit the way I like to play the game so not a big fan of that one.


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## Big D 88 (Apr 30, 2014)

When someone tee's off...Poses...bends down picks their tee up..turns arounds smugly and replaces the headcover to their driver

Then we walk down the fairway to ,

'Did you see where my ball entered the rough'


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## backwoodsman (Apr 30, 2014)

I'm with those in the don't like "SIT" or "BITE" group. I know I've thinned it; they know I've thinned it; yet still they say it even though we both know it's not going to stop until it's 50 yards past the green. Grrr.

And when I leave a putt a foot short, the next person who who says "Did you know it's been proved that 95% of short putts don't go in the hole" is going to get my putter inserted somewhere south.


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## Pathetic Shark (Apr 30, 2014)

People who say "good shot" as soon as you've made contact.  And then when it flies straight into the rough, a bunker or trees, "that was unlucky".  No it's the fact that you're a complete nob  (copyright Smiffy 2006-2013).


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## ArnoldArmChewer (Apr 30, 2014)

Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.


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## Slab (Apr 30, 2014)

ArnoldArmChewer said:



			Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.
		
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To be honest I think its the sayings themselves that are the issue, not the players. 

Most of these sayings were probably uttered within 2 weeks of the game being invented and (other than updating a few with relevant names) have remained unchanged 

We need some new, original...and genuinely funny ones. I'd start a list but the only laugh out loud one I've heard recently might not be deemed forum safe


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## Stuey01 (Apr 30, 2014)

ArnoldArmChewer said:



			Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.
		
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I love all these sayings, just a bit of fun aren't they. I'm just tossing them out there on this thread to see if they get a reaction.
Not at the North Hants thing though so no help to you...


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## User20205 (Apr 30, 2014)

Stuey01 said:



			I love all these sayings, just a bit of fun aren't they...
		
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Nope, they are toe curling and should incur some kind of penalty under the rules of golf


At HFH there should be some kind of fines system set up. Â£10 a cliche :thup:


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## dewsweeper (Apr 30, 2014)

Playing an inter club vets 4 ball ,one of our opponents hit one into the trees to the left of the fairway.He asked if anyone had seen it finish ,my partener, a very well spoken chap replied "yes,you are arborially challenged".
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"You're in the ******* trees his fc replied!


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## Birchy (Apr 30, 2014)

ArnoldArmChewer said:



			Wow, having just read 12 pages of posts it seems that every forum member hates all forms of humour (attempted) platitudes or general craic, now here's the thing should I cancel my H4h entry to north hants, cos I think at some time I must have uttered all of these terms, I only said them in good part and didn't realise what heanous crimes they really were. So if I were to play at H4h in sept I would need to act like a member of a silent order for the day, as there doesn't seem to be 3 other forum members who would not deposit a putter where the sun don't shine ( how I hate that saying :thup as soon as I uttered my first hallo.
		
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## Rooter (Apr 30, 2014)

therod said:



			Nope, they are toe curling and should incur some kind of penalty under the rules of golf


At HFH there should be some kind of fines system set up. Â£10 a cliche :thup:
		
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That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?


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## Hammertoe (Apr 30, 2014)

I remember a few guys I used to play with when younger and when anyone hit a good shot they would shout 'great hands' which I just thought ridiculous and could never understand, also if anyone got the slighest bit of backspin they would make this noise like 'whooooooooooop', god they used to annoy me.

But on the other hand I do quite like a lot of golf 'catchphrases', I used to play in a small society with an elder gentleman who by his own admission was not a great golfer, and if he hit a bad shot he would say 'I was lucky I even hit that' which used to crack me up and one of my favourites is 'oh it wiped its feet' if a putt runs the hole before dropping.


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## ArnoldArmChewer (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?
		
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Can I play with you ?


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## c1973 (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?
		
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:rofl: What 'track' you 'gaming' your 'bats' at?


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## Rooter (Apr 30, 2014)

ArnoldArmChewer said:



			Can I play with you ?
		
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Of course, we can play "ClichÃ© Bingo"


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## Rooter (Apr 30, 2014)

c1973 said:



			:rofl: What 'track' you 'gaming' your 'bats' at?
		
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Any, i just love spoiling a good walk chasing a little white ball round a field.


