Dementia Awareness

[Lucifer MorningStar]

I'm talking from a personal level. I wasn't in the slightest being insensitive

Aside from the fact you won’t be of sound mind so unable to make that decision consciously thus being impossible to do. The only other option is to put that onto your loved ones and hope they can then live their lives knowing they chose to end yours!! Really not a cool thing to have posted on such a sensitive subject, really inappropriate and frankly selfish of you pass that decision onto family to live with.

 

[clubchamp98]

Not especially helpful or sensitive to those with loved ones suffering from dementia.

Possibly not but it’s a realistic view.!

 

[clubchamp98]

Aside from the fact you won’t be of sound mind so unable to make that decision consciously thus being impossible to do. The only other option is to put that onto your loved ones and hope they can then live their lives knowing they chose to end yours!! Really not a cool thing to have posted on such a sensitive subject, really inappropriate and frankly selfish of you pass that decision onto family to live with.

I think he meant put your wishes in writing a long time before it actually happens.( how I read it anyway)

But that will only happen if it becomes law.

This happens ! One loose sentence and it can cause a problem within families with how someone takes it.
We need to talk and help each other not argue guys.

 

[Lucifer MorningStar]

I think he meant put your wishes in writing a long time before it actually happens.( how I read it anyway)

But that will only happen if it becomes law.

This happens ! One loose sentence and it can cause a problem within families with how someone takes it.
We need to talk and help each other not argue guys.

Comes down to how you read it I guess. I saw it the other way and as totally unwarranted on such a sensitive subject hence my response and tbh I stand by it in how I see the context of the meaning.

But back to the more important side of the subject. Supporting each other and being safe space

 

[kp17]

Just came across this online:
View attachment 60054

That’s really good

 

[Tashyboy]

Re dementia, I have really only seen two cases. FIL and my dad. They are at Polar opposites of what dementia can do. FIL could be violent and aggressive. And he was. He would forget what his wife looked like, and would go for walks in the evening and walk miles going home to his house where he lived when he was a kid. My dad is forgetful and his body is now failing him massively and bed wetting is now the norm.
Missis T has seen far to many and has seen all sorts in between our fathers conditions.
Re talking to suspected loved ones with possible memory problems. Bloody hell it is tough. My dad was a dream to talk to. FIL was aggressive. Come what may, early diagnosis is paramount. That comes about through early uncomfortable conversations.

 

[rulefan]

How do you broach the subject with the person who may be affected?

 

[clubchamp98]

How do you broach the subject with the person who may be affected?

That’s a tough one.

We had no problem with mum as she knew it was happening.
When she mentioned she’d forgot something we all said “ we do the same” and laugh.
Then say “ maybe we need testing” as a joke see how she takes it.
She might know there’s something wrong herself but is waiting for you to mention it.

It’s a minefield but get some advice from a dementia website Dementia Support Service is a start.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

It's not a humorous subject but once my Mum was in a safe environment (a lovely care home nearby) humour crept in often, especially between the residents, and was often a great relief.
On asking her one day what she'd had for breakfast she attempted to say "Rice Krispies". She paused a while then uttered "Shi**y crisps". Another pause, then she exploded laughing at the realisation of her answer. So did we.
That taught me that even though she couldn't articulate she understood what she'd just said.
Imagine the frustration of wanting to say something but not being able to formulate the words.

 

[RichA]

How do you broach the subject with the person who may be affected?

With love and tact.
The only obvious route to help before some kind of incident is via the GP, I think.
There are options available via the memory clinic that they can refer to that can slow down the progress of dementia and Alzheimer's, but only if it's caught early.
Leave it too long, as we unwittingly did twice, and you all just become passengers. I wish we'd recognised the obvious signs much sooner and done something proactive.

 

[RichA]

It's not a humorous subject but once my Mum was in a safe environment (a lovely care home nearby) humour crept in often, especially between the residents, and was often a great relief.
On asking her one day what she'd had for breakfast she attempted to say "Rice Krispies". She paused a while then uttered "Shi**y crisps". Another pause, then she exploded laughing at the realisation of her answer. So did we.
That taught me that even though she couldn't articulate she understood what she'd just said.
Imagine the frustration of wanting to say something but not being able to formulate the words.

