Went to get on the bus this morning....

[Smiffy]

and as I stepped on, the Pakistani driver said "I'm jampacked full"
"I couldn't give a feck what your name is, I just want a single to the town centre mate"

 

[bobmac]

and as I stepped on the Pakistani driver

You're lucky he didn't biff you on the nose.

 

[madandra]

I met a wee vietnemese man wearing a bullet proof vest today ... His name was Peting Patang.

 

[stevek1969]

and as I stepped on, the Pakistani driver said "I'm jampacked full"
"I couldn't give a feck what your name is, I just want a single to the town centre mate"

Apperently Gary Glitter wants to manage Aston Villa, he heard there strikers are Young ,Bent and possibly Keane

 

[G1BB0]

Apperently Gary Glitter wants to manage Aston Villa, he heard there strikers are Young ,Bent and possibly Keane

made me splutter my beer, v funny

 

[Robobum]

Isn't he called Ramjam Packedfull??

c/o Jim Bowen circa 1970

 

[madandra]

The bloody dog ran off tonight, so I walked around the park calling it's name for 20 minutes but still couldn't find it, my wife said I should look harder, so I shaved my head and got a tattoo but still can't find the chuffing thing.

 

[medwayjon]

I was sat opposite a gorgeous Thai bird on the train the other day.

I sat there thinking please, dont get an erection, dont get an erection.

But she did.

 

[andycap]

My bloody neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30 this morning. can you believe that ?! 2:30 am!
Luckily for him i was still up playing my drums.....

 

[PhilTheFragger]

1. My mate hired an east european cleaner
But it took her 5 hours to do the hoovering
Turns out she was a Slovac

2. Did you hear about the 20 stone,alcoholic transvestite?

Spends his time eating, drinking and being Mary


Its the way I tell'em

Fragger

 

[bobmac]

A guy woke me up at 2 in the morning wanting a push. I reluctantly got dressed went back downstairs, asked where he was to which he replied "over here on the swings"

 

[Smiffy]

Got thrown out of our local McDonalds yesterday. Went in there for a BigMac meal, the girl serving me was absolutely gorgeous. Stunning.
I placed my order and she said "I can make it large for you for 30p".
"You've already done that" I said, "but could you finish me off for a pound?"

 

[need_my_wedge]

everyone been logging onto www.sickipedia.org this week then.........


There's some funny jokes around, problem is, not sure if I'm allowed to laugh at them....

 

[PhilTheFragger]

I’ve been charged with murder for killing a man with sandpaper.
To be honest I only intended to rough him up a bit.


Fragger