The Teacher and his Girl Friend

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Can someone please explain to me what it is about this real life drama that makes it worthy of being National News and getting reported on BBC News at Ten.

Now I can fully appreciate the concerns of the girl's family (I'll note we have heard nothing of the fears of the guy's family) - but is this not just 'one of these things' that happens in life. And yes there are all the concerns and issues about a relationship between a teacher and pupil - and the age of the girl (though she is 15 not 13 and a couple of years do make a difference) - but this could be no more than a young girl and an older bloke getting on well and having some feelings for each other. Yes that sounds guff. But it could be true.

A 30 yr old guy having a close friendship with a 15 year old girl. Tell me how that is unusual enough to make it news. The fact that one is teacher and one is pupil is a career breaker for the guy - but is it more than that?

Strikes me that the media have picked up on this and are pandering to the apparently insatiable appetite for gossip and scandal so many of us (not here of course) seem to have. And all that this media exposure will potentially do is ruin the life of these two people - and they will be spat out by the beast and forgotten next week.

In saying this my thoughts and prayers are with them to help them back home safely and to help them sort out what is now a massive problem for them both.

 

[Foxholer]

Strikes me that the media have picked up on this and are pandering to the apparently insatiable appetite for gossip and scandal so many of us (not here of course) seem to have. And all that this media exposure will potentially do is ruin the life of these two people - and they will be spat out by the beast and forgotten next week.

Given that it's these sorts of stories that drive much of the media, it seems to me that it's either a reflection of the marketing ability of the media (these stories are relatively easy to report on while 'proper' investigative journalism is hard and expensive), the gullible nature of the purchaser/recipients or the desirability of same to find something that makes their/our otherwise mundane lives slightly easier to accept. I suspect it's a mix of them all. It certainly seems (slightly depressingly) to me that human nature is animalistically about climbing over the next person/holding them back rather than encouraging/celebrating their success. And (adjusting Maslow) that human needs/success is really measured in the same way a other animals - survival then greed and procreation!

Oh, and eliminating poverty is never going to happen - the metric of 'poverty' will just change!

After those depressing thoughts, I'm going to cheerily toddle off down the Crowborough for 36 holes of hopefully dry and wonderful) golf!

 

[chrisd]

To put the other point of view. He is a teacher, and his primary concern is care of the pupils. He is, by law, not entitled to have a relationship with a pupil until she is over 18 (not 16) and if he has any sexual relations with her that puts him on the register for a long period as a paedophile and a possible jail term as itis classed as statutory rape.

The school were aware of the relationship developing,and should have acted sooner and the Chaiman of Governers was reported on tv last night as one of the clergy who is involved in paedophilia matters in the Sussex area! If I were her father I would want her bask asap

 

[Doon frae Troon]

Looks like the school had some pretty serious 'previous' as well.

Then the local MP stands up and says what a wonderful school it is. Obviously well out of touch.

 

[One Planer]

What I find curious in the whole matter is she hasn't called home.

Just to say she's fine, or not to worry, or whatever.

Now whether this is down to her choice, or if she is being prevented is another story. From the pictures released last night of the pair holding hands in France, I'd be leaning toward the previous rather than the latter.

I suppose my point is you don't know what's happened in her home and personal lilfe to make her take such a drastic step.

I agree with Chris. As a father myself, I would want my child back, safe ASAP, but a phone call to say she is safe will help with the worry. It won't take away the concern but at least it's a form of contact with their child.

 

[Snelly]

I think it is news.

A child is missing after being seduced by a man twice her age. Anything could happen. I just hope she is safe and sound.

 

[drawboy]

It happens all the time, 15 year old girls have feelings and easily fixate on older men. Most older men will just be flattered and discourage the girl, some men do not and end up having a relationship with the girl. Teachers are in very difficult positions these days, we all see how parents allow their daughters to turn up to school these days. Skirts up to here and made up to the nines looking like 22 year olds more than 15/16 year olds. That said it is totally wrong for a teacher to have a relationship with a young girl. It would not have been the first time a girl has thrown herself at him.
The thing is nowadays he isn't going to get away with it. They will be found and he will probably face severe punishment. It will probably be the end of his life as he knows it whilst the girl will just get on with hers and forget it ever happened after a couple of weeks. Silly man.

 

[JustOne]

A child is missing after being seduced by a man twice her age.

A man is missing after being seduced by a child half his age.


Good luck to them.

Not entirely sure if 'running away' was the best policy as they might have been better served keeping their relationship more secretive, I'm guessing neither had the brain power to work out how to do that...... wonder when the baby is due?

 

[bladeplayer]

What I find curious in the whole matter is she hasn't called home.

