FAO: All Married Men

Its your wedding, not his. Do you think he'll rmember it fondly in years to come. Personally, unless he's your bestest best buddy ever, and you ain't marrying him, I'd kick him into touch.

Alternatively, tell him you've organised a team of people to sort everything from the stag do to the speech - in effect just make him the mouth piece on the day.
 
My was a useless twonk as well. Didn't bother sorting anything till the last minute and I had to give him ideas for it. Was a giggle but was expecting more from him.

Got married last October, not really seen him since. Best mate apparently, still not bothered to tell me personally he's moving to Australia in March. Ah well, you win some, you lose some.
 
sack if off,do you really want the best day of your life being spoilt by this prat and don't forget your wife will be livid if anything goes wrong and you will never hear the last of it believe me
 
connor said:
well either the boy is pshycic or got gist from my text.
He just rung me he didnt reply as hes been in his evening class. He is sorting the date tomorrow he can have off with his boss then tomorrow evening comin round here to sort karting out then the evening antics. He is phoning bus companies tomorrow as well for prices.


hmmmmm do i give him the benafit of the doubt for a little bit? he sounded quite promising on the phone and was quite apologetic for not being in contact.
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Karma.

I was struggling to pick between 3 of my mates. I ended up picking the outstanding candidate, not for organisational qualities, but he is my soul mate, mate (if you know what I mean). I went with my gut feeling and was glad I did. The other two I made ushers and explained my decision, and also made them a very good part of it. Everyone was happy.

That worked for me, but one does not work for all.
 
Simples - You wanted him as best man so keep him! However, only give him duties that you are sure he can do. even if thats only making a speech (hopefully he can do that without upsetting your missus to be). get someone more organised to arrange the stag.
 
Ah! The wedding.

It's not your wedding mate.

It's your wife (to be)'s day. You are only there to make up the numbers, so to speak. The whole day is planned around her.

If you have any doubts about a major cock-up happening, then you must plan accordingly. If that ultimately means that your best mate will never talk to you again, you have to weigh that against your wife never talking to you again.

Difficult choice I agree :whistle:
 
Got agree with most posts on here. Sack him. The wedding day is your misses day. The stagg do is yours. If your mate isn't up to it stand him down and replace with someone better.
 
Connor- I agree with most but I empathise with your predicament, a friend had a similar situation, stuck with the 'bad' best man and when he thinks about his wedding now he always ALWAYS mentions he wished he had chosen someone else! nothing bad happened but it was just done basically with basic organisation and basic speech, memorable for all the wrong reasons.

Your fiance AND your parents are getting annoyed, when it goes wrong on the day they'll be even angrier as everyone saw it coming but NO-ONE ie YOU did anything about it.

Here's what I think is a fair and equitable solution that should keep everyone happy-ish

You keep laz-y-boy as best man but you speak with him and tell him your parents and fiance are piling up ideas and arrangements they want done and it's not fair to load them all onto lay-z-boy as he has enough to do with his own life/work etc.
That and the fact you'd like to give some more responsibilty to usher 1 and usher 2 as you are sure they want more involvement as they are not his best man so you want to make 3 best men, that way you can share the ever increasing organisation that needs done but you still want lay-z-boy to give the rings, do the speech and give you support etc etc
A GOOD friend will go with this as its what YOU and your fiance want and need to ensure everyone has a good day. I've a hunch he might even be relieved not having sole responsibility.

Good luck Connor, not an easy discussion but doing it this way makes it an easier discussion and 'sell' and lay-z-boy is still very involved but not critical............

let us know how you get on...............oh! and congratulations on the wedding, make sure its a great day for your future wife
 
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If you have any reasoanble doubts at all about his ability to be your BM i would tactfully tell him your concerns, if he is a good friend then he should understand, may even be relieved.
 
Mates of mines best man got drunk before his speech. He then proceeded to stumble through the cards, at which point the bride said "Come on mate, do you need a hand?"

His reply "Shut it vermin!"

Cue best man getting knocked out two minutes later in the bar!
 
forefortheday said:
Mates of mines best man got drunk before his speech. He then proceeded to stumble through the cards, at which point the bride said "Come on mate, do you need a hand?"

His reply "Shut it vermin!"

Cue best man getting knocked out two minutes later in the bar!
Click to expand...

That is comedy gold!

To the OP, you'll need someone solid and reliable on the morning of the big day. I was a burbling wreck by mid-morning and he helped keep me on the right track - ie; not nailing a few Stella's before breakfast.

Your boy might be good for that sort of thing - which means you'll need to ask somebody else to help organise the stag do's you want etc.
 
You've known him for 20 odd years is this typical behaviour? If not then I suggest he doesnt fancy the job much and is frightened to tell you. I've been best man twice, once for a mate and the second tiime last year for my brother. I think the world of both of them but if I could of I would have refused! The thing is you cant say no when asked but being BM is a daunting task especially if its not in your nature to be life and soul of the party.

Suggest that you may choose someone else, he may thank you for it.
 
BEWARE OF THE BESTMANS SPEECH!. I know of 2 bestmen whose cheep jokes caused a lot of trouble. My own daughter never spoke to her brother in law best man, for months after his speech; she accused him of ruining her day. She didn’t take kindly to her family and friends being subjected to stereotype insults about scousers being thieves and dressed like they just come out of magistrates court.

I was also at a wedding when the bride’s father had to be restrained from hitting the best man. He didn’t take kindly to the sexually deprived jokes about his daughter
 
Golden Rules for a best man's speech:
  1. Never insult the Bride
  2. Embarrass the Groom
  3. Never insult the Bride
  4. Make subtly rude jokes
  5. Never insult the Bride
  6. Never insult the Bride's Mother
  7. Never insult the Bride
  8. Get off with a Bridesmaid (If appropriate)
  9. And finally, NEVER insult the Bride!
 
Nothing wrong with a bit of emotion, although descending into tears should be the bride's perogative :D

Having been best man last July, I was too nervous to worry about emotion - I also had to follow the bride's father who was a superb orator and brought the house down with his speech :mad:

I always think that as long as people see you have made a bit of effort, they will support you.

ps when I got married and made my speech I was worried about getting emotional - my uncle gave me a tip. Squeeze a bread roll when you feel yourself welling up, sounds stupid but it works - infact the breadrolls were passed to all speechmakers....soppy lot that we are. Everyone found it quite amusing!
 
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