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## ArnoldArmChewer (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Of course, we can play "ClichÃ© Bingo"
		
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Great, 'I will get my people to talk to your people'.


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## c1973 (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Any, i just love spoiling a good walk chasing a little white ball round a field.
		
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Bet you've never been for a walk in yer life.


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## User20205 (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Any, i just love spoiling a good walk chasing a little white ball round a field.
		
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You're already Â£100 down. Fined for having a pregnant wife and not running the detail past paddy first!!

Family before golf


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## Rooter (Apr 30, 2014)

therod said:



			You're already Â£100 down. Fined for having a pregnant wife and not running the detail past paddy first!!

Family before golf 

Click to expand...

My Bad


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## CMAC (Apr 30, 2014)

Rooter said:



			That could get expensive if i am *gaming my new big dog,* sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?
		
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pray tell, forsooth what #1 had replaced your #1?


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## Rooter (Apr 30, 2014)

CMAC said:



			pray tell, forsooth what #1 had replaced your #1?
		
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keep up Cmac! the R1 is on the naughty step, have joined team #Boomross with their HotSpeed2 12* in regular  goes long and straight! something the R1 didnt do very often!! LOL


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## Crazyface (Apr 30, 2014)

"Where the f*** has that gone?" 

Really winds me up. I know it's my fault my balls gone god knows where, but it still annoys me.


PS Some of theses have really made me chuckle !!!!


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## HomerJSimpson (Apr 30, 2014)

Maybe I'm mellowing but to a large degree all of these banal clichÃ©s pass me by. They are hackneyed and just trotted out almost like some form of golfing tourettes. As long as the rest of the conversation during the round is convivial I'm happy. For me, the thing that does wind me up (but is fortunately relatively rare amongst those I play with) is the guy who won't help you or your partners look for a ball in the rough


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 1, 2014)

Just waiting for the first time I hear one of a foursomes pair mess up and declare 'my bad'.  I will surprised if it will be any of my regular foursomes partners  - I am highly selective over who I play foursomes with (my partners are less so).

The expression 'my bad' is a truly awful corruption of our language that should be eradicated by a thorough stamping upon whenever heard uttered.


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## Rooter (May 1, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			Just waiting for the first time I hear one of a foursomes pair mess up and declare 'my bad'.  I will surprised if it will be any of my regular foursomes partners  - I am highly selective over who I play foursomes with (my partners are less so).

The expression 'my bad' is a truly awful corruption of our language that should be eradicated by a thorough stamping upon whenever heard uttered.
		
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So looking forward to having a knock with you hugh! you are going to hate me with my GPS and my street talk!


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## richart (May 1, 2014)

Rooter said:



			That could get expensive if i am gaming my new big dog, sally gunnell up the first, take my strimmer into the jungle after the second, a hitler from the bunker to 3 stab on the short stuff with a brazillian thrown in and a drop of lipstick. Is a fist pump OK when i knock it in for 6 for 2 points?
		
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 Just leave a cheque payable to Help For Heroes, and we will fill in an appropriate amount.:thup:


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## richart (May 1, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			Just waiting for the first time I hear one of a foursomes pair mess up and declare 'my bad'.  I will surprised if it will be any of my regular foursomes partners  - I am highly selective over who I play foursomes with (my partners are less so).

The expression 'my bad' is a truly awful corruption of our language that should be eradicated by a thorough stamping upon whenever heard uttered.
		
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 I am worried now, I agree with you.


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## richart (May 1, 2014)

HomerJSimpson said:



			Maybe I'm mellowing but to a large degree all of these banal clichÃ©s pass me by. They are hackneyed and just trotted out almost like some form of golfing tourettes. As long as the rest of the conversation during the round is convivial I'm happy. For me, the thing that does wind me up (but is fortunately relatively rare amongst those I play with) is the guy who won't help you or your partners look for a ball in the rough
		
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 They don't worry me, and often are said because you can't think of anything else to say. I might try telling partners after a poor shot, that it was absolutely .... (insert appropriate word)  shot, and probably the worst shot I have ever seen. They may feel better than me saying unlucky, or well out etc.

Relax, 'pull down your pants and slide on the ice' From M*A*S*H, so pants mean trousers before any of you get arrested.


