JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
Because it provokes a response/conversation (as per this thread)....and until they return/get caught this story has mileage = column inches = money.
The Teacher and his Girl Friend
- Thread starter SwingsitlikeHogan
- Start date
Because it provokes a response/conversation (as per this thread)....and until they return/get caught this story has mileage = column inches = money.
chrisd
Major Champion
If he had sex with her he would be charged with rape as she is too young to consent - pretty serious I would say!
Shaunmg
Head Pro
Been reading the contributions to this thread with interest. Not sure how many of those contributing are or have been the father of teenage daughter. It’s blatantly obvious to me some of you are not or haven’t been.
I suppose I can understand someone not a parent of a teenage daughter wandering what the big deal is all about. Although I do find the post referring to 13 years old girls being “knocked up†particularly offensive. The situation the family of this 15 year old child find themselves in is the parent of a teenage girls worst nightmare.
He is a teacher with a strict professional code of conduct and bound by law. She is a young girl at a very impressionable and vulnerable age. He knows that, and he knows girls of that age can have crushes on an older teachers. It’s a teacher’s legal and professional duty to resist all temptation.
He has kidnapped a child, stolen her from her parents and betrayed his profession. Irrespective of whether sex took place. When caught, he should go on trial for his crimes. if sex took place then the crime is even more severe.
The reason this story has such prominence is because it plucks at the heart of parents of teenage daughters. If you’re not, then of course you wouldn’t understand
I suppose I can understand someone not a parent of a teenage daughter wandering what the big deal is all about. Although I do find the post referring to 13 years old girls being “knocked up†particularly offensive. The situation the family of this 15 year old child find themselves in is the parent of a teenage girls worst nightmare.
He is a teacher with a strict professional code of conduct and bound by law. She is a young girl at a very impressionable and vulnerable age. He knows that, and he knows girls of that age can have crushes on an older teachers. It’s a teacher’s legal and professional duty to resist all temptation.
He has kidnapped a child, stolen her from her parents and betrayed his profession. Irrespective of whether sex took place. When caught, he should go on trial for his crimes. if sex took place then the crime is even more severe.
The reason this story has such prominence is because it plucks at the heart of parents of teenage daughters. If you’re not, then of course you wouldn’t understand
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
At 15 I'd have slept with most of the (lady) teachers in my school as they were HOT... I wouldn't for a moment thought of any of them as a pedo. It's the LAW says that they would be regardless of the fact that I was not only ready but willing 
I don't think situations where young boys run off with older women provoke such a response from the male population, probably the 'father' figures in all us macho men trying to think of the poor young girls health
I don't think situations where young boys run off with older women provoke such a response from the male population, probably the 'father' figures in all us macho men trying to think of the poor young girls health
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
OK - the situation is that he is over 18 and in a position of trust (and I assume a teacher is, in the eyes of the law, in such a position) to her and she is under 18, then it is illegal for him to engage in sexual activity with her. So if they have such a relationship then yes he has broken the law. Though I'm not sure that in the eyes of the law that this is rape?
Anyway - I still don't think it has any great merit as a national news story - and the effect of making it so will make the situation worse for both of them - even if he has not broken the law.
@JustOne My OP was not about the story - it was about the reporting of the story and the impact the reporting and publicity will have on these two individuals.
Ethan
Money List Winner
Last week it was 2 dead policewomen, this week teacher and pupil run off together. Next week, who knows. That is the media, and they dictate the pace of these stories.
Obviously teacher is looking at chokey upon his return, and I am weeping no tears for him, but in terms of the question of paedophilia, there are several 'flavours' of paedophilia, and the type directed at sexually mature (if legally underage) teenage girls is, in psychiatric terms, not terribly abnormal in terms of pathology (providing the girl is unharmed physically or psychologically) and not, strictly speaking, called paedophilia.
