Are there members you refuse to play with at your club?

[Siren]

After 10 holes today in our new years tankard rerun I seriously couldnt take anymore it was either walk in or wrap my 4 iron round his head (cant hit the thing so it wouldnt be missed).

After 10 holes of constant talking while swinging, his constant this is (Mod Edit) disgusting,(Mod Edit) , course shouldn't be open its crap whenever he hit a bad shot I honestly couldn't take anymore, told him I wasnt going to play with him again, I apologized to the other 2 guys and walked into the clubhouse.

To my surprise when I told the guys in the clubhouse what had happened, quite a few of them have apparently also refused to play with him due to his attitude.

This is where it gets tricky, they guy has actually been a decent mate over the past year and has helped me out quite a bit, but over the past few months his attitude has constantly gnawed away at me to the point I have talked to him twice about it. Even last Thursday his talking during shots got so bad I apologized to our other playing partner for his attitude and told him to take his tee shot again because he was disturbed during his swing by the other guy.

I am sick and tired of my own golf being dependant on his mood swings.

Am I in the wrong here ?

 

[Fader]

IMO if you've already had a word in his ear twice then he's had enough warning from you and refusing to play with him again is your choice and can't say your in the wrong at all, far from it in fact.

There is a guy at our club that at least 70% of the membership refuse to play with for a multitude of reasons, there's his slow play that he refuses to move along quicker but then has the audacity in the clubhouse to blame the people he was playing with. Fortunately he's done it to so many people everyone knows who the real culprit is. He also talks throughout your shots, and tells you when you've hot a peach that a single figure golfer should be able to hit the ball better than that! Or there's the constant coaching he tries to give as your mid backswing. He's even when I've played with him (only ever done that once) told us how his son is +9 handicapper that has beaten Tiger Woods in a skins game, but won't turn pro as he feels beating all the other players would seem unfair!

He's so bad that even people on the reserve sheet for comps have pulled out for fear of ending up with him!

 

[MetalMickie]

No you are not in the wrong if you avoid playing with him in the future. No matter how serious we are about our golf at the end of the day we are all supposed to enjoy it.
Sounds like this guy is preventing you from doing that so give him the swerve.
There is a chap at our club that many avoid as you would otherwise spend the next 3-4 hours hearing how good his game is usually & how "last time out I birdied this hole" etc; etc; no matter how poorly he is playing at the time. By the way it is usually very poorly. Guarantee you would want to throttle him before the end of the round.

 

[Slime]

Am I in the wrong here ?

Nope...............the guy has to learn that he's not the only one playing golf and if he hates it as much as it seems he does, maybe he should be the one to walk off.

Slime.

 

[Junior]

No, it's not unreasonable for you not to play with him and you are not in the wrong. Especially given you have spoken twice to him about his misgivings.

What did he say when you spoke to him about it ? Maybe there are another reasons for him acting the way he is ?

 

[Phil2511]

A guy at my place does nothing but moan and whinge. About anything and everything. Thing is he's not even a member a year yet and moans more than anyone.
It's got to the point were guys have swapped to playing Sundays to avoid him in the anyone welcome group on a Saturday. Every time I play with someone new it seems his not a fan club has grown.

For me the worst part is he begrudges me hitting a good shot and starts trash talking on the course of being a bandit and such, just because you are driving better than him, doesn't matter you don't score though. If you hit any decent shot you are made to feel like a cheat and protecting your hcap.

So I think you are fully right to walk off and refuse to play with him again if he's going to continue that behaviour.

It's actually surprising how irritating some people become on the course.

 

[CMAC]

I am sick and tired of my own golf being dependant on his mood swings.

Am I in the wrong here ?

nope, you've been quite fair and spoken with him about it twice.

I had a 'friend' like that once...........nice as you like off the course, on it he was a different person and could be seen walking in after a few holes each week if he wasn't level par, bounce games were also bad- don't see him anymore, shame really that people act that way for something that gives us all immense pleasure and laughter

 

[Hobbit]

No you're not in the wrong. Our 'spare' time is ours to use as we want, and there's nowt that says you have to do something you don't like.

There is a guy I don't like playing with. He has a 15th club that he uses when others aren't looking. There's loads of people who won't play with him...

 

[shivas irons]

After 10 holes today in our new years tankard rerun I seriously couldnt take anymore it was either walk in or wrap my 4 iron round his head (cant hit the thing so it wouldnt be missed).

After 10 holes of constant talking while swinging, his constant this is (mod Edit) course shouldn't be open its crap whenever he hit a bad shot I honestly couldn't take anymore, told him I wasnt going to play with him again, I apologized to the other 2 guys and walked into the clubhouse.