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## Liverpoolphil (May 1, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Of course, we can play "ClichÃ© Bingo"
		
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I'm "game" for that 

Sounds like a right good laugh


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## Rooter (May 1, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			I'm "game" for that 

Sounds like a right good laugh
		
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Only if you promise high fives on the green for a net par!


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## Liverpoolphil (May 1, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Only if you promise high fives on the green for a net par!
		
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Forget high fives !! It has to be the Kuchar/Woods celeb from Presidents Cup !


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## Snelly (May 1, 2014)

None of these things bother me.

I heard a new one yesterday if fact....

Paddy - Hmmm, bit of a son-in-law there........

Me - don't you mean a sister in law, as in you're up there but you know you shouldn't be?

Paddy - nope, a son-in-law - "not quite what I was hoping for."


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## Rooter (May 1, 2014)

Liverpoolphil said:



			Forget high fives !! It has to be the Kuchar/Woods celeb from Presidents Cup !
		
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Done! can we get a tour bag with a radio like the guy in caddyshack? we will be the most loved group on the course by far no?!


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## Khamelion (May 1, 2014)

Are these some of the sayings you refer to

[video=youtube;_VgqyVnE_yg]http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=_VgqyVnE_yg[/video]


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## DaveM (May 1, 2014)

really I hope you are all joking. But I guess some mean it. You play golf for fun it's not your living. So lighten up enjoy, or take up tennis.


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## williamalex1 (May 1, 2014)

You need a sense of humour when playing our 3rd hole, which has a 220 yrd carry over water from the back tee. We normally whistle the Dam Busters theme when some poor sole fails to clear, then mention Barnes Wallace's.:rofl:


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## Doon frae Troon (May 1, 2014)

Best original saying in recent years came form a rather posh Turnberry member.

Well that was a 'Son in Law'.

'Bit of a disappointment and didn't really turn out as expected'


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 1, 2014)

Rooter said:



			So looking forward to having a knock with you hugh! you are going to hate me with my GPS and my street talk! 

Click to expand...

I'm actually pretty laid back


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## triple_bogey (May 1, 2014)

mentions this............


SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			Just waiting for the first time I hear one of a foursomes pair mess up and declare 'my bad'.  I will surprised if it will be any of my regular foursomes partners  -* I am highly selective over who I play foursomes with* (my partners are less so).

The expression 'my bad' is a truly awful corruption of our language that should be eradicated by a thorough stamping upon whenever heard uttered.
		
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then says this..............


SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			I'm actually pretty laid back 

Click to expand...

:rofl::rofl::thup:

Doesn't bother me what things are said, unless its very negative.


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## williamalex1 (May 1, 2014)

williamalex1 said:



			You need a sense of humour when playing our 3rd hole, which has a 220 yrd carry over water from the back tee. We normally whistle the Dam Busters theme when some poor sole fails to clear, then mention Barnes Wallace's.:rofl:
		
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 soul oops,


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## Rooter (May 1, 2014)

williamalex1 said:



			soul oops,
		
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Was gonna ask, was it a lemon sole or a Dover!


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## williamalex1 (May 1, 2014)

Rooter said:



			Was gonna ask, was it a lemon sole or a Dover!
		
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I posted in the wrong plaice .


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## JackieD (May 1, 2014)

williamalex1 said:



			I posted in the wrong plaice .

Click to expand...

Turns out a lot of people on here have a chip on their shpulder!


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## Liverpoolphil (May 1, 2014)

I think the sayings are funny

During the last Meet at Blackmoor - TXL was rolling them out all day - it  was great banter ( especially on the last when revenge was sweet )


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## evahakool (May 1, 2014)

My bad can't stand that one,anything else really not worried about.


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## Scrindle (May 1, 2014)

*Good shot* gets on my nerves.  Only say it if it was a good shot you idiot!  I've often wanted to respond with '**** off' when in a bad mood but always thought better of it, fortunately!


CMAC said:



			agreed, that and *my coach*, you mean the guy you and a thousand other hackers pay for a lesson:rofl:
		
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I think this comes down to ease of phrase.  What's easier to say, 'my pro'/'my coach' or 'the guy I pay for lessons on x basis'?  There's nothing wrong with it, technically.  That said if someone does use it in a delusional sense thinking they're some kind of wiz while boasting their non-existent ability generally, I could see how that might be annoying...


