Dementia Awareness

[clubchamp98]

It is sad and also comforting knowing I’m not the only one in this position.
My dad still has his faculties and is fairly active but is going out less and less as he doesn’t want to leave her on her own.

To be fair the wife and kids are much better with her than I am, if she calls them by the wrong name they don’t correct her and just go along with it.


My son moving in with them is looking like a real possibility and we think it would work for everyone.

You need to keep an eye on your dad.!
The pressure he’s under is immense but some don’t show it until it’s serious.

Happened to mine.

 

[irip]

You need to keep an eye on your dad.!
The pressure he’s under is immense but some don’t show it until it’s serious.

Happened to mine.

I do chat to him quite a lot and he knows if he tells us he is going out someone will go round until he gets back.

We visit normally twice a week and do all the cleaning and washing etc.

He loves when we visit and take them out as he can relax and have a couple of beers knowing we will keep an eye on my mum.

 

[Tashyboy]

You need to keep an eye on your dad.!
The pressure he’s under is immense but some don’t show it until it’s serious.

Happened to mine.

Had this with me mum. Everything is ok. Everything is ok and then there were tears. She was and still
Is good at telling you only Certain things. You had to let her Just slip things out. Me dad who had been warned not to say certain things would innocently tell us. That was followed by mum Saying “ Your dad has a big mouth”. Forgetting he has dementia.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

It really isn't much at all, works out around £100 a year so far but I will be doing a lot more for the place going forward. When you've been around these places on a regular basis you realise just how amazing the staff are and what they have to do deal with.

Absolutely.
The Manageress of my Mum's care home was as equally adept with the welfare of the families as she was with her residents.
On one occasion my Mum had fallen and was hospitalised a few days before we were due to travel Indo-China.
She overheard us discussing cancellation and said "What possible use would that be? She'll be back here in no time". After she'd finished with us we knew she was right but the guilt is so hard to handle.

 

[Skytot]

You need to keep an eye on your dad.!
The pressure he’s under is immense but some don’t show it until it’s serious.

Happened to mine.

Yes you are spot on ,
My dad is 94 and is fine , my mum is 92 with dementia and they lived together until 2 weeks ago. My dad was basically mums carer with a little help from me and my wife and brother & wife . Dad was very stubborn and would barely except any help , which included cleaners or carers . He had a fall in the bathroom and was found next day by my brother when he was taking them some food round , mum didn’t have a clue he had been there all night . Dad was in hospital for 10 days , his had a kidney infection, bloods were all over the place and generally unwell. We had to take turns to stay and sleep on the floor to look after my mum which was a nightmare. She basically slept all day and at night would put her to bed but she kept getting up . Dad had been putting up with this for god knows how long , he never told us . After a week we took the horrible decision to put mum in a care home , once we managed to get her there she’s been very content . Dad is home now and having carers coming round 4 times a day as well as family. It’s been a tough few weeks but luckily our family have been brilliant and pulled together, only wish dad would have not been a martyr and accepted help earlier.

 

[rulefan]

How much does 'care' cost (either 'at home' or 'in care').
I believe my wife is in the early stages and I have been told that I only have a few years left. Once I am gone, sale of our property will probably cover costs but I have no idea what they are.

 

[anotherdouble]

How much does 'care' cost (either 'at home' or 'in care').
I believe my wife is in the early stages and I have been told that I only have a few years left. Once I am gone, sale of our property will probably cover costs but I have no idea what they are.

A very good care home on south coast is 2k a week and I suppose at home u must be paying £20, £30, £40 an hour I would think

 

[Lord Tyrion]

In Northumberland the cost is around £1,200 per week, approx, in a decent home.

The good care at home companies are around £30 per hour. For most you need to commit to a few hours at a time, you can not just book 1 hour.

It very much varies on a region by region basis.

 

[Skytot]

My mums home is £1150 a week , very nice old school with lovely carers

 

[Tashyboy]

How much does 'care' cost (either 'at home' or 'in care').
I believe my wife is in the early stages and I have been told that I only have a few years left. Once I am gone, sale of our property will probably cover costs but I have no idea what they are.

Bottom line is, it’s complicated. The costs mentioned are true, But it all depends on what the set price is at every care home.
Other factors include what is the your bank accounts, what your income is. Once all that is taken into account you “may” get financial help. The complicated bits are some houses have been signed over to the children. Which negates selling the house to pay for care. But that was done years and years ago. Unfortunately it is not a one shoe fits all scenario. It is a minefield.
Seeking advice would be my advice. And good luck me man.

 

[RichA]

Dad's lovely care home in a pretty village in Notts is run by a local housing care trust. It's non-profit. He's self-funding and it's £4400 per month.
MiL's care home is one of the large, privately owned ones that's like a cross between a hospital and a posh Travelodge. It's a bit soulless. It's £8500 per month.

I'd suggest speaking to people locally and doing plenty of research.

 

[RichA]

Bottom line is, it’s complicated. The costs mentioned are true, But it all depends on what the set price is at every care home.
Other factors include what is the your bank accounts, what your income is. Once all that is taken into account you “may” get financial help. The complicated bits are some houses have been signed over to the children. Which negates selling the house to pay for care. But that was done years and years ago. Unfortunately it is not a one shoe fits all scenario. It is a minefield.
Seeking advice would be my advice. And good luck me man.

Further to that, once the resident runs out of money and funding is required, the authorities can dig deep into their financial history. There's no 7-year rule in this. If a house was signed over to kids 10 years ago it can still be treated as deprivation of assets if they consider it was done to avoid paying for care in the future.

 

[NearHull]

Further to that, once the resident runs out of money and funding is required, the authorities can dig deep into their financial history. There's no 7-year rule in this. If a house was signed over to kids 10 years ago it can still be treated as deprivation of assets if they consider it was done to avoid paying for care in the future.

I think the comment above is extremely useful. I have relatives who put their house into their children’s control under a trust, in total belief that the local authorities cannot access the asset if they wanted/needed to.

I took legal advice on this possible action over ten years ago to try to protect my house in the future. The lawyer told me that she could put the house into trust or transfer it to my daughter (and charge a substantial sum to do so), but that action will not ringfence it against a Local Authority. An hour of professional advice from a specialist firm who then declined to charge.

 

[Tashyboy]

Further to that, once the resident runs out of money and funding is required, the authorities can dig deep into their financial history. There's no 7-year rule in this. If a house was signed over to kids 10 years ago it can still be treated as deprivation of assets if they consider it was done to avoid paying for care in the future.

A lot of what I quoted was from Missis Tash, my main contribution was it’s a minefield in a maze. One of the guys said the only advantage in paying for care yourself is that you get to choose the home yourself. And there are some nice ones. Missis T has lost count of the amount of care homes she visited during her time as Urology outreach nurse. So she knew the good and bad. And suffice to say the better ones are usually full. Unfortunately and please pardon the pun but it really is dead man’s shoes to get in some.
I mentioned the other day that I think slowly the realisation of me dads condition is sinking in with mum.She said to me “ I really worry if I pass away before your dad”. I told her not to worry as I will look after him. If needs be he will move into the dining room. But for how long ( if that day comes).
As me dad says “ growing old is not fun “.