Understanding divorce......

JustOne

JustOne

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I'm not married so I never really thought about this, however I'd like to know 'how it goes'....

Man and woman married, they own the house together, he works, she's a housewife, they have one 10yr old son..

they decide to get divorced.. what happens to the house?, when? who pays whom? How does the mortgage get paid if he DOES want to pay it... DOESN'T want to pay it? Can she?..... etc etc... I'd like to know some answers as to what the options are for each party....

thanks in adv :thup:
 
pass, wasn't married either but managed to get 60/40 out of the house cos the kids were with me. As it was a joint mortgage it is 50/50 married or not I believe.

If he doesnt want to pay the mortgage then they either sell and split equity or she can buy him out which is worked out as 50% of the equity after costs etc I think.

If he doesnt oay and she can maintain the mortgage over a set period I believe he can be taken off it but again not 100%.

This is why there are specialist solicitors for this sort of thing :D
 
I went to the solicitor with my father as my mum did a bunk 3 years ago and left him with a teenage daughter and me obviously. Was horrible to see my old man in pieces. Anyway

The solicitor basically said its 50/50 even though he's paid the mortgage and kept the house in good nick and she's paid nothing towrads the house, left him paying the remainder of a 10k loan to get her out of gambling debt and paid for nothing for my sister.

It's apparently and to quote the solicitor "depends on what side of the bed the judge got out on". That's if a settlement out of court can't be agreed.

Theres no set 10% if you keep the kid, 10% if you pay the mortgage etc etc.

Needless to say...I've not spoken to my mother in almost three years!
 
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Thanks for your honesty so far guys...I'm still not sure I fully understand though...

Gibbo you say you got 60% of the house... so it had to be sold? and you only had 60% worth of any equity to find somewhere else to live... with the kids? :confused:

Dappa.... you say your house is to be 50/50 but when does that happen? whenever?... or is there a set time?


I'm not getting all this and I have a ton of scenarios in my head :mad: (was chatting to a mate who was thinking of leaving and didn't have a clue where he stood or what the implications were)

... could he literally just walk and not pay a penny (apart from child maintenence?)... what if the wife then can't afford the mortgage and is stuck in the house with a child?
 
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she buggered off, I came home and she had gone, emptied it so bare shell. She refused to pay any mortgage, luckily it had a self contained annexe which we rented out so that helped cover the secured loan, I covered the mortgage but she kept turning up and by law I couldnt change the locks and she had rights of access. I was going to buy her out but with a new job, 3 kids and a 130k mortgage I cut my losses and decided to sell. She just wanted her cut either way. the 60/40 was due to some hard faced bargaining from me, she was desperate for her share and I was going to refuse to sign.

the equity was only about 16k after fee's etc (got mullered for early redemptions etc) as we only had the house 3 years.

I got about 9k which wiped my debts and went into a hostel and decreed homeless!

Also had a nightmare with solicitors as we were unmarried I had no parental responsibility. Was going to apply but legal costs put me off, she was ok as gave up work so had legal aid wheras I was above the threshhold.

Anyway it was a bitch of 12 months but all good now 5 years onsince it started :D

(oh and she is now married and they are both out of work and miserable as feck :p )
 
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Ive had a boatload of this for 10 years, all depends who gets custody and how bitter the other party is, If i could type fast enough i can give my experience of 10 years, You would $hit yourslf.
roughly from my experience from Dec 1999 to present day. I left a £150,000 house in 2000, with a £70k mortgage, house, contents , car, awarded to her (including equity)based on she needs everything to bring up kids (6 and 7 years) in the matrimonial home. If the mortgage doesnt get paid and was taken out jointly, they come for you both, she has kids , so they sue you for your assets .Bearing in mind you are responsible for one mortgage, so to get another you must be good for payments on both.If she doesnt earn enough to apply for your outstanding mortgage to take on herself even though court agreements made etc.your name cant be removed hence they still come to you.
As i say this a fraction of what ive had thrown at me,
doesnt matter whether your married or not ,its the welfare of the kids that is courts only consideration,which i agree with, its just how low people will go , and use this as a tool .
My advice,is sort it fast, do whats best for junior, get on with your life.:rant:
 
I always understood that the father was liable to provide a roof over the heads of his children and pay maintenace until they left full time education. After that the house could be sold, but usually the husband had got into another relationship and left the house and started a new life. The wife can also insist on a propotion of the ex's pension
 
no, the house was "awarded to her to bring up the children in the matrimonial home."
2 years ago she tried to get maintenance increased, mid way through court proceedings , she fell out with our daughter in a big way,whom then came to live myself and new partner.
so, as she had failed to" bring up the children in the matrimonial home" i persued this,at this point we were in county court,and the judge informed me"although i may agree with your concern,unfortunately ,I, nor any any judge or court will go back to an order made in 2001"
I'm sure different people have different experiences and views but i got shafted big style.
BTW my daughter still lives me.
 
chrisd said:
I always understood that the father was liable to provide a roof over the heads of his children and pay maintenace until they left full time education. After that the house could be sold, but usually the husband had got into another relationship and left the house and started a new life. The wife can also insist on a propotion of the ex's pension
Click to expand...

no, after the house and assets have been awarded to her, they are hers to do with as she wishes, the father pays maintenance to her for their children, again, to do with as she wishes.
 
the hammer said:
no, after the house and assets have been awarded to her, they are hers to do with as she wishes, the father pays maintenance to her for their children, again, to do with as she wishes.
Click to expand...

So you paid maintenance AND the mortgage and continue to pay the mortgage even now???? (I figure you don't pay maintenance seeing as your daughter is with you)
 
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no, you dont pay the mortgage, you pay maintenance,which she does with as she wants,she may sell the house, if theres enough equity she could buy a house with no mortgage, but you would still pay the same.I never got to the situation where she didnt pay the mortgage,but i would have been liable had it not been paid.
no, as daughter now lives with me, son lives with her its all square.
 
the hammer said:
no, you dont pay the mortgage, you pay maintenance,which she does with as she wants
Click to expand...

I thought you said
I left a £150,000 house in 2000, with a £70k mortgage, house, contents , car, awarded to her (including equity)based on she needs everything to bring up kids (6 and 7 years) in the matrimonial home. If the mortgage doesnt get paid and was taken out jointly, they come for you both, she has kids , so they sue you for your assets
Click to expand...



Which means that someone is paying the mortgage... I guess that's YOU but in the guise of maintenance which is enough to cover the mortgage... and possibly a bit more? :mad:
 
Sounds like you got royally stitched... never heard of someone getting the entire house... I thought that if your name was on the deeds and you're paying for it you would always be entitled to your half,...at some stage :confused:
 
the hammer said:
no ,your missing it, your not paying for the house or mortgage,your paying maintenance.

The house is long gone, unfortunately its quite a normal scenario.
Click to expand...

Yeh SORRY :o I'm not getting it...

Ok... so the house is 'paid for' there is no mortgage as you left but took the mortgage with you so to speak as a £70K debt... so you continue to pay that (or add it onto your next mortgage).... then you pay her maintenance to live?
 
The solicitor said she can not force sale of the house until a) my sister moves out or b) she turns 18.

Your friend could walk, sign the house over and pay maintenance through csa but his kids may not like him.
 
When my parents split up I was over the freaking moon!
No more piggy in the middle. I was 24 when it happened. Mum got a really good solicitor and they took my old man to the cleaners to the point he has to pay her 30% of his pension till she dies even if he dies first. Don't ask me how that works but that's what they got her.
More to do with who can afford the better solicitor and how much is kicking about from the divorce to pay for that solicitor. It's far from 50/50 any more .
 
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