Inheritance

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

With all the noise of inheritance tax here's the thing about inheritance as I see it.

When my folks decided to move with their three young children to the suburbs from the tenement in central Glasgow where we lived - they do so for a variety of reasons. They wanted to get away from the grime and noise of 1960s Glasgow to a place where we could have a garden to play in; that was close to the countryside; where the schools were good, and where we had a good chance of not getting in with the wrong-crowd (and in 1960s Glasgow that was easy to do)

What drove them to do this for us is that they wanted to give us the best start in life that they could; to instill in us basic principles - values of decency, respect and consideration for others. And with a good schooling education they hoped that - unlike themselves - we'd be able to go to university, get a degree and then a good job. And on that basis make a decent life for ourselves. That would be our inheritance and how grateful I am that they succeeded on all counts.

What they never would have considered at all as part of any inheritance they would bequeath us would be money. They knew they that they'd never be rich and financial wealth was never part of their life or our life a children. When they bought the house it was not as a financial investment - rather it was an investment in us. The fact that that house we moved to in 1960 is now worth a lot of money is coincidental. That was never part of the plan. They did not expect nor work for that 'wealth' to be passed to us.

And so here we are today. My father passed 12yrs ago and my mother is now approaching end of life. Have they succeeded in their intentions for us? Yes they have. And anything financial I and my siblings get as an inheritance from my mother is neither my right or anything she would worry that much about. The house has done it's job. It has been my responsibility to make the best of the start my parents gave us; and it has been likewise mine for my children.

I might inherit zero from my mother's estate and that would not worry me; my parents have already given me my inheritance.

 

[Deleted member 18588]

The thing is SilH as a society we have long since lost sight of the basics.

A house is no longer a home but an investment and pension provision is not retirement planning but tax saving.

 

[HowlingGale]

Absolutely agree with this. I never had many 'things' growing up. My mum had three kids to support and a low-paying job. My financial inheritance when she passed was small. What I did inherit was a work-ethic, social values and a clear message of what is right and wrong.

This is what I want for my kids. I want them to be able to stand on their own two feet when they're older. As part of that we've made sure they're going to one of the best schools in Scotland. Along the way we'll hopefully instill the admirable traits etc.

The hoose cost us a fortune so they'll probably get nowt when we fall off our perch as it'll be mortgaged for the next hundred years.

 

[arnieboy]

I totally agree with the OP. My parents brought five of us up in a council house, earning little money and they worked very hard for what they had and passed away leaving nothing financially. Nevertheless what they instilled in us was far more valuable than money.

 

[Tashyboy]

Totally agree with what has been said, But and it is a massive but, went to the solicitors the other week re updating our will and he mentioned about what we leave and who gets what. It was a massive eye opener.
We "emigrated" from Rochdale to Mansfield in 1970. It took 3 hours and I saw my first cow. grass on the front lawn, indoor toilets. Three bedrooms. Heaven it was. Still had hand me down clothes, fortunately not my sisters.
My parents, instilled good values in me as did most parents that emigrated to Notts in the late sixties and early seventies. The house, schools and area was better, but the house still rented. All that changed with the buying of Council houses and pit houses through Missis Thatchers legacy. Peoples attitudes towards buying houses changed. Initially it was security and once your house was mortgage free in the pit villages it was a case of well I now have no job. But they cannot take the house off me coz it's paid for.
Then they became an investment. Not really sure when that was but the prices became silly and still are. At the time houses became an investment so did buying shares in BT, gas, water all the nationalised industries. The common man had gone from no money to having to be financially savvy. When the pits closed in the 1980's some men were being made redundant with up £40,000 pounds in there pockets. Some were very savvy and bought two three and four houses to rent out. Some went to the welfare every session bought a new car and caravan and were skint within a year. The working class man had to become wise with money he never had. Having no money meant problems. Having money meant more problems.
working class man left wills with nothing. Now they had to leave wills and the vultures were hovering old family members turned up and wanted a piece of the family silver. Then the government wanted a piece or the pie. Even the council wanted there piece
My mother was narked, why should she have to pay for care home fees when next door peed his money up the wall and gets it for free. She and dad have worked and saved all her life and paid her taxes but now the council and Government want to take some of it away.
Speaking to the solicitor when changing our wills put things into a financial perspective that mum and dad never could.
They were on about this last night on question time and it got a bit heated with a lot of people saying that if big business paid it taxes then inheritance tax could be abolished.

