Rio Ferdinand mum and dad.

Massive respect for Rio the man after watching it and to be fair I agree with SR thoughts that wealth makes everyday life a bit easier but emotionally it makes no difference at all, the guy has still lost his wife and kids have still lost their mother.
 
If Joe Bloggs had made this no would have watched it, there would have been no publicity. Ferdinand made it, it was all over the press, the issue has been highlighted. My wife has a particular dislike of Ferdinand, he cheated on his wife multiple times and she bears a long grudge over people who do that, but she watched the programme and was impressed by it. It showed the difficulty that children have dealing with the loss of a parent and the difficulties that men have in dealing with children who have lost a mother. Men are not as open in dealing with emotions, the groups around them do not react in the same way. That, I believe, was the point of the programme. Highlighting the difficulties and making it easier for men to ask for help and for other men to offer help to their mates who may have lost a wife / partner.
 
I watched the program and enjoyed some of it. Let me put a bit of personal perspective on it as well.

My best friend who was also my brother in law died aged 34 of cancer. He left his wife, my wife's sister and 3 girls aged 3,4 and 7. He worked as a Dr in cancer research at Cambridge University, he also had a hereditry kidney disease who meant he could not get proper life insurance. His wife did not work. When he was diagnosed with terminal cancer they sold their house and moved back down to Dorset to be close to the family and rented a house. Luckily my in laws are wealthy and could support the family and his work were amazing. The family are getting Pete's salary until the youngest is out of full time education which was amazingly generous of the cancer research company and something they did not need to do.

Life is amazingly tough when something like this happens yet you need to keep it together if possible, the girls lives had to go on as normal as possible. It has been 10 years now and things change and life goes own, the eldest passed her driving test last week, the youngest is 60% deaf due to an ear infection and Julie has a new partner and a 3 year old little girl. More up's and downs.

Life was hard but having money helps and it helps more than you can imagine because it is one massive less stress when you life is already falling apart.

Now to the show. It was tough for Rio and the kids. They do have a massive house and everything they could ever want (except their mum who is worth more than all that money) a friend who is like a live in nanny and her parents that are available pretty much all the time supporting not just Rio but the kids. Rio obviously loves his kids and is doing the best for them he can it just so happens he has way more resources and options than most when this happened. For the kids money is irrelevant, most don't get it anyways and why should they all they know is mummy is gone and it will be tough. Julie cried her eyes out when her daughter passed her driving test last week because dad would have been so pleased and he was not there. For Rio's kids like others, mum has gone and will be missed always especially on landmark days like Mothers Day, fathers day, Xmas, birthday's, marriages etc etc. Those days will be tough always regardless of money.

Now to the bit that is harder to quantify. In the time he was with his wife he had at least 11 affairs including 1 that lasted 13 years. I don't know how her parents can be so forgiving of him as I know most would not be. It was difficult seeing him talk to these groups of men who's wives died and thinking he spent years sleeping with pretty much anything he could. 1 man on the show his wife was walking to work with her daughter and got run over and killed on a zebra crossing here 1 moment then gone the next. I was thinking if that was me and I had some guy who sleeps around (and wanted super injunctions to hide it from everyone) and yet has this amazing wife (who it seems treated like ****) and kids and all the money he needs is trying to connect with me , pah that part just did not work for me. Of course he is in pain who wouldn't be but I struggled personally to have much compassion for the man while having a never ending amount for his kids.
 
SocketRocket said:
I didn't suggest it wasn't hard for him and his kids, did i? All I am saying is that the TV producers would have been better to use a normal working man to portray how the pain and loss losing a mother to your young children affects your ability to cope. If you wish to read more into my reply then that's up to you.
Click to expand...


What if that audience reaches 200,000 people and it leads to 20% seeking help (emotional) = 40,000 people.

If the Rio Ferdinand programme reaches 10 million @ 20%...well do the maths.
 
I did watch it against my better judgement - as a City fan he's one of my least favourite people! Found myself really feeling for him and his kids. Double whammy for him with his own personal loss and then trying to also help his kids deal with theirs. Hadn't remembered, or even acknowledged, his extra marital dalliances though and puts a different spin on my feelings now. How he can talk about how much he loved his wife and how perfect their marriage was, sob, sob...sorry but that's a joke if the affairs are true.

I was two when my Mum died from breast cancer leaving me, brother and sister twins aged 7, brother aged 10 and sister aged 13. Not sure how my Dad coped and just reminded me what a truly amazing man he was.
 
AmandaJR said:
I did watch it against my better judgement - as a City fan he's one of my least favourite people! Found myself really feeling for him and his kids. Double whammy for him with his own personal loss and then trying to also help his kids deal with theirs. Hadn't remembered, or even acknowledged, his extra marital dalliances though and puts a different spin on my feelings now. How he can talk about how much he loved his wife and how perfect their marriage was, sob, sob...sorry but that's a joke if the affairs are true.

