Relationships and Golf, A Fine Line?

oh what a coincidence this is. Saturday was a mates birthday and a group of us got together for a friendly knock for this occassion. i had said to the girlfriend that i would be playing saturday and not sunday this week for the birthday bash.

As it went i had a good game saturday and fancied playing on sunday, i said to the misses that id take her out for dinner on saturday night and spend the winnings on her, but i wanted to play early sunday morning in our swindle and id be home by 1pm, " no it doesnt work like that, you played both days two weeks ago "

now i could understand if i done this on a regular basis, but i rarely play twince in one weekend. My golf is normally on the basis of a range session on tuesday, the odd saturday range session while she is at zumba (but this is rare) with my swindle on sundays.

As far as i see it we dont have kids, and my social life is pretty much gone since i have been with her, yet playing 2 rounds of golf in a weekend was not allowed. Its going to cause issues in the up and coming months as im now considering joining a local course on a 7 day membership, and they have roll ups on a saturday and sunday morning.
 
I'm quite lucky as my wife does a lot of running (4-5 times a week) so never really have any trouble getting out once at the weekend and maybe 2-3 times a week after work during the summer. Golf on holiday is a different matter and is only "allowed" if she gets to the spa for the equivalent time as i spend on the course...happy days!
 
oh what a coincidence this is. Saturday was a mates birthday and a group of us got together for a friendly knock for this occassion. i had said to the girlfriend that i would be playing saturday and not sunday this week for the birthday bash.

As it went i had a good game saturday and fancied playing on sunday, i said to the misses that id take her out for dinner on saturday night and spend the winnings on her, but i wanted to play early sunday morning in our swindle and id be home by 1pm, " no it doesnt work like that, you played both days two weeks ago "

now i could understand if i done this on a regular basis, but i rarely play twince in one weekend. My golf is normally on the basis of a range session on tuesday, the odd saturday range session while she is at zumba (but this is rare) with my swindle on sundays.

As far as i see it we dont have kids, and my social life is pretty much gone since i have been with her, yet playing 2 rounds of golf in a weekend was not allowed. Its going to cause issues in the up and coming months as im now considering joining a local course on a 7 day membership, and they have roll ups on a saturday and sunday morning.
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I know this feeling well...Most of the time HID is ok with whatever I do as long as I tell her where I'm going and when....But there are times that I think how awesome it would be to be a batchelor again! :D
 
I'm very lucky in that I can pretty much play whenever I want, thanks to HID having a horse. At weekends we try and arrange our respective plans to happen at the same time so that we still get plenty of time together. The summer evenings are great though as it enables us both to unwind after work (her with the horse, me on the course) before getting home for dinner together. I actually asked her just the other week if it bothered her that I planned on playing twice a weekend and most nights after work and her response was "of course not, why would it?" Priceless. :D

I feel sorry for my mates who have to ask the wife before they play each round

I guess it all comes down to who you're with and their outlook on life / hobbies. Fortunately I found a good 'un :) :) :)
 
I'd say classing golf as "keeping fit" is a bit of a stretch. If I didn't go to the gym and just played golf, I wouldn't lose the weight I need to lose!
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how is it a bit of a stretch? (and any stretching's good right? works the muscles ;) )
what walking 4.5 miles 1 or 2 times a week wont help keep you fit?
and its not just about weight its heart & lungs & keeping active

and swinging (&practice swings), bending over to pick/tee ball up repair pitch marks it all helps yes it might not be an entire keep fit solution..

...but alot better than just pressing a button on a remote
 
Been married 20 years. Golf has never been a problem. I play Friday/Saturday/Sunday most weeks, and range on Wednesday evenings. I gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays too.

In the summer, I often play on Tuesday and Thursday too, and do the gym bit some other time (monday?).

She plays tennis, goes to the gym, and runs. If she isn't doing those, she's upstairs on her computer. She doesn't watch soaps, or much tv at all. In the last year she has watched strictly come dancing, the ice dance prog, and the apprentice (which I'd watch anyway). That's it, she doesn't really do telly.
 
aztecs, i think the sh*t needs to hit the fan soon. the way i look on it is this hobby is half a day max. with the exception of saturday being a birthday bash, i nomrally tee off no later than 9am so im always clear by two at the latest, this gives us atleast the afternoon and evening together plus what ever we do at night time.

My last hobby was motocross and i would often be in bed by 10pm on friday night, because i would need to be up at 6am saturday morning, back home by about 8pm saturday night, back in bed by 10pm as would need to be up the same on sunday, and wouldnt be back till 8/9pm sunday night. then add up servicing the bike on tuesday, getting kit ready on thursday and then loading the van friday night, i think the new girlfriend has it easy with golf being my new passion.
 
aztecs, i think the sh*t needs to hit the fan soon. the way i look on it is this hobby is half a day max. with the exception of saturday being a birthday bash, i nomrally tee off no later than 9am so im always clear by two at the latest, this gives us atleast the afternoon and evening together plus what ever we do at night time.

My last hobby was motocross and i would often be in bed by 10pm on friday night, because i would need to be up at 6am saturday morning, back home by about 8pm saturday night, back in bed by 10pm as would need to be up the same on sunday, and wouldnt be back till 8/9pm sunday night. then add up servicing the bike on tuesday, getting kit ready on thursday and then loading the van friday night, i think the new girlfriend has it easy with golf being my new passion.
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It's all about understanding and comprimise...AND communication.

My relationship would be faultless if it wasn't for my terrible communication!

When I do things, I tend become quite obsessed and go at them full tilt.

