Big Bob
Casey
Quiros
Casey
Quiros
Then I'd employ HTL as our team manager as he seems to think he knows everything and is always right.
If I were Monty for the day, I'd begin by waking up, eating my usual 17 pork pies for breakfast, washed down with a litre of Irn-Bru - no cooncil pop for me.
I'd then have a wash, and before putting on my finest slacks and shirt, I'd see how my moobs were coming along. following this, I'd grab a pork pie, and eat it on the drive to the course.
When I got there, I'd play 18 holes like an absolute demon, but still have a right face on. I'd also have a few pork pies at the halfway hoose. When I get in, I'll pick my wildcards, using the 'pork pie technique'. Essentially, scoffing a pork pie, before shutting my eyes, and putting a greasy sausage finger on the sheet, times 3. And that's my team.
After this, I'd celebrate getting through this stressful episode, by eating a large pork pie, and heading home. That evening I'd settle down, with a pork pie platter, to watch Spooks. I'd heard someone at the club talking about it, saying it was about pies, but I must have misheard, as it was about spies. Pure gutted. I'd console myself with 2 more pork pies, before a last moob check, then shutting my pork pies, and going to sleep, in my bed, that is in the shape of a pork pie.
No word of a pie, that's what I'd do.
Pie for now folks
"Be Ryder Cup captain Monty for a day! "
Then I'd employ HTL as our team manager as he seems to think he knows everything and is always right.
You can't pick him - he's giving up golf remember?