This subset is better known as hebeophilia (girls aged 11-14) or ephebophilia (15+). The latter is less bad than the former, of course. Some psychiatrists see age 13 as a kind of inflection point between degrees of pathology. The age difference is also important. If it was a 17 year old boy and a 15 year old girls, it really isn't pathological at all. A 30 year old teacher is a greater concern.
The type aimed at pre-pubertal kids is, of course, very different and much more dangerous.
Obviously teacher is looking at chokey upon his return, and I am weeping no tears for him, but in terms of the question of paedophilia, there are several 'flavours' of paedophilia, and the type directed at sexually mature (if legally underage) teenage girls is, in psychiatric terms, not terribly abnormal in terms of pathology (providing the girl is unharmed physically or psychologically) and not, strictly speaking, called paedophilia.
This subset is better known as hebeophilia (girls aged 11-14) or ephebophilia (15+). The latter is less bad than the former, of course. Some psychiatrists see age 13 as a kind of inflection point between degrees of pathology. The age difference is also important. If it was a 17 year old boy and a 15 year old girls, it really isn't pathological at all. A 30 year old teacher is a greater concern.
The type aimed at pre-pubertal kids is, of course, very different and much more dangerous.
chrisd
Major Champion
At 15 I'd have slept with most of the (lady) teachers in my school as they were HOT... I wouldn't for a moment thought of any of them as a pedo. It's the LAW says that they would be regardless of the fact that I was not only ready but willing
I don't think situations where young boys run off with older women provoke such a response from the male population, probably the 'father' figures in all us macho men trying to think of the poor young girls health
I think that you miss the real point James. At 15, boy or girl, you are judged by the law to be too young to give willing consent to sex. We all know of children who are very mature at 15 but the law has to be pegged at some age. I actually only have one son who's 29 so I can only imagine what it's like to be the father of a 15 year old girl who's run away with a 30 year old and, frankly, I'd want to do him a very nasty injury!
The fact is that your lady teachers were pedo's - no argument!
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
Interesting you posted at the same time as me and your post fits exactly to what I was saying.
I have a daughter and I'm not worried about her, she will make her own decisions in life and not one of them will be a nightmare for me. She is who she is. All I can hope for her is the best and that she is happy with the decisions that she makes, if not then hopefully she'll have the opportunity to correct her mistakes.
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
I agree with your post Chris, apart from the bit where you think I'm missing the point... I'm just putting across an opinion, I'm fully aware of the point and what the story line is in regards to the LAW.
I wonder how many here got to the age of 16 without having 'done the deed' so to speak? Is it more of a moral issue than a legal one?
If a 15yr old sleeps with a 16yr old does one go to jail? where? Show me where that has occured? What if one was 17... 18 then what? Where is the line Chris?
This situation is precisely about the fact that he's in a so called 'position of responsibility' and as consequence gives a soapbox to those who think their daughters will all grow up to be saints.
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bladeplayer
Money List Winner
At what age do you allow her make life changing decisions at her own discression tho James ?
My eldest is 13 & where we "TRY" have an open honest relationship with her , we accept that teenagers by their very nature are going to try rebel against parenting .. its our job to let slide the harmless enough stuff but to step in and be parents for the life / future affecting stuff ..
Personaly i would have serious issues with anyone who abused thier position around my kids, & if it was a serious offence sorry id be with Chrisd , they would want to hope the authorities got them before me or my brothers caught up with them ..
if it was one of the people that was particulary charged with her care & protection & was responsable for that it makes it even worse, if thats possible
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
@Shaunmg I have a 17yr old daughter and all that you say is absolutely spot on - including your last statement. And that is why I am a bit concerned about it being given such prominence in the national media. The parents obviously want their daughter back home safe as soon as possible, and national exposure may help to that end - but I'm not so sure. In any case I am concerned that such national publicity and exposure could have a very serious effect on the girl that could affect her for many, many years if not the rest of her life. That is my concern.
And of course it plucks at my heartstrings - but being cynical maybe that is why the story is getting such national exposure - the story plucks heartstrings and therefore sells papers and increases viewing figures.
