Struggling

[AllyLodge]

Been a hectic few days.
Got my gcse results on Thursday: 3 a's, 7b's. I needed 4 a's to get back in to my school.
It was completely unexpected and so I was, and still am so upset and angry with myself for not trying harder, even though I thought I tried my hardest.
To make it worse, my twin brother who goes to the same school got back in.
Parents don't realise that even though it's not the end of the world, it takes a long time for me to fit in at a new school and wherever I go, I'm going to struggle. Instead of trying to console me, they're criticising me on why I didn't try hard enough and why my attitude is so bad.
I'm honestly not posting this for any sympathy, but I just need to let this out otherwise it's going to swallow me up.
The only thing that's getting me through it is knowing that I still get to play golf !

 

[GreiginFife]

Did you have a long term game plan that getting back in to your school was part of?
How do you know you will struggle at a new school? Maybe it will be a new lease of life.

It's easy to focus on the negatives and dwell on what might have been. But, and I don't say this with any malice, it's better to learn sooner than later that life is hard. It doesn't always work out to plan. Thing is, it's what you do next that's the important part, the mark of you as an individual. So step back, assess and make a decision based on the reality - you will often find that it's easier than you thought.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

You may have struggled to fit in when you started this school but if you have to change you are now older as is everyone else and so it may not be as daunting as you think. I'd suggest having a deep and open discussion with your parents and clear the air once and for all and then review your options and go forward with a clean slate

 

[DappaDonDave]

May I suggest an apprenticeship. Majority of my mates went to uni. Got in debt and work in shops.

I started an apprenticeship at 19 got a level 2 and 3 NVQ. Went on to study my CPP. I've worked on a national recruitment portal project and am in full time employment within a HR/Recuitment team, which has taught me so much about applying for jobs. I'm now 24.

Don't let getting into a different school be the end of you. If you want to go on and study, being out of your comfort zone will help you, it will make you a stronger person and you'll make more friends in the long run. You may even find a new golfing buddy!

You may not think it now, but looking back you'll realize this moment is the point which changed your life for the best. Wine your brother is stuck with your "old" mates from school who won't be up to much you'll have a different group of friends and a different prospective on life when all he has had is the same school same teachers, same people....BORING

Chin up my man

 

[bigslice]

seeing your handicap drop this year, did you honestly put the effort into your exams? if you answer yes, then tell your parents calmly and politely that you tried your hardest and thats all that you can do. no ask them to help you get to the next stage of your education. i was the oldest out the three of us and didnt go straight to uni, i became a plumbing and heating engineer. wee brother and sister did go straight to uni. later in life i wanted to challenge myself and went to college and uni and got a degree. being older i was more interested in learning new skills.
i can see your parents point 'well if one has done so well what has happened to the other' which is rubbish. just have a wee sit down with them and you plan your next move. imo

 

[AllyLodge]

seeing your handicap drop this year, did you honestly put the effort into your exams? if you answer yes, then tell your parents calmly and politely that you tried your hardest and thats all that you can do. no ask them to help you get to the next stage of your education. i was the oldest out the three of us and didnt go straight to uni, i became a plumbing and heating engineer. wee brother and sister did go straight to uni. later in life i wanted to challenge myself and went to college and uni and got a degree. being older i was more interested in learning new skills.
i can see your parents point 'well if one has done so well what has happened to the other' which is rubbish. just have a wee sit down with them and you plan your next move. imo

I can honestly say I did. I stopped golf from may to June, which is why I have been working on golf in the holidays.
And I got 3a's and 7b's. My brother got 4a's and 6b's so barely any difference.

 

[bigslice]

can you not appeal the results some maybe borderline a/bs

 

[AllyLodge]

can you not appeal the results some maybe borderline a/bs

Yup, but that's going to take a few weeks so need to find a school in the next few days. Luckily, have found a few.
I'd just like to say thankyou to everyone for the advice. I'm trying to look at the positives of this and how I can start on a clean slate at a new school and forget about the bad results I got. Thanks again.
Ally

 

[SwingSlow]

I'm trying to look at the positives of this and how I can start on a clean slate at a new school and forget about the bad results I got.
Ally

I saw As and Bs - I didn't see any "bad" results - don't be so hard on yourself. Good luck with whatever you decide to do. Take what you've learned from your approach to these exams, take forward the positive things that worked and leave behind the approaches that didn't. You've obviously got the ability having nothing worse than a B and the As and your handicap improvement show that you know how to put the work in.

 

[Mr_T]

Mate don't be so hard on yourself, 3 B's and 7 A's is in no way bad, were there any that were on a grade boundary that you could get remarked to try and get pushed up? If its any consolation you have one of the strictest 6th form requirements I've ever seen, so really try and take the positives, if you can honestly say you tried your hardest then you should be proud of yourself and I think you should have a chat with your parents about it as it seems pretty unfair that they've been criticising you and congratulating your brother when he only got 1 more A, good luck with your new school rather than see it as a burden see it as a new opportunity to improve you as a person

 

[ScienceBoy]

I didnt get any A's at GCSE, Bs across the board (in A-levels too actually) bar French (GCSE only) and now I work as a research scientist.

Your parents should realise life is not all about grades. I tried pretty hard and got the job of my dreams!

I was always pretty rubbish at maths but I guess people kept seeing my potential, now I do things like that for a living I am very good at them!

 

[Fader]

3 A's & 7 B's, yet haven't got back into your own school. Seems to me the school are being to eliteist on who they let back in. I saw those grades and thought well done, great effort.