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## USER1999 (May 1, 2014)

My pro is the professional at the course I'm a member of. My coach is the guy who I have lessons off. 

What's the problem?


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## malek988 (May 1, 2014)

Keep Your head down

Let me show you how to do it


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## HawkeyeMS (May 2, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			Just waiting for the first time I hear one of a foursomes pair mess up and declare 'my bad'.  I will surprised if it will be any of my regular foursomes partners  - I am highly selective over who I play foursomes with (my partners are less so).

The expression 'my bad' is a truly awful corruption of our language that should be eradicated by a thorough stamping upon whenever heard uttered.
		
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100% agree, it is an awful phrase


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## HomerJSimpson (May 2, 2014)

HawkeyeMS said:



			100% agree, it is an awful phrase 

Click to expand...

The one I hate is **** *** Stannard. Whenever it resonates over the Heath of Dreams I know you are having a bad day. As long as I don't hear it Monday!


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## Billythefish (May 2, 2014)

do you want a bucket and spade?

When you can't get out of a bunker


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 2, 2014)

triple_bogey said:



			mentions this............


then says this..............


:rofl::rofl::thup:

Doesn't bother me what things are said, unless its very negative.
		
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I was kidding whe I said I was 'highly selective' about my foursomes partners.  In fact I will play foursomes with absolutely anyone.


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## Rooter (May 2, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			In fact I will play foursomes with absolutely anyone.
		
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once!


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## Slab (May 2, 2014)

murphthemog said:



			My pro is the professional at the course I'm a member of. My coach is the guy who I have lessons off. 

What's the problem?
		
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Because if a golfer rents the proâ€™s time for 1 out of the 730 hours in a month it smacks a bit of haughtiness to lay claim to him as â€˜my proâ€™ instead of â€˜the proâ€™ 

Actually haughtiness is too strong a word but couldnâ€™t resist using it on a golf forum 

Weirdly we all do it with certain professions but not for others 
â€¢	My doctor
â€¢	My lawyer
â€¢	My personal trainer
â€¢	The plumber
â€¢	The call centre agent
â€¢	The binman

Actually is it a coincidence that those we want to display some kind of ownership over are the same ones with access to the intimate skeletons in our lives? Those same professions that see our flaws and weaknesses! 

My Pro anyone?


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 2, 2014)

Rooter said:



			once!
		
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I do tend to get shuffled around the ladies - but that is at the doing of our Lady Captains - so maybe the ladies find me acceptable company.  Not sure I'll be asked to play foursomes by a Wentworth lady I played with in a four ball last week.  On our last hole she rather caught it very heavy but it did make it's way to the front of the green.  When her partner said - 'well it got there' my comment was 'rather shovelled though' got me a bit of a look - then a smile   But I think I may have blown my chance of an invitation to Wentworth...


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## CMAC (May 2, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



*I do tend to get shuffled around the ladies* - but that is at the doing of our Lady Captains - so *maybe the ladies find me acceptable company.*  Not sure I'll be asked to play foursomes by a Wentworth lady I played with in a four ball last week.  On our last hole she rather caught it very heavy but it did make it's way to the front of the green.  When her partner said - 'well it got there' my comment was 'rather shovelled though' got me a bit of a look - then a smile   But I think I may have blown my chance of an invitation to Wentworth...
		
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they know where to stand and don't use DMD's (worse tha a TV remote to them) so I expect they think of you as one of them


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## SwingsitlikeHogan (May 2, 2014)

CMAC said:



			they know where to stand and don't use DMD's (worse tha a TV remote to them) so I expect they think of you as one of them

Click to expand...

I am also charming to a fault and the perfect gentleman


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## richart (May 2, 2014)

SwingsitlikeHogan said:



			I am also charming to a fault and the perfect gentleman 

Click to expand...

 and you are Scottish ?


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## daymond (May 2, 2014)

I can't help saying to my regular playing partner 'good shot' if he thins a 100yd approach and it finishes near the hole. always said with a smile on my face though.
It's on the dance floor (green) is an odd expression.
Trees are 50% air. No their not in my experience.


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