Visiting my nephew today :-)

[AmandaJR]

Some of you may recall late last year when I asked for advice for my family as my nephew was sentenced to a 30 month prison term. Well I'm off to visit him again today and really looking forward to it despite the circumstances and setting not being ideal. I was warned that it can be unpleasant and actually it was all "ok" apart from leaving him when visiting was over. He said he can't bear to see visitors leave and when I looked back he was staring at the floor

BUT - I am so proud of how he's handling this curveball that's been thrown into his life. He's on the drug and alcohol free wing (who'd have figured you have to volunteer for that)! He's working in the gardens at the moment but has secured a job in the kitchens so is looking forward to some extra portions. He's also on a business course and is basically getting his head down and making the best of a bad job. Generally his letters are a delight with so many funny tales of the day to day humdrum that it would make a bestseller! Example - no warm weather clothing left for issue when he started in the gardens so he was issued with what he calls a tweed waistcoat with lots of pockets and some gloves. He fills the pockets with his oats and marvel and spoon for his "scoff" mid morning and performs pull ups on the bars over the cabbages. He says the old guys working the gardens love their cabbages and would be devastated if he fell on them so that motivates him and he reassures them he has good gloves on!! He also had to compete in a "mop-off" for a cleaning job and walked out in his boxers, flip flops and a hanky on his head. Needless to say he won although the governor had to check the quality of the mopping

His only gripe is being hungry and lack of gym time. He is now the wing dustbin though and anything not finished finds it way to him. Last letter he had been given a bag of 18 doughnuts destined for the bin. He ate them in one sitting "I'm writing this letter with a doughnut in my gob, one in my left hand ready to go, and a pen in my right"!

He is hoping to get out on tag in September and possibly get moved to a Cat D open prison in May. So hope he is able to put this behind him and move on. He really is a delightful young man.

 

[El Bandito]

Good news Amanda. Sounds like he is using the experience for the positive.

Fair play to him - and well done you for going to see him.:thup:

 

[London mike 61]

Good luck to the lad, I hope the visit goes well .

 

[bladeplayer]

Fair play to the lad & thanks for sharing Amanda ,it something i definitely would have no knowledge of and its nice to hear some positives from the lad , he seems to be making the most of what is there that will help him mentally if nothing else , he is obviously well thought of if he is picking up the spare doughnuts

He seems to be maintaining a good sense of humour anyhow , thats a big positive . hope the lad does well and gets the open the possibly early release or something.

Wish him all the best from a paddy he never heard of ,

 

[AmandaJR]

Thanks guys. He's in good form and looks more relaxed than when I last visited. He's really enjoying the business course and tending the cabbages. Some guys on his wing made a poster for the bins "STOP. Before throwing food in here take it to Cell 110 and feed the badger" (badger is his nickname)! He's helping guys on the wing who struggle to read and/or type on the course and also wrote a programme for a guy who was getting released and wanted to get fit. He reckons his cell mate is in the best shape of his life as he has been his little project and the ingenuity shown in making gym equipment from furniture and socks is impressive!

He has lots of ideas "buzzing" around his head about what he can do when he comes out so I hope he holds that enthusiasm as he may get knock backs. Love him to bits :thup:

 

[bladeplayer]

sounds like a good positive visit Amanda , great to hear , you (if thats possible online) seem chirpier & the better for the visit ..
happy days

 

[AmandaJR]

For sure. My other beautiful nephew drove us there so to spend time with them both is always a happy day

The "boys" and me

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Fantastic to see someone not thinking the world owes them anything and accepting the error of his ways and making the most of the opportunities. I really hope once he gets out, someone in the market place is brave enough to see past the mistakes he made and give him the chance he deserves. Keep us updated on progress. You never know, that best seller idea may not be the worse idea you've had

 

[daymond]

Very nice to have an update. I wish him all the best.

 

[Deleted member 15344]

That's very good to see and great to see he is doing very well - wish him all the best for the future

Always remember being told that one of the best ways to advance in the military was do to go to Colchester - gives you a jolt in life and focuses you to redeem yourself and earn your way in life

These days far too many think they are owed something even when they are punished

Thankfully there are still people like your nephew to buck that trend

 

[Liverbirdie]

For sure. My other beautiful nephew drove us there so to spend time with them both is always a happy day

The "boys" and me

View attachment 9105

Clean that kitchen, you dirty cow.

