It feels so weird

[YandaB]

I think it is how we are programmed. A friend of mine always wears shorts, he even got married in them. No one blinked but I couldn't carry it off. I'll wear them on nights out, restaurants on and so on, but wearing at a wedding is oddly too far for me still.

I don't wear ties, haven't worn one for over 10yrs now. We went to a wedding last year and my wife asked what tie I was going to wear. 'I'm not wearing one' I replied. She was not happy, full on strop for days leading up to the wedding. I dug my heels in, got to the wedding, the groom and best men, 2, all were without ties .

We are brought up with norms, what is expected, and as we move away from them we still are fighting that little question mark in the back of our minds.

I have a similar programmed response for taking off my hat when going inside. It can only have come from cub scouts, I've rarely worn them since. Now that it's fairly sparse on top, I prefer to simply cover in sun cream and not a hat. So the compulsion to take it off when popping into the Pro shop happens less often, but when I wear it, off it comes, can't help myself

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I have a similar programmed response for taking off my hat when going inside. It can only have come from cub scouts, I've rarely worn them since. Now that it's fairly sparse on top, I prefer to simply cover in sun cream and not a hat. So the compulsion to take it off when popping into the Pro shop happens less often, but when I wear it, off it comes, can't help myself

There was a thread on here a few years ago about dress codes, I know, I know, they happen quite often, but on this one I started talking about caps and the need to take one off inside. I do the same as you, take it off, but I raised it as outdated and daft for younger people who wear caps as regular clothing. A poster stated it was about standards etc but no one could quite answer why it is rude to keep a cap on. Women wear hats indoors, men can't. It's old fashioned, it's what we do but no one can really put their finger on it. Wearing a cap indoors isn't rude, it isn't bad mannered, it's just an item of clothing. I'm not turning this into a dress code moment, we save them until winter when all is quiet , but it is another case of programming. Pavlov's dog is alive and well, perhaps chatting with Schrodinger's cat, or perhaps not

 

[backwoodsman]

There was a thread on here a few years ago about dress codes, I know, I know, they happen quite often, but on this one I started talking about caps and the need to take one off inside. I do the same as you, take it off, but I raised it as outdated and daft for younger people who wear caps as regular clothing. A poster stated it was about standards etc but no one could quite answer why it is rude to keep a cap on. Women wear hats indoors, men can't. It's old fashioned, it's what we do but no one can really put their finger on it. Wearing a cap indoors isn't rude, it isn't bad mannered, it's just an item of clothing. I'm not turning this into a dress code moment, we save them until winter when all is quiet , but it is another case of programming. Pavlov's dog is alive and well, perhaps chatting with Schrodinger's cat, or perhaps not

How does anyone know if Schrodinger's cat was wearing a hat. Or not?

 

[Pants]

Many years ago, my line manager bought a new suit and had a matching pair of shorts made for the warmer days. Medium dark blue jacket and shorst, black shoes and whatever socks he chose never looked right.

 

[Orikoru]

Many years ago, my line manager bought a new suit and had a matching pair of shorts made for the warmer days. Medium dark blue jacket and shorst, black shoes and whatever socks he chose never looked right.

I think that's the problem. No matter how smart your shorts are, trying to pair them with smart shoes looks ridiculous. You can only really wear trainers or at least casual footwear with shorts.

 

[Deleted member 25172]

I think it is how we are programmed. A friend of mine always wears shorts, he even got married in them. No one blinked but I couldn't carry it off. I'll wear them on nights out, restaurants on and so on, but wearing at a wedding is oddly too far for me still.

I don't wear ties, haven't worn one for over 10yrs now. We went to a wedding last year and my wife asked what tie I was going to wear. 'I'm not wearing one' I replied. She was not happy, full on strop for days leading up to the wedding. I dug my heels in, got to the wedding, the groom and best men, 2, all were without ties .

We are brought up with norms, what is expected, and as we move away from them we still are fighting that little question mark in the back of our minds.

If you were asked to wear a tie at a wedding (not by your wife, but through the invite), would you still not wear one?

 

[Lord Tyrion]

If you were asked to wear a tie at a wedding (not by your wife, but through the invite), would you still not wear one?

If it was on the invitation then yes. If it wasn't on the invitation then my default is no. Same for funerals.

Me wearing a tie, the top button would quickly be undone, tie loosened off, would soon look far more scruffy than me not wearing a tie

Thankfully I don't get many invitations stating 'formal attire required'. Not my social circle .

 

[Orikoru]

If it was on the invitation then yes. If it wasn't on the invitation then my default is no. Same for funerals.