To my surprise when I told the guys in the clubhouse what had happened, quite a few of them have apparently also refused to play with him due to his attitude.

This is where it gets tricky, they guy has actually been a decent mate over the past year and has helped me out quite a bit, but over the past few months his attitude has constantly gnawed away at me to the point I have talked to him twice about it. Even last Thursday his talking during shots got so bad I apologized to our other playing partner for his attitude and told him to take his tee shot again because he was disturbed during his swing by the other guy.

I am sick and tired of my own golf being dependant on his mood swings.

Am I in the wrong here ?

No your not wrong,dont rely on him for anything, don't play golf with him and enjoy you day/golf with others.......

 

[Siren]

What did he say when you spoke to him about it ?

Shrugged it off both times, he just inst concerned about anyone else its all about him when it come to golf. The sad thing is off the Golf course the guy has a heart of gold and can be god company, however today was just the straw that broke the camels back.

Thanks for the support guys

 

[duncan mackie]

Shrugged it off both times, he just inst concerned about anyone else its all about him when it come to golf. The sad thing is off the Golf course the guy has a heart of gold and can be god company, however today was just the straw that broke the camels back.

Thanks for the support guys

agree all the other comments - but would add; don't give up

soften the message but don't give up because a change would seem to deliver a win win here

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Think you've done all you can. You've broached the subject on several occasions and the bloke is clearly oblivious. If others have had the same issue it can't be you. I would give him a miss for a while and if he comes asking why you haven't played with him tell him and see what he says.

 

[6inchcup]

there were a few at my previous club i would never dream of playing with and did walk of the first in a comp when one was switched from his original group (because they complained to the pro)and put with us,he was a known cheat and liar and i didn't wish to have to spend 4 hours watching his every move,the others there were just loud mouthed knobs,at my present club it has to be a few of the older juniors who are just a pain to play with and every bad shot it treated to a torrent of bad language and a rant,and some seniors who think a 5 hour plus round is ok as they have nothing to do after we finish and think everyone wishes to know everything they have done that week.

 

[duncan mackie]

........ it has to be a few of the older juniors who are just a pain to play with and every bad shot it treated to a torrent of bad language .

this is a difficult one, but you are not alone - as you will know!

wider issues, as you will appreciate, and we are fortunate that coach, parents and the general membership are all working together.

 

[leaney]

Your spare time is yours and you can do with it as you please. We spend enough time in our lives having to work with muppets and there's little we can do about this. But when it's on our time, you need to do whatever makes you happy.

 

[mikeb4]

No you are not in the wrong I had a similar experience last season, and he was my doubles partner ! I spoke with him directly told him politely exactly what I thought he was doing which irritated me, he accepted what I said, though he did not agree. Nowadays we say hello and indulge in polite conversation. Needless to say he is no longer my doubles partner, and my golf improved as well as he was holding me back.

 

[bladeplayer]

As others say "NO " your not in the wrong ,

i would ask this tho , if you have had to say it to him twice already why did you let it get to the blow up it did ? he is not going to change if as you say he just shrugged it off the twice you spoke to him .. if you keep gong back it is inevitable there was going to be a blow up ..

I played with a mate of mine for years same as your mate , a realy good guy off the course, not a great golfer but couldnt accept it was his fault , one day after a society round , we were having dinner , i said something along the lines of ..

"cant play society anymore mate" , he asked why ? i told him straight up "i valued our friendship & if we play golf together we will end up falling out with each other & no round of golf would be worth that" .. he was a bit shocked & got bit stroppy ..but when the dust settled during the week it hit home to him ..

EDIT ..to answer your question , there are 2 people in the club i wont play with , when we have our open draws i will book a time away from the block they have picked ..

 

[timchump]

the guy i normally play with had issues.

a bad shot would typically be followed by swearing, sometimes throwing balls, and in extreme circumastances breaking of clubs.

we always played for a meal after which often wasn't cheap.

i knew as soon as he started on one of his tirades, it was game over, i'd win.

after a while he learnt to control himself, it was getting expensive for him,
i think in part he was trying to be big and clever trying to put me off my golf as well as genuinely geting angry , but i just let him self destruct, took his money off him with a smile and pointed out i knew id win as soon he started loosing it

anyway i digress, i think your 100% right OP don't play with the guy, for a while at least.

or put a wager on your games with him and laugh when he self destructs

 

[ArnoldArmChewer]

You are not in the wrong.

i can only think of one guy I would not play with, purely because imo he should not be in the club after an incident in the clubhouse which is completely inexcusable, I will not even pass the time of day with him.

 

[socky]

after an incident in the clubhouse which is completely inexcusable

which was....?