Dad often makes himself and us laugh with similar things. He knows what he wants to say but can only find completely wrong words.
No problem laughing along when there's obvious love covering everything.
It wasn't like that with mum though. She was mostly angry or upset.

 

[Lord Tyrion]

It's not a humorous subject but once my Mum was in a safe environment (a lovely care home nearby) humour crept in often, especially between the residents, and was often a great relief.
On asking her one day what she'd had for breakfast she attempted to say "Rice Krispies". She paused a while then uttered "Shi**y crisps". Another pause, then she exploded laughing at the realisation of her answer. So did we.
That taught me that even though she couldn't articulate she understood what she'd just said.
Imagine the frustration of wanting to say something but not being able to formulate the words.

I think humour is often essential when you are in the midst of things. It's the release valve for all involved. Far better for everyone to have a chuckle than the tension to ratchet up. Don't forget, in the example you gave, you are all laughing together. That's a lovely, happy memory. Much better than some of the darker ones that inevitably crop up.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

I think humour is often essential when you are in the midst of things. It's the release valve for all involved. Far better for everyone to have a chuckle than the tension to ratchet up. Don't forget, in the example you gave, you are all laughing together. That's a lovely, happy memory. Much better than some of the darker ones that inevitably crop up.

Me, my wife, some carers and some residents. Lovely moment.
I once offe

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

Sorry, on a bumpy bus!
I once offered around a bag of marshmallows. One if my Mum's (toothless) friends said "Ooh, these are nice, what are they?"
I said "marshmallows" and she said
"Where do they come from?"
I said "Marshmallow trees"
She's said "Ooh" and 15 mins later was still working it around with her tongue.
I had to take marshmallows every visit there on

 

[Lord Tyrion]

That's a lovely story. Anyone not been in a care home for people with dementia might think it's poking fun at someone but it isn't, it really isn't. You made someone happy, job done

 

[NearHull]

Just wanted to add that I have been following all your comments closely. I can’t say anything of value, except I feel for you if you have a loved one with dementia. It’s certainly a bit dusty in here.

 

[Tashyboy]

So this morning I rang the local social health service re how long before a social worker gets involved. Answer, Up to 16 weeks.
I also called the GP to see if a referral had been made for the Occupational therapist to visit, as I asked on Monday, No. but it has now.
I also asked the hospital if a referral had been made for the Continence dept to visit. No but it had now.

 

[Sid Rixon IV]

That's a lovely story. Anyone not been in a care home for people with dementia might think it's poking fun at someone but it isn't, it really isn't. You made someone happy, job done

It was like stepping into Narnia and I became a better person through being in their world.

 

[clubchamp98]

Old guy in my dad’s ward in hospital .
Every time I went in he’d hide, saw him peeking around things looking at me.

One day he announced “ don’t talk to that big fella he’s a copper.” I wasn’t.
“ He’s been chasing me for a bank robbery in 1959”

I wasn’t born until 1957 so blue lights on my pram

Had some great laughs with the staff.

One female nurse told me once she had “ learnt some new ,very naughty words from my dad”

 

[Tashyboy]

When I used to visit the FIL In the care home,one woman I grew fond of was Shirley. Flippin eck she was a rum un. She knew every swear word going. First time I saw her I said “ Heyup Angel what’s your name”. She liked me calling her Angel so we became friends.
I went in one day and her and another woman were having a real go at one another. They were both sat down about 6 ft apart and they were going to rip one another’s heads off. The language was unreal. None of them could get up out of there chairs.
Every time I went in, Shirley had packed her bags coz “ this place is a dump and my fancy man is picking me up after lunch”.
You never knew if you were going to laugh or cry when Shirley was about.
Another woman, she was a proper lady. She used to be a secretary and she wrote everything down in the most immaculate writing. I sat with her for about an hour and she wrote down the following days itinerary in a chronological order of what she was having for breakfast through to supper. She dropped her biro on the floor and was nigh on hysterical because she could not see it. I picked it up for her and she was so grateful for the return of a 10p pen. The odd thing was she had her purse wide open with a wad of notes on show. I politely advised her to close her purse, she wasn’t bothered one bit about the money. It was an eye opener seeing what FIL and others were fixated on.