Things you don't need to say to your wife / husband / spouse / partner

It's not the jeans that make your bum look big.
 
'can I put my name down to play 'course XXX' - it's quite expensive - £nnn - but I quite fancy playing it'

I don't need to say this - her answer will always be 'No - you are a member of a golf club'.
 
"Just a minute; I'm watching the golf. A can would be nice" - please insert your own choice !!

"Sorry my phone was turned off 'cause I was on the course. Did you get a taxi?"
 
I didn't ring because I didn't want to wake you up.

(recently said to my wife from a safe distance after I returned home one morning after spending the night sleeping on a railway station platform after falling asleep on the train, missing my stop and not being able to get home - some of us 50 year old's still know how to rock 'n' roll!!!)
 
Do we need to go back to the first shop ( for shoes, dress, any item of clothing ).
 
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