Embarrassing intimate experiences

[Pathetic Shark]

Following on from Orikuru's story about his friend, we needed a sub-thread on this subject. Please though, we have to keep this clean(ish) but we can have a good laugh about past exploits or experiences.

I will start with someone Homer and I both used to work with the 80s. A bunch of us were crashing over in the lounge after a party and it became pretty clear that two of them were going at it albeit trying to be quiet.

After about 10 minutes and I was biting my lip trying hard to laugh, wondering if anyone else was awake, I heard her whisper "sshhh, I think someone else in the room might be awake". A loud voice replied "No we're not, please carry on, I'm almost there myself".

The whole room erupted in hysterics as it turned out everyone was listening in. The Monday at work when the two of them came in was pretty funny, he was acting all Jack-the-lad and she was trying not to be noticed.

 

[Orikoru]

This probably wasn't what you were looking for but someone did a poo in our bath once. Was the first time I ever met the bloke as well. Many years later I attended his wedding in the Ukraine. Never would have thought I'd say that.

 

[pokerjoke]

I have had lots lol but two are etched in the memory.
I picked up a stunner at a night club and things got heated,at the end of the night we were both wanting to take it further so I took her down to what we called the gardens,basically a large area of grass.
I layed her down gently onto the grass(it was pitch black) as we started kissing the most horrendous smell wafted over us,i had layed her down in dog poo.
End of night.

Long story short.
I had a girlfriend for about a month and after a skinful I asked her if we could go back to her house,although she said no 10 times my persistence worked and we went back.
After the deed was done I was peeing myself.
I grabbed a towel as I was naked and she told me where the toilet was.
I couldn’t find it and I was leaking lol
found a door and opened it and vaguely saw a sink in the room so relieved myself in it and went back.
The next day I got a phone call from the girlfriend banning me from her house.
I had gone into her parents bedroom but they were too scared to shout out as I had never met them and obviously didn’t know who I was.

 

[Slab]

I have had lots lol but two are etched in the memory.
I picked up a stunner at a night club and things got heated,at the end of the night we were both wanting to take it further so I took her down to what we called the gardens,basically a large area of grass.
I layed her down gently onto the grass(it was pitch black) as we started kissing the most horrendous smell wafted over us,i had layed her down in dog poo.
End of night.

Long story short.
I had a girlfriend for about a month and after a skinful I asked her if we could go back to her house,although she said no 10 times my persistence worked and we went back.
After the deed was done I was peeing myself.
I grabbed a towel as I was naked and she told me where the toilet was.
I couldn’t find it and I was leaking lol
found a door and opened it and vaguely saw a sink in the room so relieved myself in it and went back.
The next day I got a phone call from the girlfriend banning me from her house.
I had gone into her parents bedroom but they were too scared to shout out as I had never met them and obviously didn’t know who I was.

I kinda think both these deserve a forum ban ?

 

[patricks148]

Modesty Forbids

 

[Twire]

Can we please remember this is a public golf forum.

 

[jim8flog]

Sharing a bedroom with two friends, the girl was rather loud with her boyfriend so I piped up with " I did not know the trains ran through this village"

Just going for a quick shunt became one of our in jokes.

 

[williamalex1]

So many incidents to pick from my 55 years + playing in bands, I'll need to do some thinking and cleaning up before posting , to avoid being well and truly Fraggered

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Following on from Orikuru's story about his friend, we needed a sub-thread on this subject. Please though, we have to keep this clean(ish) but we can have a good laugh about past exploits or experiences.

I will start with someone Homer and I both used to work with the 80s. A bunch of us were crashing over in the lounge after a party and it became pretty clear that two of them were going at it albeit trying to be quiet.

After about 10 minutes and I was biting my lip trying hard to laugh, wondering if anyone else was awake, I heard her whisper "sshhh, I think someone else in the room might be awake". A loud voice replied "No we're not, please carry on, I'm almost there myself".

The whole room erupted in hysterics as it turned out everyone was listening in. The Monday at work when the two of them came in was pretty funny, he was acting all Jack-the-lad and she was trying not to be noticed.

And you didn't even have to touch on the infamous Ops party after the lunchtime session in the pub. One or two from those archives bring a smile to my face too

 

[Wolf]

So many incidents to pick from my 55 years + playing in bands, I'll need to do some thinking and cleaning up before posting , to avoid being well and truly Fraggered

Was just thinking that myself about my time in the forces so many good stories and bizarre memories will have to work out a way to make them forum appropriate ?

 

[Pathetic Shark]

And you didn't even have to touch on the infamous Ops party after the lunchtime session in the pub. One or two from those archives bring a smile to my face too

I still remember the legendary game of football that took place at 5.30pm between Accounts 33 and Accounts 14. Between the two offices. About eight-a-side, the ball flying off the walls of the corridors and people left in the building just diving for cover. Seem to recall the same individual who was mentioned earlier, we'll call him M.Y. , was the prime instigator of that one too.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

I still remember the legendary game of football that took place at 5.30pm between Accounts 33 and Accounts 14. Between the two offices. About eight-a-side, the ball flying off the walls of the corridors and people left in the building just diving for cover. Seem to recall the same individual who was mentioned earlier, we'll call him M.Y. , was the prime instigator of that one too.

Was he not involved in Fashgate and his infamous incident in the gents

 

[fundy]

I still remember the legendary game of football that took place at 5.30pm between Accounts 33 and Accounts 14. Between the two offices. About eight-a-side, the ball flying off the walls of the corridors and people left in the building just diving for cover. Seem to recall the same individual who was mentioned earlier, we'll call him M.Y. , was the prime instigator of that one too.

im guessing you just had to be there

 

[Reemul]

I picked a young lady up, went back to her place after having a skinful, middle of the night woke up needed a pee. Got out of bed, opened the first door I saw and had a pee. Turned out to be her wardrobe. Didn't go down well at all.