Smacking children, should you do it.

[Tashyboy]

Just watching breakfast tv and there a woman on who says we should ban smacking gave a load or reasons why. Says raising your eyebrows works for her. Loads of folk support the proposed ban. Loads of folks say it should remain as it is.

Thoughts please.

 

[user2010]

Give 'em a clout, never did me or my siblings any long term harm.

 

[Hobbit]

Ban it. There's enough evidence of modern families not doing it and their children are very well behaved. Those that are feral probably need something more than a clip.

I was well and truly clipped as a kid, excessively so, with whatever my mother could reach. Love her loads, miss her every day but she well and truly got that wrong.

 

[Kellfire]

I personally think that done properly, smacking is a good thing. It's simple human nature that we can't evolve out of - we associate pain with something being wrong. You can't reason with a child below a certain age, but you can teach them to expect mild pain if they do wrong.

 

[patricks148]

i would suppose its all down to context. one of my neighbors life would be greatly improved is she gave those two brats of hers a smack once in a while.

 

[Deleted member 18121]

This discussion always goes the same way, but for me - I was never hit as a kid not even once and I would never ever lay a hand on my son.

I 100% disagree with the notion that you're unable to reason with a child and I will never ever agree that placing physical harm on your own flesh and blood is a solution to anything. A childs behavior and their understanding of whats right and wrong is a direct reflection of how they have been raised.

 

[User20205]

I don’t know how you ban it in the home. It’s unenforceable. That said, I wouldn’t hit my kids, but bring yours up as you see fit.

 

[Kellfire]

This discussion always goes the same way, but for me - I was never hit as a kid not even once and I would never ever lay a hand on my son.

I 100% disagree with the notion that you're unable to reason with a child and I will never ever agree that placing physical harm on your own flesh and blood is a solution to anything. A childs behavior and their understanding of whats right and wrong is a direct reflection of how they have been raised.

Smacking a child does not mean harming the child. If you truly believe you have a child capable of rationalising the way an adult can then well done, you've produced the next step in human evolution.

 

[Orikoru]

I personally think that done properly, smacking is a good thing. It's simple human nature that we can't evolve out of - we associate pain with something being wrong. You can't reason with a child below a certain age, but you can teach them to expect mild pain if they do wrong.

Agree. Obviously there is a line you don't cross. No one is suggesting people should punch their children in the ribs and whatnot. But we're talking about a quick slap on the bum or leg with a palm, in extreme instances of them not doing as their told. As you say, it works because of conditioning and I don't think it would do any lasting damage. And you're not doing it daily, it should be a rarity, where no other method of discipline has worked.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Ban it. No need for it. If you are hitting your child then you are sending them a message that violence is acceptable as a method of control. Plenty of ways to control behaviour without hitting children.

 

[Kellfire]

Agree. Obviously there is a line you don't cross. No one is suggesting people should punch their children in the ribs and whatnot. But we're talking about a quick slap on the bum or leg with a palm, in extreme instances of them not doing as their told. As you say, it works because of conditioning and I don't think it would do any lasting damage. And you're not doing it daily, it should be a rarity, where no other method of discipline has worked.

Exactly. It's not a first resort. It's not a simple fix.

Child is reaching up to a hot stove they've been warned to stay away from previously, about to seriously hurt themselves. Instinct takes over - you slap their hands back. Proportionate. Reasonable. No damage.

 

[Beezerk]

Just tell them off like the lady in Tesco, Kingston Park last week.
“Jack, you’re doing my effing head in, will you shut the eff up”.

 

[Slab]

Can’t really ban something like that (it would be like trying to ban swearing) but as a society it should be discouraged (sure ban it in public)

It’s simply a punishment for doing something wrong, I don’t see it has having any value as a teaching method though

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Agree. Obviously there is a line you don't cross. No one is suggesting people should punch their children in the ribs and whatnot. But we're talking about a quick slap on the bum or leg with a palm, in extreme instances of them not doing as their told. As you say, it works because of conditioning and I don't think it would do any lasting damage. And you're not doing it daily, it should be a rarity, where no other method of discipline has worked.

