greensman
Club Champion
•The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
•No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
•Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
•When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
•If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
•The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
•If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
•Everyone replaces his divot & repairs the pitchmark after a perfect approach shot.
•A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
•It's easier to hole a 20-foot putt than one of 8-foot.
•Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
•Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
•The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.
•There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
•You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
•Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
•If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
•To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.
•Hazards attract. Fairways repel.
•You can put 'draw' on the ball, you can put 'fade' on the ball, but no golfer can put 'straight' on the ball.
•A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is never yours.
•If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is the one in the bunker.
•If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
•Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
•No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
•Never keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
•When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
•If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
•The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
•If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
•Everyone replaces his divot & repairs the pitchmark after a perfect approach shot.
•A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.
•It's easier to hole a 20-foot putt than one of 8-foot.
•Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
•Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
•The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the centre of a very large tree.
•There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces, and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
•You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch 90% of the time.
•Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
•If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
•To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his backswing by his handicap. Example: backswing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing 600 mph.
•Hazards attract. Fairways repel.
•You can put 'draw' on the ball, you can put 'fade' on the ball, but no golfer can put 'straight' on the ball.
•A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is never yours.
•If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is the one in the bunker.
•If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
•Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