With those sort of grades, your schools lack of acknowledgement of them in letting you back in and your parents harsh words, I'd say you better off finding another school with a better perspective. I'd also have clear the air words with your parents, let them know you put the work in and have the grades to get into pretty much what you want.

Go to another school that will support such good grades and hard work, I think you'll still be able to do what you want in working life with those grades.

Well done, look to the future and build on a good set of results.

 

[User20205]

seems to me your results are pretty good. other than entry into a sixth form no one has ever cared or asked what I got for GCSE.

Places at your school for A Levels must be pretty popular if they can have an entry criteria that is that high. I had to get 5 gcse's a-c to do A levels at mine. I smashed it by getting 4 b's 4 c's and a U in technology, but that was in 1989 when GCSE's were proper hard ;-)

If you want to do A levels go to another 6 form college, It may do you some good to strike out on your own rather than being in the same year as your brother. The change of scene may be a positive, you may get a broader cross section of people and some much fitter girls !!

there are loads of courses you could do. If your parents think 3a's & 7b's is failure they need a reality check.

 

[Mr_T]

there are loads of courses you could do. If your parents think 3a's & 7b's is failure they need a reality check.

Agreed, my school only had an entry criteria of 5 A-C's for my year to get into 6th form, the best school in our areas criteria was 8 B's switch tells you how tough your school is being, with those results you will still be able to do pretty much any subject you want so in o way are they a failure, you tried your best so hold your head high and be proud

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

My part of the world (Surrey/Hampshire Borders) a lot of secondary schools only go up to GSCE. Students then move on to 6th Form College to do their A-levels (I'm guessing that is what you intended to do). So for most the move from one school to another is just part of their educational life. For some this works really well - a new environment, new teachers, new friends, new opportunities. For many it can be a bit difficult but with a bit of effort getting to know others, do new things, and with support from the college they settle and get on with it and enjoy themselves. For some - yes it is undoubtedly harder - but I think many of those who might find it hard think that things are going to be the same as before and expect things to happen - and often that isn't the case.

In 6th form college you are not 'mollycoddled and organised' by the college in the same way as you would have been at school. But this is all part of really learning to stand on your own two feet, and THAT is an important part of the learning experience they go through. Bottom line is that moving from one school to another does involve a bit of effort - but many others are in exactly then same boat - and they too are searching for new friends and shared experiences. In whatever you decide to do - enjoy - and don't worry.

The decisions that you make today may seem absolutely crucial to your future life - but you will find that life develops in it's own peculiar and sometimes random way. Whatever your ambitions are today I can almost guarantee that in 30 yrs time you will look back and wonder 'how the heck did I end up here doing this?' (and that might be standing on the 18th green at St Andrews holding a certain claret jug - but don't set your heart on it - yet)

 

[A1ex]

Going somewhere else will be a bonus.

It'll get you out of your comfort zone and make you step up. You'll meet new friends in a few years you'll look back at it as a good thing.

In 6th form they'll be many new people starting aswell..

 

[Wolfman]

Why are you planning on going back to school, what is your career plan ??

If you are returning without a real passion or desir to follow a career path i would move on and look for a job

You like golf, ask around the golf courses / shops etc as a starter job, get some money and start a work career instead of going back to school

Like others have posted unless you have a career plan and need the qualifications get an apprenticeship or starter job

 

[pokerjoke]

Congrats on your amazing results,you and your parents should be very proud.
We are all scared of change at times,wether its schools,a new job,golf club,however it
could be a blessing,who knows.
Dont be so down on yourself.

 

[Slime]

Could just be the best thing that's happened to you, I'm talking from personal experience here, so let me briefly explain.
I am a twin, biologically non-identical, (seperate fertilized eggs as opposed to one that splits blah, blah, blah), although we do look VERY similar.
As a result we were NEVER regarded as individual people, merely half of a pair, we were both 'one of the twins'.
We didn't really pay any attention to this until we were adults, although we went to the same schools, the same college & worked together until we were fifty years old!
This situation actually gives you the opportunity of being your own person, possibly for the first time in your life, particularly if your part of an identical pair. The situation is as it is...................accept it and embrace it.
As for your parents, I think they are being bang out of order. Tell them you did your best & ask them to accept it, & whether they do or not, move on.............................and prove them wrong at your next school!
All the best,

Slime.

P.S. I think your results are fantastic, be proud.............not angry.

 

[SwingsitlikeHogan]

...I needed 4 a's to get back in to my school

btw - this bit of your post does make me wonder how much your old school actually cared for you as an individual, and how much (more) they care about the performance of the school as a whole. It's only my view, but if a school is happy to 'dump' you - as that is what it sounds like they are willing and seemingly going to do - then that doesn't sound like pastoral care figures highly in their priorities.

Friends of ours were told to take their teenager out of the expensive private school he attended because his GCSE results weren't going to be good enough and would affect their performance. So much for small class sizes in private schools being beneficial to the individual student learning...not it seems if it looks like you may not do that well for whatever reason!. The lad (who we've know all his life) had been sent to PS as he had serious ADHD - a condition lots are cynical about but when you know someone who suffers you understand it's real - with the hope that the environment etc would help him progress. The school accepted him and his parents money until they realised his results wouldn't be very good.

He has since left education (aged 20) and has been working for a year and a bit. Doing well working in a bar, enjoying himself - not earning much but he is happy, his parents and sister are happy for him and are relieved that he has found a niche. Where he goes from now he doesn't know. But he's a bright lad and so will do well - whatever that may be in and wherever he may find himself doing it.

So chin up and don't feel remorse. What's done is done. The world actually is your oyster. Your parents will come round and I am sure will support you in whatever you decide to do. Remember it is your life - not theirs.