I was two when my Mum died from breast cancer leaving me, brother and sister twins aged 7, brother aged 10 and sister aged 13. Not sure how my Dad coped and just reminded me what a truly amazing man he was.
Click to expand...

Am sure his swarees with the opposite sex have made him realise what a prat he has been, and the adage " you don't know what you have got til it's gone" has finally sunk in. Rio aside there were others in this programme that I felt for. Darren Clarke, other dads, other kids, relatives. There stories helped make this programme.

Good write up Amanda me duck.
 
AmandaJR said:
I was two when my Mum died from breast cancer leaving me, brother and sister twins aged 7, brother aged 10 and sister aged 13. Not sure how my Dad coped and just reminded me what a truly amazing man he was.
Click to expand...

Very touching and moving Amanda. A lot of us may think of our parents as heroes, however your dad certainly was. What a guy.
 
AmandaJR said:
I did watch it against my better judgement - as a City fan he's one of my least favourite people! Found myself really feeling for him and his kids. Double whammy for him with his own personal loss and then trying to also help his kids deal with theirs. Hadn't remembered, or even acknowledged, his extra marital dalliances though and puts a different spin on my feelings now. How he can talk about how much he loved his wife and how perfect their marriage was, sob, sob...sorry but that's a joke if the affairs are true.

I was two when my Mum died from breast cancer leaving me, brother and sister twins aged 7, brother aged 10 and sister aged 13. Not sure how my Dad coped and just reminded me what a truly amazing man he was.
Click to expand...

Unfortunately the affairs are true because he lost a high court battle over it and his need for a super injunction.

Also in 2006 he wrote a book saying he was a changed person and realised he was an ahole blah blah and had moved on. This proved to be a big fat juicy lie as the injunction and court case was in 2011 5 years later and everything said was still going on and he hadn't changed his spots.

Still he could have turned it round in the last few years and his wife must have loved him very much after having not just that many affairs but 1 lasting as long as he had been with her (the cynic in me says money probably played a part and if he had none would she have stayed with him through so much). Also it is sad that someone so nice and put up with so much ends up with cancer herself, life can be so unfair for many. her parents were pretty great as well especially as it is also very hard for them as well.

It was really hard listening to the other fathers have their say and someone like Darren Clarke would have been far more effective in my opinion as he doesn't have the baggage as well as all he achieved in the immediate aftermath of his wife's death and showing how life actually can move forward. Rio feels like a media hound whereas Darren and the others feel like they wish to minimise the impact of media in what occurred.
 
Jensen said:
Very touching and moving Amanda. A lot of us may think of our parents as heroes, however your dad certainly was. What a guy.
Click to expand...

Thanks. My Mum was truly the love of his life too and he never remarried. My eldest sister remembers how they used to dance around the kitchen to the radio (ballroom dancing) and then she had to "watch your sisters and brothers" as they waltzed upstairs! I was too young to remember my Mum but also never really felt a gap as my Dad was brilliant - lucky for him I was a tomboy so we played every sport together, including golf which I found very boring but he loved!
 
Reemul said:
Unfortunately the affairs are true because he lost a high court battle over it and his need for a super injunction.

Also in 2006 he wrote a book saying he was a changed person and realised he was an ahole blah blah and had moved on. This proved to be a big fat juicy lie as the injunction and court case was in 2011 5 years later and everything said was still going on and he hadn't changed his spots.

Still he could have turned it round in the last few years and his wife must have loved him very much after having not just that many affairs but 1 lasting as long as he had been with her (the cynic in me says money probably played a part and if he had none would she have stayed with him through so much). Also it is sad that someone so nice and put up with so much ends up with cancer herself, life can be so unfair for many. her parents were pretty great as well especially as it is also very hard for them as well.

It was really hard listening to the other fathers have their say and someone like Darren Clarke would have been far more effective in my opinion as he doesn't have the baggage as well as all he achieved in the immediate aftermath of his wife's death and showing how life actually can move forward. Rio feels like a media hound whereas Darren and the others feel like they wish to minimise the impact of media in what occurred.
Click to expand...

I'd heard the DC wasn't exactly whiter than white when it came to playing away
 
Lord Tyrion said:
If it's not your birthday then surely all married men know the jim jams will be winning that battle :D
Click to expand...

Hmmp, went to the canaries last week for me birthday, decided to open pressies when I got home. Saved lugging them over there. Anyway, lad gives me a pressie when we got back, a gorgeous sky blue Lacoste shirt. Missis T said " did you get some nice stuff then tash ". " yes my love, but nowt off you ". She looked horrified, then ran up stairs saying " I forgot". Cheers my love.
 
AmandaJR said:
Thanks. My Mum was truly the love of his life too and he never remarried. My eldest sister remembers how they used to dance around the kitchen to the radio (ballroom dancing) and then she had to "watch your sisters and brothers" as they waltzed upstairs! I was too young to remember my Mum but also never really felt a gap as my Dad was brilliant - lucky for him I was a tomboy so we played every sport together, including golf which I found very boring but he loved!
Click to expand...

When did the boring golf become an infatuation 😁👍
 
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