The last 3 years I've been playing American Football, which takes up EVERY sunday for 9 months (practise days, I'd leave the house around 10:30 and not get back until 6pm and gamedays I'd leave anywhere between 8am and 11am and not get back until between 7pm and 11pm (depending on whether it's a home or away game)) and EVERY Thursday evening for about 5 months. It's a massive commitment and it's meant not being able to plan holidays in the summer and not being able to do alot at the weekends because of it.

It also took immeasurable toll on my body. My shoulders are no longer symmetrical because of an injury and HID would always worry because I bruise pretty easily so would be black and blue for 9 months straight. I didn't care, but she hated the fact I played it (because of the injuries and because she couldn't understand why an hour's game took 3 hours :D) and now I think things will work out better because a.) She plays netball Monday, Tuesday and Saturday and sometimes on a Wednesday and b.)Golf is more flexible. Aside from entering comps/medals, I'm not fixed to a 9 month commitment and can play as and when. So playing early in the morning in the summer and being done by lunchtime means the whole weekend isn't completely blacked out.

Obviously there's times she'll moan about it, but I think she's happier about it (even if she finds it boring!) and it's mostly when I don't really tell her when I'm going and when I'll be back so she has no clue what to plan her day around...And she gets to do Netball when she wants so we've found a decent middle ground.

The main issue we have is that we're a one car couple, so if I have the car at the golf club, she's pretty much stuck at home and vice versa...But we make it work.

I'd sit down and have a chat with her. If she can't understand it, then you have a decision to make. If you're not taking the pish, I don't really see what the problem is.
 
I'm lucky in this as my wife has the opinion that after paying membership it would be a waste of money not to use it as often as possible.

During the summer I can be on the course 5 days a week
 
During the summer:

When my wife was working as a waitress I would play anytime she was at work and it was light out!

Now she isnt working I intend to play 2-3 evenings and 1 weekend day

During the winter:

1 range sesh a week at the most (costs a lot down here!) and two rounds over a weekend or 1 round and 1 practice day.

I expect when she gets a job again I will fix my golf around her ours, last summer I didnt do that and by May she sat me down and we arranged something that fitted what both wanted.
 
I'm lucky in this as my wife has the opinion that after paying membership it would be a waste of money not to use it as often as possible.

During the summer I can be on the course 5 days a week
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Does she have a sister with the same route of thinking.

This is where things are going to go wrong for me. at the moment once a week at my local P&P is costing around £1300 per year, this isnt including range sessions, lessons or mid week twilight games. if thats taken into account £300 a year on range tokens, £200 on lessons and im just shy of £2k without any socialising, drinks and food etc and no twilight games.

Now if i join my local which is £995.00, my golf would be unlimited, they have a good practice ground, nice putting area and generally the club seems very welcoming, Tuesdays is my night anyway which currently is range/lessons, this would become 9 hole night, but with a free practice ground, and free golf, i could be playing 9 holes/practicing twice a week in the evenings, with 2 early games on weekend mornings. my arguement would be that im getting my monies worth, she will no doubt think different. :D
 
I think the trick is to play early in the AM, I frequently tee off at 6-9am and get home well before 2pm so I can do some chores and spend time with the wife (still reluctand to reffer to her as I HID as I guess that joke is before my time on here).

Helps that the wife goes to bed late and wakes up at 10-11am as she is currently not working.
 
Science boy,. i never tee off later than 9, even 9.15 at the absolute latest, theres just no pleasing.

Mind you she hasnt bleeted about the new driver, putter and bag from febs spending session so maybe i should stay quiet
 
.....and because she couldn't understand why an hour's game took 3 hours :D) ......
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She's not alone there Aztec :D
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:D it's definitely the marmite of sport.

I love the tactical approach to the game and it's also the ultimate team sport as you HAVE to rely on your team mates to do their job and not get away from the assignments you've been given, otherwise the whole thing just falls to pieces. I may not be playing now, but I will always be a part of the "family", which is effectively what the bonds and ties that you get from playing gives you, an extended family and friends that you would just about do anything for.
 
A few years back, one of the two guys I played all my golf with in my 20s and 30s turned 40. We don't see much of each other any more so I suggested I sort somewhere out for a night away and a couple of rounds of golf to celebrate and relive those early golfing memories.

They were both up for it. Neither of their wives would entertain the thought. How sad.

I know I'm lucky in that I get to play a decent amount with the job, but my wife would never be like that even if I didn't.
 
Is this forum now RELATE???? :D

It's just about being honest and open isn't it??

We have a family calendar where we put all our stuff on it. If there are any clashes we have a chat about which one is more important or how we can get round accomodating things for the best.

There is a bit of give and take but in the general we make sure that we both get to do as much of the stuff we want to and spend enough good time together and with our daughter.

If it ever got to the stage where I thought I had to ask permission to play, then I would think I was with the wrong person. :D
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Is the right answer - exactly the way it works for me.
 
Had the deaded "I sometimes think your more interested in Golf than me" on Saturday morning -This came as I suggested that I take her out to lunch half and hour later as wanted to clean my clubs before it rains!
Played Sunday Am got home and was told that her sister and brother in law (plays) were coming over in afternoon. She then tells me that he wanted to go down the range with me - Thinking this was a trap I waited for her to confirm that her and her sister were gonna go down the gym before I committed!

On a similar subject, how many of your respected others really know the financials that you spend on your golf gear - I for one brought my Scotty Newport for "only £79"!
 
Science boy,. i never tee off later than 9, even 9.15 at the absolute latest, theres just no pleasing.

Mind you she hasnt bleeted about the new driver, putter and bag from febs spending session so maybe i should stay quiet
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providing you actualy told her (1) about febs spending (2) the true cost of it ?? did you tell her how much ya spent ?
 
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