 

[Waitforme]

OP , first time I've had a lump in my throat reading a golf forum.

In a similar situation , my mum has enough cash for a nice life. She is 85 but will not indulge herself. I was staying with her for a few days recently and mentioned one of my socks had a hole in it, she asked later where the sock was, I replied in the bin of course, she went and got it out of the bin and darned it for me.

If all she leaves me is her values and memories that will be more than enough.

 

[Deleted member 16999]

Some lovely posts which I whole heartedly agree with.
But as a parent I do hope my lad looks back at me and the missus and shares the feelings and thoughts the way we do about ours, I hope we've done the right thing, all positive so far, just hope we can add some financial security for him as well once we've gone

 

[Hobbit]

If you swap Glasgow for Middlesbrough that sounds very familiar. South Bank, in Middlesbrough is rough. Dad worked every hour he could, and worked around the world to provide for a good upbringing in a nicer area.

Dad went first in 2004. A grand man who made it to director level from working in the shipyard as an apprentice fitter.

Mam would give you her last shilling. And her final words, indicative of her nature, "are my kids alright?" Kids? I was 50 when she died, my youngest sibling being 40.

 

[SocketRocket]

I agree that the most important things you can inherit or leave are love and decent values in life.

On the point of inheritance tax, I believe this to be a horrible insidious thing as it taxes already taxed income. We hope to leave something to our children when we are gone, it wont be enough for tax but hopefully will help them a little. Anyone that finds this does not suit their moral standpoint can always donate any inheritance to their favourite charities.

 

[williamalex1]

With all the noise of inheritance tax here's the thing about inheritance as I see it.

When my folks decided to move with their three young children to the suburbs from the tenement in central Glasgow where we lived - they do so for a variety of reasons. They wanted to get away from the grime and noise of 1960s Glasgow to a place where we could have a garden to play in; that was close to the countryside; where the schools were good, and where we had a good chance of not getting in with the wrong-crowd (and in 1960s Glasgow that was easy to do)

What drove them to do this for us is that they wanted to give us the best start in life that they could; to instill in us basic principles - values of decency, respect and consideration for others. And with a good schooling education they hoped that - unlike themselves - we'd be able to go to university, get a degree and then a good job. And on that basis make a decent life for ourselves. That would be our inheritance and how grateful I am that they succeeded on all counts.

What they never would have considered at all as part of any inheritance they would bequeath us would be money. They knew they that they'd never be rich and financial wealth was never part of their life or our life a children. When they bought the house it was not as a financial investment - rather it was an investment in us. The fact that that house we moved to in 1960 is now worth a lot of money is coincidental. That was never part of the plan. They did not expect nor work for that 'wealth' to be passed to us.

And so here we are today. My father passed 12yrs ago and my mother is now approaching end of life. Have they succeeded in their intentions for us? Yes they have. And anything financial I and my siblings get as an inheritance from my mother is neither my right or anything she would worry that much about. The house has done it's job. It has been my responsibility to make the best of the start my parents gave us; and it has been likewise mine for my children.

I might inherit zero from my mother's estate and that would not worry me; my parents have already given me my inheritance.

Nice post Hugh, keep your chins up pal :thup:

 

[john0]

If you swap Glasgow for Middlesbrough that sounds very familiar. South Bank, in Middlesbrough is rough. Dad worked every hour he could, and worked around the world to provide for a good upbringing in a nicer area.

Dad went first in 2004. A grand man who made it to director level from working in the shipyard as an apprentice fitter.

Mam would give you her last shilling. And her final words, indicative of her nature, "are my kids alright?" Kids? I was 50 when she died, my youngest sibling being 40.

Nowt wrong with South Bank, first 11 years of my life was spent there - before we moved upmarket to Eston

 

[Hobbit]

Nowt wrong with South Bank, first 11 years of my life was spent there - before we moved upmarket to Eston

Bet you never lived in Chicago Fleet!