Me wearing a tie, the top button would quickly be undone, tie loosened off, would soon look far more scruffy than me not wearing a tie

My tie at the wedding rule would be on for the ceremony, loosened for the dinner, then once the speeches are done it's coming off.

 

[sunshine]

Unless they got married on safari, I'm not having that. That's outrageous. Or maybe if he's a postman?

Or a professional golfer who is sick of wearing trousers to work every day

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I never ever wear a hat indoors. Just not the done thing.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

I never ever wear a hat indoors. Just not the done thing.

Why? It's historical but then so was standing when a 'lady' entered the room and we don't do that anymore, or do you?

It's another programmed response.

 

[Bdill93]

I wear a tie literally every day at work, I think business type shirts look weird without a tie

 

[Voyager EMH]

Last time I wore a tie was at my own wedding.
2012.
Mrs V and I walked from our house, where we had lived for 25 years, to the registry office, got married, and walked home.
I wore a shirt and tie, but no jacket - it was a warm summer's day. (did not wear shorts!)
All the other males in attendance (3 of them) wore ties. Close relatives only.
Still in the same house.
Not been to another wedding since.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

Why? It's historical but then so was standing when a 'lady' entered the room and we don't do that anymore, or do you?

It's another programmed response.

Indeed it is…but it feels weird and wrong wearing a hat indoors…so I don’t.

Not quite the same, but I usually stand if a lady comes up to me when I am seated. Less likely to do so if it’s a bloke doing the approaching.

 

[GreiginFife]

Why? It's historical but then so was standing when a 'lady' entered the room and we don't do that anymore, or do you?

It's another programmed response.

Reason I don't wear a hat indoors is nothing to do with programming.

I wear a hat, usually for two main reasons, both centered around protecting my head from the elements.

Indoors, there is no need to protect my head from the elements and so it no longer makes sense to wear a hat. In the same way I don't cut about the house with a coat on.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

Reason I don't wear a hat indoors is nothing to do with programming.

I wear a hat, usually for two main reasons, both centered around protecting my head from the elements.

Indoors, there is no need to protect my head from the elements and so it no longer makes sense to wear a hat. In the same way I don't cut about the house with a coat on.

Yes but that is different. You are not objecting to hats indoors, or wearing them indoors based on bygone reasons. Yours is a practical decision.

I don't wear them indoors either, for the reasons you give, but if someone else wants to, and plenty do, then I am fine with that.

 

[GreiginFife]

Yes but that is different. You are not objecting to hats indoors, or wearing them indoors based on bygone reasons. Yours is a practical decision.

I don't wear them indoors either, for the reasons you give, but if someone else wants to, and plenty do, then I am fine with that.

I do object to hats indoors though.
But that’s based on people’s idiocy and narcissism that it looks “good” or “cool” with no practical function.

I reserve my right to think people are twats.

 

[Orikoru]

Reason I don't wear a hat indoors is nothing to do with programming.

I wear a hat, usually for two main reasons, both centered around protecting my head from the elements.

Indoors, there is no need to protect my head from the elements and so it no longer makes sense to wear a hat. In the same way I don't cut about the house with a coat on.

All fine of course, but if you entered wearing the hat and plan to exit wearing the hat, there is also no need to take it off in between.

I do find it a bit of a faff at my golf club, say if we're sitting outside and I go inside to get the next round - I feel like I have to take off my hat for the sake of 'rules is rules', then end up awkwardly clutching it under one arm while carrying the pints back outside. Might as well just leave it on your head really.

 

[GreiginFife]

All fine of course, but if you entered wearing the hat and plan to exit wearing the hat, there is also no need to take it off in between.

I do find it a bit of a faff at my golf club, say if we're sitting outside and I go inside to get the next round - I feel like I have to take off my hat for the sake of 'rules is rules', then end up awkwardly clutching it under one arm while carrying the pints back outside. Might as well just leave it on your head really.

But in this intervening time, it serves no purpose. It has no practical application.

I don't pull up at Tesco and leave my car running on the basis that it's running when I arrive and I plan on it being running when I leave...

 

[Orikoru]

But in this intervening time, it serves no purpose. It has no practical application.

I don't pull up at Tesco and leave my car running on the basis that it's running when I arrive and I plan on it being running when I leave...

Other factors there such as wasting petrol and making it very hard to steal though. You don't really need to have shoes on when you're indoors either, but I highly doubt you take them off at the golf club or a restaurant. More convenient to leave them on. The 'practical application' of leaving your hat on, is not having to carry your hat around.