The problem comes when the line is crossed, who decides that? Certainly not the child!
Is it a quick slap from a 15 stone bloke or an 8 stone bloke!

 

[Orikoru]

The problem comes when the line is crossed, who decides that? Certainly not the child!
Is it a quick slap from a 15 stone bloke or an 8 stone bloke!

Well it's pretty obvious. It shouldn't be so hard that it leaves a mark. A closed fist for example would leave bruising. Repeated slapping would leave a red mark there. Anything above one quick, short slap on a limb is overstepping really.

I mean, I agree with the others saying it's almost impossible to police what goes on in people's homes anyway. I'm just voicing my own view of what I would say is ok.

 

[Liverbirdie]

Ban parents smacking their children, but ok for strangers/neighbours/other family members to do it though.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Well it's pretty obvious. It shouldn't be so hard that it leaves a mark. A closed fist for example would leave bruising. Repeated slapping would leave a red mark there. Anything above one quick, short slap on a limb is overstepping really.

I mean, I agree with the others saying it's almost impossible to police what goes on in people's homes anyway. I'm just voicing my own view of what I would say is ok.

Again, you’re deciding what’s ok as a fully grown adult, not the child on the receiving end, little tap, no problem? What if the child doesn’t learn? Bit harder next time?
You could be the best most tolerant dad in the world, next door maybe not?
I totally agree it’s impossible to police behind closed doors, but if as a society we deemed it wrong, maybe eventually attitudes would change.
We’ve allowed it as a form of discipline for centuries, has it worked though? We have more violence in society, more domestic abuse, more child abuse, maybe, just maybe conditioning people to physical punishment doesn’t work.

 

[Orikoru]

Again, you’re deciding what’s ok as a fully grown adult, not the child on the receiving end, little tap, no problem? What if the child doesn’t learn? Bit harder next time?
You could be the best most tolerant dad in the world, next door maybe not?
I totally agree it’s impossible to police behind closed doors, but if as a society we deemed it wrong, maybe eventually attitudes would change.
We’ve allowed it as a form of discipline for centuries, has it worked though? We have more violence in society, more domestic abuse, more child abuse, maybe, just maybe conditioning people to physical punishment doesn’t work.

Well what does work then? Every parent and every child is different. All I'm saying is that in my opinion, if all other forms of discipline have failed, with a particularly unruly child (obviously), then a quick light slap is understandable and acceptable. I'm not going to analyse whether this has helped our society over centuries, in the grand scheme of things, no parent gives a toss about that, they just want their kid to bloody behave. I'm not a parent, so I don't have experience of being in that situation, so I can only say what I would view as acceptable.

I can only remember one occasion when I was young that my dad gave me a slap, and he told me (years later of course) that he really regretted doing it afterwards. I must have been acting up something awful!

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Well what does work then? Every parent and every child is different. All I'm saying is that in my opinion, if all other forms of discipline have failed, with a particularly unruly child (obviously), then a quick light slap is understandable and acceptable. I'm not going to analyse whether this has helped our society over centuries, in the grand scheme of things, no parent gives a toss about that, they just want their kid to bloody behave. I'm not a parent, so I don't have experience of being in that situation, so I can only say what I would view as acceptable.

I can only remember one occasion when I was young that my dad gave me a slap, and he told me (years later of course) that he really regretted doing it afterwards. I must have been acting up something awful!

It’s all about opinions, chill out.
Now were talking about smacking a particularly unruly child after all other forms of discipline have failed, for some it’s the first step.
Your dad probably regretted it because afterwards he realised he’d lost control (probably due to you pushing the boundaries) and if he had a chance again he’d of handled it differently.
We’re all human and we all have a breaking point, but violence to kids if never the answer.

 

[Orikoru]

It’s all about opinions, chill out.
Now were talking about smacking a particularly unruly child after all other forms of discipline have failed, for some it’s the first step.
Your dad probably regretted it because afterwards he realised he’d lost control (probably due to you pushing the boundaries) and if he had a chance again he’d of handled it differently.
We’re all human and we all have a breaking point, but violence to kids if never the answer.

This is what I said all along. Obviously it should not be anything other than last resort, and it definitely shouldn't be a regular occurrence.