Quirky expressions

[Daffy]

Hi all
I was playing with a couple of blokes the other week who i'd never played with before (distant relative of a distant relative sort of thing) and they uesd a couple of expressions to describe shots that made me chuckle.
The first was a short putt that was described as the "Dennis Wise" - a nasty little 5-footer
the other was fairly lengthy bump and run that was described as the "Sally Gunnell" - not much to look at but keeps on running
Does anyone else have any off beat and quirky descriptions for our off-beat and quirky game?

 

[madandra]

This was cut and paste from CliveW's earlier post.

They are crackers:


From previous posts:-

GOLF TERMS EXPLAINED

A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner

A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole

A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer

A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer

A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read

A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out

A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't

A Cuban - needs one more revolution

An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim

An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker

A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand

A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect

A Kate Moss - bit thin

A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional

A David Trimble - tentative prod

A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water

An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result

A Russell Grant - a fat iron

A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron

A Rodney King - over-clubbed

An O.J. Simpson - got away with it

A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good
runner

A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver

A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver

A Robin Cook - just died on the hill

A Michael Jackson - gradually fading

A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs

An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you

A Ken Livingstone - quite far left

A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right

A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems

A condom - safe but didn't feel real good

A circus tent - a BIG top

An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result

A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it

A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target

A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be

 

[HawkeyeMS]

Gynaecologist's Assistant - Just shaved the hole

 

[Imurg]

Bin Laden - you know where it is but you just can't find it.

 

[Robobum]

Telling you playing partner it's still their turn to putt:

Dead sheep..........still ewe!!

 

[USER1999]

I hate all these. They are indescribly naff, and many are insulting.

Why some ugly fat balding bright red faced sweaty unfit badly dressed *** feels he is better looking than Sally Gunnel remains a mystery to me.

What does this crap say about our sport?

 

[TWM]

Why some ugly fat balding bright red faced sweaty unfit badly dressed *** feels he is better looking than Sally Gunnel remains a mystery to me.

I totally agree. Sally Gunnel is a lovely person.
However I like the Rock Hudson one.

 

[HRC99]

I hate all these. They are indescribly naff, and many are insulting.

Why some ugly fat balding bright red faced sweaty unfit badly dressed *** feels he is better looking than Sally Gunnel remains a mystery to me.

What does this crap say about our sport?

Apologies, Mr Gunnell.

 

[viscount17]

Barnes Wallis - skipped across the water

it's about the only one that I've heard used anything like routinely, all the others sound artificial.

 

[Daffy]

I hate

Why some ugly fat balding bright red faced sweaty unfit badly dressed *** feels he is better looking than Sally Gunnel remains a mystery to me.

What does this crap say about our sport?

I AM better looking than Sally Gunnell

And what it says about our sport is that we don't all take it too seriously (well i don't, anyway)

Terribly sorry you got offended by my irreverent musings, please pass on my apologies to the other member of the sally gunnell fan club

I'm right about Dennis Wise though

 

[USER1999]

I just think most of them are sad, were never funny, and not in common usage. You see the red tops publish this guff, accompanied by some old duffer in plus fours, which makes us look like knobs. I don't know many guys who use these, and the only ones who do ARE knobs.