Good to see he's getting on with it, and making the best of it, instead of feeling sorry for himself. He'll probably take it into the rest of his life, when he's out.:thup:

 

[stevie_r]

That's very good to see and great to see he is doing very well - wish him all the best for the future

Always remember being told that one of the best ways to advance in the military was do to go to Colchester - gives you a jolt in life and focuses you to redeem yourself and earn your way in life

These days far too many think they are owed something even when they are punished

Thankfully there are still people like your nephew to buck that trend

Not to hijack the thread Phil but I don't think the lad is in Colly and that oft quoted military myth is exactly that.

 

[AmandaJR]

It's my sister's kitchen

He's at Wayland and was discharged from the army - which he now misses but knows that's in the past and time to move on. I know getting interviews might be tough when he gets out BUT if someone takes a chance and meets him then he's in with a shout as he's such a charmer, as well as being eloquent and smart!

 

[AmandaJR]

Just an update as my nephew was released on tag yesterday. I am so proud of how he has handled this blip in his life. Not a single moment of trouble in prison and a totally clean record. I think they get sort of "black mark" if they swear at a guard etc but he didn't have a single one. I asked him if he knew any other prisoners with an unblemished record and he said no - they all had something when they'd lost it a little.

So now the hard work begins and starting a new chapter in his life. I'm not sure he appreciates how tough getting a job might be - any job never mind a "decent" one. Some pride may have to be swallowed and I hope he has matured enough to understand that and take what he can to start over.

Here's a great selfie of him and his brother when he was released...the really excited one is his brother!

 

[la_lucha]

Just had to check the back story on this and I'm glad he's done well Amanda. Did the guy who he was fighting also get prison time? I'm guessing that it was a fight borne of an argument, and the courts judged that because only one of them was injured that only your Nephew committed a crime?

 

[bladeplayer]

Just an update as my nephew was released on tag yesterday. I am so proud of how he has handled this blip in his life. Not a single moment of trouble in prison and a totally clean record. I think they get sort of "black mark" if they swear at a guard etc but he didn't have a single one. I asked him if he knew any other prisoners with an unblemished record and he said no - they all had something when they'd lost it a little.

So now the hard work begins and starting a new chapter in his life. I'm not sure he appreciates how tough getting a job might be - any job never mind a "decent" one. Some pride may have to be swallowed and I hope he has matured enough to understand that and take what he can to start over.

Here's a great selfie of him and his brother when he was released...the really excited one is his brother!

View attachment 12396

Very best of luck to your nephew Amanda and i hope from now on everything goes as he plans in life and this is just a bump in a long and happy road

Life is good and he will have a better understanding of how good it can be now , good luck to the boy



Its gas i often wondered how your nephew and Mr Tappin were doing , but i wouldnt ask as i reckoned it was personal and we would be told any news if it was to be shared ..

 

[AmandaJR]

Just had to check the back story on this and I'm glad he's done well Amanda. Did the guy who he was fighting also get prison time? I'm guessing that it was a fight borne of an argument, and the courts judged that because only one of them was injured that only your Nephew committed a crime?

Pretty much as you say. Other guy (Russian civilian) was picking a fight in a bar of squaddies and my nephew was the daft one who took the bait. I guess it would have been just another scrap in a bar but my nephew is a big "unit" and hurt the guy so paid a heavy price.

 

[AmandaJR]

Very best of luck to your nephew Amanda and i hope from now on everything goes as he plans in life and this is just a bump in a long and happy road

Life is good and he will have a better understanding of how good it can be now , good luck to the boy



Its gas i often wondered how your nephew and Mr Tappin were doing , but i wouldnt ask as i reckoned it was personal and we would be told any news if it was to be shared ..

Thanks. I really hope he can move onwards and upwards and he really is a good lad - bright and VERY charming so hopefully will use that charm to good effect! He hopes his military background will help him but I worry that will be over-shadowed by his criminal record. Everyone deserves a 2nd chance so hope he gets one...

 

[bobmac]

but I worry that will be over-shadowed by his criminal record

Has he thought about becoming an MP.
Good luck to him

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Hope he gets a break and can really get his life back on track. We've all done silly things, and even though we don't always pay such a heavy price, we usually need some help from somewhere to get over it.