 

[john0]

Bet you never lived in Chicago Fleet!

Never had the pleasure I'm afraid, only ever worked there.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

I agree that the most important things you can inherit or leave are love and decent values in life.

On the point of inheritance tax, I believe this to be a horrible insidious thing as it taxes already taxed income. We hope to leave something to our children when we are gone, it wont be enough for tax but hopefully will help them a little. Anyone that finds this does not suit their moral standpoint can always donate any inheritance to their favourite charities.

Not when that wealth is generated by rising house prices and so not in any way by hard work and a wealth coming out of already taxed income. And for the vast majority the value of a house is the source of 'wealth' that is subject to inheritance tax - and even then you have to more than £650,000 in a property for the tax to kick in.

And I never said for a moment that inheriting money did not suit my moral standpoint - rather that it simply appears that some seem to place great importance in inheriting money from their parents than valuing the true inheritance that I suggest is much more important than money. Which is why I said that I don't really care if I don't inherit money from my mother - and that it was never my parents primary goal in life to bequeath us money on their passing - so therefore loss of some of it to the taxman is in the scheme of things really neither here nor there.

My gratitude to what my parents have given me goes way beyond any money that I might inherit - not that it would be of sufficient amount to be subject to inheritance tax in any case.

Anyway - see what happens why you reach this time of life and reflections kick-in and you realise what really matters

 

[SocketRocket]

Not when that wealth is generated by rising house prices and so not in any way by hard work and a wealth coming out of already taxed income. And for the vast majority the value of a house is the source of 'wealth' that is subject to inheritance tax - and even then you have to more than £650,000 in a property for the tax to kick in.

And I never said for a moment that inheriting money did not suit my moral standpoint - rather that it simply appears that some seem to place great importance in inheriting money from their parents than valuing the true inheritance that I suggest is much more important than money. Which is why I said that I don't really care if I don't inherit money from my mother - and that it was never my parents primary goal in life to bequeath us money on their passing - so therefore loss of some of it to the taxman is in the scheme of things really neither here nor there.

My gratitude to what my parents have given me goes way beyond any money that I might inherit - not that it would be of sufficient amount to be subject to inheritance tax in any case.

Anyway - see what happens why you reach this time of life and reflections kick-in and you realise what really matters

You really dont have to defend your statement, I was not commenting directly at it, rather giving my point of view. I agree fully with your sentiments regarding what your parents did for you.

Regarding your reply. Would you say that any increase in wages due to wage inflation should be taxed at a higher rate?

 

[Ross61]

I agree and can relate to the upbringing of the OP although perhaps a slightly better starting point in Bethnal Green, London where my dad did all the hard work before I was born in my parents first purchased house in Enfield.
My father passed 4 years ago and my mum moved into a flat where maintenance and house work was manageable for her. She now has lots of money stashed away from the "downsizing" but for her old habits die hard. Getting her to spend her new found wealth is almost impossible. She recently told me she had booked a holiday, but she wanted to say sorry for spending my inheritance! I told her I don't want/need the moneyI'm mid 50s and past needing financial help, but she is fixated in having worked all her life to leave myself and my sister (also financially stable and in the same mind as myself) as large a sum as possible.
My mum won't use taxis as a bus is free even though she struggles to walk to the bus stop and also at her destination. I pull my hair out (what's left of it) when she says she can't afford some things and how poor interest rates are at the moment.
Old attitudes to money in a modern world.

 

[Tashyboy]

👍 that last sentance sums it up rather well Ross61

 

[louise_a]

Very similar to the OP, My dad died 10 years ago and mum is now 95. We (my siblings and I) always told them to enjoy what they had and to not worry about passing anything on. What mum does have left is being used to top up the costs for the care home she is now living in.

 

[Bigfoot]

I agree with the thought that inheritance is not something to be expected or needed.

My mum died last year and the house will be shared between my brother and myself. I'm just coming to retirement, so have no need for the cash but my younger brother has two school age children and one due at university next year.

It will actually help my kids as it will be the only way they will be able to afford a deposit for a house. It will mean they can get a small mortgage rather than a whopping great big one.

It was always my mum's desire to help the grandchildren, and she will have done that handsomely.