Thieves have stolen 20 crates of Red Bull from our local store, I don't know how these people sleep at night!
Funny Stuff
- Thread starter Fish
- Start date
Dorian
Club Champion
A couple who drove their car to ALDI, only to have their car break down in the car park. The man told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones..
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by watching.
The RAC mechanic however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car. On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was in shorts, his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones..
Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand UP his shorts, and tucked everything back into place.
On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by watching.
The RAC mechanic however, had to have three stitches in his forehead.
I used to feed Gorilla's at my local zoo from a distance with my golf club, I used to drive them Banana's.
Andy808
Tour Winner
williamalex1
Money List Winner
my old pal gavin killed himself by taking an overdose of antacid . so sadly gavisgone
PIng
Head Pro
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
A stick.
wrighty1874
Journeyman Pro
I rang 999 because two girls were fighting over me.The operator asked "what is the emergency?"I said "the fat one is winning"
Last edited by a moderator:
richart
Major Champion
Two blondes walked into a building...... you would have thought at least one of them would have seen it.
The late great Tommy Cooper
The late great Tommy Cooper
smange
Journeyman Pro
All we are having this year for Christmas dinner is Babybel
After all we are celebrating the birth of the baby cheeses
After all we are celebrating the birth of the baby cheeses
wrighty1874
Journeyman Pro
When I was a kid,any time i had a sore throat,I was given a Halls soother to suck on. My uncle Stuart kept them in his pants!!!
wrighty1874
Journeyman Pro
I'm so excited, it's only 3 Chelsea managers til Christmas!!
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
By 2015 you will never be more than 6 feet from an ex Chelsea Manager
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
I wouldn't say my Wife was fat but she burned her backside on the light bulb when she climbed over me in bed to answer the phone.
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
Talk about mixed emotions. I saw my Mother in Law reversing my new car over a cliff the other day.
richart
Major Champion
Did you ever catch that rat ?
SocketRocket
Ryder Cup Winner
wrighty1874
Journeyman Pro
Well it looks like Stuart Hall could get 5 years inside, 10 if the police play the Joker
DavyW
Medal Winner
"It's me or the game" said the single football fans ex wife 
My missus has asked for something in silk for Christmas....No doubt this tin of emulsion will be the wrong bleeding colour!