Anyway my thoughts and prayers are for the safe return home of them both - she to face her parents and life - he to face the law...
Ethan
Money List Winner
I don't doubt that is very meaningful to parents of teenage girls. The issue is that in a slow news week, the media will make lots of it and amp it up. If this was the week Princess Kate got her top off, you would barely hear of it. If you think the media has the slightest regard for the teenage girls and their parents, you are sadly mistaken. This is the same media who will happily allow a girl only about a year older to pose topless (or in the case of the owner of The Express, much worse) on page 3.
The teacher is somewhere between an idiot and a dangerous sex offender - we don't really know which - and deserves what is coming to him but he isn't Abu Hamza.
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
It's an interesting question and the only realistic answer is to do what you feel is right. I don't anticipate any of my children rebelling as I give them more than enough freedom but it generally comes with a level of explaination and a level of understanding both from them and us. I do feel that they have a greater level of freedom than I did as a child, perhaps I'm letting them (to a degree) have the life that I yearned for when I was never allowed out or to have my friends over or, frankly do anything remotely grown up. I guess that's why I rebelled... and moved out on my 16th birthday.
I do have friends whos 15yr old daughter ran away and (to me) it was a typical example of a lack of trust and communication. Hopefully it'll be a path that i'll be able to avoid with my own kids.
SwingsitlikeHogan
Major Champion
I agree with you Ethan - I think you agree with me...making a big story of this in a slow news week (almost I'd hope) regardless of the negative impact it could have on the girl especially. You can understand newspapers - not so sure I give so much tolerance or latitude on the matter to the BBC News. And quite - Abu Hamza he isn't.
BeachGolfer
Head Pro
The guy is already hung, drawn and quartered if steps back into this country. So why would he? Jailed (as a listed sex offender) and career over. The ferry CCTV didn't appear to be an abduction and with the age of consent in France is being 15 yrs, it may appear to the Gauls that he has no crime for which to answer? With all the media publicity, maybe they have ideas of living out a life (as a musician?) over there???
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
I don't know whether 'slow week' is the answer but it wreaks of 'car crash TV' where you can just play out a story on it's shock factor. Keep digging and finding as much crap as you can about those involved and their families and wait until she's returned home safely so you can greet her as if butter wouldn't melt in your mouth with headlines "She's safe - thank God" without mentioning that you've systematically dismantled the lives of all those around her whilst she was away.
Did we get onto the broken home part yet? If so I blame the father.... and the teachers first wife
bladeplayer
Money List Winner
totaly agree & is what we try also , i HOPE we are geting it right, only time will tell , unfortunatly teenagers are like an unstable substance ha , likely to change at any given moment ..
JustOne
Ryder Cup Winner
I'm setting up a special savings trust that my daughter gets when she's 21 but only if she's not had any children or ran away with a teacher in that time.
if they had waited 2 months she would have been 16 and none of this would have hit the press.
Also in France the age of consent is 15 so the French will probably not do anything 'official'.
It does beggar belief that neither of them have the decency to at least just call home or the police or the news media to say we are ok.
Also in France the age of consent is 15 so the French will probably not do anything 'official'.
It does beggar belief that neither of them have the decency to at least just call home or the police or the news media to say we are ok.
Ethan
Money List Winner
I do agree with you.
The issue here is first to ensure the safety of the girl, then to minimise the impact of this escapade on her life. The jaunt to France part is really somewhat irrelevant, except to the sentence teacher will get, in my opinion. If nobody had heard this story, and they had returned to the UK after a few days or weeks, it would have been very likely that no harm would have come to her, and she would have returned to her normal life, albeit perhaps grounded until she was 21, he goes off to jail and she forgets about him. But now, except the media has now made her a celebrity of sorts and her name will become a punchline in a Frankie Boyle joke and her reputation and credibility is destroyed. If any real harm comes to her, it will probably be because of the publicity and salacious coverage by the gutter press. The lurid coverage also makes it more difficult for them to come back.
The age of consent in France is higher where someone has authority over the victim.
