Slight exagerations........

[AuburnWarrior]

What's the best story you've ever heard about someone's golfing ability???

In my opinion, golf is the one sport that when you're playing you can't hide. In Football, cricket, etc you can have a real shocker and yet still walk away in a winning team. In the monthly medal, you balls up and you're winning nothing.

A few years ago I was on holiday in Mexico and our hotel had a very nice Jack Nicklaus designed course attached. It was just me and the Wife on the holiday and I didn't really play back then so I decided to admire from afar. We met another couple (no, it's not one of those holidays........) and the fella started telling me all about his sporting exploits - almost played county cricket, almost played top class rugby and, had been banned from his local driving range. Yes, that's right, banned from his local driving range! "Why's that?" I enquired (expecting him to say that he'd got into a fight, etc). "Oh, I got banned because I kept clearing the back fence." "Was it a driving range for a pitch 'n' putt?" I cheekily asked. He stated that the driving range was in fact a full range. Right, you're clearing the back fence - you must be carrying 300 - 350 yards - some player!!! So, we decide to play the course attached to the hotel........

He was RUBBISH!!! Clear the back fence of a driving range - he couldn't clear my back fence (that sounds a bit rude........) and my garden's forty foot!!! He was so bad that of the dozen balls we'd bought in the pro shop, he'd lost them all by the 12th and had to borrow three of mine!!!

To further sum up the bloke, on our return, he e-mailed me to say that he'd played with his Dad and shot a 76!!! My response - how did you fare on the back nine???

What's the best golfing story you've heard relating to someone's ability???

 

[stevek1969]

Homer was an assistant pro

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Homer was an assistant pro

You are quite right

 

[Leftie]

Did you give lessons back in the day at Wimbledon Common?

 

[Putting_Green_Pro]

Homer was an assistant pro

I was Homer's unofficial assistant .

I was also banned from my local driving range.
Why I hear you ask?



My dad said i hit the house too often

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Did you give lessons back in the day at Wimbledon Common?

No.

 

[stevek1969]

Did you give lessons back in the day at Wimbledon Common?

No Leftie it was Fantasy Island ,Boss Boss de plane Boss

 

[Leftie]

Ah.

OK.

Suppose I shouldn't have asked.

Sorry.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

No Leftie it was Fantasy Island ,Boss Boss de plane Boss

You know jack about me and yet you sit in your ivory tower taking potshots. Says more about you I think.

 

[stevek1969]

A guy i used to work beside claimed he was a long drive contestant he went and on for weeks about it until the works outing he couldn't hit it out his shadow and went round in about 150 it was funny as hell.

 

[stevek1969]

No Leftie it was Fantasy Island ,Boss Boss de plane Boss

You know jack about me and yet you sit in your ivory tower taking potshots. Says more about you I think.

Homer dry your eyes mate we know everything about you , you bleat on and on about every detail in your life,so get it right round ya.

 

[HomerJSimpson]

Point is why do you still feel the need to have a dig at a lot of the stuff I write. Is it to make up for some inadequacy in your own life or is just time to have another pop at Homer because the board is quiet? If you don't want to read my stuff don't. Why not just block my posts altogether and save yourself the grief. You actually seem to be confusing me with someone that actually cares about your opinion.

 

[Sneds]

No Leftie it was Fantasy Island ,Boss Boss de plane Boss

You know jack about me and yet you sit in your ivory tower taking potshots. Says more about you I think.

 

[brendy]

Now now ladies. OOB beckons if this thread cannot be discussed like the civil gents that we aspire to be.

 

[Pants]

You know jack about me and yet you sit in your ivory tower taking potshots. Says more about you I think.

Homer

If you set yourself, up as you do, then you have got to be man enough to accept the flack that you will/do undoubtably get.

Don't let it get to you ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hnzHtm1jhL4

 

[JustOne]

I don't think I've ever criticised someone for their playing ability and definitely not based on 18 holes of golf.

I've seen a 2 h/capper 8 under par through 9 holes and a +2 h/capper shoot an 87 who that day clearly couldn't hit a barn's shovel with a cows arse

Players say they are playing well duff it round the course and guys not on their game come in with 44pts - it is what it is on the day and tomorrow it's all different again.

 

[HawkeyeMS]

I've got a similar story about a fella I used to work with. The 1st day he drove into the office car park in his Audi TT (apologies to any TT drivers out there ) I think everyone had him worked out. It wasn't long before he started claiming to be able to drive a golf ball 350 yards regularly. So when the next work society day came up, we invited him along. Turns out he was sh!t as well. Undetered he spent the next few months trying to convince us all that he has never played that badly and doesn't understand what happened, but he never played with us again.

 

[Deleted member 1418]

Mijas, Spain, the Los Olivos Course has a hotel running alongside the entire length of the 1st hole to the right. Played with a guy I didn't know, and as an ice breaker commented that it was quite a daunting first tee shot with the hotel on the right. I thought his response of 'Come on, you've got to be pretty poor to slice it that bad' was a bit confident. I am sure you can guess what happened next!!

 

[golfing_man]

Played with a guy once who claimed to have been a professional at one time, but got hurt, didn't play for years, yada yada... Wasn't a terrible player, but his swing bore no resemblance to someone who'd ever played for money. In my experience, that level of skill can't be worn down to nothing by a few years away from the game.

The kicker was, he said his swing used to resemble Fred Couples.

Sean

 

[Dodger]

Point is why do you still feel the need to have a dig at a lot of the stuff I write. Is it to make up for some inadequacy in your own life or is just time to have another pop at Homer because the board is quiet? If you don't want to read my stuff don't. Why not just block my posts altogether and save yourself the grief. You actually seem to be confusing me with someone that actually cares about your opinion.

That'll be why you have posted then.

Back to the OP,we have all I think played with fellas who have claimed vastly different handicaps than what seems when having an off the cuff 9 with them, I have played golf with a fella who claimed he was an assistant (he is still so no lie there) and a good one at that (a blatent porkie as I have kept tabs on him since and he aint made a cheque yet)....a fine marsbar salesman yes but a talented Golf Pro no.