Anyone got any good golf sayings......

[JustOne]

Smiffy (I think) came up with a classic that I'd never heard after a poor TEE SHOT by one of our group...

something like.... "That was a good shot from such a terrible lie"

 

[feary]

If they leave a putt short say

'Sorry mate, you dropped your lipstick.'

 

[viscount17]

When I lagged a 6 foot putt my mate asked if the putter got caught in the hem of my skirt ????


Cheeky Ba**&*&*8

well what do you expect?

 

[CliveW]

From previous posts:-

GOLF TERMS EXPLAINED

A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A David Trimble - tentative prod

A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water

An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

A Russell Grant - a fat iron

A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O.J. Simpson - got away with it

A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good
runner

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Robin Cook - just died on the hill

A Michael Jackson - gradually fading

A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be

 

[THJahar]

can't believe nobody's used the 'Monica Lewinsky'
All lip and no hole

 

[Region3]

Not things that you'd hear after a shot on the course, but a couple of golf related things I read recently that made me chuckle...

Lee Trevino once said that if you find yourself in a thunderstorm out on the course, you should hold a 1-iron up in the air because "not even god can hit a 1-iron".

Someone on another forum I use described somebody's swing as like "an octopus falling out of a tree".

 

[Smiffy]

Smiffy (I think) came up with a classic that I'd never heard after a poor TEE SHOT by one of our group...

something like.... "That was a good shot from such a terrible lie"

I played with a really funny Brummie who used to come out with classics like that.
Cocking up a tee shot got the response "well you did have an awful bloody lie"
If somebody skied it off the tee he would say "well out" as if you had just hacked a wedge out of some heather or crap or suchlike.
He was a good golfer, played off 9 and was as funny as hell. And he was brilliant at "mind games" and could put you off your game by just saying the right thing at the right time.
We were playing a skins game at Panmure in Scotland one day. Pound a hole. After 4 holes I was £4.00 up and he could sense it was going to be an expensive day.
As I was just about to tee off the 5th, a tight driving hole with gorse bushes running tight down both sides of the teeing area he said to me "Hey Smiffy, you don't want to do what I did here this morning. I came right over the top on my downswing and duffed it into the gorse on the left. Be careful"
I did exactly that, and he won the hole. What a git! If anybody else had done that I would have been livid, but as it was Tommy I forgave him 'cos we all loved him so much.

 

[CVG]

sometimes use " At least its nearer the hole than it was" if CVG tops one 20 yards!!

Steady boyo I haven't done that for at least two rounds!

Seem to be hearing 'found another, damn it's not mine' a lot lately when IMurg hits the long stuff again!

 

[USER1999]

Still not heard a funny one.