Just to say she's fine, or not to worry, or whatever.



I suppose my point is you don't know what's happened in her home and personal lilfe to make her take such a drastic step.

I agree with Chris. As a father myself, I would want my child back, safe ASAP, but a phone call to say she is safe will help with the worry. It won't take away the concern but at least it's a form of contact with their child.

Agree with every word of this, especialy ..

"I suppose my point is you don't know what's happened in her home and personal lilfe to make her take such a drastic step."

Alot of stuff we dont know yet ...but in saying that the teacher has a responsability as an adult in that profesion to know better & do the proper thing ..

 

[JustOne]

...but in saying that the teacher has a responsability as an adult in that profesion to know better & do the proper thing ..

I would agree .... but let's not bring priests into this

 

[bladeplayer]

I would agree .... but let's not bring priests into this

EH im Irish , Catholic & an ex alter boy .. lets not eh ha ha

 

[Alex1975]

To put the other point of view. He is a teacher, and his primary concern is care of the pupils. He is, by law, not entitled to have a relationship with a pupil until she is over 18 (not 16) and if he has any sexual relations with her that puts him on the register for a long period as a paedophile and a possible jail term as itis classed as statutory rape.

This ^^ and that she has not called in... I think its sick!

 

[Whee]

Easy to sit behind a computer screen throwing judgements around. The fact is, that none of us know the full truth behind this.

All I hope is that she was feeling suicidal and chose to confide in her teacher, and he promised her DisneyLand in an attempt to save her life.

Unfortunately, I think the she flashed him some panty and he thought "I'll have some of that" and couldn't help himself. Obviously without wanting to throw judgements around...

 

[Snelly]

A man is missing after being seduced by a child half his age.

Either way, she is still a child and a 30 year old man bedding a 15 year old girl is pretty sick in my view.

 

[JustOne]

Either way, she is still a child and a 30 year old man bedding a 15 year old girl is pretty sick in my view.

Is it known that their relationship has gotten that far or is that an assumption from your imagination?

 

[Snelly]

Is it known that their relationship has gotten that far or is that an assumption from your imagination?

I was responding within the context of your "baby due" comment.

And I have no idea, nor do I wish to imagine what they have got up to. A safe bet to say more than algebra though.

 

[drawboy]

Is it known that their relationship has gotten that far or is that an assumption from your imagination?

I think it is fair to assume it has....you do not throw your whole life away unless you are seriously in love with someone.

 

[chrisd]

I would agree .... but let's not bring priests into this

Difficult not to as they were at a Church of England school. The school has "history" and even Mr Gove was written to about what was happening there, as well as a Governor being allowed to stay on for a year after being charged with 38 sexual offences

 

[JustOne]

I was responding within the context of your "baby due" comment.

Yes, that was an assumption from my imagination At 15 thoiugh she's a bit old... they normally get knocked up at 13 round my way.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I was responding within the context of your "baby due" comment.

And I have no idea, nor do I wish to imagine what they have got up to. A safe bet to say more than algebra though.

And that is exactly it - the way this is being reported is as if the media want us to think that there have been or will be intimate sexual relations between the two people. Otherwise there is not that much of a story. @Chrisd rightly points out the fact that he is a teacher and she his pupil, and that is a special relationship with special rules - indeed he is in loco parentis. Now the guy knows all this and so he knows precisely the outcome and the probably irrevocable damage done to his career.

So 30yr old has close friendship with a 15 yr old - that may be odd and maybe a bit sick to most of us - but is it against the law? Does the fact that he is a a teacher and she his student change anything in the eyes of the law - as opposed to the teaching profession (I don't know the answer to that). And does this mean that he could end up on the sex offenders list and branded or charged as paedophile?

My OP was not so much about the moral, legal or ethical rights or wrongs of what this pair have done - but more simply around what about this makes it a major national news story? And I cannot think of anything.

She does not seem to have been abducted or forced to go to France against her will in any way. She seemed quite happy in the CCTV pictures from the ferry. He is clearly not bothered about being identified as the person with her. There doesn't appear to be anything (that we know of) about his nature that would lead him to harm her. We don't know the background to the girl's family (I am minded to think that the girl's mum sounded a bit guilty - so something in the home not quite tickety-boo - but the girl is 15!! She will no doubt have had plenty of bust ups with her mum).

Bottom line is that I do fear for them both when they return to the UK regardless of what they have been up to when away. Listening to the news today you'd think that a search was on for someone suspected of some very serious crime.

btw - pleased that the boards take more serious stuff - serious - but why wouldn't we - we are golfers after all. We have to take develop a very particular perspective on life.