Awkward situations

[Sats]

Recently had two friends have had a blazing row over cheating. One claimed the other has deliberately changed scores on the score card and dropped balls in a competition (when presumed lost.) However, the other vehemently denies the allegations and unintentionally entered the scores wrong and didn't drop a ball . Anyway this ended in a sod you/sod you situation neither willing to actually sort it out. I'm stuck in the middle and I don't want animosity within our group - I spend enough time dealing with conflict and stress at work and don't want to deal with it at golf, which is my hobby and meant to be fun only.

There is no tangible evidence of cheating - only suspicion. But it's left a rift within our normally lovely group and I'm feeling the stress of it as I can see both sides point of view.

Not really sure what to do - I've suggested that the accused informs the club of the score error and get DQ/NR for it (He hasn't placed well in the comp to win etc) and to the accuser that they smooth thing out for the sake of peace. I've also said that if anyone is cheating then it's a matter for the club and integrity is paramount so don't mess it up just to not come last/win etc.

 

[Grant85]

I think ultimately if there is no proof or you haven't caught them directly in the act, from a golf point of view, you shouldn't be accusing people of anything.

If you really suspect someone then you are just going to have to keep a close eye on what's happening.

From a friends point of view, you are just going to have to wait it out and hope that time heals and they make friends again.

 

[Orikoru]

One of our golf group is certain that another one of us is a serial cheat - but he never accuses him, he just moans about it to the other two of us. Not sure which is worse.

I have friends who hate one another (outside of golf) - ultimately there isn't much you can do, I just try not to take sides, invite them out to social events evenly and let them decide if they want to be in each other's company or not. Although it's annoying for everyone, it is their issue to deal with.

In your case the only solution is a lie-detector for the accused.

 

[Billysboots]

You have to be 110% certain before calling someone for cheating. Seriously. If you aren’t, this is the result.

I’ve seen it happen once or twice like this and, to be absolutely honest, unless there are some serious concessions made, very quickly, there might be no coming back from it.

You don’t use the word “cheat” at a golf club unless you are very, very sure you are in the right, and have the evidence to back your claim.

 

[robinthehood]

Yeah loads of cheats in golf. Ive seen a few blatant ones to other where you are wondering what did you just see.

 

[Ethan]

You have to be 110% certain before calling someone for cheating. Seriously. If you aren’t, this is the result.

I’ve seen it happen once or twice like this and, to be absolutely honest, unless there are some serious concessions made, very quickly, there might be no coming back from it.

You don’t use the word “cheat” at a golf club unless you are very, very sure you are in the right, and have the evidence to back your claim.

Agreed. You need to be able to swear on a Bible that you saw it/can prove it before you even consider saying anything.

The accused has either cheated or made a DQ mistake, either way they need to have their scorecard scrapped, so that deals with one aspect.

I would suggest that you strategically withdraw from the issue and not take sides unless you are damn sure of your position. If the accuser and the accused look likely to become mortal enemies, you might have to pick a side but let it cool a bit first.

 

[Deleted member 21258]

If the person made an error on the card, then whatever the situation he should get inform the club.

The rest is just awkward, should make for a happy 4 ball next time

Hope you don't play for money as group, that would make things awkwarder

 

[HomerJSimpson]

If the wrong score has been entered then I feel there is a duty to report it irrespective of where they finished in the comp. As for anything else it need nipping in the bud and whether that means the OP getting them together to thrash it out or sorting it another way it needs fixing fast or it'll fester and sooner or later the rest of the group will start taking sides

 

[MrC]

However in my opinion when someone finds out that their score is incorrect they should act with integrity and inform the people that need to know. I would do it immediately and disqualify myself from that event whilst apologising for me error.

Mistakes happen but it’s what happens next that counts. If someone didn’t do this I would be suspicious of their character.

That said accusing someone of dropping a second ball is very serious allegation. I would want proof and call it there and then.

Awkward and I feel for you as golf should be fun.

 

[TreeSeeker]

I found out quickly how much golfers take offense to the word cheat being thrown around when i reported someone for taking a gimme in a competition....

In your situation i think i'd just duck down w.r.t the events passed, just move on and stay agnostic, but for certain the next few rounds with the accused i'd be keeping an eye out.

Best "cheat" i have seen so far was when i went out behind a society, and saw a guy throw the ball out of a fairway bunker instead of playing it, took the club into the bunker, waited for playing partners to walk forward to their drives and then just chucked it.

 

[MarkT]

When I was about 14 my dad and I played behind a bloke who moved his ball on four holes on the trot - he was probably doing it earlier but we only caught up with him towards the end of the round. He'd look round and then keep kicking it into position a la Judge Smails in Caddyshack. My dad was the least confrontational person on the planet but he asked him afterwards if he was going to hand in his card and left it at that.
I've never seen anyone look so crestfallen and never saw him ever again at the club. Judging by where he was kicking his ball about he wasn't going to break nett 80 - it was horrible.

 

[USER1999]

Neither of them sound like fun, bin them both, and find someone else to play with.